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Are child abuse laws too strict?
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25 / M / Inside Lorreen's...
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Posted 12/25/13
Personally I think the laws are too strict. You can't discipline your children the way I was disciplined without being thrown in jail for life it seems. Kid just has to make a remark of how dad or mom raised their hands, and whether the kid was hit or not they would be arrested and the kid put in protective custody. Which is why all the kids now a days are little brats, and yes I do know how kids act, I babysit kids and I live down the street from a elementary school, kids are brats.

Why? Parents are lazy and spoil their bratty kids and wont ever admit their kids do bad things or even if the parents are not lazy and don't spoil the kids, they know they will just get worse repercussions if the do anything. So kids can get away with pretty much anything and mommy and daddy will just be like "Oh our little Prince/Princess would never do that!! It must of been one of the other kids putting the blame on our little dear!"

If kids today were disciplined even 1/10th of the way I was, there would be a lot less of these problem kids around. I can assure that if I do ever have kids, I will discipline the way I was. My kids do something wrong they won't be able to sit down comfortably anytime soon.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 12/25/13
Besides dealing with a child that steals, what about a child that does this instead?
Found this little video on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSq2sI5SMws


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21 / F / Balmer, Murlin
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Posted 12/25/13
The law is that you cannot leave a visible mark on your child, right? I think that is sufficient. I do not think you should resort to violence of any kind when punishing your child, but a light slap or something that doesn't hurt as much as it startles can be justified. Those women who beat their children til they bled are completely in the wrong. They probably just got angry and fed up and decided "well, actually teaching them good behavior is too hard, so I'll just beat the shit out of them until they stop".

People say not beating your kids is lazy? No. Beating your children is lazy. It's easy to get mad and start throwing punches. What's hard is to calm yourself, be the adult, and explain things in a way that your child can understand. Most children only learn that violence solves problems when they are beaten as punishment. That is completely wrong. Rationality and a clear head is what solves problems.

The only bad thing about the current laws are how they are abused. It's much too easy for people to lie about child abuse. If there's no one to back up a kid's story, chances are it will be dismissed and the abuse will continue unhinged. Kids are often scared to speak out because people will not believe them. There are also cases of children being manipulated to lie about abuse for adults to get back at one another, which is absolutely terrible. You have to be a special kind of asshole to manipulate innocent children like that. The only way to stop this is to reach out to kids directly and teach them what abuse is, how to spot it, and how to get help.

This advertisement comes to mind:


The ad changes based on the viewing angle. If viewed from an average adult height, it shows an unharmed child and a standard message about abuse. If viewed from the average height of a young child, the kid pictured looks battered, and it tells the child to reach out for help if they are hurt (as well as giving contact info for an abuse hotline). I forget how I stumbled upon this, but it struck me as a clever idea. Don't know how much of an impact it actually had on abuse rates, though. It's from Spain, by the way.
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23 / M
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Posted 12/25/13
I don't see anything wrong with a child getting a good whooping when he/she deserves it. Most people today make it sound like getting one is just the cruelest thing in the world. It's not. I've had my fair share. I think I turned out pretty well. It doesn't matter how much you try to reason this fact, children can't all be disciplined the same exact way. Whether you want to believe it or not it's the truth. Yes, some will listen by just simply talking. If that works for you, then fine. Continue to do that. However, as i've seen from many kids today, talking is not nearly enough. And in many cases a child doesn't take a parent serious enough by just words alone. Yes you can continue explaining the reason why little jimmy or susie shouldn't do this or that.

However, a lot of kids will come to realize that no other serious course of action will take place. They'll stop taking you seriously and take advantage of the fact that you refuse to whoop them or take any disciplinary measure up a grade higher. That's just how a lot of kids are today. Of course if you do whoop them, then it shouldn't be to the point of causing serious injury to the child, but just enough to grab their attention. And after the whooping, you should then take the time out to explain to them why what they did was wrong so that they can understand and hopefully won't go on repeating the same mistakes.

And i may get flamed for it but whatever. Fear can be a good teaching method IF it is used properly. If the child fears absolutely nothing, then more than likely they'll end up doing anything they please, because they completely disregard the consequences of their actions. A healthy fear, i believe, is fearing the consequences of negative actions. Everyone should have that kind of fear. It can help one to understand the difference in right in wrong; why wrong is wrong and right is right.
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Posted 12/25/13
No they are not.
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36 / M
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Posted 12/25/13

log10 wrote:


jetah wrote:

physical pain is a teacher. this teacher exist in the world.

to say that we can talk to children and they'll learn is like standing on the highway telling people they need to slow down. children's minds switch fast to different subjects. the pain is a method for them to focus on the situation then you can talk to them.

like DuppyConqueror I was beat with belts, switches and I turned out fine as well.


You were abused and it now seems you are going to be a child abuser yourself. More violence begets violence.



I wasn't abused, I was whipped because I was bad.
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Posted 12/25/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:


jetah wrote:

physical pain is a teacher. this teacher exist in the world.

to say that we can talk to children and they'll learn is like standing on the highway telling people they need to slow down. children's minds switch fast to different subjects. the pain is a method for them to focus on the situation then you can talk to them.

like DuppyConqueror I was beat with belts, switches and I turned out fine as well.
I got hit by cars tons of times when I was a kid, and I turned out fine. Guess I better hit my kid with a car.


Some people just haven't been hit enough. I do agree with the statement about the kids now day being disrespectful asses and should get proper punishment. However I wouldn't go as far as saying beating a child is the way to go.

Btw is this only for the laws in the US?
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27 / M / Massachusetts
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Posted 12/25/13
I don't know if they are too strict or not, but with the upcoming generations they lack discipline. What they need is a good slap on their ass. When I was bad or acted like a little shit I'd get slapped on my rear and told "Don't do that again" and you know what, I didn't do that again. There is a huge difference between discipline and abuse and what kids need these days are more discipline.
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21 / M / On the Court
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Posted 12/25/13
I believe the belt has raise a good man out of me. So "No", their not.
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21 / M
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Posted 12/25/13
Nope they are not
Posted 12/25/13
I think the coworker should have just told their child that stealing was wrong instead of immediately hitting his hands, especially if the boy is too young to understand what stealing is or not. I understand if you are trying to teach your child what is right and wrong, but if you do not tell him why that it is wrong and never do it, how will he learn? Communication is often left out when many parents try to discipline their children, and that needs to end.

About whether the child abuse laws are too strict or not, I am not entirely sure.

Maybe there is a matter of whether the laws are being misinterpreted or not being enforced properly. The laws may need to be changed or reedited so that they can help protect children better and the parent. It would not be a good idea also that the law should be extended to allow parents to beat their child(ren) to a point they will leave bruises. You do not and should not have to mark up a child just to discipline them.
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Posted 12/25/13 , edited 12/25/13
I hate conversations like this because people try to use a flat rule for everything. I have two kids, so I speak from experience here.

Does spanking work for some children? Yes.
Does spanking work on every kid? No.

Can some children be taught with words and advice? Yes.
Can every kid be taught with words only? No.

Just like adults, kids are different. They have different feelings and meanings about people, places, and actions. Not all methods work for all kids. The point is that the adult should establish that a negative consequence came of his action, be it disapproval or a spanking. And the level of punishment should reflect what the kid did wrong. The punishment might be a stern talking, being grounded, sitting in a corner or a belt over the ass.

You need to establish not only what is wrong, but which things are worse than others. The kid needs to create a moral framework to judge their actions. This means explaining why the punishment happened and why it is wrong. At the same time some children might find grounding or losing privileges to be worse punishment than a beating. It just depends on the kid and how he values things.

That said, pain is a teacher. My floors don't talk to my children and tell them not to fall, the pain of falling does. Pain is a natural indicator that a negative consequence has arisen from certain actions. But not all falls or bumps are painful and neither should punishments. The level of action should match the situation. Worse misdeeds should have worse outcomes.

On the same token, good actions need positive rewards. Praise is usually enough. But good grades or exceptional deeds might yield exceptional rewards. Adults are the same. Hard workers feel they should get raises and promotions. People should be rewarded for good behavior.

This is the basis of a field of psychology called Game Theory. Changing people actions and behaviors using risk and reward.
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20 / M
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Posted 12/25/13
Some kids need physical discipline, others don't. Verbal discipline can only go so far with some kids until another form of punishment needs to be introduced. As long as the physical discipline doesn't go too far, then I don't see a problem with it.
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20 / M
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Posted 12/25/13 , edited 12/25/13

FlyinDumpling wrote:


jetah wrote:

physical pain is a teacher. this teacher exist in the world.

to say that we can talk to children and they'll learn is like standing on the highway telling people they need to slow down. children's minds switch fast to different subjects. the pain is a method for them to focus on the situation then you can talk to them.

like DuppyConqueror I was beat with belts, switches and I turned out fine as well.
I got hit by cars tons of times when I was a kid, and I turned out fine. Guess I better hit my kid with a car.


You really can't handle another perspective without blowing it out of proportion and adding sarcasm. This almost feels like a troll post, since you obviously can't take another opinion seriously.
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24 / M / Laguna Niguel, Ca...
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Posted 12/25/13
Considering I was abused when I was younger. The answer... No
especially in California
See California has these Court laws where they are Pro-Women. Meaning the Father is responsible for everything, Divorse, Child-support,ect. And gets split visitation.
It is this way because they see father automatically as the Big ,bad wongdoer. And the mother is the weaker and gentler of the two and could possible do no harm. And they have no desire to check the mental stablility of her and her family.
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