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Why is sex seen as indecent?
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22 / F / Winding Circle
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Posted 2/15/14
I honestly don't think it has that much to do with religion.

Like someone said, I don't think it should be a spectator sport. It makes me uncomfortable and uneasy knowing that much about someone's life if I find out about it. Yes, I was raised Catholic... but that has nothing to do with it (considering my own mother is encouraging me to go out and do stuff like that...). It's just who I am. I'm uncomfortable with it, and it took me ages to even get anywhere near comfortable with reading about anything further than kissing in fanfiction. Still don't like reading smut and will skim it if I love the rest of the story generally.

Some schools don't do enough education. I can see that. I don't like the generalization that ALL schools don't do good enough sex education. I'm not sure how old someone should be to learn the full details, but what I learned in 4th-6th grade (so about 10-12 years old) was enough to leave it a mystery but give an idea that it has something to do with puberty being naked and stuff like that. And I was content to leave it that way. That was from puberty talks we had at that time. I had a general health course in 7th grade, but it didn't cover that.

In 9th grade though we had a health class. It had a whole unit on reproduction, going into detail about consequences and everything else. It didn't hide anything from us. And by the way, that was actually a Catholic school. Of course it did try to enforce the idea of no sex before marriage but that was more of a maturity and being ready for the consequences of having sex since protection isn't 100%. I'd like to mention here that I should not exist since my mom was on birth control.

What I was trying to say there was that I don't think it's necessarily a lack of education or communication. *makes face* Honestly I see more sex references and innuendos and all that than I'm comfortable with on primetime tv sometimes. Even if it's important to plot and all that... I still have troubles. *shrugs* I'm just a very modest person usually.

In my case it has nothing to do with jealousy. At all. I just don't like knowing private business. Because that's what I think sex is, private business.

You don't have people saying stuff about 'oh you're pregnant, that's wonderful, how was the sex?' Of course there is that stigma when a girl who isn't married gets pregnant and even then it's not necessarily open.

...okay I no longer know what I'm trying to say but I'm going to post this anyways.
cosham 
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49 / M / Sussex UK
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Posted 2/16/14
Personally I think it is down to historic, social and religious attitudes. Most religions have always seen sex as something that should only happen between couples that are married, and then only for the purpose of reproduction. This is of course never really been the case.
though this is still a factor in some peoples mindset. For myself, what happens between consenting adults is no concern of mine.
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22 / M / A dark room
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Posted 4/5/14
Honestly, this taboo has religion/politics (they're pretty much the same) written all over it. While sex can have severe consequences, censorship is *never* an acceptable answer; whether it be sex, profanity, politically dissenting opinions, or instructions for performing illegal activities, the best solution is always to discuss it openly and intelligently. Still with marriage being a religious/governmental institution I believe the origins of the taboo to be religious in nature. After all the church/state are really only after the power and money that accompany a traditional marriage, so by making all other forms taboo they force individuals to either break the taboo or buckle under social pressures and grant these entities a virtual monopoly on sex, and sex sells!

That said I think that commitment and protection are *extremely* important. A condom costs like $0.50 and 30 seconds, a kid costs like $500,000 and 20 years of your life! And in the event the protection fails, at least like the person you're going to be stuck with for the next 20 years.

That said, given the earths limited carrying capacity and exponential population growth, a stigma on procreation makes perfect sense.
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Posted 4/6/14

Pixywing wrote:

The way I was told was that if a key can open many locks its considered a good key or called a "master key"
A lock that can be opened by many keys is just called a shitty lock.

But getting on the issue with how sex is viewed in society. I think it may hold so much value as that it is the creation of life and that should be kept to be important because maybe that devaluing sex devalues the human life that is created and thus we are devaluing ourselves as well. Also it could create another social issue is sex is deemed as something causal due to generating unwanted child birth.


Yeah, except a vagina isn't a lock and a penis isn't a key and the only way they're related is that in both cases one goes into the other. Having sex with a lot of people doesn't make you a great locksmith, nor does it make you a shitty lock. People aren’t objects, they are individuals with freewill, desires, wants, and needs. By reducing human beings who are sexual to sexual objects, you’re insulting and degrading all people. It's a shitty analogy. I don't know if you were trying to condone it, and if you weren't, then my apologies. But really, think about it.
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31 / F / Millersville, Mar...
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Posted 4/6/14
Personally I feel sex is considered indecent because of media.

Sure there are Religious and Social undertones but it really boils down to media. In this day and age, media has the ability to go to both extremes. You have younger generations openly accepting sex and sexuality which leads to ads aimed at them in an overly sexual nature but you still have your older generations who are more conservative in their own right in which you have the anti-sexualized ads (unless they are aiming at those going through Midlife Crisis.)

However, at the same time, the more accepting we are of sexualization the more it hinders us.
A Prime example of this is Slut Shaming and Rape Culture, as well as Breast-Feeding (Boobs are food first but since females breasts are over sexualized it's deemed inappropriate to feed your child in public.)

A large chunk of this is western culture as well. European and African countries are far more accepting of nudity and sex.

Personally, I think sex isn't an issue. There is a time and a place (however, I'm very easily swayed with that as well). I love attending fetish conventions. It's a hobby and I openly talk about sexual things. It's how I am (odd considering I grew up in a staunch Roman Catholic household).
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22 / F / Winding Circle
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Posted 4/6/14

ElectricRainbow wrote:


Pixywing wrote:

The way I was told was that if a key can open many locks its considered a good key or called a "master key"
A lock that can be opened by many keys is just called a shitty lock.

But getting on the issue with how sex is viewed in society. I think it may hold so much value as that it is the creation of life and that should be kept to be important because maybe that devaluing sex devalues the human life that is created and thus we are devaluing ourselves as well. Also it could create another social issue is sex is deemed as something causal due to generating unwanted child birth.


Yeah, except a vagina isn't a lock and a penis isn't a key and the only way they're related is that in both cases one goes into the other. Having sex with a lot of people doesn't make you a great locksmith, nor does it make you a shitty lock. People aren’t objects, they are individuals with freewill, desires, wants, and needs. By reducing human beings who are sexual to sexual objects, you’re insulting and degrading all people. It's a shitty analogy. I don't know if you were trying to condone it, and if you weren't, then my apologies. But really, think about it.


I think what the person meant was that any guy that has sex with a lot of women, they're considered a stud but if a woman had sex with a bunch of guys, they're a slut. So with the guys, it's good, but the women bad. I don't see it as objectifying people, it's just another way of putting things.

I don't see sex as indecent itself. I also don't think religion is the root of most of that belief either. Maybe it isn't helping but I doubt religion is why kids go "Ew" or "Yuck" when they see their parents simply kiss and the kid is about 2-4 years old. To a child's way of thinking, sex is indecent, it's not until puberty that they start understanding usually. It took me years after of reading fanfiction before I stopped freaking out every time I came across a scene that was more explicit than making out. I was about 14 or 15 before that happened, and I don't believe it was because of my religion either, I just never wanted to read about that. I still don't really like reading about it but it no longer makes me totally uncomfortable either.

Why? Because sex is something that should be kept private, not to be bragged or gossiped about. I don't want my sex life aired to my family and my boyfriend wouldn't want that either. It's something that happens behind closed doors or when no one is home. Everyone is different, but frankly I wouldn't want to read about my sex life in the tabloids, it's my business, not anyone else's. Which is why I don't want to hear or see it in fanfiction (where I can at least bare it because it's fiction) or in real life. It's their business not mine, and I don't want to know details.
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Posted 4/6/14

Ouzoathena11 wrote:


ElectricRainbow wrote:


Pixywing wrote:

The way I was told was that if a key can open many locks its considered a good key or called a "master key"
A lock that can be opened by many keys is just called a shitty lock.

But getting on the issue with how sex is viewed in society. I think it may hold so much value as that it is the creation of life and that should be kept to be important because maybe that devaluing sex devalues the human life that is created and thus we are devaluing ourselves as well. Also it could create another social issue is sex is deemed as something causal due to generating unwanted child birth.


Yeah, except a vagina isn't a lock and a penis isn't a key and the only way they're related is that in both cases one goes into the other. Having sex with a lot of people doesn't make you a great locksmith, nor does it make you a shitty lock. People aren’t objects, they are individuals with freewill, desires, wants, and needs. By reducing human beings who are sexual to sexual objects, you’re insulting and degrading all people. It's a shitty analogy. I don't know if you were trying to condone it, and if you weren't, then my apologies. But really, think about it.


I think what the person meant was that any guy that has sex with a lot of women, they're considered a stud but if a woman had sex with a bunch of guys, they're a slut. So with the guys, it's good, but the women bad. I don't see it as objectifying people, it's just another way of putting things.

I don't see sex as indecent itself. I also don't think religion is the root of most of that belief either. Maybe it isn't helping but I doubt religion is why kids go "Ew" or "Yuck" when they see their parents simply kiss and the kid is about 2-4 years old. To a child's way of thinking, sex is indecent, it's not until puberty that they start understanding usually. It took me years after of reading fanfiction before I stopped freaking out every time I came across a scene that was more explicit than making out. I was about 14 or 15 before that happened, and I don't believe it was because of my religion either, I just never wanted to read about that. I still don't really like reading about it but it no longer makes me totally uncomfortable either.

Why? Because sex is something that should be kept private, not to be bragged or gossiped about. I don't want my sex life aired to my family and my boyfriend wouldn't want that either. It's something that happens behind closed doors or when no one is home. Everyone is different, but frankly I wouldn't want to read about my sex life in the tabloids, it's my business, not anyone else's. Which is why I don't want to hear or see it in fanfiction (where I can at least bare it because it's fiction) or in real life. It's their business not mine, and I don't want to know details.


I know exactly what he was saying, and I was calling it out as bullshit because that's what it is.
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Posted 4/8/14 , edited 4/8/14
i believe sex is something you do with someone you trust, its something that you do with someone that is willing to spend the rest of their lives with you and sex is something you do to portray your love and trust to that someone. now sex is not openly talked about because its obviously a privet matter, and in some cases called 'indecent' because many people abuse it like going around and fucking for money. to me thats just disgusting even if its for free man its just sick. however i can see some of your points saying that we need to 'reproduce' but take a look outside, our "species" is one of the largest and smartest species in the world. and going around and reproducing like my generation and many others are doing is unnecessary.

sex is something you do with that special someone, not to "reproduce" like animals.
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26 / M / Pandemonium
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Posted 4/9/14

michaeldeska wrote:

i believe sex is something you do with someone you trust, its something that you do with someone that is willing to spend the rest of their lives with you and sex is something you do to portray your love and trust to that someone. now sex is not openly talked about because its obviously a privet matter, and in some cases called 'indecent' because many people abuse it like going around and fucking for money. to me thats just disgusting even if its for free man its just sick. however i can see some of your points saying that we need to 'reproduce' but take a look outside, our "species" is one of the largest and smartest species in the world. and going around and reproducing like my generation and many others are doing is unnecessary.

sex is something you do with that special someone, not to "reproduce" like animals.


So you are in favor of contraception, then?
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Posted 4/9/14
Because before modern science, it was impossible to absolutely know who the father was. The uterus is like a mystery box that only ladies are in control of, and men (running everything else) found this extremely disturbing. So obviously the best way to control mystery uterus lady parts is to restrict sex. That way men could feel more secure about their offspring and women got... Well, lets just say feminism is great and long overdue. But yeah, sex had to become indecent to maintain the patriarchy. If there had been a paternity test in ancient times, we'd have a whole different ball-game.
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Posted 4/10/14

Syndicaidramon wrote:


michaeldeska wrote:

i believe sex is something you do with someone you trust, its something that you do with someone that is willing to spend the rest of their lives with you and sex is something you do to portray your love and trust to that someone. now sex is not openly talked about because its obviously a privet matter, and in some cases called 'indecent' because many people abuse it like going around and fucking for money. to me thats just disgusting even if its for free man its just sick. however i can see some of your points saying that we need to 'reproduce' but take a look outside, our "species" is one of the largest and smartest species in the world. and going around and reproducing like my generation and many others are doing is unnecessary.

sex is something you do with that special someone, not to "reproduce" like animals.


So you are in favor of contraception, then?


im not sure what that means
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26 / M / Pandemonium
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Posted 4/10/14

michaeldeska wrote:


Syndicaidramon wrote:


michaeldeska wrote:

i believe sex is something you do with someone you trust, its something that you do with someone that is willing to spend the rest of their lives with you and sex is something you do to portray your love and trust to that someone. now sex is not openly talked about because its obviously a privet matter, and in some cases called 'indecent' because many people abuse it like going around and fucking for money. to me thats just disgusting even if its for free man its just sick. however i can see some of your points saying that we need to 'reproduce' but take a look outside, our "species" is one of the largest and smartest species in the world. and going around and reproducing like my generation and many others are doing is unnecessary.

sex is something you do with that special someone, not to "reproduce" like animals.


So you are in favor of contraception, then?


im not sure what that means


You know... condoms and stuff.
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Posted 4/10/14

Syndicaidramon wrote:


michaeldeska wrote:


Syndicaidramon wrote:


michaeldeska wrote:

i believe sex is something you do with someone you trust, its something that you do with someone that is willing to spend the rest of their lives with you and sex is something you do to portray your love and trust to that someone. now sex is not openly talked about because its obviously a privet matter, and in some cases called 'indecent' because many people abuse it like going around and fucking for money. to me thats just disgusting even if its for free man its just sick. however i can see some of your points saying that we need to 'reproduce' but take a look outside, our "species" is one of the largest and smartest species in the world. and going around and reproducing like my generation and many others are doing is unnecessary.

sex is something you do with that special someone, not to "reproduce" like animals.


So you are in favor of contraception, then?


im not sure what that means


You know... condoms and stuff.


well i would if they were more reliable but they dont work as well as they advertize. the best way to do it is have the female keep an eye on her menstrual (did i spell that right?) cycle, and its during the cycle you have sex, er something like that.
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Posted 4/10/14 , edited 4/10/14

michaeldeska wrote:



well i would if they were more reliable but they dont work as well as they advertize. the best way to do it is have the female keep an eye on her menstrual (did i spell that right?) cycle, and its during the cycle you have sex, er something like that.


You seem to think that condoms have low rates in effectiveness. Why?
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Posted 4/10/14

Syndicaidramon wrote:


michaeldeska wrote:



well i would if they were more reliable but they dont work as well as they advertize. the best way to do it is have the female keep an eye on her menstrual (did i spell that right?) cycle, and its during the cycle you have sex, er something like that.


You seem to think that condoms have low rates in effectiveness. Why?

they do work at times but shit happens, i have seen couples ruined because they practiced "safe sex" but ended up haveing a baby any way. i havent needed to use them.
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