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How can I tell if a guy likes me?
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Posted 9/23/13 , edited 9/23/13

bogglehank wrote:

Before we overwhelm the original question of this thread... Anyone who thinks they have a clue what the friend zone is should read its definition and explanation on wikipedia. It truly is neutral and non biased towards any group, sex or religion. It is not about people using one another either. Any negative inclinations anyone has about the term "friend zone" are your personal experiences clouding its actual neutrality with your own invisible context. A decent example of this current situation would be the modern term "grammar nazi" and if someone were to call themselves one in the presence of a ww2 veteran who might pull an invisible context of their experience with the term "nazi" and get very offended. I hope this clears up a few misunderstandings.


I know the textbook definition, but it's not what people are referring to when they passively aggressively accuse women of leading them on and not giving back.
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Posted 9/23/13


He likes you.
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22 / M / Canada, MB
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Posted 9/23/13 , edited 9/23/13
Also as a side note, I know many people who activity use and abuse eachothers feelings. It does exist and I see severe cases of it at least once every 3 months. The most recent (doesnt relate with friend zone) is when my brother worked out of town for 3 weeks and the whole time he was gone and even before he was gone his girlfriend was cheating on him with one of his best friends (ouch double betrayal). While she was cheating she frequently requested that he send her money for random expenses like immunization shots for their dog (which was a lie because the dog was never taken to the vet) and even upon his return home she waited till he paid the rent to let him know she is now dating his friend and empty all of his belongings out of the apartment. Shes a horrible person who emotionally scarred my brother for a long time.
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Posted 9/23/13

bogglehank wrote:

Also as a side note, I know many people who activity use and abuse eachothers feelings. It does exist and I see severe cases of it at least once every 3 months. The most recent (doesnt relate with friend zone) is when my brother worked out of town for 3 weeks and the whole time he was gone and even before he was gone his girlfriend was cheating on him with one of his best friends (ouch double betrayal). While she was cheating she frequently requested that he send her money for random expenses like immunization shots for their dog (which was a lie because the dog was never taken to the vet) and even upon his return home she waited till he paid the rent to let him know she is now dating his friend. Shes a horrible person who emotionally scarred my brother for a long time.


. . . OH MY GOD. What was wrong with her? Did she actually have a beating heart? I genuinely have never encountered people like that before in my life, much less begin to understand their emotional motives.
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Posted 9/23/13

Latchan wrote:

Yowa29: Sorry, the "friend zone" isn't actually a thing. It's a term that some guys out there came up with to describe unrequited love. Because, really, that's what the "friend zone" is: unrequited love. The difference is that guys can slam girls with the "friend zone" while unrequited love is gender-blind.



Well, I think it is a thing. It's just a lot rarer than some guys would have you believe. I think there can be cases where people have been friends for so long, that even if they're attracted to each other + like each other as people, it'd be weird for them to be involved romantically (and I think this is more the case in the mindset of women than men). A lot of men, however, just use it to describe their relationship with any woman who isn't romantically interested in them.

Luckily for me, I don't feel anything other than physical attraction for any woman that doesn't reciprocate. It takes getting into relationship territory for me to actually develop any real feelings. I have a few female friends that I find very attractive, and I love them as friends, but I don't have romantic feelings towards any of them. There's certainly a lot of people that confuse infatuation and love.
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Posted 9/23/13

Richybabes wrote:


Latchan wrote:

Yowa29: Sorry, the "friend zone" isn't actually a thing. It's a term that some guys out there came up with to describe unrequited love. Because, really, that's what the "friend zone" is: unrequited love. The difference is that guys can slam girls with the "friend zone" while unrequited love is gender-blind.



Well, I think it is a thing. It's just a lot rarer than some guys would have you believe. I think there can be cases where people have been friends for so long, that even if they're attracted to each other + like each other as people, it'd be weird for them to be involved romantically (and I think this is more the case in the mindset of women than men). A lot of men, however, just use it to describe their relationship with any woman who isn't romantically interested in them.

Luckily for me, I don't feel anything other than physical attraction for any woman that doesn't reciprocate. It takes getting into relationship territory for me to actually develop any real feelings. I have a few female friends that I find very attractive, and I love them as friends, but I don't have romantic feelings towards any of them. There's certainly a lot of people that confuse infatuation and love.


I can accept that definition. It's very mild and I even understand where the two people in question would be coming from. I would say that you have very healthy opinions on what love and relationships are, so kudos to you, sir.
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Posted 9/23/13

Latchan wrote:


bogglehank wrote:

Also as a side note, I know many people who activity use and abuse eachothers feelings. It does exist and I see severe cases of it at least once every 3 months. The most recent (doesnt relate with friend zone) is when my brother worked out of town for 3 weeks and the whole time he was gone and even before he was gone his girlfriend was cheating on him with one of his best friends (ouch double betrayal). While she was cheating she frequently requested that he send her money for random expenses like immunization shots for their dog (which was a lie because the dog was never taken to the vet) and even upon his return home she waited till he paid the rent to let him know she is now dating his friend. Shes a horrible person who emotionally scarred my brother for a long time.


. . . OH MY GOD. What was wrong with her? Did she actually have a beating heart? I genuinely have never encountered people like that before in my life, much less begin to understand their emotional motives.



Probably not, we found out about her not buying the shots for their dog when he got a call that she asked for the dog to be put down and they needed his consent because it was partially his. All because she wanted a new apartment that didn't allow pets.. we found it a home instead. Stuff like that happens around here sometimes, I'm sure everywhere else gets it even if less common. Even I've been cheated on, but I could care less, if she wants to portray herself as a whore then she can go ahead while I find someone better. Lol
Definitely not a perfect world haha and now I notice I've lost track of time ranting... gotta wake up in 2 hours.. I hate monday...
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Posted 9/23/13
No matter what, he makes time for you
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Posted 9/23/13
The simplest way to know is to ask. the worst they can say is no. if you're friends, there is at least a chance that door is open. However this day and age you have to be cautious. manipulative people do exist. there is no universal answer to this question. love inst a one size fits all deal. if you think they are someone you would want to go down that path with then the easiest way is to just put it out there. Hiding meekly in the shadows hoping that love comes along and slaps you in the face doesn't occur all that often. you have to be willing to put your heart out there and take a few scars along the way. just ask them what they think, if the feeling isn't mutual then just move on, don't look at it as a defeat, but a taken opportunity.
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Posted 9/23/13 , edited 9/23/13

Oldthrashbar wrote:


purple_lotus wrote:

He'd bite his nails, look nervous, or turn tomato red when your with him. OR pretty much just make it obvious that he wants to be in your pants and be a persistent one in wanting to hangout with only you


Are you dating girls? You're describing female reactions. I radiate so much sexual energy all women think I like them. Sadly though, there isn't a human alive attractive enough to match my beauty and gain my true love.




YOU. Get out of here.

If that is you in your profile pic, you are 0/10. Only the lowest tier girls will think you're attractive. And if you're giving off any aura, it's the aura of a staunch pervert.

Maybe you were joking though?

Hhhhuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh, hope you were joking.
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24 / M / Atlanta, Georgia
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Posted 9/23/13 , edited 9/23/13
Wow, I did not realize what my somewhat sarcastic comment would turn this entire topic in to a debate on the terminology of the word "friend zone". Sorry if I made it some like I thought it was always entirely the woman's fault and that I was being male chauvinistic. I never once thought the term was meant to accuse women and always thought the term was gender neutral. In fact, in my person experience I have more women that were friend zoned than males.

I personally feel that the friend zone is an area where even if you found the other person in question as more than a friend that you would not act on it or if you did the person in question said "I would like to just be friends" or something a long those lines. My beast friend is a female who is physically attractive yet she told me that she would never view me as anything but a friend and I never once thought of her romantically which is where I would use the term "friend zone." Which could be said that we friend zoned each other. I never thought of it as a negative connotation of our relationship since she is someone that I can rely on with almost everything.

I guess I need to watch my sarcastic talk on the internet since it is hard to pick it up if it is not being heard out loud or overly obvious.
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Posted 9/23/13
Welllll, I can onleh speek for meh selffff.

These are the things I do/have done.

Look at her a lot.
Converse/talk to her.
Imply or just outright say that I think she's pretty.

If this dude is happy to be/when he's around you. Then he may like you.

But there is always the 'pretty/good looking' factor. It's pretty hit or miss for me. If I don't like her, then I just don't like her.
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Posted 9/23/13 , edited 9/23/13


Women have been rejected. There's a difference between rejection and being friend-zoned. I stereo-type males because I'm a male. I'm not attempting to stereo-type females that would be sexist of me...

Oh, if a guy is friend-zoned it's always the fault of the male. No exceptions, he can walk away.
Posted 9/23/13
Social interaction is a start, right? Like talking, that foreign thing that people do? /retreats back to illuminated computer screen in shadowed room/
Posted 9/23/13 , edited 9/23/13
If I really like you, I will be afraid of saying or doing something stupid that will make you like me less. So, I basically become stiff, obtuse, and boring. And you can't really tell, because I'm really good at hiding it, and I don't approach the women I'm attracted to neither. Well, that last part is not entirely true. Because I've approached one, this one time.

I was waiting for a friend of mine to show up at a bar, when the crowd faded with the background and all I could see was this one girl. And for reference, she looked a lot like this


I got a bit compulsive, and walked up to------ wait for it------ her friend. Because I noticed that her friend was somewhat an acquaintance of someone I knew. And I can't remember what it was I said exactly, it was so long ago, but I basically gave it to her straight-- that I was interested in her friend. After checking me out, from top to toe, she eventually asked me to strip naked for some reason (to see my tattoos maybe), which I did, and then I got her phone number. And I later met up with them at a party a few weeks later.
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