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Would you stay in a relationship with someone who changed their sex?
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22 / M / San Antonio, TX,...
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Posted 11/28/13
I would have to think about it, I really would. But, I wouldn't be harsh at least.
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33 / Germany
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Posted 11/28/13

Chopsuey9444 wrote:

Let's say you meet this significant other who you love and really rocks your world, except surprise surprise, they were formerly a man/woman. Would you still want to remain with that person, or would you leave?


You met your significant other like that and you fell in love with him/her like that.
Knowing about a person's transsexuality doesn't change a thing besides you knowing about it.
If you think this changes everything, I'd actually question your affection and say you don't really love that person.
You love a person because of his/her qualities, not because of trivial details like former gender.

Sure, it's quite shocking (or at least surprising) to most people, but if you truly love that person, you'll accept it.
Some people feel betrayed when they hear about it, but that's just unfair because situations like these aren't easy for anybody.
So you have to deal with this now. How terrible. The other person has to deal with it every single time s/he meets another person.
Other people fear they might be gay if they went along with it which I, as a bisexual, consider stupid because love is love either way.

Just open up and listen to your feelings.
If you loved that person before knowing about it, you're also able to love him/her just as much afterwards.
I mean, look at his/her smile and think of the things you did together. If you don't feel any warmth, then it's probably best to part ways.

If it wasn't obvious, no, I don't mind.
I'd remain with that person because, in my opinion, there's no reason for me to leave him/her.
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M / Holland
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Posted 11/28/13
I´d have to be in that situation to properly answer that, cuz now, I can´t.
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20 / M / Australia
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Posted 11/28/13
I'm going to have to say no.... I would wash my mouth out with bleach
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23 / M / Šumeru.
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Posted 11/28/13

Exusia83 wrote:


Chopsuey9444 wrote:

Let's say you meet this significant other who you love and really rocks your world, except surprise surprise, they were formerly a man/woman. Would you still want to remain with that person, or would you leave?


You met your significant other like that and you fell in love with him/her like that.
Knowing about a person's transsexuality doesn't change a thing besides you knowing about it.
If you think this changes everything, I'd actually question your affection and say you don't really love that person.
You love a person because of his/her qualities, not because of trivial details like former gender.

Sure, it's quite shocking (or at least surprising) to most people, but if you truly love that person, you'll accept it.
Some people feel betrayed when they hear about it, but that's just unfair because situations like these aren't easy for anybody.
So you have to deal with this now. How terrible. The other person has to deal with it every single time s/he meets another person.
Other people fear they might be gay if they went along with it which I, as a bisexual, consider stupid because love is love either way.

Just open up and listen to your feelings.
If you loved that person before knowing about it, you're also able to love him/her just as much afterwards.
I mean, look at his/her smile and think of the things you did together. If you don't feel any warmth, then it's probably best to part ways.

If it wasn't obvious, no, I don't mind.
I'd remain with that person because, in my opinion, there's no reason for me to leave him/her.


Judgemental post, much? No one cares about your sexuality. Not sure why you even mentioned it or why you're making a big deal about being bisexual.

People are raised differently, you can't except everyone to be as "openminded" as you are. Why should you feel pity for someone who has had their gender changed, but has blatantly lied the person they're with by not telling them about something so huge?

You might wanna hate less on people who can't deal with certain things the way you can, since you're apparently a very narrowminded person.

Love isn't as childish and easy as you make it sound either.
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25 / F / Connecticut
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Posted 11/28/13 , edited 11/28/13
First and foremost, the title of the topic is downright incorrect. Sexual Orientation does not equal SEX/GENDER IDENTITY. For the purposes of this question, we are talking about Sex and Gender Identity, not sexual orientation. These three matters aren't linked in any fashion.


Shukuzen wrote:

I'm quite sure I'll never end up in that situation, so I do not know how I would react.

The biggest problem would most likely be the lack of ability to reproduce, since most couples tend to want children. It's an interesting subject, though.


It could very well happen to you. Not all transsexuals can be read to be such at first glance, if at all. This is due to the fact that sexual development is a spectrum, not a binary, and people can develop in ways (either naturally, through the influence of hormones, or thru surgery and such) that are much more feminine or masculine than their birth sex.

Anyway, I AM a transsexual (MTF) myself and I'm not dating or focusing on dating at the present time, mainly because I'm not comfortable with doing that at the present time. However, the modus operandi I've gone by for some time is to tell anyone I intend to have a close friendship with the intricacies of my situation. People never guess I am transsexual at first glance, I always have to tell them.

There are others though who prefer to go stealth and never tell people. Naturally it makes sense in some cases, like when you're dealing with people you know are going to be total buttholes about your personal situation as a transsexual for business. But I feel people who don't tell others they intend to be close with just ain't doing the right thing. Being transsexual is part of a transsexual's identity, I personally cannot completely disassociate myself from my previous years when I was stucking playing a male, it just isn't possible. Those years are a part of me. If you can't share that with someone, than imho, you have a more serious problem.


-MINO- wrote:

Whoa hold up did i just get into a relationship 1st full of lies!!?? did this person straight up date me to later tell me they had a sex change? cus if they did i gotta let u go i dont like a relationship starting on lies .

but either way i would still be like No sorry. theirs alot of problems with this medical wise and i mean like what up if u want a family?!...... but doesnt mean i wouldnt mind being friends.


Regarding the reproductive issues, my mom actually forced me to freeze sperm before I started, and many young MTFs do that today as well. Technically, I could therefore have biological children in a lesbian relationship--weird if you think about it. Not sure if I'd ever want to do that anyway considering the reprocussions (biologically fathering a kid as a woman? errr....)

FTMs on the other hand can have kids without even freezing eggs, ever hear of Thomas Beatie? lol.

Oh and as for my answer to the question--I probably wouldn't think much of it, ofc.
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23 / M / Šumeru.
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Posted 11/28/13 , edited 11/28/13
Yeah, I'm not vellwersed on the subject. I just see the reproducing part as the biggest obstacle for it, but as you said preserving eggs/sperm before going through with it, is always a way. And well, not all couples would want to do it the way Thomas Beatie did, I'm sure.

I was referring to not knowing that the person I like, has been a different gender. I would not be with someone I do not have extensive knowledge about. Therefore, it's quite unlikely that I will be in such a situation.
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27 / M / Austin, TX
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Posted 11/28/13
No, I wouldn't.
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24 / M / SoCal
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Posted 11/28/13
Nope. I wont lie, it would freak me out a little. The reason why I say absolutely not though is because thats something I would like to know beforehand, and if you hid it from me then there are probably going to be trust issues. Then again even if I knew about it before hand I highly doubt I would pursued a relationship with them.
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22 / M / Livingston, Louis...
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Posted 11/28/13
No. I am one of the most open-minded individuals on the planet, but this is one of the few things I can't stand.

I hold honesty on a high pedestal. I almost never lie(I'm not Abe Lincoln, but I am as close as possible in this day in age), and one of my biggest deal breakers in a relationship is lying. It's at the top of my list, followed by cheating, lackluster sex, and less traits and interests in common.

I expect honesty when I get involved with my potential future lover, and this kind of thing is not tolerated by me. Yes I could get past it, although sexually it might take me some time, but when nothing is brought up, it's sprung on me suddenly, or I'm lied to about it, that's where the deal is off. Also, I HATE surprises, so this scenario has too many holes in it to possibly be redeemed.
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22 / M
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Posted 11/28/13
Like if I found out my GF used to be a man? Yeah I would.

Now if she changes into MAN DURING the relationship, then heck no.
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21 / F / Arizona, US
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Posted 11/28/13
I think you meant sex/gender not sexual orientation. I'm not sure how I would feel, because I never been in that sort of situation. If I was though, I would want to know at least before I dated them. I wouldn't want to know later on, because I would feel a little hurt for being tricked.
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23 / Rainbow Factory
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Posted 11/28/13 , edited 11/28/13
I was originally going to say no because you can't just change your sexual orientation. (The only "exception" to that is bisexuality) But now that I know what you're asking for I can give a better answer.

Yes I would stay. I fell in love with the person for who they are when I met them. The fact that they were born male or born female has no real bearing on who they are now. If they're happier being a female instead of a male or the other way around all I can do is support them. I can understand their fear of being rejected for undergoing the sex change but I'm not that much of an asshole to just immediately cut myself off from them for something like that. With that being said it would majorly change the relationship itself once it was made known. I would have so many questions that they might get annoyed at me for being so bloody curious.

I've seen another thread about this floating around in here a few times.
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21 / M / On the Court
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Posted 11/28/13
Nope.
Rohzek 
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26 / M
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Posted 11/28/13

Chopsuey9444 wrote:


Rohzek wrote:

Ima go ahead and be a dick and just be honest. I respect a lot of things. But when someone starts messing with their junk like that, I view them as just as crazy as someone who wishes to cut off their own arm. I literally consider those kinds of people as insane. So if I was in that situation, I would break up with them instantly without a second thought. Then I would proceed to beat myself up on the inside for being deceived.


I understand your perspective, but what if it was a "I was born in the wrong body" type of situation?


It wouldn't make a difference to me. Still crazy in my book.

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