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Your thoughts on sex and virginity
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28 / M / Oklahoma
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Posted 8/30/13
Sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. Sometimes knowing what you want, what the other will do, and so forth are just as important as the emotional side. Ignoring either physical or emotional needs will not lead to a healthy relationship in my opinion, and as such it's still important to have sex before marriage.

Does this mean go and sleep with everyone? No. However, it does mean find someone you trust and are willing to experiment and learn with that has the potential of being that long-term someone. If it doesn't work fine - you gained something of importance in experience. If it does work out, great!
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Posted 8/30/13

saksiss wrote:

Never losing my virginity. Honestly speaking, I dislike the idea of interacting with other peoples private areas very much.. Frankly I find them gross to look at. People can argue that I'm gay, but in all honesty, I would rather die than have to go through with sex. Label me as a prude or whatever, doesn't really bother me as it's not true.

Tl;dr: genitalia is disgusting and I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole.


Agreement.
Posted 8/30/13 , edited 9/21/13
I happened upon this preachy old post of mine and wept with disgust in my hypocrisy.

Let's look at it the scientific and realistic way. Breeding is often a crapshoot. If you wish to remain a virgin forever, have at it. If you want to lose it for whatever reason, take note of the possibilities. Men can become sex obsessed maniacs after just one sexual encounter. Women often regret engaging in their first time due to physical and emotional pain. It's not like the guy who popped her cherry wants to sit around and listen to her cry. Insensitive yet? Get some popcorn.

Do you know what an abortion looks like? Lot's of screaming from anyone who sees a video of it. Do you want to have tests done for STDs? Some of which are painful? Well, go out and grind you junk on some filthy parasite and see which one(s) he or she lied about not having. Have you ever looked in a dumpster in a bad neighborhood and found an abandoned infant? I haven't, but something tells me that this is where humanity is going; a dumpster in a ghetto full of fucktards.

I too have my fantasies. I have hormones. I have desires. I'd like to rail the living shit out of great looking chick, but despite the beliefs some people have, rubbers aren't foolproof. They can't stop the HIV virus. They can break. They stink. They kill sensation. They suck.

*does some coke* hhhhMMMMKKAY! I gotta say y'all are looking awesome today! I just wanna f-ck you all so good it just I can't stand how the pictures on the walls are OFF CENTER!

Now, we hear about how some people have powerful sex lives. Are they undamaged emotionally to allow for this? Are they really that lucky? Do people even see virginity as a gift to give anymore? Does anyone care? Likely not. You just have to throw it out and build your experience points... or you can fap or schlick until you finally can't stand being alone while listening to your asshole friends in relationships belittle you because their neurochemistry is so heightened by love that it leads them to shit allover you for being single. Fucks.

It's either you've boned or not. It's that simple. You make the choice. Stay abstinent or have sex until you pop out some kids. Or end up with STDs that should make you think twice about conceiving, but they can't stop you. If you are unable to control your urges, then that's a problem to some. If you are in complete control of yourself and your logical processes which know what is the smart move to make, why would anyone argue against it? Maybe because they envy your purity or lack of scarring experiences. Maybe they want you to become destroyed like they have for being irresponsible? Maybe you aren't responsible enough to uphold some kind of sexual morality, and if that is the case, you will become happily destroyed just like everyone else. If you are so afraid of not doing what it takes to appease everyone around you, then jump on the bandwagon of really bad choices. If you like your dignity, grace, and worth, then pursue a non-destructive path.

I think I will find out which side of this I belong on. I may come to find the most hideous ruinations of my being. Become a shell of the shell I was before. Wasted and broken. Unless.... unless.... I can still see why it might be better to protect myself.
Posted 8/30/13
Well, I'm going to sound like the average promiscuous person, but I don't really care about virginity... it's also probably because I'm male and society doesn't really expect men to be virginal.



I'm also not someone who puts personality above sexual compatibility; I mean I'm not polygamous, I do have a monogamous mindset, but I just have flexibility when it comes to this. If someone wants only sex, I'm flexible to that. If someone wants dating, I give them that.

I just don't believe I have to be strictly no sex, or strictly sexual. I can be flexible regarding the other person's request.


In regards to sexual compatibility, I put it #1 on my priority list in regards to relationship. I can be true to one person, but I'm not going to lie to myself and say that personality is everything and the only thing that matters.

There are some men, no matter how handsome they are, who cannot make me feel good. While some men might be average in looks, but can make me feel so much pleasure.



Sorry if what I said is "too much information".
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26 / F / Honolulu, Hawaii
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Posted 8/31/13

zinjashike wrote:

Sexual compatibility is important in a relationship. Sometimes knowing what you want, what the other will do, and so forth are just as important as the emotional side. Ignoring either physical or emotional needs will not lead to a healthy relationship in my opinion, and as such it's still important to have sex before marriage.

Does this mean go and sleep with everyone? No. However, it does mean find someone you trust and are willing to experiment and learn with that has the potential of being that long-term someone. If it doesn't work fine - you gained something of importance in experience. If it does work out, great!


yes, i agree that sex and love must be based on trust. being honest with one another is important. truly honest. nobody is perfect and two people who really love each other will be able to overlook and forgive any past mistakes and errors. I think that that is what makes a good couple. am i being too idealistic? probably, but hopefully i and all of you will be able to find that person!!

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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 8/31/13

Elektrawnik wrote:

So much meaning has been lost over the years. It's unfortunate that people will so willingly give up their bodies thinking it will make a significantly positive change in their lives. All too often, it doesn't change anything for the better, and there may even be regrets involved with the choices people make.

There is far too much pressure for people to lose their virginity in order to be socially acceptable in today's world. It's as if no one has any self-respect or foresight. They just haphazardly toss their fluids around and risk life-destroying consequences. Because hey, condoms aren't 100% fool proof. Diaphragms aren't either. No contraceptive is totally safe. And stupidity isn't going to help make things more safe.

Virgins have become condemned by others passed a certain age. It won't be long before very young kids pressure each other into sex not all that long after being potty trained, and that would be just plain corrupt and insane. Possible, due to the part of human nature where we escalate things to the point of disaster. It's like leaving animals cramped up in a room with each other. They will breed way out of control. Imagine a house full of inbred cats for a moment.

Now, I think I will cap it all off by saying; be more conscientious about yourself and others in a way that reflects education about how the body and emotions work. Know why it is so easy to harm yourself or another. Know why we are better off making informed decisions about sexuality. Recognize the crucial details and never give in to pressure from others to do something which isn't a part of self-respect and the respect of others. You own your own body, not someone else who thinks they, in their possible sex-crazed mania, know what is best for you.

Alright. That's my 2 1/2 cents.


Condemned... socially unacceptable...

orz
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24 / F
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Posted 8/31/13
I don't think there's anything wrong with losing your virginity as long as you are losing it to a person who genuinely cares for you, and you are playing it safe. I do not vouch for casual sex...it's the most intimate act, and it doing it with people you hardly know is just unacceptable for me. The only thing that matters is that in the end, no matter what happens, there should be no room for regrets later.
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22 / F / Parallel Mooniverse
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Posted 8/31/13

Bankshot wrote:

Your body is a temple. What your eat, drink, smoke, listen to, touch, heat or cold, all have an effect.

Sex is no different...but sex should not be trivialized...it is a paring and a bonding to another human being that you 'should' trust with your life, because it can easily create one.

Yes I know their are all types of birth control, but that won't keep you from getting sexually transmitted diseases...

Women are not receptacles....and men are not dildos or plugs....neither are toys!

Sex commands respect...don't have sex just to have sex...if you are a virgin, you are a special surprise package waiting to be opened by the right person...for life...not for a thrill.

Human beings are fragile...on both sides. Chose your mates wisely...because you will be stuck with them forever...or what they leave behind...and no...it won't be a piece of empty baggage...

Yeah, I'm old fashioned....so sue me...


^Bump it~
Kayuzo 
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20 / F / Miami, Florida
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Posted 8/31/13
It's something that you should do mostly out of love, not lust. To try and get a baby, not just because you're a teenager and you've been with your boyfriend for a few months and you feel like it.
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29 / M / Kentucky
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Posted 8/31/13
Well since the OP was asking in regards to marriage... I think sex after marriage is great and all but responsible sex before marriage is fine too. I don't think virginity is important at all and just a socially crafted word to promote abstinence and a sense of "purity" as if that somehow makes you a better person. If your one of those people that is just saving your first time for the one you really love then that's cool, it's your choice anyway.

....

....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxK_nA2iVXw
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33 / M / South Saskatchewan
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Posted 8/31/13
Sex and Virginity are only connected in the sense that one negates the other. You are obviously asking because you are having difficulties in rationalizing if you should wait or not, but that may not be the right question to get the answer you want or need. There are many things that need to be considered. Young males have a pre-programmed instinct to become sexually active and procreate, this just happens to be very early in compared to young females. Humans as a course of nature have always started after puberty has advanced our bodies to be capable, but we have developed a society that places limits to ensure we have matured enough for the responsibilities that will come about. That being said society has always had a double standard against sex, religion has added a taboo to the subject to help instill the gravity of the responsibilities that sex produces. Virginity has had such a high profile due to the high occurrence of venereal disease (VD) that was prevalent from the 1200's to current. If you met you partner as a virgin, and they were virginal then the chance for catching an early STD was considered impossible. Now we know that to be not true, but some still hold to that type of thinking.

Now you have some history and general knowledge, consider this: Are you ready to look for the one (or in some cases two or three) person(s) that you want to always be with? Take sex out of the picture for the moment to answer that, then ask: Do I want to have a child with this person? If you’re young, the answer is most likely no, but it may also be maybe. If it is a Yes then you already have an answer we cannot help you with.

My own experience has taught me to look for qualities in my partner that tell me I am more than just a convenience. That I am cared for and she wants to be with me for whom I am, not for what I can be. Sex for the pleasure can be done with anyone, sex as an expression can only be done with someone you can trust, is mature enough (mentally mature, there are many in their 30's that are still not mature) and is willing to wait, hold off and be comfortable with your decision. You ask if you should keep your virginity, well my own opinion is to tell you that you should until you find someone to help you learn about this aspect of life. All anyone can suggest is that you weigh the options out there, not all of them are good for you physically or mentally.

This is a tough area of advice only because your morals are based on your upbringing. Only you can find your answer, but you do have some of the best sources of advice: your parents, they may want to skirt the issue because this leads to them thinking you’re going to start having sex. A good and shared concern due to the number of teen-pregnancies. But the better informed you are, the better decisions you can make. Something simple as knowing about when your parents became active can help you decide, though if they started early doesn’t mean you have to. Statistically the average age-range for first sexual activity is 15-17. This is pretty much common in Canada and the USA, however in poorer countries the age dips as low as 14.

My personal advice: don’t use your peer group to judge when you should start. If you plan/want to stay a virgin for a while then be proud. Just don’t say things like: I’m waiting for marriage or for the right person. Just be honest and say you’re still a virgin and if pressured to change your status, ask why? Sex is nothing more than 20mins hard work for a 5min burst of euphoria, down side is that even with contraceptives it is still a game of Russian roulette.
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27 / M
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Posted 8/31/13
My thoughts on sex and virginity is if you are a young lady you have a lot of responsibility. Young men too. Personally I think you shouldn't be having sex until you can take care of a child lest all the birth prevention measures fail. I think its the smart thing to do. There is a little bit of moral objection too but it is what it is...
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30 / F
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Posted 8/31/13
Sex: I think it's fine to experiment, and to educate yourself about your body and its needs and wants. But, this does not mean that you should sleep with anyone, and please use safe-sex practices (STD/STI checks and protection for yourself and your partner). It's better to play safe than sorry. Also gloves and lube since your hands are the dirtiest things around, and nails can breach skin. You can find all this stuff online these days and I'm not linking anything. I like to stay on the good side of the Mods and Administrators.

Virginity: It's not as special as you think, but first impressions can mean everything everything. So, try and do it with someone you like and trust as your first. Take your time, and get comfortable.

Final note that need to be said: Porn is not a how to guide for actual sex, and you will both most likely get hurt trying out the stunts they pull in those (there is a reason they're called the Olympic athletes of the sex industry). Please, please, do proper research before beforehand. It's better to be safe than sorry.
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24 / F / in the TARDIS wit...
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Posted 8/31/13
I respect people's decisions about sex and virginity as long as it doesn't harm them or others. What matters is the wisdom and prudence to make the most proper decisions about your own body.

Most likely I wouldn't enter into a relationship until I finish my education and become financially stable on my own, so I don't think I'll be sleeping around either until then. Marriage isn't part of my plan either; I rather like to be a careerwoman, even if people question why my priorities aren't "starting a family, falling in love, or building a home". I only hope I don't end up a lonely old woman left with no significant others in a hospice.

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19 / F / USA
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Posted 8/31/13
Just wait until you meet the right person, married or not. Just stay safe and don't do anything stupid.
You're better off telling people to have safe sex than not have sex at all.
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