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Slapping a girl?
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34 / M / Midwest USA
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Posted 1/31/14
Why ... are we judging the way others choose to discipline their child?

Doesn't seem like it's any of our business, but hey, I'm just a parent that has his own rules for his child.

That said, the spoiler-y comment that started this thread (as I'm only up to episode 11 of the series)? I have personally been in situations where someone has done similar and while they were in the middle of an absolute panic, a smack (in my case, a pinch) brought them back to reality. Sometimes that's what it takes, as it is a shock to their already-overloaded system and will cause them to focus on a single point (thus, seizing the panic attack). I don't think what I did was wrong, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

My opinion on the whole thing is that ... the collective 'we' don't have the right to judge others regarding their disciplinary actions towards their children or charges; we are not in their shoes and don't know the story. Circumstances arise, though, where we are privy to the intricacies surrounding the situation and it is up to 'our' good nature (if there is one) and our common sense to make the wise decision to address any potential wrong-doing.

I do see a lot of "if it works" and, to an extent, I wholeheartedly agree.

Outside of the spoilery comment, though, this is actually a swell topic that can breed a lot of good (and not-so-good) conversations.
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Posted 1/31/14
I'm relating my post to the general discussion, children/physical discipline, and not the Golden Time incident specifically, so here goes.

Extremes of either physical discipline (then becoming abuse) or otherwise (the extreme of this being doing nothing) are both bad and damaging to the development of a child's character.

I have to say for myself i'm in favor of using physical discipline. That doesn't mean that I would hit my child on every single occasion meriting discipline; that's unrealistic. Parents (i'm assuming) love their children and want to do whats best for them, but their jobs are preparing them for life on their own. A lecture here and a slap there teaches that different situations have different gravity and that in life, everybody isn't going to talk to you nicely nor will every situation (going back to the Golden Time incident) end with little or no repercussion.

Posted 1/31/14

Kavalion wrote:

Well, I think that a spoiled child is easier to deal with than a bitter child. A slap is only a shock the first time it happens. After a while, the kid will only respond with anger - at any perceived accusation, too.

But I guess it depends on the kid's personality. I just haven't known any kids that put up with being smacked.


I've been more than smacked. I was once made to kneel on a basin of rock salt for half an hour... And yes, I used to resent being punished like that, but I got over it. I don't think I would be the kind of person I am now if not for that so I do not at all see it as a bad thing. After all, I turned out quite alright and way gutsier than the crybabies I grew up with... Lol
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 1/31/14
Parenting is a struggle of "what to do?" or "what not to do?" moments.

Hell you don't even have to slap your child for your child to slap you back.
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21 / F / Balmer, Murlin
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Posted 1/31/14 , edited 1/31/14
The father was justified in hitting her. She endangered people's lives. She's an adult, she should be more responsible. In that situation, I would have at first been relieved that my child was alive, and then I probably would have gotten very angry. Don't know if I'd go so far as to hit her, but I would've been close.

Generally, it is bad to slap anyone. Not just a girl. But context is key - did she do something unforgivable? How is the person that would want to slap her related to her - friend? Boyfriend? Parent? Sibling? Random stranger who has no business touching her?

If you're an adult, don't hit a child. Not even your own. When it comes to other adults, though, I can imagine situations where a slap may be justified and definitely not considered abuse. If you just make it a habit of hitting girls, though, then you're an abusive asshole who deserves to be put in jail.
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21 / M / On the Court
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Posted 1/31/14
Nothing wrong with a good reality slap to get people back to normal.
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F / space
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Posted 1/31/14
i would slap someone if im really really really pissed off at them! even i havent slaped any girl...yet.
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F / lala land!
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Posted 1/31/14
I've never slapped either of my kids. There has never been a need for it.. I remember getting slapped once as a teen by one of my parents... I probably deserved it. If I remember correctly I was being quite evil to my mom and disrespected her. (this was obviously years and years ago) I didn't feel like I deserved it at the time, but hindsight is always 20/20.


speaking of slaps.. I have slapped a man before. (probably 10 years or so ago now.) the father of my kids cheated on me. admitted to it (after having been caught by a friend of the family) A couple days later I was still very upset. We were in public and he says to me "Can't you just get over it all ready? It's in the F***ing past! Stop being such a F***ing B*** about it!"
I slapped him hard. (I think i sort of snapped because it wasn't really a conscious decision)
He asked me, "why the F*** did you do that?!"
I replied, "It doesn't matter... it's in the past"
He actually laughed ruefully and admitted he deserved it.
Sadly, It had no effect on his behavior and he cheated again later down the road. (and needless to say, I'm no longer with him. lol)


So... slapping him didn't change anything other than making me feel a tiny bit better. *shrugs* This is probably why I don't slap my kids when they're being bad. If it does nothing but make me feel better, then it won't help me teach them right from wrong. Mostly, just properly communicating with them does the job. Other times it's extra chores and grounding without all the wonders of modern technology. both work quite well, but that's just how my family works. (I refrained from saying 'rolls' instead of works.. it was tough holding that back. just saying)
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Posted 1/31/14
A slap is a good way to get someone's attention. It really comes down to the situation. There are plenty of cases where a slap both necessary and justified. But there are just as many cases where a slap is completely inappropriate, and the difference could be as small a single emotion. I don't see any problem with slapping a girl or a kid. There are too many spoiled brats (age is irrelevant) running around these days that should have experienced a slap or fifty growing up. Positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, or negative punishment are usually more effective in shaping behavior than a positive punishment like a slap, but that doesn't mean a slap isn't effective in certain situations. It all comes down to choosing the correct response to desired or undesired behaviors. Beating the hell out of your kid or your wife to teach them a lesson won't teach them anything, and you'll only create more problems for them and yourself. Violence as a positive punishment is a horrible and ineffective teaching tool.

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18 / M / Vietnam, Saigon
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Posted 1/31/14
Honestly, I grew up being smacked, punched and even choked. I can't say I'm happy about having those moments stuck in my mind but it does work. I'm also happy they did that because if they haven't I might have grew up as a disrespectful teenager.
Whatever I go through can't be worst than what my parents went through during the Vietnam War.
I'm happy they survived and raised me to become a respectful person.
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Posted 1/31/14
I think it's funny that people don't see the gender division here. If a women is approach by a guy with unwanted sexual advances, she can smack him...but if the guy were to smack a girl for unwanted flirting, it would be considered assault
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37 / M / USA
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Posted 1/31/14 , edited 1/31/14
It's anime, characters get slapped all the time. Just be sure to put some stank on it!
Posted 1/31/14
Slapping her face is one thing. Her butt another, depending on the context.
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M / Australia
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Posted 1/31/14

Shukuzen wrote:


Bashernoid wrote:

its okay to slap a child when he/she do wrong ways or bad thing .. but i was a bit angry at Koko's father becoz wat he did was so wrong
first reason is becoz he backhanded her. backhand is not good becoz its for violent, not justify
second reason is he hit her so hard that made her fall on the ground. its seem to me more violent than teaching a lesson.
third reason is when u want to slap a child, then dont slap in front of people. only in private place. that stupid father hit her in front of her friends and boyfriend. its not good becoz it made them feel bad and worry about her and also they might feel its their faults


Are you some kind of idiot? Holy crap.

Yeah, let's beat the kid somewhere where people can't see it, so it can feel how incredibly alone, inferior and helpless it is against a grown human. That's good for a growing child's psyche.

You're also saying it's okay with violence towards children, as long as it's just minor abuse. That's amazing.


excuse me

since when i said its okay to beat a child? i said its okay to slap a child just one time only, but not a strong slap or violent... plz read carefully my writing before posting
and i didnt said to take a child to private place to beat a child up. where did u read this? wat i said that if u want to talk a child something very serious or teach them lesson about never do bad thing, do that in the house with the family so u can talk to a child to understand (the private place) this is wat im saying
plz dont think wrong about me becoz im against the abusing child
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40 / M
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Posted 1/31/14
I don't believe in slapping another adult, except as noted previously, to bring them to their senses in a crisis.

I do believe disciplined corporal punishment is effective with children, before they're at the age where removal of privileges becomes more of a motivator. I have two children, and I've found the occasional spanking to be far more effective than a "time out".

A parent who occasionally spanks their child to get their attention, then follows up with an explanation of what they did wrong and a reassurance of love is very different than one who habitually rants at the child and strikes out of anger rather than concern.
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