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How do you get over a break-up?
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Posted 9/18/13
How do you get over a break-up?
Whether you were the one who broke up with or got broken by.
How did you get over it?
Break ups can be bad or healthy, really depending on the situation.



Me, well, I've yet to break up.
But I can't imagine how bad I would feel if it happened right now, but if it did, I'd go for a very long walk or bike ride to think.
Then I'd hang out with my bros and have a good time.

Please, do tell me everything about your relationships, because I'd really love to know how it went.
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28 / M / ಠ_ಠ
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Posted 9/18/13
time & space/distance...which wasn't the easiest to do b/c we were living together. THAT'S the worst--breaking up with someone you LIVE with. especially when they start sleeping with other people, but you've still got stuff there, & you walk in on that ish. oh god, what a terrible breakup that was.
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Posted 9/18/13 , edited 9/18/13

dylansayshello wrote:

time & space/distance...which wasn't the easiest to do b/c we were living together. THAT'S the worst--breaking up with someone you LIVE with. especially when they start sleeping with other people, but you've still got stuff there, & you walk in on that ish. oh god, what a terrible breakup that was.


Dang bro, that sounded bad.
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Posted 9/18/13
I don't think I've met a person who's broken up a serious relationship without feeling pretty messed up. Dating for a month and realizing things won't work is one thing, but ending long-term relationship isn't easy for either side.

My first serious break-up was the worst. I decided I wanted someone out of my life and so I left without even really saying goodbye or explaining why. This was a really bad call on my part. The complete lack of closure really made things hard since it left me with a million things to say and not able to say them to the person who really mattered. If you have to break up with someone, try to have "the difficult talk" before you go.

As far as coping goes, I went completely off the rails and hit a lot of clubs and bars. There was a lot of manic smiling and desperate laughter, it was probably pretty irritating for my friends. Eventually I started to bounce back. I took on a lot of extra work, started taking self-defence courses, got back to working out regularly again, got involved in local volunteer work and went and met a whole bunch of new people.

Getting over a breakup doesn't happen quickly. I still get a little pang of regret when I think about how things went down. But it gets better over time, and eventually you stop dwelling on "what-if"s and start taking lessons away from it. I guess that's part of growing up.
Posted 9/18/13 , edited 9/18/13
Some people do what is called crating. An activity to help focus the mind from the emotional trauma.
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24 / M / SoCal
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Posted 9/18/13 , edited 9/18/13
1. After breaking up I either give them their personal stuff back (any pictures, and stuff like that) or toss it and then just walk out. I will completely break contact with that person. Idk, I'm not the kind of guy who can remain friends after breaking up. Its not that I'm trying to be mean or anything, I'm just not the kind of person who can do it. After that I will normally get a bit more involved in either the gym, neighborhood, or whatever I can find. Its pretty much what I do until I find someone else.

2. The last break up I had was with a girl whom I dated for 3 years. We both changed and she just so happened to change into someone who wasn't good for me. It was a really hard decision for me but I did end it with her. She closed herself off from me in the weeks prior, and everyone around us knew our relationship had fallen apart. After I broke up with her she kept leaving me voicemails and texts asking me to give it a second shot. I declined the offer and haven't talked to her since. It's been a couple months but things have gotten better in my life since.
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20 / M / Floor 61: Salembu...
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Posted 9/18/13
Well... when I broke up for the first time, it really got me thinking about what I might have done wrong. She gave me the whole, "it's not you, it's me" speech, so obviously something happened. What I did, I went on a car ride with my friends, stopped by a convenience store and got some food and just hung out as pals. After that I felt a lot better after telling them about what happened and they cheered me up.

The moral of the story: If you have good friends that'll stick by your side, you'll do just fine.

(6 months later I actually found out that it was indeed something going on in her life that caused the breakup, so I ended up thinking way too long about something that wasn't true. But oh well.)
Posted 9/18/13 , edited 9/18/13
I tell myself they weren't the one and start preparing myself for whomever is all over again. I find that, at least from where I stand, the hardest thing in a break up is believing that it ended even though you really loved them - so I don't tell myself that I did.
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23 / F / SA
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Posted 9/18/13
For someone who recently got out off a serious relationship, I find it hard to move on specially if everything around you reminds you of them, music, games you used to play together (dont tell me to quit a game I paid for over $50 on it lol) their friends, their family members who still talk to you on fb (shit me plz) even the room you guys used to spend time together in. If i could i would destroy everything , kill everyone that reminds me of them, burns stuff and there we go, I might get better but no, it has to be so fucking hard.

How to get over it? I dont know how, i dont think i will know how. I will just leave it to time.
Posted 9/19/13 , edited 9/19/13
Just die inside and then wait till the pain ends. just remember to not lay around that tends to make people remember all the pain.
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30 / M / ANimA HQ
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Posted 9/19/13
Weeeeeeeell my Ex- just...cuts herself
Posted 9/19/13
Make a break-up a make-up without actually making up.
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23 / F / AUSTRALIA
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Posted 9/19/13
Convince myself that that person doesn't deserve me and that'll I'll find someone 1000x times better. So long sucker.
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25 / F / in the land of th...
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Posted 9/19/13
I used frequent flyer miles and left for New Orleans, had the time of my life and had no problem meeting a blue eyed boi...
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32 / F / The Frozen Tundra...
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Posted 9/19/13
I have been through breaking up and being broke up with enough to know the good, the bad and the ugly.

The hardest one that ripped me to shreds: Having your boyfriend call you to end it saying that their priorities are messed up in life only to see them later (two weeks) with a new girl (who was engaged to someone else) practically draped all over him. It sucked because we were both in similar circles and he loved trying to be physically intimate with her in front of me as if to rub it in. Found out later that he was cheating on me with her which pretty much put salt into the wound. Sadly, if he was honest as said he liked someone else I would have been bummed but would have gotten over it. What honestly got me more was him saying he needed to get his life in order and work on his priorities and that once that was done we could re-evaluate things and he felt bad that I was always using my resources to see him. I stupidly lent him money to help him out (never saw it again >.> ) only to get crushed two weeks later that the pretty picture he painted was pretty much all LIES. It made me question everything and pick myself apart so much that I was a bit of a wreck. It took a long time to get over it ... just thankfully had amazing friends and grad school to keep me occupied.


Easiest one: We were in a long distance relationship and while we clicked very well and enjoyed each others company very much it was wearing us both pretty thin to be in a long distance relationship. We talked it out and agreed to stay friends and if we are ever single and in the same area why the heck not try dating again. We stayed great friends and laugh our butts off when we both started seeing other people the same week freaking out about telling the other person. Cleanest break up ever (not even the infamous exchange of goods). If anything that break up made life easier for both of us because we were not stressing when we would see eachother and saving time off and money for plane tickets.
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