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Would you stay in a relationship with someone who changed their sex?
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22 / M / USA
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Posted 11/28/13
it's not sexual orientation, they physically modified their body and gender
their sex is biologically the same
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25 / F / Connecticut
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Posted 11/28/13 , edited 11/28/13

Tetris_Chemist wrote:

it's not sexual orientation, they physically modified their body and gender
their sex is biologically the same


Genotypical sex is the same after medical/physical transition, phenotypical sex is not. In terms of our everyday reality, phenotype (the expressed traits, rather than the genes themselves) is the only thing that matters.

Those are two different things. Also bear in mind that XX males and XY females at birth do in fact exist. So there is a strong correlation between genetics and birth sex but there are exceptions.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XX_male_syndrome
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/XY_Female

Don't judge the genes for everything :P.
Posted 11/29/13
It would be nice if HE told me before the relationship starts that he was born a female.


I would like to believe I am an open-minded person, so yes I would continue to date the person if he can attract me with his personality and actions. Sometimes a person can be funny, but they're not caring, so that's a no-no for me.
I need someone to be caring and attentive of me. I need a lot of attention from a significant other. I'm a naturally needy person.



I'm at a point in my life where I don't think sex really matters to me anymore. It's about having the right company and someone to talk to for me. That's what "love" means to me. And what being in a committed relationship means to me.
Posted 11/29/13

Shukuzen wrote:

You might wanna hate less on people who can't deal with certain things the way you can, since you're apparently a very narrowminded person.

Love isn't as childish and easy as you make it sound either.


Ooh snap
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44 / M / WA
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Posted 11/29/13 , edited 11/29/13
There was a guy on a Jerry Springer show who said he slept with a transvestite ...but didn't know "he" wasn't a woman - the reaction of Springer and the audience was hilarious. Never could stand more than 5 minutes of that show at a time.
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Posted 11/29/13 , edited 11/29/13
If I'd been dating someone for a significant length of time and hadn't even noticed they used to be the opposite gender, then... what difference does it make? Dumping them for that would be like dumping someone for not having an appendix. I guess having kids might be a concern, if I even wanted any, but there are lots of ways to acquire children besides "insert tab A into uterus B."

I can... almost understand the concept that they "lied" about who they were, except they obviously didn't bring it up because it's usually a one-way ticket to rejection. The best solution to this self-fulfilling prophecy is probably to not think of transsexuals as evil mutant double-agents.
Posted 11/29/13

marcel20 wrote:

5. Some people are just more honest than others...there's nothing self-righteous about it...if you lie a lot and are OK with dating ppl who lie a lot-thats OK with me. I prefer the more honest type of woman since I am more of a honest man.


It's not a question of "lying a lot." The way I see it, it's not even lying. If the person "lies" about it then they wouldn't tell you about it and you would find out about the truth in another way. In that case, even I would be quite upset just because I would feel like I was not important enough to that person for him/her to share the burden with me. I'm still not sure if I would automatically break up with them though. I always let people explain themselves. I'm always curious about their reasons, you see. If I didn't ask, it'd probably kill me because then I'll never know the answer to all my questions.

But if they tell me the truth themself, then why should I be upset? That only means they trust me enough to let me know their biggest, most well-kept secret. Besides, what impact can their sex change really have on me other than the possibility of my not having children with him/her (assuming we will get married and I am that desperate to have children)?

I understand this is a very weighted situation and most people wouldn't have a clue how to handle it when it hits them, but a sudden "you lied to me, it's over," in my opinion, is not a good way to deal with the situation. I understand how feelings can get hurt and people get really confused, but you should never make decisions without thoroughly thinking about them first. Not only will you end up hurting the other person whom you've grown to care about, but you are most likely hurting yourself as well.

I would like to ask you this question:

If on your first date, the woman looks you straight in the eyes and tells you that she's a transsexual who had plastic surgery, would you go out on a second date with that person?

Now, based on your immediate answer, ask yourself:

Are you, then, worthy enough of their trust and confidence to be told such a secret?
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26 / M / Pandemonium
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Posted 11/29/13 , edited 11/29/13
Having a sex operation and changing one's gender is not the same as changing one's sexual orientation. They're two completely seperate things. Just thought I'd put that out there.

As for me... sure. If I was attracted to her, and loved her, then I see no reason why not. She's not a guy anymore. What's past is past. What matters is the present.



aWatcher wrote:

No sir, I will not stay. I do not think deception is a form of love.


What if the person told you themselves, almost immediately after you met, before you had engaged in any physical contact?
Would that be deception?

And if so, then why?
And if not, what would you do then?
Posted 11/29/13 , edited 11/29/13

demongurrl13 wrote:


marcel20 wrote:

5. Some people are just more honest than others...there's nothing self-righteous about it...if you lie a lot and are OK with dating ppl who lie a lot-thats OK with me. I prefer the more honest type of woman since I am more of a honest man.


It's not a question of "lying a lot." The way I see it, it's not even lying. If the person "lies" about it then they wouldn't tell you about it and you would find out about the truth in another way. In that case, even I would be quite upset just because I would feel like I was not important enough to that person for him/her to share the burden with me. I'm still not sure if I would automatically break up with them though. I always let people explain themselves. I'm always curious about their reasons, you see. If I didn't ask, it'd probably kill me because then I'll never know the answer to all my questions.

But if they tell me the truth themself, then why should I be upset? That only means they trust me enough to let me know their biggest, most well-kept secret. Besides, what impact can their sex change really have on me other than the possibility of my not having children with him/her (assuming we will get married and I am that desperate to have children)?

I understand this is a very weighted situation and most people wouldn't have a clue how to handle it when it hits them, but a sudden "you lied to me, it's over," in my opinion, is not a good way to deal with the situation. I understand how feelings can get hurt and people get really confused, but you should never make decisions without thoroughly thinking about them first. Not only will you end up hurting the other person whom you've grown to care about, but you are most likely hurting yourself as well.

I would like to ask you this question:

If on your first date, the woman looks you straight in the eyes and tells you that she's a transsexual who had plastic surgery, would you go out on a second date with that person?

Now, based on your immediate answer, ask yourself:

Are you, then, worthy enough of their trust and confidence to be told such a secret?


Before I answer your question I'd have to say that MY definition of a woman is phisically: one who was born as a woman who has and was born only with a vagina and no abnormitys like has the body of a man or anything like that...a 100% real woman. Before getting physical with a woman I ask if they were born a man or a woman...in the area I live in this is a must. If you ever met me IRL you would quickly see that I am a absolutist who only wants what is true and real because I am these things...I have many quality's gifts-talents if you may(I have worked on my weaknesses to make them my strengths-my whole life). I have the ability to make a woman happy in soo many different ways, for me to give all that I have worked hard for to another man would be a utter waste of my time and a failure as one of my most important of life goals. When it comes to letting someone close to me I am very detailed because it is for the rest of my life..."mother of my children"(the other issue with this- my children will come from me and receive my genetic blessings).

Now to answer your question: No I won't go on a second date with him for it will be a waste of my time because I am 100% straight. Yes I am worthy of the truth just as the woman I will come to love will be worthy of my truths.
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27 / M
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Posted 11/29/13
If she went from being straight to being bi, sure.

But if she became a complete lesbian and loses the attraction...what's the point?
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40 / M / End of Nowhere
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Posted 11/29/13

demongurrl13 wrote:

I would like to ask you this question:

If on your first date, the woman looks you straight in the eyes and tells you that she's a transsexual who had plastic surgery, would you go out on a second date with that person?

Now, based on your immediate answer, ask yourself:

Are you, then, worthy enough of their trust and confidence to be told such a secret?


It would probably depend on your definition of a date. As in just a night/day out on the town where I pay for everything with a friend with zero romantic attachments? Sure. If you mean date as in leading to a romantic relationship, no.

Seem shallow? I suppose so in some ways. But is it any less shallow than when girls just state they will not ever date a guy who is shorter than they are? It is not like a guy can help how tall / short they are. There are diet reasons for height of course, but it is also at least partially genetic.

I have no problems being friends with a transgendered person. Just as I have no problems being friends with gays, lesbians, or purple aliens from Tau Ceti (The orange ones are not so friendly FYI). However, we all have those proceed / do not proceed flags. As a guy I cannot say that children are something I am really looking at, but at the same time they are something I would like to have. That is, after all, a prime reason for a marriage in my opinion. And sure, there is adoption as an alternative, but to me part of what a relationship is is that the other person is willing to have a child with half of your genes.

Nor do I see deciding not to be romantically attached to a transgendered person a betrayal of trust. It probably would be if I threw my plate of food at them while scuttling backwards screaming like a 12 year old girl. But simply a "'Thank you, but I do not think this will work out" should be fine. It certainly is fine for a girl telling a guy that she does not want to go out on a second date with me, it is pretty much what I've told other girls. So I do not see why it would be traumatic for a transgendered person.

It is not like I would not have found out eventually. There are subtle signs, even beyond actual genitalia, that generally give away transgendered people.
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23 / M / Earth
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Posted 11/29/13
no
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Sweden
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Posted 11/29/13
Nope, it wouldn't matter for me. If I loved them from the start I would still be with them, no matter their gender or sexuality.
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23 / F / California
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Posted 11/29/13
That is their past, And you or anyone can not change it.
You loved them BEFORE you knew right? Then that is your answer, Don't be shallow and leave a person for what they where. Think of it if it where you. Who cares what is between their legs. IF they Rock your world and trust you enough to tell you then its a good sign they feel the same too.
Rohzek 
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26 / M
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Posted 11/29/13

puredownfall wrote:

Don't be shallow


I laugh when people try to tell others, "You're better than that." Which is essentially what you've done here. It always comes across to me as a method to control others' actions and beliefs through some sort of guilt trip.

So am I better than that? My answer to you is this: No, I'm not. And I am proud of it too.
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