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How does Love turn into Intense Hatred?
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F / West
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Posted 12/16/13
Anyone experience this, having loved someone so intensely and then when it ends, it turns to pure hatred for them, and the hatred is even quadrupled of the love you once felt for them.
It feels like being stuck in the hate for them, and it is so stressful to feel this way, and there is no way to even discuss it with the other person, or even be friends with them because of too much pain and hurt and truthfully they are indifferent to your feelings, and do not care because they have already jumped into another relationship..and could care less that you have residual feelings.
I just want to know if anyone has felt like this after a relationship ended, be it love, friends, or family , and what you did to come back to a sense of calm, and not be eaten alive by hatred.
Any shared stories or experiences would only help me to know I am not alone in my feelings.
And before anyone mentions therapy to work thru it, I am already involved in therapy.
The holidays are especially hard also, because seeing happy, smiling people in relationships, while inside, there is a feeling a pure hate.
Thanks for any comments, I know this might be a hard topic to even talk about. But I am reaching out for others , hard as it may be.
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Posted 12/16/13 , edited 12/16/13
Yeah....way, way back in the day. But I learned quickly that a break-up really means nothing in the long run. People are entitled to change their minds about the relationships that they're in. I know it's not always as simple as that. But after it happened once, I just couldn't deal with ill feelings just because it did work out with me and said person. I only had one more break-up after that incident. Instead of a cataclysm of loathing, it turned it into a life long friendship...mainly because we decided to accept the situation and turn it to our advantage. Having said all of this, once again, I know it's not easy. You can't always help the way you feel...that's why they're called feelings. But you can learn to look at situations from different angles. Always led me down the right path.
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Posted 12/16/13
If you take a girl out to a nice steak dinner and she cuts around the middle of her juicy steak, letting it soak in all the juices and you tell her to look a certain direction and sneak her last bite of steak, you will have unleashed a force inconceivable to man and ultimately your demise.
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Posted 12/16/13
I like it. Another way is to take a girl out for a nice steak dinner only to find out later that she's a card carrying member of PETA.
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Posted 12/16/13 , edited 12/16/13

dirty_soap_dish wrote:

I like it. Another way is to take a girl out for a nice steak dinner only to find out later that she's a card carrying member of PETA.


Oh no!
Posted 12/16/13

CalifCat wrote:

Anyone experience this, having loved someone so intensely and then when it ends, it turns to pure hatred for them, and the hatred is even quadrupled of the love you once felt for them.
It feels like being stuck in the hate for them, and it is so stressful to feel this way, and there is no way to even discuss it with the other person, or even be friends with them because of too much pain and hurt and truthfully they are indifferent to your feelings, and do not care because they have already jumped into another relationship..and could care less that you have residual feelings.
I just want to know if anyone has felt like this after a relationship ended, be it love, friends, or family , and what you did to come back to a sense of calm, and not be eaten alive by hatred.
Any shared stories or experiences would only help me to know I am not alone in my feelings.
And before anyone mentions therapy to work thru it, I am already involved in therapy.
The holidays are especially hard also, because seeing happy, smiling people in relationships, while inside, there is a feeling a pure hate.
Thanks for any comments, I know this might be a hard topic to even talk about. But I am reaching out for others , hard as it may be.



Scorn and hurt are two very powerful factors in hatred. This tends to come from one or both causing something to happen (or lack thereof) in which someone is hurt.

It hurts because you invested your heart and the outcome left it in pieces. In almost every breakup there is one of the two people left standing there, holding the pieces and the pain while the other moves on to someone else. It happens a lot more than people realize.

It's hard to just dump all you've said, done, and experienced together and act like it doesn't hurt or didn't happen/exist. It did. Some will say time will heal but I leave you with you quote:

"Time does not heal, it makes a half-stitched scar that can be broken, and again you feel the grief as in it's first hour."
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Posted 12/16/13

Atheyon wrote:


dirty_soap_dish wrote:

I like it. Another way is to take a girl out for a nice steak dinner only to find out later that she's a card carrying member of PETA.


Oh no!


The plot thickens!
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Posted 12/16/13
I came to hate someone who claimed to love me to the moon and back, and that might be just as bad. There was once a boy in my life who tried to give me everything, but I didn't want any of it; I felt pressured, tired, and broken up inside because I couldn't love him back, and that turned into self-hate because I was so...awful, and resentment towards him for trying so hard. Both of us were pushing in opposite directions, which caused a standstill. Animosity grew, and one day I found someone I did like. He swore up and down it would change nothing, and I just snapped. I told him to go away forever, that he deserved someone better, and that I couldn't deal with him anymore.

I really hurt him.

He was a good friend, too, up until he started wanting more. I was 16 when this happened, so it was young 'love,' the kind that doesn't always make sense later. It wasn't one of my finest moments in life, and to this day I wonder what would happen. We haven't spoken since. I see him around sometimes, and I think it's better that we're apart. Wounds can heal, but there are times when someone scars you in a way that may not heal for years to come. Friends report that he is happy, and I myself am, but he and I can't be friends. Not yet. There'd be too much that would hang in the silences.

Just sharing what it's like to be on the other side - the side who initiates. It's hard for everyone. Stay strong and you'll one day be able to let go of animosity or lost love. One day it won't hurt to hear their name or see their face anymore.
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31 / M
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Posted 12/16/13

How does Love turn into Intense Hatred?


Time. Oxidation. That's why you're not supposed to grind the beans until right before you brew the coffee. Otherwise, suddenly the best thing ever is basically the worst thing ever.

Wait we're all in love with coffee right?
Sogno- 
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27 / F / SC
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Posted 12/16/13

carsarelittle wrote:
Wait we're all in love with coffee right?


nah son dat is weak
Gyava 
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Posted 12/16/13
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24 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 12/16/13
By killing a persons whole clan.
Posted 12/16/13
I think it's normal if the person you love betray you, or exploited that love in some ways.

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Posted 12/17/13
I am not sure what some of the posts mean, with just the pictures and no comments. And I guess there will always be the inevitable jokes about things.
So I will just add to my own post. My hatred for him is so strong on some days, that I have wished him to be dead. Then I think, how can I wish that upon another person, especially one I once loved, but if I am being honest, I wish at times he was no more on this planet.
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22 / M / Livingston, Louis...
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Posted 12/17/13
I haven't ever experienced this, as my coping mechanism for failed relationships is to just completely disregard the entire matter and act like it never existed. Saves me time, effort, and emotional baggage like heartbreak.

But I would assume, based on the women I've been with who are prime examples of what the OP described, that it can come from a situation of betrayal, or many other things.

Jealousy's a big one too. My ex is FURIOUS and I wanna say jealous at how quick I started dating another chick. She said she was over me, didn't care for me anymore, and yet she bitches at me and my current lover. So we both laugh at the hypocrisy she spits out everyday.

So, in short, no I haven't experienced this sublime hate you speak of in recent years, but I suppose I can understand why such focused hate might arise for you or anyone else based on different situations. I used to despise my mother and wish her dead, but I've found that completely disregarding her as someone I know and not even acknowledging her worthless existence helps more than just purely hating her.

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