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Obliged To Love!
Posted 12/7/13 , edited 12/7/13
There are examples in anime where a female character will go out with someone because they feel obliged to. They don't necessarily want to or love the person so they only do so because they feel indebted or want to repay a kindness. It'd be interesting to hear from women if they themselves would do this, have found themselves in such a position, or just a general thought. Guys can answer as well, but it seems in anime it's mostly the female character placed in that situation.

Would you go out with someone because you felt it was your obligation, even if you didn't have romantic feelings for them?



ob·li·ga·tion
ˌäbliˈgāSHən/Submit
noun
noun: obligation; plural noun: obligations

1. an act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment.

2. the condition of being morally or legally bound to do something.

3. a debt of gratitude for a service or favor.
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Posted 12/7/13
Well the culture in Japan often is a lot more centric on your own personal roles and responsibilities rather than your personal ideals.

The animes it mainly happens in are catered toward a male audience and as a result you're very likely to see these scenarios.

I wouldn't say its sexist per se, it's more representative that in japanese culture a person can often hold their responsibilities above their personal desires.

Don't forget that it is anime and a lot of it is actually things that don't really happen but people really wish they did happen.

Posted 12/7/13 , edited 12/7/13

Xeiom wrote:

Well the culture in Japan often is a lot more centric on your own personal roles and responsibilities rather than your personal ideals.

The animes it mainly happens in are catered toward a male audience and as a result you're very likely to see these scenarios.

I wouldn't say its sexist per se, it's more representative that in japanese culture a person can often hold their responsibilities above their personal desires.

Don't forget that it is anime and a lot of it is actually things that don't really happen but people really wish they did happen.



I haven't forgotten, this is a site for fans of anime so I used it as the primary example. Though toned down or exaggerated what happens in entertainment has a correlation to real life and can happen. Being put in such a situation is not exclusive to Japan. This is too see whom, of any culture, would respond to such a situation and not targeting Japanese culture itself. Sexist refers to discrimination which is not the case here, but it also is defined as; Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender. The stereotype here is a women being expected to put the man's feelings first. This isn't a cultural conversation per say but more of a "What would I do?" scenario. Either way, thank you. Those were all good points.
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Posted 12/7/13
For myself it would depend entirely on the situation and person. If it was some kind of family marital status situation I would most likely deny the obligation. And when you say that you don't like the person, is it more of a I don't know anything about the person or a simple dislike of someone's aspects/features? I'm not the person who like's someone just because I think their body looks good or have a particular skill so I am just sitting on both sides of the fence here. (P.S. Many apologies for any error's in my post.)
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Posted 12/7/13
No.
Posted 12/7/13
No.

My happiness comes first. As bad as that sounds >.>
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Posted 12/7/13
Seems kind of dumb, I think. But anime is fiction so what will happen will happen. Personally, I hardly think this would ever happen in reality.
Posted 12/7/13 , edited 12/7/13

Varors wrote:

For myself it would depend entirely on the situation and person. If it was some kind of family marital status situation I would most likely deny the obligation. And when you say that you don't like the person, is it more of a I don't know anything about the person or a simple dislike of someone's aspects/features? I'm not the person who like's someone just because I think their body looks good or have a particular skill so I am just sitting on both sides of the fence here. (P.S. Many apologies for any error's in my post.)


Ah, sorry. I meant not liking in a romantic sense. It could be for any reason though. Thanks for pointing that out.

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I've actually known people who have gone out with someone whom they didn't like romantically because someone said they should or that they would make a good couple. There are those who will go out with someone out of pity as well. So, I'm sure there really are people who would go out with someone out of obligation.
Posted 12/7/13
This is what dumb people do
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Posted 12/7/13

CrimsonFinality wrote:

There are many examples in anime where a female character will go out with someone because they feel obliged to.



Can you give an example? I haven't watched much slice of life… which is where I'm guessing this type of thing goes on.
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Posted 12/7/13

otakurocklee wrote:


CrimsonFinality wrote:

There are many examples in anime where a female character will go out with someone because they feel obliged to.



Can you give an example? I haven't watched much slice of life… which is where I'm guessing this type of thing goes on.


I think I mostly see it in seinen action shows. A guy saves a girl, so she offers to sleep with him because she has no other way to thank him. The guy is then usually embarrassed, and declines. There are lots of instances, but the only specific one I can remember is in Blade of the Immortal (don't remember which ep).

Another related thing that bugs me is in shoujo romances. When person A confesses their love to person B, A thinks B is obliged to at least give them a chance at a date, and will only let B decline if he or she can prove that they already have someone they're dating. It happens so often in both manga and manhwa, I'm not sure if it's actually a thing that goes on in Asia, or only happens in the "shoujo-verse." Because apparently you can't decline someone if you're just not interested in going out with them.
Posted 12/7/13

otakurocklee wrote:


CrimsonFinality wrote:

There are many examples in anime where a female character will go out with someone because they feel obliged to.



Can you give an example? I haven't watched much slice of life… which is where I'm guessing this type of thing goes on.


Kimi no Iru Machi is a prime example, probably the best. The following is what happened and is a spoiler to the series.


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Posted 12/7/13
Ah interesting… I suspect it is partially culturally related. I wouldn't be too hard on the japanese culture… all cultures have their idiosyncrasies when it comes to love.
Posted 12/7/13 , edited 12/7/13
I think regardless of a specific culture the act in and of it self is a bit foolish. It's cheating both parties involved. You are giving up your own emotions and potential happiness while the other person is not being loved rather they are being deceived in a way. If a women is culturally expected to give up her own emotions, desires and body to fulfill the desires of society or a man, or vice versa that is sexist. Such an expectation should not be made. I think the value of being able to give up your own wants and needs for the betterment of something can be a great thing sometimes, but not if that means being in a relationship with someone you'd rather not just because they did something for you.
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Posted 12/7/13 , edited 12/7/13
Of course not. I'm not stupid.
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