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Post Reply Making Gun Names less Confusing
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20 / M / Mississippi
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Posted 12/21/13
Love em or hate em, guns are pretty cool. They can be black or silver, and marked with all kinds of squarish triangular details that probably have some kind of function. Not to mention they make loud noises that make two-way wholes in whatever they're facing. There is something very wrong though with the weapons people either lug around or store in ominous miniature bank vaults. The names of a great majority of weapons are very confusing! For instance, why call the M-16 an M-16? Is it Mark 16, machine gun 16, Marauder-16? No one really gave any hints as to what any of the letters or numbers meant. At least the civilian M-16, the AR-15, makes some sense. It's the fifteenth assault rifle, and I can live with that. Even the AR-15 though, is kind of weird. It implies that there are fourteen other versions out there, but no one ever says "Hey, I just got a tactical light for my AR-7". Now, since most guns with these nonsensical letter number systems aren't part of some age-old line of classic boom sticks, there needs to be legislation passed to come up with more creative names for our beloved guns.

Starting with familiar ground, the M-16 should be called the Killer Corvette-1. It's plastic, it's fast, and it's unreliable. Not to mention the M-16 is pretty much the first M-16. The civilian version can be the Killer Corvette-1/2.

The AK-47 should be called the Wobbly Wooden Recoiling Russian. The recoil makes it wobbles, and it's Russian!

I Know the Barrette .50 Caliber is named for some guy named Barrette and it shoots bullets that belong in a mini gun. It's actually one of the more logical names in the gun world, but why not call it the Tank Tipper? It doesn't physically tip them over, but a shot to the engine will render enemy armor about as useful as an inverted cow.

In it's prime the Colt .45 was the judge, jury, and executioner in the law deprived boom towns of the wild west. This gun dished out frontier justice in swift, fair trials taking only ten paces to solve a case. The Colt .45, in collector's item days, deserves to be called Frontier Justice.

Now, mini gun and Gatling gun are pretty cool names for the six barreled horse of the apocalypse, but given it's current area of operation, it should really be called Desert Diplomacy. In fact, the mini gun's name should change based on it's environment. In the tropics, it's the Jungle Juicer, in places too cold for anything to logically operate, it's the Tundra Grass Fire.

There are lot's of other guns, and I could spend years trying to name them, so if you're a gun nut or share my problem, give your favorite kind of gun a better name. Nothing like Hanna or Sasha though. That's just lazy!
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19 / M
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Posted 12/21/13
Seems legit, I'm down. We could call the Browning 50 cal machine gun the "nagging ex-girlfriend" because it's huge, loud, and unbearable to listen to without ear protection.
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20 / M / Las Vegas
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Posted 12/21/13
. . . No. Just. . . No. . .
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59 / USA
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Posted 12/21/13
A.50 cal can go through the armor on main line battle tanks?Mini gun? You might want to look up Ma Duece.
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17 / M / Tórshavn
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Posted 12/21/13
Well... I don't have a problem with the normal weird number names, I mean.. Ak47, it's awesome xD Mark XIX Desert Eagle and AWP anybody :D?
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Posted 12/21/13
The AK-47 is actually short for Avtomat Kalashnikova model 47
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21 / M / Amegakure
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Posted 12/22/13
Just call them all "pew pew pews"
Posted 12/22/13

saksiss wrote:

Just call them all "pew pew pews"


I call them the *dddddddd*
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51 / M / Vancouver, WA. (T...
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Posted 12/22/13
We used to do this stuff when I was young...

Many guys that went to Vietnam often remarked that the "M" in M16 referred to the plastic stock presumably made be "Mattel" toy company. I know a few guys that were in the Army during the 80's that came to a similar conclusion. Apparently the "M" actually stands for "Model"

The other rumor I remember pretty well was about the Mini-gun (M-134), They called it "Puff the Magic Dragon."

The Colt 45 was actually called the "Peacemaker" and I think it might have been Sam Colt that decided that.

Barret's .50 BMG and McMillans's .50 BMG were used for shooting silhouettes at over 1000 yards as well as sniper rifles... They usually can't penetrate heavily armored vehicles but you can sure screw up planes and support vehicles with them. I almost bought a Barret Light rifle but the .50 bullets were kind of spendy even if I loaded them myself. The bullets themselves weigh about an ounce and a half.
wyrvan 
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43 / M
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Posted 12/22/13

GrateSaiyaman wrote:

The other rumor I remember pretty well was about the Mini-gun (M-134), They called it "Puff the Magic Dragon."


Puff the Magic Dragon was the nickname of the AC-47 gunship. It was a converted cargo plane that carried three side firing mini-guns and thousands of rounds of ammunition. It could hit everything in an area the size of a football field in less then ten seconds.
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21 / M / CR Forums
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Posted 12/22/13
Maybe if they wern't so expensive, I'd be damned to learn their names.

I know the names of all Mobile Suit Gundam mech's, Gun's arn't that much harder.

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Posted 12/22/13 , edited 12/22/13
I call my AR-15 Tom Bombadil I assembled it myself. DPMS upper/lower reciever, 14.5 inch chrome lined barrel, Magpul MOE stock handguard and grip, topped with a Trijicon ACOG (TA50-2) ((amber triangle reticle)). Took a standard trigger group and polished it myself so it has an awesome, crisp break. Oh, I also have a FN-FAL that I call Goldberry I try not to think about how much money i've spent, it's a damned expensive hobby.... it helps to think of it as an investment, I suppose it is actually. They have only gone up in value, and any market volatility will just help more :)

Got a bit off track there, lol..... I also own a Kel-Tec P3AT which is an interesting play on words P i assume stands for pistol, and 3AT the caliber (.380)
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20 / M / Mississippi
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Posted 12/22/13 , edited 12/22/13

Tramdor1 wrote:

The AK-47 is actually short for Avtomat Kalashnikova model 47


Yeah, but that's boring sounding.
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17 / M / Sweden, Stockholm
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Posted 12/22/13
Just why?
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23 / M / SoCal, HB
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Posted 12/22/13
Why don't you just make a gun and name it yourself?
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