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Is it better to have an idealistic relationship or a realistic one?
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Posted 10/6/13
i·de·al
īˈdē(ə)l/
adjective
adjective: ideal

1.
satisfying one's conception of what is perfect; most suitable.
"the swimming pool is ideal for a quick dip"
synonyms: perfect, best possible, consummate, supreme, excellent, flawless, faultless, exemplary, classic, model, ultimate, quintessential, picture-perfect More
"ideal flying weather"
antonyms: bad
2.
existing only in the imagination; desirable or perfect but not likely to become a reality.
"in an ideal world, we might have made a different decision"
synonyms: unattainable, unachievable, impracticable, chimerical; More
unreal, fictitious, hypothetical, theoretical, ivory-towered, imaginary, illusory, idealized, idyllic, visionary, utopian, fairy-tale
"an ideal world"
antonyms: attainable, real
representing an abstract or hypothetical optimum.
"mathematical modeling can determine theoretically ideal conditions"
synonyms: abstract, theoretical, conceptual, notional; More
hypothetical, speculative, conjectural, suppositional
"an ideal concept"
antonyms: concrete

noun
noun: ideal; plural noun: ideals

1.
a person or thing regarded as perfect.
"you're my ideal of how a man should be"
synonyms: perfection, paragon, epitome, shining example, ne plus ultra, nonpareil, dream More
"no woman could be the ideal he imagined for himself"
a standard of perfection; a principle to be aimed at.
"tolerance and freedom, the liberal ideals"
synonyms: model, pattern, exemplar, standard, example, paradigm, archetype, prototype; More
yardstick, lodestar
"an ideal to aim at"
principle, standard, value, belief, conviction, persuasion;
morals, morality, ethics, ideology, creed
"a liberal ideal"

Origin
More
late Middle English (as a term in Platonic philosophy, in the sense ‘existing as an archetype’): from late Latin idealis , from Latin idea (see idea).
Copy/pasted from google

Considering something ideal to be the best possible outcome, An ideal relationship could never be worse than a realistic one. Granted, odds are overwhelmingly good you'll end up in a realistic relationship, which is worse than an ideal relationship, and if you wait you could end up with nothing, but ideals are always better than reality.
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Posted 10/6/13 , edited 10/6/13
Depends on your definition of ideal and what you demand from your potential love-interest.
The most people mistake oxytocin flush for love. Mother nature put many nastly little programs in our subconsciousness that try to ensure biological reproduction.. just following these programs and there will be no problem to find your "love".

As soon as the cerebral cortex gets involved the things get exorbitant complicated. It all burns down to the question of how much unwanted peculiarities of the other over the ideal image you have formed in your mind would you accept. Thats the reason why many relationships break up after the oxytocin flush evaporates.

And their is another common problem. Even if you are able to stand the issues the other party has in your opinion; are you doing that for yourself or for the other? Its not the same if you do something because you "love" the other or if you yourself also have fun in that. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
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Posted 10/6/13
Keep it Realistic. Idealism is just that, a mixture of certain ideals that is in the person's opinion to make up a perfect world. Perfection doesn't exist in our world, and it's best to keep things to ground level or you'll be let down many times. Now, Ideals and dreams are good to have. Everyone has them. But staying down to earth is key to succeeding in life.


Bonus - I'll share my thoughts. I think some people don't do well in relationships due to rushing, no honesty, or interest. Relationships revolve around honesty, and not being honest with your partner only leads to hardship. Rushing into marriage is also a big reason. My parents dated for a whopping 4 years, and have been married for 30+ years. Now, this is probably longer than most people date, but when I hear of people that date for only a couple of months, I get worried. That's not alot of time to make sure that is really the person you want to spend the rest of you LIFE with. Now, onto the next.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Religious things aside, I think it solidifies a relationship in the highest form, and I think there is a great point to being married. It marks you with a partner that will be there for you all your life, and makes you feel special. That's my take on it.
But this is a great thread, and I'd love to see other comments here as well.
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Posted 10/19/13

Xevran01 wrote:

Keep it Realistic. Idealism is just that, a mixture of certain ideals that is in the person's opinion to make up a perfect world. Perfection doesn't exist in our world, and it's best to keep things to ground level or you'll be let down many times. Now, Ideals and dreams are good to have. Everyone has them. But staying down to earth is key to succeeding in life.


Bonus - I'll share my thoughts. I think some people don't do well in relationships due to rushing, no honesty, or interest. Relationships revolve around honesty, and not being honest with your partner only leads to hardship. Rushing into marriage is also a big reason. My parents dated for a whopping 4 years, and have been married for 30+ years. Now, this is probably longer than most people date, but when I hear of people that date for only a couple of months, I get worried. That's not alot of time to make sure that is really the person you want to spend the rest of you LIFE with. Now, onto the next.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. Religious things aside, I think it solidifies a relationship in the highest form, and I think there is a great point to being married. It marks you with a partner that will be there for you all your life, and makes you feel special. That's my take on it.
But this is a great thread, and I'd love to see other comments here as well.



Thanks.
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Posted 10/19/13
Definitely realistic. Obviously realism isn't all sunshine and roses, like idealism. Realism involves emotions such as anger and sadness in the relationship as well as happiness, but expressing your true feelings to each other will progress the relationship through understanding and (like the person above) honesty. If you upset your partner or your partner upsets you and feelings are buried on the issue, it's just gonna cause resentment which may continue to build up and hurt the relationship. It's okay to fight. It's okay to be upset. As long as the issues get resolved and not brushed off. But if you're not willing to open up to your partner or they don't let you, then maybe you should rethink your choice to date them.

Huge paragraph there. :'D
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Posted 10/19/13 , edited 10/19/13


I guess you can be both idealistic and realistic about relationships but being a little more realistic makes much more sense.
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Posted 10/19/13
I suppose realistic, but the only reason I would consider idealistic is because I'm deathly afraid of arguments. I hate it so much and I try to avoid it, but when I can't I can't stop and it screws up everything..




Bonus questions:
Why do you think some people are unlucky when it comes to finding love unlike others?

A: I honestly think a lot of it depends on personality. And yes, looks. But (trying not to sound conceited) I consider myself above average (Don't know how to put it without sounding like an asshole) and I come off as a tsundere to people I don't think I'd like. Which is most people. Yet I have a friend who is really nice and not afraid to throw herself around guys, and she's successful.

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Posted 10/19/13 , edited 10/19/13


HOLY SHIT!!! I'M LIKE THAT AS WELL WHEN IT COMES TO ARGUMENTS!!! EVEN SIMPLE DEBATES MAKES ME A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE!!!
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Posted 10/19/13

qualeshia3 wrote:



HOLY SHIT!!! I'M LIKE THAT AS WELL WHEN IT COMES TO ARGUMENTS!!! EVEN SIMPLE DEBATES MAKES ME A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE!!!


Haha, exactly ^^ That's why I veer away from people who are fiery.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/19/13



I'M NOT ALONE!!!
Even though I was never alone to begin with.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 10/19/13
Ideally, an idealistic relationship is ideal.
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Posted 10/20/13

Sir_jamesalot wrote:

Ideally, an idealistic relationship is ideal.


Ummm.....
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Posted 10/21/13
Realistic with a hope for idealism. Nothing's perfect, but that doesn't mean you should stop at mediocrity and accept it as fate. There should always be something you can improve upon in a relationship, I think, because relationship are dynamic things. They don't stay the same. So, you should aim for whatever your 'ideal' is, just as long as you realize that you will probably never get there. It's an ongoing process of bettering yourself and the relationship.

Some people aren't good with relationships for many reasons. Some can't take the commitment. Others have high expectations and can't accept that they may never be met, or that it takes possibly years of work to get there. They cannot adapt to the dynamic nature of a relationship, where things are always changing, constantly. They can't adapt to the other person. They don't want to. Or they're just extremely unlucky and always pick people who are inadaptable and end up leaving them.

I like the idea of marriage, personally. I pretty much agree with Xevran01 on this question. It's comforting knowing that someone will always be there for you (in theory, at least). But, institutionalized marriage like we have in the US is a bit off-putting. There's a lot of stress. A lot of legalities. It really mucks the whole thing up. Not that I'm really for purely religious marriage, either, since I'm not a religious person myself. I just like the ceremony and the solidification of a bond between two people. That's a beautiful thing in any form. I don't know if I'll ever get married, myself, but I'd like to find someone I can spend the rest of my life with, legal/religious bonding or no. I'll make my own ceremony, dammit.
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Posted 10/21/13
Is it better to have an idealistic relationship or a realistic one?
it is better to have a realistic one. Idealistic relationships are ones that you think you want (good luck trying to find that kind of relationship). Sometimes the type person that you are in to isn't the one that is realistic for you. I was a band geek all my life and I kept thinking that I need to date a band guy also. That didn't work out, ended up dating a football player and we've been together for a year and a half now (mind you i'm referring what we use to do back in HS, currently out of school).

Why do you think some people are unlucky when it comes to finding love unlike others?
because sometimes that person is so set on finding someone that is their ideal person when they aren't compatible with them! it's kind of sad trying to tell someone that you have to start basing relationships on personalities instead of looks (currently trying to tell that to a dear friend of mine who keeps dating scene girls straight out of high school and he is 24 years old), for sometimes you have to date someone that is also the same maturity as you.

How do you feel about the thought of wanting to get married(Do you see in point in getting married)?
Most girls have thought of getting married, but then again who doesn't? It's part of life really, I'm not married yet but I recently went to my sister's wedding. People asked me when I'm going to get married but I tell them maybe 5 years from now, depends on me and my bf stand from now til then. It's a serious commitment, but some people get married then get a divorce because they realized that they weren't really into that person, and they repeat the process over and over again...My personal thoughts on marriage? As in me getting married? Sure, but not anytime soon since I'm not yet mentally ready nor financially ready. I still have things I want to do, and I have to do some serious soul searching before I am positive that I want to marry that person. Plus live with them for a year or two to make sure that I can stand seeing them and cleaning up after them everyday.
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Posted 10/23/13
Realistic ones, but a bit of idealism wouldn't hurt.
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