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Toxic Friends
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31 / F / Wisconsin USA
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Posted 1/31/14 , edited 2/1/14
So I am having a issue with a friend who right now is probably more of and ex-friend now. But in the last year and a half all I have felt is a crutch to the person. Always picking them up emotionally and physically.

I will admit I will never know exactly how that person feels. But I always feel I can never tell the person how I feel. I am no saint but I always try and be a good friend to my friends.

So I was wondering if anyone else out there has experience with what they feel are toxic friends. How they have dealt with them.

Please note I read the posts but I may not be able respond to everyone.
Posted 1/31/14
Oh shit that's me.
Posted 1/31/14
These psychic vampires are a detriment to your well being. Move away from them for your own good, else they will continue to feed on you.
Posted 1/31/14
I've had toxic friends in the past for sure.

I call them out on the problem, and we discuss it. Sometimes we remain friends, other times we don't.

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31 / F / Wisconsin USA
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Posted 1/31/14

haikinka wrote:

Oh shit that's me.


Then I blame everything on you


Chofrizzy wrote:

Bitch slap your friend and you'll feel better


That is what I should do but my mom raised me with better manners then that. Even though it is something I would love to do right now.



sevenhells wrote:

These psychic vampires are a detriment to your well being. Move away from them for your own good, else they will continue to feed on you.


Yeah that is what is feels like. That is one of the things I have been thinking that I need to cut this person out.



puellapeanut wrote:

I've had toxic friends in the past for sure.

I call them out on the problem, and we discuss it. Sometimes we remain friends, other times we don't.



I think that is part of what I am going to do and if we are still friends then so be it. If not I think I will be better off. That I can get better friends then this one.

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Posted 1/31/14
It's hard, but you have to break off! D8 You'll feel like a horrible person for a few months, and then you'll realize how much happier you were without them.

I had a toxic friend. I thought his drawings were cool in high school, and he was sort of girl crazy and confessed to me a week after we met, then proceeded to stick to me for four years, straight to the second year of college. By then, I was a lot less naive, and was kind of fed up with how he didn't stop talking about anything but girls, how girls didn't reciprocate his feelings, and how he still kept hitting on me after I shot him down at least five times. In four years. Usually in a huge fight.
He was a really immature and depressing guy, and guilt tripped me into agreeing to doing a lot of things I didn't want to, and thank goodness I was such a prude or it might have gone in a really bad direction.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when he suddenly insulted my tastes, then proceeded to insult women in general, and I realized he was a "nice guy", and then he casually called me a hoe when I got mad, and I finally blocked him. I still feel bad every once in a while, and worry about him, but then I reread our last conversation and my resolve returns.

Trust me, if you feel like this person isn't good company for you, break it off. Toxic friends will turn you toxic as well, and before you know it, you've become a person who spits out poisonous words and you'll dislike yourself.
Posted 1/31/14

animeartist62 wrote:

So I was wondering if anyone else out there has experience with what they feel are toxic friends. How they have dealt with them.


My best friend moved away. It's funny because shes a horrible friend. In the sense that she can't keep a secret and shes shit to talk too. But, she's my best friend. We have been together through thick and thin. She has been there. I do believe in my heart that she would never give up on our friendship. She may be toxic int he sense that she can't keep anything i say to herself and sometimes completely ignore things that I say.. but I have accepted that as who she is.

She moved three hours away, if you're still reading I swear I'm getting to the point of the story! I have become close with another friend of mine since she has moved away. He is kind of a hood rat. He is a genius though. He hacks computers and you could never tell he is intelligent by all the dumb things he does. He does drugs and really does promote it. I mean, he is DOWN. To do anything. It scares me. He is so intelligent but here he is telling me stories about how he's done this and that. I started describing our friendship as sort of like Sid and Nancy.. we started really being bad for each other. But there is one thing that he is to me that nobody else is, and that's if I need him, he is there. That's what friends are for. You're supposed to BE THERE. No matter what.

If your friend is crying and sobbing about things you should be there for him. Hopefully he will pick himself up sooner or later. It's not up to you to do it. But, if you truly decide to be there for him it will turn out good in the long run.

To be honest I see how much of a shut in I was back a couple years ago. I didn't understand what friendship was. I never really had it. I kind of just taught myself that it's almost like doing things for someone that you wouldn't normally do. It's caring about what path they stray into or really trying to keep the connection with them even when you really don't feel up to it. I know what it's like to feel completely exhausted from people. But if you take the time out, I think it's worth it in the end.
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31 / F / Wisconsin USA
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Posted 1/31/14

Hakuotter wrote:

Toxic friends will turn you toxic as well, and before you know it, you've become a person who spits out poisonous words and you'll dislike yourself.


I think need to break it off for myself. That is what I feel like that it is turning me toxic as well constantly dealing with the persons problem. I have worked hard not to let things be toxic in my life and do not want to be dragged back.

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Posted 1/31/14
Toxic or not having a friend is better then nothing.
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Posted 1/31/14

Thfelese wrote:

Toxic or not having a friend is better then nothing.


Actually, that really depends on you and your point of view. For example, I consider myself unfriendable to others simply because I tend to always see the worst in people, I have a minor superiority complex, and I quickly lose interest in people if I always have to be the one to initiate and maintain conversation.

As you might surmise, I have no 'real' friends. However, I feel that both I and them are probably better off for it. I'm perfectly fine with limited interactions with other people and I can maintain a nice facade long enough to get by.
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20 / F / Australia
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Posted 1/31/14
I'll try to keep this short and simple.
I dealt with this situation just last year with a person who was extremely condescending and a horrid person to have around.
The solution was to break it off. I wouldn't talk to her during school, absorbing myself in my studies (and this was understandable as it was our last year of study and our exams were important). We never hung out outside of school. I didn't use social networking sites much therefore no conversations occurred, and if they do, just ignore them. I ignored calls and pretended my phone was screwing up. You get the general gist of things. Eventually, I rid myself completely of her and it goes to show what a great friend she truly was because she didn't care at all. It was a slow and eventual break, however it was clean.
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25 / M / Fenix, AZ
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Posted 1/31/14 , edited 1/31/14
Sometimes that's just the way people are. If you feel that you are getting the wrong end of the deal then leave. If you aren't going to support them than it's better for the both of you. If that person cares about your friendship then they will attempt to make amends and change their behavior, if not than learn from your mistakes and don't allow it to happen again.
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31 / F / Wisconsin USA
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Posted 1/31/14 , edited 1/31/14

kokorowohiraite wrote:

I'll try to keep this short and simple.
I dealt with this situation just last year with a person who was extremely condescending and a horrid person to have around.
The solution was to break it off. I wouldn't talk to her during school, absorbing myself in my studies (and this was understandable as it was our last year of study and our exams were important). We never hung out outside of school. I didn't use social networking sites much therefore no conversations occurred, and if they do, just ignore them. I ignored calls and pretended my phone was screwing up. You get the general gist of things. Eventually, I rid myself completely of her and it goes to show what a great friend she truly was because she didn't care at all. It was a slow and eventual break, however it was clean.


I think I may just this is what I may have to do. A clean break.



rockadilla wrote:

Sometimes that's just the way people are. If you feel that you are getting the wrong end of the deal then leave. If you aren't going to support them than it's better for the both of you. If that person cares about your friendship then they will attempt to make amends and change their behavior, if not than learn from your mistakes and don't allow it to happen again.


Well I feel I have supported the person so much that they rely on me to much. I feel the person is using me more and more lately and only contacts me when something is wrong.

I view friendship as a two way street.

I usually try to chose my friends closely but there is a first time for everything and will not be letting this happen again.
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17 / M / United States
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Posted 2/1/14
im going thru the same issue now My "friend" stopped talking to me and telling his new friend secets I had told him. And hes telling my friends not to hang out with me so I went from 8 friends down to 1 in 1 school year.
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28 / F / Philippines
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Posted 2/1/14
toxic friend?
i used to have one.
it was during my grade school year.
after the incident we haven't talk even now.
well, there's no point of her being my friend anymore.
she did way too far already.
it doesn't make sense if we'll be friends again.
so, back off friend.
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