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What are your thoughts on wanting to be a parent and not wanting to be one?
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/5/13



You're right about it being their decision to do as they please.
Even though others will always disagree with that..............you do anything sense its their choice.
There are WAY too many children being born while there are some just waiting to be adopted.
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32 / F / Trost
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Posted 10/5/13
I don't want any kids! They are noisy, messy and expensive. Not to mention that I've seen my cousins have kids and their lives when downhill from there. Babysitters and daycare are a ripoff. Also, kids won't let you sleep and they always want something. I'd really rather have a pet. -___-
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/5/13

NonMaster wrote:

I don't want any kids! They are noisy, messy and expensive. Not to mention that I've seen my cousins have kids and their lives when downhill from there. Babysitters and daycare are a ripoff. Also, kids won't let you sleep and they always want something. I'd really rather have a pet. -___-


Or potatoes.....
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32 / F / Trost
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Posted 10/5/13

qualeshia3 wrote:


NonMaster wrote:

I don't want any kids! They are noisy, messy and expensive. Not to mention that I've seen my cousins have kids and their lives when downhill from there. Babysitters and daycare are a ripoff. Also, kids won't let you sleep and they always want something. I'd really rather have a pet. -___-


Or potatoes.....


You're not wrong lol
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/5/13

NonMaster wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


NonMaster wrote:

I don't want any kids! They are noisy, messy and expensive. Not to mention that I've seen my cousins have kids and their lives when downhill from there. Babysitters and daycare are a ripoff. Also, kids won't let you sleep and they always want something. I'd really rather have a pet. -___-


Or potatoes.....


You're not wrong lol



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39 / M / Las Vegas, NV
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Posted 10/5/13
I can't imagine a world where having a child is looked down upon. Sad place to live in. I waited till I was 35 to have my first one. What a gift. Couldn't ask for anything better in my life. I wonder if society has placed such a huge role on parents that has developed in this way. Or maybe the loss of family values in America is like a cancer even to our teens. If I could do it all over again. I would. I think Rin said it once in a episode of the anime Blue Exorcist better then me. It was something like this. Yukio said something like, "maybe it was a mistake we shouldn't have been born of our parents". And yet his twin brother said something like " It is a gift that we have parents",,," As parents are awesome!" Now my fellow anime lovers, something like that should inspire any anime lover for a mom and dad, as they had lost theirs. I think that was in the end of episode 25 after the credits run. But to think of having a child is bad. Well, may I ask a honest question. Weren't we all once children at one time? Did we not have a great time growing up as a child?
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39 / M / Las Vegas, NV
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Posted 10/5/13
A quick note too. Some of us have seen others who have had a child or 2. And seen their lives fall apart. And many will look to the children as the escape goat. I can tell you honestly, it is not the children that do this to them. Their problems run much deeper then that, less we all be naive in knowing what life is all about. A daily struggle we all strive for! I do too. There are many times of sadness, and depression. But our problems run much deeper then what our children can give us. And we know it! So look a little deeper into those who claim children our the problem. You might just see the real story lying underneath it all.
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55 / F / USA
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Posted 10/6/13
Do not want to be a parent.

There are almost 8 billion people on the planet.

Up until the 1930's, for the ENTIRE span of recorded human history, there were only - at any given time - 1 - 2 billion people on the planet. Through all the great civilizations the maximum was about 2 billion people.

Think about it - in less than the span of 100 years we have increased the population on this small planet over 6 times.

We don't NEED to make any great effort to produce any more people right now. We are NOT short of babies, kids, adults or seniors.

We need to learn to take care of the population we already have.
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35 / M / USA
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Posted 10/6/13 , edited 10/6/13
I would like to be a parent, but i think its important to have a good support group around you like parents friends that are parents that you can ask questions... if you wait until you have enough money you will never have one unless my accident.
What i fear about being a parent is that i would be overprotective and they might rebel against me. i feel if i had a daughter i would have a hard time accepting any males that came her way i would do background checks and if they were bad im not sure what i would do because im not a parent but if they hurt my daughter i would end up in jail for sure. so there is alot of fear of the what if.

I can see why it bothers you thinking about it... also being a girl most girls grow up dreaming of names of their kids and once they hit an age they feel that dream might be slipping away but they don't want to just settle for some asshole that will end up with you split up. I'm basing this all on male female couples not gays... nothing against them i was raised one way if you want a kid and you are a gay couple you can adopt or whatever, but that kid will have an extra set of huddles in life so i would move to an area that is more open in my home town you would be an outcast and everyone would talk about you and your kid would have 0 friends.

oh yea my opinion on abortion is if the woman was raped i think its fine, but in the end i think its up to the parents i don't feel anyone should tell them what to do i understand both sides. But, its not my right to be the judge.
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24 / F
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Posted 10/6/13
From a cost-benefit standpoint kids seem hella overrated. Giving birth sounds miserable and raising a baby sounds miserable... raising a teenager/college-aged person sounds hella expensive and nerve-wracking. Oh, but on the bright-side you get to have some nice emotional attachments to the kids, to the point where you would give your life for them... though that means all the more to worry about. What if they are drafted in a war or get cancer or something? You wouldn't say you wish you never had the kid, though you would be better off not having had them at that point.
I'm happy with my friends, anime, manga, family and my puppy; probably would be happy with a girlfriend. Sounds like a trap for people who can't acknowledge they're happy with their current situation, or for people who become bored with their current situation. People who are unhappy without kids really shouldn't even consider them, though, if you think about it reasonably.
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30 / Right behind you.
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Posted 10/6/13
Personally, i think kids are overrated and pain to deal with, they are expensive and incredibly expensive for the first 18-25 years of their lives. I have no interest what so ever in having one. Most of the women i have dated have had no interest in having children either and have been very forward with me from the beginning of our relationship with that fact.

Now I dont have a particular problem with people that want to have kids, the problem is that often having kids is romanticized. The amount of work that goes into being a GOOD parent is incredibly, i think a good chunk of the people that want to have kids are too enamored by the idea of having a baby and dont actually understand the emotional and physical cost and work that goes into taking care of a child. Which is why parents taking advantage of safe haven laws is not particularly rare. While having a kid is incredibly rewarding, the day to day the first few years have to be incredibly difficult, and will bring your patience to its limits.

Personally I believe deciding to have a child is equally as selfish as the decision not to have one, having a child is not altruistic. Now a days, more younger people have little to no interest in having children, specially couples from developed nations. I would say not wanting to have children is no longer looked down upon as it was 15 to 20 years ago. I remember when i was really young, it was weird to know adults that were unmarried and had no children. Now a days, as an adult myself, most people dont really associate a negative stigma with unmarried couples or couples that never have children.

I am guessing when you say:


qualeshia3 wrote:

1. Why does it seem easier to get an abortion rather than adopt?
(somewhat of a tricky question)



You are asking why it seems easier to get an abortion rather than putting your child up for adoption. I am not going to get into the whole moral implications, whether it is right or wrong, there is no point in getting into that discussion. From a strictly pragmatic view, being pregnant pretty much sucks 99% of the time. If you know you do not want the child, then there is no reason to have 40 miserable weeks to later give your child up for adoption.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/6/13

quikbeam wrote:

Personally, i think kids are overrated and pain to deal with, they are expensive and incredibly expensive for the first 18-25 years of their lives. I have no interest what so ever in having one. Most of the women i have dated have had no interest in having children either and have been very forward with me from the beginning of our relationship with that fact.

Now I dont have a particular problem with people that want to have kids, the problem is that often having kids is romanticized. The amount of work that goes into being a GOOD parent is incredibly, i think a good chunk of the people that want to have kids are too enamored by the idea of having a baby and dont actually understand the emotional and physical cost and work that goes into taking care of a child. Which is why parents taking advantage of safe haven laws is not particularly rare. While having a kid is incredibly rewarding, the day to day the first few years have to be incredibly difficult, and will bring your patience to its limits.

Personally I believe deciding to have a child is equally as selfish as the decision not to have one, having a child is not altruistic. Now a days, more younger people have little to no interest in having children, specially couples from developed nations. I would say not wanting to have children is no longer looked down upon as it was 15 to 20 years ago. I remember when i was really young, it was weird to know adults that were unmarried and had no children. Now a days, as an adult myself, most people dont really associate a negative stigma with unmarried couples or couples that never have children.

I am guessing when you say:


qualeshia3 wrote:

1. Why does it seem easier to get an abortion rather than adopt?
(somewhat of a tricky question)



You are asking why it seems easier to get an abortion rather than putting your child up for adoption. I am not going to get into the whole moral implications, whether it is right or wrong, there is no point in getting into that discussion. From a strictly pragmatic view, being pregnant pretty much sucks 99% of the time. If you know you do not want the child, then there is no reason to have 40 miserable weeks to later give your child up for adoption.





I really don't care how you answer this question. Explain it all in great detail on how you feel about it.














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30 / Right behind you.
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Posted 10/6/13

AkuRay wrote:

A quick note too. Some of us have seen others who have had a child or 2. And seen their lives fall apart. And many will look to the children as the escape goat. I can tell you honestly, it is not the children that do this to them. Their problems run much deeper then that, less we all be naive in knowing what life is all about. A daily struggle we all strive for! I do too. There are many times of sadness, and depression. But our problems run much deeper then what our children can give us. And we know it! So look a little deeper into those who claim children our the problem. You might just see the real story lying underneath it all.


Ill agree with this, you cant blame a child for breaking up a relationship any more you can blame a puppy. The only people to blame are the parents and their decisions. Their inability to actually get to know themselves and their loved one before making a commitment to have a child.


AkuRay wrote:

I can't imagine a world where having a child is looked down upon. Sad place to live in. I waited till I was 35 to have my first one. What a gift. Couldn't ask for anything better in my life. I wonder if society has placed such a huge role on parents that has developed in this way. Or maybe the loss of family values in America is like a cancer even to our teens. If I could do it all over again. I would. I think Rin said it once in a episode of the anime Blue Exorcist better then me. It was something like this. Yukio said something like, "maybe it was a mistake we shouldn't have been born of our parents". And yet his twin brother said something like " It is a gift that we have parents",,," As parents are awesome!" Now my fellow anime lovers, something like that should inspire any anime lover for a mom and dad, as they had lost theirs. I think that was in the end of episode 25 after the credits run. But to think of having a child is bad. Well, may I ask a honest question. Weren't we all once children at one time? Did we not have a great time growing up as a child?


People in developed countries have had a gradual loss in interest when it comes to having children. It has nothing to do with "American family values" From a strictly pragmatic point of view, there are no benefits to having children. There are emotional benefits, but those cant really be quantified. I love my parents, i have amazing parent and grandparents, and we have a great relationship. I still talk to my grandparents regularly even though they live overseas. And i see my parents a couple of time a week usually. We eat together and what not. They are a big part of my life, even as an independent adult. Having a great family in no way makes me want to have children.

Having a child is not good or bad, to me that is an overly simplistic way of looking at the issue of having a child, it simply is. Like everything else in the world it has its positive and negative aspects. Having a child is probably incredibly rewarding, there will be very happy times and incredibly memories. At the same time the emotional, physical and economic toll is huge. There will be a lot of sorrow due to your emotional attachment to your child and the responsibility.

I dont think anyone is saying that having a child is a bad thing, they are simply saying that having a child is not something they want out of their lives. Also, i fail to see how everyone being a child at one time correlates to being a parent. If i never have a child, the child never exists, therefore the "happiness" of the theoretical child is irrelevant.
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39 / M / Las Vegas, NV
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Posted 10/6/13
Don't make this overly complicated for the younger readers. It is one thing I try to emphasize in my speeches tp youth groups. In fact if you read the comments, they clearly state from many members about having a child may be bad to them. Please review those posts, or I can post them in quotes. I think CNN's report last year sum'd it up better. "Willy Loman's story makes clear, family values are as much about economics as culture.....Today, we're living with economic problems that have a direct correlation on our ability to nurture strong families." and their values. And the crumbling of societies with those new values. With that said. it is no wonder we as Americans don't carry what our parents carried. We just don't seem to pass on the major points our parents had. All would agree with me on that just through experiences they have had alone. Myself included. With me and my own 3 little ones. I hope to carry on those values as much as possible in a world that puts so much pressure on even teenagers. Would you not agree with that?
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39 / M / Las Vegas, NV
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Posted 10/6/13 , edited 10/6/13
Some good reading easily found online too.

http://voices.yahoo.com/america-losing-its-moral-values-1505717.html?cat=7

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/may/22/poll-most-americans-think-us-lost-moral-compass/

http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/01/11/dolly-parton-america-has-lost-its-morals-principals-and-values-needs-to-find/

http://www.debate.org/opinions/are-our-societys-values-deteriorating



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