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4718 cr points
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41 / M / NJ
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Posted 1/18/18 , edited 1/18/18
Bish, I'm fabulous!
72963 cr points
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34 / M / Seattle
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Posted 1/18/18 , edited 1/18/18
Dilly, Dilly! Wait, that's the wrong brand of beer, so to the pit of misery.
Posted 1/18/18 , edited 1/18/18
past: I am tough. I trust my house heating. I know I will be fine with litttle clothing.

present: I am frezing. I was wrong. Only my hair and clothes can move.
25604 cr points
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20 / F / Germany
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Posted 1/23/18 , edited 1/23/18
"I want to stay in this position for the rest of my life."
85093 cr points
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M / NYC
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Posted 1/23/18 , edited 1/23/18
"Vote for me because I say so!"
116944 cr points
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70 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 1/23/18 , edited 1/23/18
Talcum powder is labelled well, unlike itching powder....
30063 cr points
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48 / M / Back in my cage w...
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Posted 1/23/18 , edited 1/23/18
That slap was actually pretty hard....
Posted 1/27/18 , edited 1/27/18
My name is Vincent Catman.
Posted 1/27/18 , edited 1/27/18
My eye hurts.
214865 cr points
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F / Antique bookshop
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Posted 1/27/18 , edited 1/28/18
i wanted to be a unicorn
18325 cr points
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20 / M / Idaho
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Posted 1/28/18 , edited 1/29/18
*clack clack clack*
1018 cr points
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Posted 1/28/18 , edited 1/29/18
Do you want me to brush your hair too?
116944 cr points
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70 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 1/28/18 , edited 1/29/18
Give me a cigar and I too can imitate Groucho Marx on "What's My Line"....

Say the secret word and win a hundred dollars......
3413 cr points
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27 / M / Philippines
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Posted 1/28/18 , edited 1/29/18
I just realized i am a unibrow
85093 cr points
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M / NYC
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Posted 1/28/18 , edited 1/29/18
"Sharingan!"
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