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Why is there such discrimination towards people that never dated?
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32 / M / United States
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Posted 10/7/13

qualeshia3 wrote:

Let's be realistic about this because not everyone on this planet can find love in a second. If you want someone to love, that person needs to love you back. Half of the people on this planet are picky and cruel towards others. To think that everyone can fall in love so simple is a lie. They are those people out there who will love you if you please their picky needs. Not every person will ever get the chance to find love AND sex in life, it's not okay to treat them so harshly. Finding love and getting laid is difficult for some people to do. I'm getting fed up with people treating people that never dated nor had sex like they're weird people. Society doesn't make things while putting the thought that, if you aren't dating and having sex, you're a nobody that should be shunned away. Sorry about this rant but I hate seeing people that never dated nor had sex get treated unfairly. I never had a special someone that I can love and that person loves me back. In order to have sex with that said person, I need to know that I'm loved truly. It would hurt me deeply, if I had sex with some person that I loved, yet get no love in return. Cut people some slack when they're not successful in searching for love. Leave the people who choose to remain single and happy alone too, it's their choice.

Let me know a thread similar to this one exist.


Bullying is bad. Bullying is counter human. You do what you want and express your heart and loins as you wish. With consent and in a non harmful way, and frankly I wouldn't give two flips what you do, and how you do it, especially when it involves you or your time show.
Posted 10/7/13
The problem lies in the fact that people cannot mind their own business, and the world is always trying to make you into something you're not, or do not want to be.

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Posted 10/7/13 , edited 10/7/13
Perhaps it's that the only people I hang out with are decent human beings, but I've not heard this in any significant quantities, although I can understand it a bit. If you're going sailing, then you're going to want experienced and skilled sailors along with you. Likewise, if you're hunting for chicks, you're going to want experienced and skilled chick-hunters (make the appropriate substitutions if you're looking for dudes). Makes sense to me. I mean, at your age (and mine, obviously) social events are largely designed for mingling with potential partners (sex, relationship, or otherwise). And if you're planning an event of that nature, then naturally you're going to want to leave out the people that have no interest in taking part in those events. If that's what you mean by shunned, then yeah, it makes sense that people that haven't shown interest in dating would be shunned from dating activities. If that's bothersome, then ditch those events and make better ones. There's nothing wrong with discrimination. I actively discriminate from my circle:

People that make out on public benches.
People that think of ignorance as an enjoyable pastime.
People that bore me.
People that yell at waiters for minor reasons.
Pedophiles.
Rapists.
Mass-murdering dictators.
And Many More!!

I can see why they would shun you. It's not necessarily that they think you're a bad person, but that they think you're a bad person for them to hang out with. If you have no interest in the things they have an interest in, why would they hang out with you? -- you're boring. However, if you hang out with people that do have the same interests, then you're not boring. In fact, you may very well be an absolute pleasure to interact with.

In short, there's discrimination against people that are inexperienced daters because there's discrimination against people that are inexperienced at anything. You don't apply for an engineering job and complain that they're discriminating against people that don't know calculus -- it's their job to be discriminatory against those people. Likewise then, there's no room to complain when people that want to get laid don't want to employ someone that is an inexperienced lay -- you're not the right person for the job, and they're going to look elsewhere. Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

Other than that, I'd agree with you. I've no interest in dating, so I don't. The things I have an interest in are things like reading, anime, fun, and being an independent person. Being that dating (even part-time) would cut into most of those pleasures (particularly the last one in my experience), I don't typically pursue it. (To be fair, I'm also studying advanced bad-assery, but I think of that more as my duty to humanity than as an interest) The few relationships I have been in weren't from my initiative, were cool while they lasted, but were nothing I've yet to want to put much effort into. Likewise, I go ahead and dismiss myself from groups of people that do that sort of thing full-time (although part-timers are still very much in my circle of friends).
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Posted 10/7/13

qualeshia3 wrote:

They are those people out there who will love you if you please their picky needs.
....
I need to know that I'm loved truly.

You are one of those people.

Stop thinking about what you get in return. Just let yourself love someone else. That's how love works. You just throw your love at someone. Often it might feel like you're throwing it away, but since it's a one-way-vector in the first place -- love can't be wasted.

If the object of your affection happens to love you back while you're busy loving all over them, that's when people talk of such a relationship as being one of "true-love." It gets described as romantic and magical with comets flying through the sky over double-rainbows while unicorns dance on lakes which only ripple to the sound of your hearts beating in perfect rhythm. If not, it's just a regular relationship like the majority of all relationships on this green earth.

Get what you can out of life, get what you can out of your lovers, love and youth are naturally unsustainable. This shouldn't be seen as depressing, it should be seen as an exhilarating truth, you're on a roller coaster ride. Enjoy it while you're on it, because when it slows down, they make you get off and stand in line for an hour, and each subsequent ride, though equally fast and bumpy, can't possibly be as thrilling because you already know all the twists and turns.

Ground yourself in the present moment, drop your guard and allow life to hit you with everything it has, full force. It's not like you were going to survive it anyway. Might as well see what it can do.
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Posted 10/7/13 , edited 10/7/13



I see what you did there far as the discrimination part.

I never dated nor made love to anyone at all. I just wanted to know what others had to think on this whether they heard of it or not. Never was I bullied for it even some people like me would hate to see others teased for being single and a virgin. I want to focus on taking care of myself first before I date anyone because I refuse to go searching for love when I'm not fully prepared for it.

I made this thread for everyone this isn't all that much of a personal issue.

I agree with you as well.






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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/7/13



Thank you.

Can I at least get myself together before then?


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35 / M / Nottingham, Engla...
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Posted 10/7/13
When you get to my age you will have developed depression or similar if you are still single as I have.
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17 / M / Location
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Posted 10/7/13 , edited 10/7/13
I'm a bit to much an idiot to post a sophisticated response to any of you educated individuals
So I'll leave this short:
My opinion on the subject is about the same as most of the first posts, and more power to you!
This thread also hits a bit close to home since I was severely bullied through exclusion as a kid (7-11) so I was always, and sometimes still am, thought as the weird/gross/creepy kid. So having never been in a relationship on top of all the other crap doesn't help, however, I don't really tell anyone I haven't been in a relationship unless they are close, at the risk of being excluded.
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Posted 10/7/13
"Because people form ideological standards and if you follow them your considered normal and if you don't, your a deviant and treated as such." - Mycow8me

23 years old deviant, never dated and still a virgin

Been made fun of and called gay by both women and men.

GM: God

I wanna reroll !!
My stats got eff'd up
Shy stat, too high / confidence too low...
WTB > Stat reset
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27 / M
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Posted 10/7/13
I think the problem is that people feel that it is an accomplishment, not merely something that happens or doesn't. People don't see it like catching a cold, in that it just happens and you deal with it. It seems to be viewed similarly to getting a good grade or finding a job or acquiring a skill. This is why there is pressure to date and find love (plus instinctive need), particularly for males, since guys are supposed to go out there and grab what they want to show their manliness. It is seen as an accomplishment and, as we all know, we are pushed to accomplish and compete and become better than other people.

People who believe they are on top will look down on people they believe to be below them. It's the same with everything else, not just love or work or talent.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/7/13

pandrasb wrote:

"Because people form ideological standards and if you follow them your considered normal and if you don't, your a deviant and treated as such."

23 years old deviant, never dated and still a virgin

Been made fun of and called gay by both women and men.

GM: God

I wanna reroll !!
My stats got eff'd up
Shy stat, too high / confidence too low...
WTB > Stat reset



I'm sorry. Are you quoting on one of the post?!

I find the gif cute.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/7/13

pandrasb wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:



I'm sorry. Are you quoting on one of the post?!

I find the gif cute. :sweatingbullets:


Oops for got to add who, Mycow8me



Oh I see.


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27 / F
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Posted 10/7/13

pandrasb wrote:

"Because people form ideological standards and if you follow them your considered normal and if you don't, your a deviant and treated as such." - Mycow8me

23 years old deviant, never dated and still a virgin

Been made fun of and called gay by both women and men.

GM: God

I wanna reroll !!
My stats got eff'd up
Shy stat, too high / confidence too low...
WTB > Stat reset


I'm in the same boat you are.

#foreveralone

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Posted 10/7/13

Selenae wrote:


pandrasb wrote:

"Because people form ideological standards and if you follow them your considered normal and if you don't, your a deviant and treated as such." - Mycow8me

23 years old deviant, never dated and still a virgin

Been made fun of and called gay by both women and men.

GM: God

I wanna reroll !!
My stats got eff'd up
Shy stat, too high / confidence too low...
WTB > Stat reset


I'm in the same boat you are.

#foreveralone



I can't say I recommend getting with someone for no good reason over staying single and free.
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Posted 10/7/13 , edited 10/7/13
Because if you haven't dated, especially if you're a female, by a certain unspecified age (let's say 18), there's likely something severely wrong with you.

Guys can have an excuse if they're shy, as they are expected to ask girls out; and if you are a shy guy you're probably screwed. Girls don't really have an excuse unless you're absolutely repulsive.

That being said, there are some situations in being earnest where it becomes a moral obligation to express one's opinion, and this would be one of those instances: but 3DPD. Normals please go. Seriously, why hasn't this thread been deleted yet? OP should feel thoroughly ashamed of his/her self.

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