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Loneliness depressions
21016 cr points
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Posted 2/6/14
Play video game(online video game). You sound like you are a person who will get attached to this kind of game very easily.
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M / USA
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Posted 2/6/14
Music, sleeping, sports, working out, and anime usually do it for me. But sometimes there's stuff that really bothers me in which case I'll have to talk to someone. If you don't have anyone like that, you can try and find someone online...just be careful tho cuz you know...the internet lol. Anyway good luck!
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Posted 2/6/14
I just recently moved myself. I don't know how religious you are, but if you love God with all your heart, there is no open space for pain or depression. Plus, you can talk to Him whenever you're bored (IF you do indeed give your whole heart to the Lord), but it should be about something meaningful.
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24 / M / U.S.
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Posted 2/6/14
The kind I went through was boredom, not loneliness.
I wanted to fight depression but I don't recommend medications if you are very desperate to try them.

I highly suggest you get outside, exercise, stay positive and look for your future.
Honestly if you need to tell the person your feelings, do it cause they won't know what you are suffering through, hope they care the same way.
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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 2/6/14
Always tell someone who are willing to understand you. they'll do the're best to cure your heart, and that's also what true friends do to help.
Quarlo 
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M / San Antonio
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Posted 2/6/14
There is a Persian fable that describes a king who asks assembled wise men to create a ring that will make him happy when he is sad. After much deliberation the sages gave the king a ring with the inscription: This too shall pass.

Take a ball point pen and right on your palm "This too shall pass" and every time you feel sadness creeping in, open your palm.

Worked for me.
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20 / M
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Posted 2/6/14
Well, this is why therapy exists, it's not just for people who have "mental issues" sometime you just need someone to listen.
If that does't work ,then it why not pay him a visit? If you two go out and have a crazy night, I'm sure it'll leave you with a bit more closure.
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30 / M / Los Angeles, CA
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Posted 2/8/14
I've been there, did that.

Things will pass. It took me 2 years to get over something of equal pain.

My only real advice here is go out and do something, despite you never feeling in the mood. Occupy your time with friends, most importantly. Lay off the computer because you'll find you wasted your life away for something that doesn't give back to you.
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Posted 2/8/14
well I go through those depressed moments a lot. and I gotta say, it really helps if you have someone to share it with. if you got none, then try getting a piece of paper, a pen and write it down.. scribble it or whatsoever. just so to get it off your mind.. you cant really "stop" feeling depressed all you can do is try to get it off your head :] I know its difficult, there's just no easy way to it.

and in my case.. whenever im experiencing that, I usually just stare at my ceiling and letting my thoughts fly free. I usually end up crying outta no where but hey, at least they wont be kept inside of me
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Posted 2/8/14 , edited 2/8/14
Hope you feel better.

There can be a lot of reasons, but the most obvious reason that you mentioned as the source of your troubles is that you are alone. There are a lot of people who feel the way you do, and I think that is one of the reasons people are so heavily involved with consumerism. You see people defend games and books and "their" products, as if someone attacks them personally if their product is attacked. It is because people feel lonely, but also because, aside from things that get people together (like products they enjoy, shows they like to watch, etc) there is really nothing people do together anymore, and the things they WANT to do are considered so negative manner in society that people just want to hide those feelings, because people openly tell them things like "that's weird," or "isn't that moving too fast?" Take your plight for example; everyone wants a friend to sit around and talk to and B.S. with and (if they're cute members of the opposite sex) cuddle with, or if it's a member of the same sex you still might want a hug now and again, but the thing is, people act like it's weird to want that unless you've known the person for awhile or are in a specific, socially-defined relationship. The problem is, those relationships aren't actually defined; people are just awkward messes around each other until they can find an EXCUSE to do what they really want to do; feel love, feel closeness, not feel physically and emotionally separated from people.

Everyone wants emotional and physical closeness; and even if you don't want a romantic relationship, everyone wants a hug or even just contact now and again.

I think the real problem is that everyone makes a joke of things, and they are so attuned to the fast-paced life that they don't actually want a personal conversation. Wouldn't it be great if you could voice these feelings you have outside in your community? But people would look at you strange and say things that they always do to people who want a personal conversation: "You should keep that private," or "Isn't that a little too much information? We just met."

I would love to give random people hugs, even if I wasn't attracted to them at all. If I saw a person, I would find it awesome to walk up, give them a big ol hug and be like "Hey, let's try to get you where you need to be so you can be happy." But even if I was the happy one and someone else was the sad one, they would still be the ones to act like I'm the strange one. They'd be like "Uhh, who are you? Sorry, but no. It's personal."

People keep other people at an arm's length. That is reality, even for the happiest person alive. That being said, why are they so gosh darn happy?! The same rules apply to them as to you, why do THEY get the good feels?

The thing is, you have to work on you. Don't ignore your environment or people, that is part of your growing process, but realize that your happiness rests entirely on you as a person, and that your surroundings (including other people) can never, by themselves, make you happy. They are just part of you growing yourself.

A good way to think about it is to think about what I mentioned earlier; consumerism. Buying something (think of that as your environment) will get you no where. You didn't make it, it's just there. But think about it this way: What if instead of seeing consumerism from only the consumer perspective, you look at the market too. If you're just a consumer, you'll A) never have enough money for everything you want (just like you don't have as many friends as you want now), and you'll feel empty (you're depressed right now). But what if you really work on yourself and really learn your environment? Rather than endlessly buying things that leave you with an empty feelings, you'll still be able to buy things BUT you'll also be able to produce things! And these will be things other people want, and you will be a lot happier because you'll get to keep creating new things, and talking to people who relate to or need what you're selling. Plus you'll have a lot of money, which in and of itself isn't great, but it will provide you with the opportunity to create more great things and do great things with great people.

So how does consumerism apply to you, and what the heck is all of this?

I am saying that you can't narrow your view of happiness so that it only relies on other people; you're "consuming" those other people. This is a complex metaphor but I've found it to be true; everyone, even the happy people, are consumers. Everyone wants the same things. But happy people are also producers. They create happiness. Why do you think so many people love them? The people who love them are consumers; they eat away a bit at those people's happiness. So here's the complex part; if being with people makes people happy, how do the producers get all of this excess happiness to give away to people?

Here's the secret to life, my friend:

You need to balance two means of acquiring happiness:

The first thing you need is the producer-type happiness. That happiness comes from learning about yourself and how you are awesome. It is developed by working hard at what YOU like. It does and is supposed to limit your time with other people, and it should genuinely interest you and you should love it. If you don't know what that is, start looking for it now. I mean something that REALLY makes you happy, just for you. Not some random skill you can get good at to impress other people. A huge smile on your face because you love yourself will get you more friends than anything else in this planet.

The second is people, and this is how the market process works: You have an abundance of happiness. It makes other people feel happy, just by being around someone who is positive and HONESTLY happy, it rubs off on them. But there's a trade there; you have to give up something you enjoy (time doing what YOU love) to spend time with them. They know this. They don't mind this because they know people enjoy being with other people. So for you, you get a second form of happiness, but it IS at the cost of the first form of happiness. But think about it; people don't want to be lonely, so why would you be sad about giving up time doing what you love for something that makes you feel good? You don't actually lose anything, because you're not JUST a producer, either. If everyone were a producer, they'd have no one to sell their stuff to, and they'd be sad. If they only consume and never produce, again: sad. But do both? Yayy, happiness & friends.

Let me give you an example; look up "Nick Vujicic - DVD Part 1/11" on YouTube. That guy has no arms and no legs, and he can't do much as far as work goes. He can't give people assistance physically very easily; can type a bit but so could anyone else. But he's not just a consumer, either. He's a producer and consumer (I believe in the series he says "I love love," at some point). And all he has to offer is his own happiness, and people LOVE that he is so happy, they want to be his friend they want his attention, they would love to have some of his time. And he loves giving his time and receiving other people's time. He's even married to a beautiful woman, and again, in their relationship she just gets his love and his time and his happiness.

So don't be sad about him being gone; it is definitely okay to miss him, but he's not you. You are amazing on your own, and if you want to keep him as a friend, you can. Or if not, don't. But either way you are awesome and you need to figure out how to be happy for you. After you have that, you'll have any number of people willing to trade your happy self-time for happy people- time.

Hope this helps a bit, and good luck.

edit:

Oh yeah you can send me a message to my inbox if you'd like to talk. Usually I'm on here at least every 2 days, I love anime.
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23 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 2/8/14
I recommend alcohol.
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24 / M
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Posted 2/21/14
its friday.... went to a bar with some people, im drunk and alone now in my house. dont care if anyone reads this, just need some stress releaf. i want to go back, to were im happy and with people who understand me. i should have nevr left, i miss her so much... i just wish i can say sorry. i just feeal so emprty and alone............................................................................................................
amc20 
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M / SJ,CA, USA
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Posted 2/21/14
for a 19 year old i recommend go have some fun to your standards ... if you want to do something social online go for youtube like reviewing things you like or blog ... in real life i honestly don't know since im pretty introverted so i tend not to go out unless i know some in the outside world that is going to the place im going to though recently found an internship in politics though i really hate politics as a career i am having a blast doing it ... so i guess just go out explore them clubs i guess ... another way to combat loneliness is to confront it i guess and talk to the family
One Punch Mod
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F / Boston-ish
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Posted 12/27/15
Year-end cleaning. Closing threads with no new posts since 2014.
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