First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
Post Reply A Creation Myth that doesn't Suck
10199 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / California
Offline
Posted 1/23/14
In the beginning, there was a man, and that man was Bruce Lee.







After the Big Bang, He spent 13.7 billion years meditating on the subjects of life and love atop the event horizon of what would eventually become the Milky Way's center. From the eternal black upon which Lee was perched, glowing hydrogen gathered about, coalescing into a bright lumpy disk. These lumps, one after another, exploded in sequential cascades of elements unknown even to Lee. Matter continued to collect; swirling into a freckled blue spiral of gaseous cosmic soft serve, and from it, lumps in the swirls took shape. These were unlike the glowing gas giants of the young age though. They were solid, immovable juggernauts bowing only to the will of more stable stars. Like himself, these protrusions among the astral clouds quietly meditated as they circled the stars that birthed them. Among the billions of planets there was one that did not take up the example set by Bruce Lee's time absent meditation. Struck with curiosity for the first time, he set forth to the mysterious planet just as the black hole belched a white hot protest of particles so intensely thin that it seemed to pierce space itself. Lee took this as an omen for what to expect upon completing his journey to that obstinate stone.

When he saw that a planet writhe with conflict and turmoil emerged from the swirling mist of metal and gas, he went forth to quail the warring rocky marble.
Upon touching down in the mountains where silk swaddled monks sing to the stars, he birthed martial arts into every shimmering neuron, knowing that it would take the eb and flow of the universe itself to calm humanity's tumultuous typhoon of conflict. Bruce lee left the planet believing that he had done enough for the psychotic apes to provide for them, an untold era of peace upon the planet formed of contrary forces. Many years later, Lee returned from his vacation among the astral plain to find humanity not only shattered the unity of universe-fu and divided its pieces among the seven land masses, but these clever carbon sausages found a way to make it obsolete. He knew that it was again time to restore balance to the orb on the edge of Orion, but the stoic ways of the monks died along with universe-fu. Bruce Lee did find though, that humanity loved to see others of their kind dance about on silver sheets pelted with light. It was through this medium that Bruce lee would restore balance.

Using his universe-fu he forced audiences into flailing convulsions of raised hands and enthusiastic shouting. Outside the venue of Lee’s performance, hands of two kinds slapped together followed with unanimous retorts of “That was awesome! Let’s see it again!” Lee was satisfied somewhat, with the peaceful aura tinged with a taste of shared body odor emanating from the audience. He knew that as long as his presence on screen persisted, the violent nature of his ape audience would remain in check, and that is why there are no Bruce Lee jokes.
1805 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
17 / M / Norway
Offline
Posted 1/23/14
i approve this.
2617 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
29 / M / California, USA
Offline
Posted 1/23/14
Chuck Norris APPROVED!.....lmao I had to...
12959 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / Currently at CHIM...
Online
Posted 1/23/14 , edited 1/23/14
Here's one from me.
In the begining, Chikane and Himeko made love for the first time, and thus created the entire world of Yuri.


The End.
480 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
15 / M / Denver, CO
Offline
Posted 1/23/14

I like this myth... I like this myth very much ;-;
12959 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / Currently at CHIM...
Online
Posted 1/23/14

AnimeCouples4Eva wrote:


I like this myth... I like this myth very much ;-;


Thanks.
1418 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
17 / M / Toronto Ontario
Offline
Posted 1/23/14

Animegirlzvstheworld wrote:

Here's one from me.
In the begining, Chikane and Himeko made love for the first time, and thus created the entire world of Yuri.


The End.


Oh my god. I understand life now...
12959 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / Currently at CHIM...
Online
Posted 1/23/14

Sifly wrote:


Animegirlzvstheworld wrote:

Here's one from me.
In the begining, Chikane and Himeko made love for the first time, and thus created the entire world of Yuri.


The End.


Oh my god. I understand life now...


Good!
4882 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
43 / LV-426
Offline
Posted 1/23/14
I was going to offer a myth involving Tetsuo from 'Akira', but that Bruce Lee concoction is a tough act to follow. I dig it!
34534 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
15 / M / Anonymity
Offline
Posted 1/23/14

Animegirlzvstheworld wrote:

Here's one from me.
In the begining, Chikane and Himeko made love for the first time, and thus created the entire world of Yuri.


The End.


Everything makes sense now...
10199 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / California
Offline
Posted 1/23/14

dirty_soap_dish wrote:

I was going to offer a myth involving Tetsuo from 'Akira', but that Bruce Lee concoction is a tough act to follow. I dig it!


Using his head to balance upon Akira's, Tetsuo began to spin; an upside-down double lariat amidst the great nothing. As Tetsuo gained momentum, Akira was taken sway by the infantile laws of physics, and started spinning himself. The two continued this dizzying dance until Akira was thrown aside by Tetsuo's manic twirling. Instead of Akira flailing around in space, she was saved by his and Tetsuo's gravitational fields. Now the two spun side by side, staying in tune to gravity's beat. Eventually their orbits grew shorter and shorter, and like binary neutron stars, every filament of their being stretched toward each other in defile of the double lariat! At the apex of the gravitational tug-of-war, Akira and Tetsuo collapsed into a single shinning vessel of matter. At the subatomic level though, the two remained separate in the double lariat. Equilibrium remained. That is until Tetsuo became dizzy. He fell over from his forehead, ending his stabilizing dance. When Akira Stopped to see why Tetsuo stopped. the trapped particles let loose their trapped energies, flinging the matter in all directions, and sweeping away Akira as well. Tetsuo looked about frantically, but his vision was clouded by the debris. In order to better locate Akira, Tetsuo pushed the particles aside, causing them to chaotically collapse into new forms. Balls of hot gas exploded into storms of obscuring light and dust, forming yet more solid forms that would hide the wayward Akira. Tetsuo now sadly strafes about the cosmos as he desperately searches for Akira. They say his presence can be felt to this day, for whenever Tetsuo tearfully calls out Akira's name in the silent abyss of space, those tears fall to the planets as meteors.
4882 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
43 / LV-426
Offline
Posted 1/23/14

Lethargic_leopard_Seal wrote:


dirty_soap_dish wrote:

I was going to offer a myth involving Tetsuo from 'Akira', but that Bruce Lee concoction is a tough act to follow. I dig it!


Using his head to balance upon Akira's, Tetsuo began to spin; an upside-down double lariat amidst the great nothing. As Tetsuo gained momentum, Akira was taken sway by the infantile laws of physics, and started spinning himself. The two continued this dizzying dance until Akira was thrown aside by Tetsuo's manic twirling. Instead of Akira flailing around in space, she was saved by his and Tetsuo's gravitational fields. Now the two spun side by side, staying in tune to gravity's beat. Eventually their orbits grew shorter and shorter, and like binary neutron stars, every filament of their being stretched toward each other in defile of the double lariat! At the apex of the gravitational tug-of-war, Akira and Tetsuo collapsed into a single shinning vessel of matter. At the subatomic level though, the two remained separate in the double lariat. Equilibrium remained. That is until Tetsuo became dizzy. He fell over from his forehead, ending his stabilizing dance. When Akira Stopped to see why Tetsuo stopped. the trapped particles let loose their trapped energies, flinging the matter in all directions, and sweeping away Akira as well. Tetsuo looked about frantically, but his vision was clouded by the debris. In order to better locate Akira, Tetsuo pushed the particles aside, causing them to chaotically collapse into new forms. Balls of hot gas exploded into storms of obscuring light and dust, forming yet more solid forms that would hide the wayward Akira. Tetsuo now sadly strafes about the cosmos as he desperately searches for Akira. They say his presence can be felt to this day, for whenever Tetsuo tearfully calls out Akira's name in the silent abyss of space, those tears fall to the planets as meteors.




Please be my friend.
16685 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / in the land of th...
Offline
Posted 1/23/14
That's some crazy chit...
I didn't know bemused bohemian had a love child..

You are really talented, be careful, pst (they will lock you awayyy)
4882 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
43 / LV-426
Offline
Posted 1/23/14
12959 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / Currently at CHIM...
Online
Posted 1/23/14

Schmeh172 wrote:


Animegirlzvstheworld wrote:

Here's one from me.
In the begining, Chikane and Himeko made love for the first time, and thus created the entire world of Yuri.


The End.


Everything makes sense now...



Yes...
First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.