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Post Reply I got a question for the women out there
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21 / M / Ohio
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Posted 21 days ago
It's all about timing. You live and you learn. Cliches have done a really good job of trying to understand love. Everyone has their personal preferences. Confidence is key.

All helpful advice but it doesn't actually help you. And you KNOW all this stuff because it's been told to you numerous times before.

I understand the temptation to "become a bad boy" but you're not doing anyone any favors with that weak threat. And that's really what it is, a threat. You're threatening to stop providing people with the part of yourself that makes you likable as a friend in exchange for something you want which is intimacy. You is a general term, you never explicitly said this, but as a nerdy guy who didn't develop social skills--arguable still havent--until my late teens I understand where you are coming from.

I used to be that guy. I still am that guy, but I learned a thing or two--or more like thousands. If you wanted more personal stories feel free to message me. But, I will say this, we're all constantly trying to figure out what we want and who we are, in every stage of life. High school years is the furnace of our romantic and intimate desires, you can't strike while it's too hot or you could damage the foundational integrity. It's an art, so it really is all about timing, and being awkward makes it a lot harder to understand romantic timing.

Honestly focus on creating the best version of yourself and you'll find your dating options expanding. Don't fret on crushes or waste your time trying to provide a product of yourself someone else will like. You'll save yourself heartbreaks by learning about yourself and refining your skill sets. That's true confidence right there, valuing yourself enough to make something--anything--out of yourself. The more self-worth you give yourself by real understanding of your life experiences, strengths and weaknesses the more interesting you will be to others. Remember they are going through life in a similar process, and if you can both grow from being with eachother that is the root of a relationship. It will turn intimate if you begin to learn how to trust eachother and explore one anothers sexual desires and identity.

Right now you are not seen as that guy because you're too focused on creating youself for the sake of others. Be a little selfish, find out who you are and continue to discover who you are and before you know it someone on a similar walk of life will cross your path exactly at the point you both needed to grow from someone else in their life.
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19 / M / California
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Posted 21 days ago
I think theres a problem with the mindset "What do women want" rather than, "What does this individual want". Women and humans. Men are humans. Humans are individuals. There isnt a gold standard that every woman in the world is attracted to, the same way that you probably disagree with at least one of the many billion people on our planet about what makes someone attractive.

It's on a case by case basis.
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M / Where you are.
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Posted 21 days ago
Google is your best friend man
ShayEm 
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13 / F / California
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Posted 21 days ago
Be yourself, unless you're a douche, don't be a douche.
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17 / M / In my head.
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Posted 20 days ago
I'm a nice guy. I treat others with the kindness and respect they deserve (and if they don't deserve it, I don't give it to them). Especially the ladies. I'm still in school, so the girls I see are usually at school. They know I'm "that one smart kid" so they come to me for help (both genders). Of course, I don't refuse unless I have a reason to (i.e. there's a difference between helping someone and cheating).

So that's the type of person I am. I've nearly been into a relationship twice, and I say nearly because I backed off when I found who they are: manipulative, inconsiderate and selfish (I'd love to elaborate to let out some anger upon remembering these two, but for the sake of keeping the forums PG-13 I won't). There have been others that caught my eye, but they didn't even look my direction.

It's really tricky for me. I'm a nice guy because that's who I am -- yet the crowd I draw in seeks only to manipulate me, and while I'm still brushing these people off me, I see the girl jump into some douche's car and go to god (or lack thereof) knows where.

Why does this happen? I see Facebook posts from girls saying they're waiting for the right guy, one that's kind and respectful -- then they go out with Douche A, kiss Douche B, and party with Douche C, D, E, F, and G. I understand the "I'll date A so B will be jealous and start chasing me then I'll break up with A for B" concept, but for people like me that simply doesn't work. It's a sign of a *insert derogatory term here* to me.

---

I love psychology. And with my current knowledge of it, here's my theory.

They say you want things. They say you want things you don't have. They say you lust after things you can't. Since douches aren't kind (in case no one noticed), they'll act as if one can't get them. Otherwise known as the hard-to-get act. Since people of both genders share this syndrome, they want the person they can't get. And eventually they get it, in a trance because they've been trying so hard. Fill in the rest. Correct me if I'm wrong. I'd love feedback so I can change my critical view on humanity.

---

Appendix:
I had a thought while I was writing this. My lack of acceptance may have made me gravitate towards anime and games. I mean, if I were to have a girlfriend (and a lady at that, not some random one down the street), I'd gladly give up anime and games. I'd quit my career as a hikikomori.

Ayukawa Tenri is my waifu.
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21 / M / California
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Posted 20 days ago , edited 20 days ago

* I'm not a girl but I'd like to answer this question.

Q) What do women find lame about guys?
Lame stuff.

Q) What do you women consider a turn off?
Things that you do and get the reaction below.



Q) Why do women use their friend-zone ability on you?
The superpower known as friend-zoning, is very effective in halting the pursuit of perverts and ugly people as well as people you don't want to hurt but care about. Many reasons activate this ability. Best way to know why is ask the user of the ancient magic.

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