Sacred Cow Barbeque (yes there are spoilers)
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23 / M / California
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Posted 10/12/13 , edited 10/12/13
We all have a favorite anime, and we could go on and on about how good ours is. That's not what we're doing here though. The challenge is to write a horrid review on your favorite anime. Be as negative and cynical as humanly possible about it because nothing says love like a good roast.


Attack on Titan is another anime in some fictional medieval time, staring, you guessed it, a bunch of teenagers. Oh wait, but there's a twist in the plot. These teenagers have to go out of their way to kill a bunch of big stupid naked people who have been eating humans up until a hundred years ago because they conveniently managed to erect three giant walls that are 50 meters high, and God knows how long. About five minutes into the show however, "scorboard!" the big stupid naked people have a guy on their side big enough to drop kick the gate- the one glaring weakness that no one felt like addressing for the passed century! Then out of nowhere the only titan of the bunch who thought to put on clothes smashes through another gate in the same day. Lots of people die, but conveniently, a couple of bratty kids survive all the chaos, and end up as soldiers hopping around on belts that shoot grapple hooks. These people have grapple belts, and they couldn't find a way to make a freaking door titan proof, or maybe have prior knowledge of titans getting that big. He's fifty freakin meters tall people. I don't think something that big could hide forever! Then there are the bratty kids' friends or fellow soldiers who tag along despite what they wanted. There's Armin, the typical wimp, Jean the stoic badass, and some food moe girl who likes potatoes, but she won't catch on, but if you want to watch some medieval anime that follows a bunch of kids killing big stupid naked people from steam- powered grapply hooks, watch Attack on Titan.
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22 / M / Manitoba
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Posted 10/12/13
Love the idea for this one really makes you think deeply about your anime. I tried to make my review really about my issue with first episode its too painful to rip the entire series also would take like 6 pages but I digress.

My review will be on Clannad and Clannad After Story will contain spoilers I mean its a review like seriously

Set in a high school with a male protagonist (seriously like this hasn't been done a million times by now) meets a girl that is on her way to school like she couldn't climb the hill by herself yet she can walk behind someone up it yep so far so good and we find out she was held back a year and now has no friends because they have all graduated. We go through a variety of girls how all like this guy Tomoya who is a troublemaker, isn't in any clubs, and doesn't try ya makes sense girls would be all over him. So the girl Tomoya meet Nagisa who wants to rebuild the drama which was disbanded after everyone graduated. All they need is five members which some how is impossible to find three more so they end up having to get friends their friends to bond together seriously no one from the school came by even one to see it when the club was holding plays last year and was active. Also at the beginning of the anime we have this two minute video of another world of a girl by herself and a robot and the girl doesn't say anything between the nothing that happens in the world which even is said in the show and all we have is thoughts of robot we really don't see much of this world and it has ZERO plot until almost the end not this season but the next season of After Story so you watch season one and got to waste an hour of your life unless you complete the entire series nice planning there guys.
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37 / M
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Posted 10/12/13
In the words of a wise man, sacred cows make the best hamburger...

Slayers TV: a bunch of AD&D munchkins team up to get more loot. The show constantly shifts from Gokudo-esque comedy to Berserk-esque seriousness. The heroes include a mage who fails to destroy the world, a Luke Skywalker wannabe, a brooding guy who hates being nearly invulnerable, and a parody of moe girls written years before moe was a thing.

Rurouni Kenshin: a seemingly young adult has to fight a bunch of X-Men rejects, but still makes efforts to avoid killing. He works alongside a girl who beats him up, a guy with a useless BFS, a failed thief, and occasionally a policeman who doesn't make efforts to avoid killing. His best opponents are a mummy with health problems and a troubled in-law. (The last third of the TV series and the animated movie spinoff are just plain bad.)
15294 cr points
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Posted 10/12/13
reserved.

I'm going to think for a while about this and cook up a good one.
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17 / F / Hinamizawa
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Posted 10/12/13 , edited 10/13/13
Sword Art Online. Oh my god. *facepalm* It's so bad. I don't know where to start.
Characters: I thought I would like Asuna, because she looked like she could be pretty badass. And she was. Until she got closer to Kirito and gradually became completely wimpy and useless and needed him to drag her pathetic ass everywhere. She becomes a cliched typical useless female protagonist that relies on the male protagonist to do shit. And Kirito. It's like they want to rub it in our faces how well he attracts eight-year-old girls. What were the point of the other girls anyway? Was it solely to slap us in the face with "Kirito is a sexy chick-magnet badass" every few episodes?

Plot: Interesting, but they pretty much shat on it's potential. There are supposed to be hundred levels with boss battles on each one. You pretty much see like, five of them. The pacing is SHIT. All of a sudden, he time-jumps to the fiftieth floor and is one of the top players. And maybe it's because I didn't watch the very end of episode one, but in the second episode he suddenly joins a guild. A completely pointless guild just to squeeze out a sad moment at the end. Which wasn't all that sad. The action sequences and music are amazing, but you don't see as many action scenes as you would want to.

Second Season: Surprise! Kirito and Asuna are stuck in another game, now with sexy elf ladies that wear costumes that clearly cannot contain their gigantic breasts. And Asuna is stuck in a cage and is frequently visited by some dreadfully un-intimidating creepy, perverted elf guy. What was the point? so Kirito could save her weak ass? And why the hell is there a developing love relationship between him and his sister/cousin/big-boobed elf lady? WHY? And there's a tentacle scene. Need I say more? The only reason this survived a second season is because all the sheeple wanted to join the freakin bandwagon.

Final Verdict: An over-hyped anime that contains shitty characters, shit pacing, and a shit second season. Honestly, if it ended with the first season the show wouldn't have been that bad. I feel terrible that this show is receiving a dub and getting featured on Toonami or whatever.
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22 / M / Manitoba
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Posted 10/13/13

Kubrah wrote:

{spoiler] Sword Art Online. Oh my god. *facepalm* It's so bad. I don't know where to start.
Characters: I thought I would like Asuna, because she looked like she could be pretty badass. And she was. Until she got closer to Kirito and gradually became completely wimpy and useless and needed him to drag her pathetic ass everywhere. She becomes a cliched typical useless female protagonist that relies on the male protagonist to do shit. And Kirito. It's like they want to rub it in our faces how well he attracts eight-year-old girls. What were the point of the other girls anyway? Was it solely to slap us in the face with "Kirito is a sexy chick-magnet badass" every few episodes.

Plot: Interesting, but they pretty much shat on it's potential. There are supposed to be hundred levels with boss battles on each one. You pretty see like, five of them. The pacing is SHIT. All of a sudden, he time-jumps to the fiftieth floor and is one of the top players. And maybe it;s because I didn't watch the very end of episode one, but in the second episode he suddenly joins a guild. A completely pointless guild just to squeeze out a sad moment at the end. Which wasn't all that sad. The action sequences and music are so good, but you don't see as many action scenes as you would want to.

Second Season: I dropped this on around the fifth episode. Surprise! Kirito and Asuna are stuck in another game, now with sexy elf ladies that wear costumes that clearly cannot contain their gigantic breasts. And Asuna is stuck in a cage and is frequently visited by some dreadfully un-intimidating creepy, perverted elf guy. What was the point? so Kirito could save her weak ass? And why the hell is there a developing love relationship between him and his sister/cousin/big-boobed elf lady? WHY? And there's a tentacle scene. Need I say more? The only reason this survived a second season is because all the sheeple wanted to join the freakin bandwagon.

Final Verdict: An over-hyped anime that contains shitty characters, shit pacing, and a shit second season. Honestly, if it ended with the first season the show wouldn't have been that bad. I feel terrible that this show is receiving a dub and getting featured on Toonami or whatever.


This is supposed to be what you view as the best anime not one you dislike.

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17 / F / Hinamizawa
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Posted 10/13/13

Pixywing wrote:


Kubrah wrote:

{spoiler] Sword Art Online. Oh my god. *facepalm* It's so bad. I don't know where to start.
Characters: I thought I would like Asuna, because she looked like she could be pretty badass. And she was. Until she got closer to Kirito and gradually became completely wimpy and useless and needed him to drag her pathetic ass everywhere. She becomes a cliched typical useless female protagonist that relies on the male protagonist to do shit. And Kirito. It's like they want to rub it in our faces how well he attracts eight-year-old girls. What were the point of the other girls anyway? Was it solely to slap us in the face with "Kirito is a sexy chick-magnet badass" every few episodes.

Plot: Interesting, but they pretty much shat on it's potential. There are supposed to be hundred levels with boss battles on each one. You pretty see like, five of them. The pacing is SHIT. All of a sudden, he time-jumps to the fiftieth floor and is one of the top players. And maybe it;s because I didn't watch the very end of episode one, but in the second episode he suddenly joins a guild. A completely pointless guild just to squeeze out a sad moment at the end. Which wasn't all that sad. The action sequences and music are so good, but you don't see as many action scenes as you would want to.

Second Season: I dropped this on around the fifth episode. Surprise! Kirito and Asuna are stuck in another game, now with sexy elf ladies that wear costumes that clearly cannot contain their gigantic breasts. And Asuna is stuck in a cage and is frequently visited by some dreadfully un-intimidating creepy, perverted elf guy. What was the point? so Kirito could save her weak ass? And why the hell is there a developing love relationship between him and his sister/cousin/big-boobed elf lady? WHY? And there's a tentacle scene. Need I say more? The only reason this survived a second season is because all the sheeple wanted to join the freakin bandwagon.

Final Verdict: An over-hyped anime that contains shitty characters, shit pacing, and a shit second season. Honestly, if it ended with the first season the show wouldn't have been that bad. I feel terrible that this show is receiving a dub and getting featured on Toonami or whatever.


This is supposed to be what you view as the best anime not one you dislike.



I know :-)
10361 cr points
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23 / M / California
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Posted 10/13/13

Kubrah wrote:


Pixywing wrote:


Kubrah wrote:

{spoiler] Sword Art Online. Oh my god. *facepalm* It's so bad. I don't know where to start.
Characters: I thought I would like Asuna, because she looked like she could be pretty badass. And she was. Until she got closer to Kirito and gradually became completely wimpy and useless and needed him to drag her pathetic ass everywhere. She becomes a cliched typical useless female protagonist that relies on the male protagonist to do shit. And Kirito. It's like they want to rub it in our faces how well he attracts eight-year-old girls. What were the point of the other girls anyway? Was it solely to slap us in the face with "Kirito is a sexy chick-magnet badass" every few episodes.

Plot: Interesting, but they pretty much shat on it's potential. There are supposed to be hundred levels with boss battles on each one. You pretty see like, five of them. The pacing is SHIT. All of a sudden, he time-jumps to the fiftieth floor and is one of the top players. And maybe it;s because I didn't watch the very end of episode one, but in the second episode he suddenly joins a guild. A completely pointless guild just to squeeze out a sad moment at the end. Which wasn't all that sad. The action sequences and music are so good, but you don't see as many action scenes as you would want to.

Second Season: I dropped this on around the fifth episode. Surprise! Kirito and Asuna are stuck in another game, now with sexy elf ladies that wear costumes that clearly cannot contain their gigantic breasts. And Asuna is stuck in a cage and is frequently visited by some dreadfully un-intimidating creepy, perverted elf guy. What was the point? so Kirito could save her weak ass? And why the hell is there a developing love relationship between him and his sister/cousin/big-boobed elf lady? WHY? And there's a tentacle scene. Need I say more? The only reason this survived a second season is because all the sheeple wanted to join the freakin bandwagon.

Final Verdict: An over-hyped anime that contains shitty characters, shit pacing, and a shit second season. Honestly, if it ended with the first season the show wouldn't have been that bad. I feel terrible that this show is receiving a dub and getting featured on Toonami or whatever.


This is supposed to be what you view as the best anime not one you dislike.



I know :-)


Looks like she did her job to me.
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