First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
Feeling Like a Third Wheel?
Posted 11/16/13
OP take part in replies this is all my love for you
4698 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / all around the wo...
Offline
Posted 11/17/13
meh, i only feel like that sometimes,not just because 2 of my close friends have significant others but also because 2 of them hang out alot and talk about it like everyone was there. i ignore the feeling though and zone out making bored comments when needed
34282 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
34 / M
Offline
Posted 11/17/13
To paraphrase Konata from Lucky Star, don't worry, there's a need for third wheels.

After all, a tricycle without a third wheel is a disaster waiting to happen.
Or a bicycle.
But a bicycle with a third wheel is also a disaster waiting to happen.
Ok, now I'm confusing myself.

I guess what I'm saying is, some people like bicycles and some people like tricycles, it doesn't mean one is wrong and the other right.
They both have their good points and bad points. Maybe you can go faster and look cooler on a bicycle, but you can relax and take it easy with the tricycle.

And just like you can't add a third wheel to a bicycle and have it work properly, or remove the third wheel from a tricycle and have it work properly, one can't just add/remove people from relationships without having some impact. The third wheel does have a role to play in a relationship, and when it's not there amongst a group a friends used to the third wheel, people notice.
40276 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
36 / M / Germany
Offline
Posted 11/17/13 , edited 11/17/13
not their fault for making you feel bad? Makes me laugh!
Go have some fun alone and dont rely on others ("friends" or a partner) to make you feel good, its your life anyway...

EDIT:
the guy above me is right - depends on your feeling hanging around with them. I experienced that some couples appreciate the fresh wind of a 3rd person because its sometimes boring being together with only your partner....
2743 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M / United States
Offline
Posted 11/20/13
All of my friends are in relationships, and no matter who I converse with, I will almost inevitably be that 'third wheel'. They attempt to reassure me that I'm fine where I am, but honestly, that's just the pity talking.

. . .

I need friends that are worse off than I am, if that's even possible.
Posted 11/20/13
I'm twenty-five and single since high school. Friends should never make you feel like the third wheel - they never made me feel bad about it when I hung out with the happy couples. The way I deal with it?

I dunno. The few couple friends I had never made out when I was in the room or anything. I never thought it was weird. If 4 of your friends and you hang out at an amusement park I'm sure you would be having fun with your friends rather than feeling out of place. Chin up - I'm sure your friends love you and want you to be part of their lives. You have to see it in a positive perspective. They wouldn't be rubbing it in your face or anything to make you feel down.
33341 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M / Socal
Online
Posted 11/20/13 , edited 11/20/13
The way I deal with being the third wheel, leave. Like they give a crap if I'm there or not.
I don't have many friends currently so whatever.


ahatestory wrote:

To paraphrase Konata from Lucky Star, don't worry, there's a need for third wheels.

After all, a tricycle without a third wheel is a disaster waiting to happen.
Or a bicycle.
But a bicycle with a third wheel is also a disaster waiting to happen.
Ok, now I'm confusing myself.

I guess what I'm saying is, some people like bicycles and some people like tricycles, it doesn't mean one is wrong and the other right.
They both have their good points and bad points. Maybe you can go faster and look cooler on a bicycle, but you can relax and take it easy with the tricycle.

And just like you can't add a third wheel to a bicycle and have it work properly, or remove the third wheel from a tricycle and have it work properly, one can't just add/remove people from relationships without having some impact. The third wheel does have a role to play in a relationship, and when it's not there amongst a group a friends used to the third wheel, people notice.


Best analogy ever

now let's add a unicycle, really throw em' off
51202 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / Changing
Offline
Posted 11/21/13
It's not a pleasant situation, I do admit.
To reminisce, I was out and about with my friend and his girlfriend. And I ended up holding hands with his girlfriend. Now, things just kinda happened and my friend and I talked it out later because when his girlfriend went grab his arse mine hand was already there. Naturally, we told her to back off.
Posted 11/21/13 , edited 11/21/13
I'm too absorbed in my own thoughts to notice.
20471 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / Pinellas Park, FL
Online
Posted 11/21/13
When that happens I say one thing that always makes it abundantly clear.

'This is boring.'

It'll either get things moving in your favor or it's the point where you go and find your own fun.

To those who think it's awkward, think again. If they want to exclude you from an activity, whether they joined you or you were invited, then it's their loss and you can go and make merry on your own.
116 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / The Landmass
Offline
Posted 11/21/13
Well, almost none of my friends are in relationships, so i'm fairly lucky there, but I often still end up being the third wheel!
10361 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M / California
Offline
Posted 11/21/13 , edited 11/23/13
When you say you're a third wheel, don't look at it as a bad thing. You are the spare tire that keeps the couple from falling flat. You provide incredible stability by hanging out at the rear, yet clumsy like a newborn stag in the front. You may feel lonely without a fourth wheel to hold you up when you're low on PSI, but stay inflated. Without your support the couple is useless. Without the couple, you are not. You can roll on your own until you find the next social vehicle to operate. The next time you feel like a third wheel don't see your lot in life as useless, annoying doughnut that makes things worse.


Instead, remember that you're awesome. You make things work. You are the back wheel of a Goddamn T-rex!


Now get back out there and roar!
34282 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
34 / M
Offline
Posted 11/21/13


I just pretend the people in front of me are my security detail. It kind of works out like that, too, since otherwise I'd end up moving out of the way of everyone traveling the opposite direction.
34282 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
34 / M
Offline
Posted 11/21/13


It's not going to be easy to make a unicycle fit in. I say that because the analogies were about relationships and number of people, not because unicycles are weird! Ok, who am I kidding, unicycles are weird.

I guess unicycles are the black sheep of the cycle family. They're weird and everyone knows it, and few people have what it takes to go anywhere with a unicycle. If you can, though, the unicycle can make any journey more exciting and interesting than a bicycle or tricycle could ever hope to do. So unicycles are the weird loners... the Haruhi Suzumiyas of the world.

Did I just invoke Haruhi Suzumiya in plural? There's a scary thought. But it brings up the point that you can't, for instance, take two unicycles and turn them into a bicycle, or take three and make a tricycle. You also can't add a unicycle to a bicycle to get a tricycle, or turn a tricycle into a unicycle and bicycle. And certainly, if you try to make a pair of unicycles out of a bicycle, you'll just end up with a broken bicycle and no unicycle at all, which is rather a shame, because if you think you can do that, you really do deserve a unicycle.

I suppose one might take from this that those weird loners are usually weird loners for a reason, and it isn't easy to integrate them into an existing network of friends - there's bound to be someone that doesn't enjoy the unicycle. Likewise, it is likely easier to remove them from a network of friends without making everything fall apart. Of course, everyone will know something is missing; those unicycles stand out.
Posted 11/21/13
I do not lump myself in that title, so I say no. You could just voice how you feel to your friends about what they do bothers you, that makes logical sense to me to do that. I hardly hang out with acquaintances anyway, so I never felt I was tagging along with other people who may forget I am there. If that happens, I will either leave or talk to them and request to do something everyone will be involved in.

To me, a real friend would not do that regardless if they are in a relationship. Do not ask someone to hang out with you if you give most of your attention to who you are dating.
First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.