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Nice guy vs Jerk?
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23 / M / Urbana
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Posted 2/9/14
What do you guys think about the nice and jerk. Being the jerk always gets the girl, however being nice gets you the girl sometimes but with a lot of more work. I personally can not be a jerk if I actually like the girl but if i just want something else i can.
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M / Vancouver, BC, Ca...
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Posted 2/9/14
I look like I'd be a jerk so girls talk to me but when they find out I'm a nice guy they leave
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23 / M / U.S
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Posted 2/9/14
Usually girls who like nice guys go to church every saturday or sunday.... Which i know i dont go to.
Girls that like jerks can be found at several locations: Barbs, Clubs and Party.
Or that's what i think, i could be wrong since i am not an expert
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23 / F / philippines
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Posted 2/9/14
that's not so true...well at least to me. Jerks makes you think that they can leave you and find another woman so I'm betting on nicer dudes. Plus jerks have bad reputation!
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23 / F / philippines
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Posted 2/9/14

Lionsito wrote:

Usually girls who like nice guys go to church every saturday or sunday.... Which i know i dont go to.
Girls that like jerks can be found at several locations: Barbs, Clubs and Party.
Or that's what i think, i could be wrong since i am not an expert :tears:


I think you're right.
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23 / M / U.S
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Posted 2/9/14

tsukushi_ryuechiz wrote:

that's not so true...well at least to me. Jerks makes you think that they can leave you and find another woman so I'm betting on nicer dudes. Plus jerks have bad reputation!


We can all agree that depends on the female choice.
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31 / M / The Abyss of Time
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Posted 2/9/14 , edited 2/9/14
Nice guys will generally have to go through a lot of emotional pain cause they actually care about whoever. They're loyal and reliable thus become 'meh' or 'boring'. If they dare to say their feelings then most likely they get tossed away (if other party isn't mature enough to deal with the knowledge) or they actually get the other party (rarely, in my experience). Nice guys get to watch ppl they care about get emotionally torn down and are expected not to react at all to it -.-

Jerks get away with stuff for shallow reasons (handsome, confident, rich, etc) and never really have to try to help the other party emotionally. But hey they're confident, handsome, rich, or whatever so what does it matter, right? They can walk away at any time thus keeping things 'exciting'

I'd associate more with 'nice guy' than jerk easily. I'd rather be there for someone than not, but unfortunately this isn't what appeals to others so whatever. Most would rather have the 'fanservice' over the actual emotional support and caring. Though I admit to being extremely jaded in this regard so extremely biased
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24 / F / USA
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Posted 2/9/14
I prefer nice guys personally. Jerks don't usually last and are just jerks.
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23 / M / Between Goku's st...
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Posted 2/9/14
It's all about balance imo. I'm always nice around females but I also need to show confidence if I wanna have a chance with them.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 2/9/14
I rather have a combination of a nice guy and bad boy.
Just my opinion.
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24 / cheesecakes
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Posted 2/9/14
Personally I just want somene who's real
Guys and people in general who fake a trait just to impress is lame.
Ppl who are overly nice make me doubtful if they want something in return, or if they'll get offended if I don't want the same thing as they do (such as friendzoning. Lots of guys complain about being friendzoned and many even blame and shame the ones who reject them)
Jerks who are completely heartless and don't give a shit at all if they did something wrong aren't even a bit attractive.
This also applies to girls since I'm not even sure if I'm straight anymore.
Dealing and understanding ppl is too complicayed for me
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22 / M
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Posted 2/9/14
Hm. Well, I don't really care about most people. I'll go the extra mile to help a damsel in distressed, but I couldn't care less about being nice to anyone else unless I want something/have something planned/need the connections. That doesn't mean I make an effort to be mean. I just don't make an effort one way or another to be nice or mean.
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36 / M / Denver
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Posted 2/9/14
There is no question that being a jerk gets more women. Women typically don't even know why. It's evolutionary psychology.

I've spent years understanding how the mechanic works. One of my best friends wrote a book on picking up women, and although he knows a bit more than I do, we're on the same page.

The core of acting like a jerk is pretending you are, or have the things that the alpha male should. You do have to distinguish between being a jerk and simply not being boring, though. There are also ramifications for which age bracket you're working with. From my observation, being a good man doesn't mean anything when she's under 25. They will all claim it does, but the proof just isn't there. There are too many other prospects for them.

Of course the worst part is that utilizing "proper dating psychology" is basically triggering a mental reflex in women for them to prove themselves worthy. To me it's just mental abuse which I won't take part in.

I frankly refuse to engage the process anymore. I've been single most of my life, been in love twice, almost married once, and I accept that I will be single for the rest of it. I act like a man should, and women will neurotically go on picking those that hurt them, or pursuing whatever fickle and shallow prerequisites they have these days. That's the entire equation. I will act with kindness, caring, integrity, and all the things women should want, and anyone who doesn't pass through that screen deserves what they wind up with.

In my experience, nice guys go one of three routes: they give up and become jerks, they give in to their weakness and take anyone who will accept them, or they get lucky and it works out (this is extremely rare).

Let me give you nice guys a fourth route: don't be single because you're a loser. Be single because you have a lot to give, because you've worked on yourself emotionally and spiritually, because you know what you want out of life and how to get there, because you have integrity and principles, talents and knowledge, because you know how to treat a woman and you refuse to be a jackass to get women to take notice. For as long as you will be single during and after that (oh, you will be), you will find that decision MUCH easier to live with, even peaceful if you have the strength to stick to your guns. Let the other people have their lunacy.

As for the typical nice-guy problem of being a doormat, let me give you another piece of advice. Women have "roles" for the men in their lives. I would know, I've been in all of them, platonic or otherwise. If any friendzoning is going to happen, make sure you draw the lines on certain behaviors where they should be. This can be difficult if you don't have experience, so use this as a guideline: don't do anything her boyfriend should be doing, and if she's single, don't do those things if she's not your girlfriend. Simple. This is nothing more than making her responsible for the decisions that she's made. Don't be surprised when it costs you female "friends".

In my experience, most men who are single spend most of their time trying to get attached as fast as possible. Don't do that. Go work on being a better man. Do it because you should, not because it's going to hook you up (because most likely it won't).
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20 / F / B-612
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Posted 2/9/14
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22 / M
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Posted 2/9/14


Obviously the only route to go is be an insane guy, like me.
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