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Random, Funny, Whatever Jokes
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22 / M / Livingston, Louis...
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Posted 9/6/13
The title. You see it? Good. If this gets locked, that makes like, 3 or so threads I've created that have been locked. Giddy.

So, just post jokes. Random jokes, puns, guy/blonde/horse walks into bar, whatever. As per forum rules, keep it PG-13. I'll leave it to you guys to know what's right and wrong.

I'll start. Dunno if anyone's heard this one. I used Google cuz I'm original.

Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."
The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."
The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
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18 / M / Big Apple
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Posted 9/6/13
Ask if I'm a tree.
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20 / M / Eng Land
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Posted 9/6/13
Are you a tree?
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18 / M / Big Apple
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Posted 9/6/13 , edited 9/6/13
no
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83 / F / Bite the pillow.
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Posted 9/6/13
A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.
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22
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Posted 9/6/13
What's brown and sticky?


A stick.
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83 / F / Bite the pillow.
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Posted 9/6/13
A guy walks into a bar carrying jumper cables.
The bartender says, "Hey pal, don't start anything in here."
Sogno- 
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Posted 9/6/13

Hairbelly wrote:

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.



Bavalt 
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28 / M / Canada
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Posted 9/6/13
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer. Before the fifth can order, the bartender says "You're all jerks," and pours two beers.
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Canada
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Posted 9/6/13
I got this from an 11 year old at my Co-Op place.

What did the left breast say to the right breast?



^ 2minutes of laughter.
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52 / M / In
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Posted 9/6/13
A guy walks into a doctors office with a duck on his head
the doctor goes "Can I help you?"
and the duck goes "yeah can you get this thing off my butt?"
Posted 9/6/13
This is kind of a long one but one of my favorites.

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a blonde. The news on the TV nearby is showing a man determining whether or not he should jump off a building and commit suicide or not. The man bets the blonde $10 that the man is going to jump and she says "Ok, deal". Later on, the man on the tv jumps and commits suicide. The blonde hands the man $10. He thought for a moment, and handed the money back saying "I'm sorry, I can't take this, I saw this news report this morning and I knew the man jumped." The blonde smiled and said "Oh I did too! I just didn't think he would do it AGAIN!"
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23 / M / Canada
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Posted 9/6/13 , edited 9/6/13
A cloud of argon floats into a bar. The bar tender looks at it and says "sorry, we don't serve nobility here". The argon doesn't react.
ba-dum-tsh
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23 / M / Canada
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Posted 9/6/13

BakaDino wrote:

This is kind of a long one but one of my favorites.

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a blonde. The news on the TV nearby is showing a man determining whether or not he should jump off a building and commit suicide or not. The man bets the blonde $10 that the man is going to jump and she says "Ok, deal". Later on, the man on the tv jumps and commits suicide. The blonde hands the man $10. He thought for a moment, and handed the money back saying "I'm sorry, I can't take this, I saw this news report this morning and I knew the man jumped." The blonde smiled and said "Oh I did too! I just didn't think he would do it AGAIN!"


LOL

Another blonde joke: 3 women get stranded on an island. One is brunette, one blonde, and the last a red head. They see another island in the distance and decide to swim for it. Taking turns, the brunette goes first and drowns. Next, the red head, but she gets eaten by a shark. The blonde decides to try, gets half way.says "I'm tired" and swims back...........
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28 / M / wherever my work...
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Posted 9/7/13
Two muffins are baking in the oven. 1st muffin says, "Man, it's hot in here". 2nd muffin says, "Holy crap, a talking muffin!"
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