First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  Next  Last
Nice guy vs Jerk?
Posted 2/10/14
Im usally a jerk, but that's just how I am, but when I have a thing for a girl I turn into the nicest guy ever. It sorta just happens I don't even know why myself, probably that thing were a person brings out the best of you or something.
Rohzek 
15004 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M
Offline
Posted 2/10/14
Nice guy vs. jerk? I'm a pretty cynical person, so I tend to think anyone who goes for a jerk is simply a very shallow person and probably not worth my time. I say this out of experience.

I really don't like this false dichotomy between nice guy = no chick, and jerk = chick. If a girl doesn't choose you, then it probably wasn't meant to be. Maybe she will choose a prick. Maybe she will choose another good guy. It depends. There is nothing wrong with giving it one or two go's at a chick before accepting the fact that you've been rejected. But after that, move on. If you try to force it, or play it like some chess game, you'll just wind up wasting your time or worse.

Market yourself, reject those you don't like, and move on from the ones who reject you. Eventually you'll find someone.
9018 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / SABER
Offline
Posted 2/10/14
girls that like jerks = Slu*ts Girls the like nice guys = cant answer never seen this happen in my time which is still young, i hope, but i have no luck anyways so i might as well become a, whatever the people who live in mountains for their entire lives and associate with no ones but themselves, yeah that kind of person
Posted 2/10/14
Doesn't matter. Everyone has their own definition of a nice person.
216 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 2/10/14
I appear to be a jerk, but am a nice guy. Girls don't like me though
Posted 2/10/14 , edited 2/10/14
even tho i always love the bad boy jerks in movies and books, i have ALWAYS gone for the nice guy. all my boyfriends have been the 'nice' 'friend' type of character idk why irl am just attracted to those sort of guy. though i have to admit it can get boring after awhile and i get tire of feeling like am the only one wanting to keep the excitement alive!!

am guessing that may be why most girl go for the jerk, cus they are exciting and like dominant and not a pushover! girls like strong, opinionated men like that.

but it is not like the nice guy is never going to win a girl, it is possible cus there are girls out there that like that kind! maybe try to be a little more unpredictable or something to excite their attention!
14648 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M / Philippines
Offline
Posted 2/10/14
my motto is if they can't love you for being nice, they have messed up heads, or they're hoping to be battered women someday. if they can't value guys who are nice, then they're not worth it. just keep waiting for the right one to roll in.
37230 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M
Offline
Posted 2/10/14
Considering I'm not a women this is a complete guess, but I think that at first women prefer the jerk for the excitement and something new, but when they decide to have a family ( if they do) they'll settle with a nice guy.
25344 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / Various
Offline
Posted 2/10/14

xCrimsonEX wrote:

Did you toss away your own wants, style, hobbies, sense of self in order to become how you are? If so then yes I'd say you're a sell-out, in that you sold out who you were to become someone that you though others would want. By definition elitist means you consider yourself above others or better than them. The difference between you and others above me (whatever that means) is that you are trying to say that your way is better than mine, essentially trying to lay the idea that it is the 'right way' and any others are inferior. I'd rather be a muggle than an arrogant tool so we're even. Entitled implies I expect something from nothing, that I expect women to just simply like me, however thats not the case. I see it as being there for someone being worth far far more than simply some shallow trait. Then by that logic I guess all women should get implants + various other plastic surgeries cause its the same basic principle just transferred from one gender to the other. You seem to really have this idea that I think women are weak when the situation is quite the opposite. Everyone has a breaking point and/or needs time to let out their feelings or to let down their guard, even the most emotionally strong person will need this regardless of gender, the one you turn to when you're in that weakened state and who helps you out of it should logically get some affection since they obviously are showing they care about you (instead of blowing you off like its none of their concern).


I can ask you the same thing, but I'll word it a bit differently. Are you telling me you never changed your desires, style, hobbies or "sense of self"? I will admit, I used to be a selfish, moody, spoiled little kid. I would cry if i didn't get fed on time, or didn't get my diapers changed. I was an attention hog and requires my parents be there for me at my beck and call. I sold-out from that, since you know, society kinda expects you to grow up, learn how to feed yourself and go to the potty on your own. I get this feeling you think I'm advocating everyone be like me... for God's sake please don't! I like being a rather unique person. It irritates some people to no end, but I'm comfortable with it. It doesn't really bother me that much what labels you put on me... sell-out, elitist, you seem to be very sure of the labels you put on other people, but rather defensive when you get a label yourself. I'll accept it, I'm an elitist sell-out! I'm sorry I inferred you were an entitled whiner, honestly, what do I know about you? Our disagreement seems to be that you think the jerk vs. nice guy dichotomy exists and is prevalent, and I think it's an excuse made up by those who haven't been very successful with the opposite sex. I argue that those who aren't very successful with women should go and find ways to improve how they present themselves, you content that doing such things is selling out, and instead it should be women who notice your all so amazing deep traits of loyalty and caring, and it should trump all those other shallow traits like attractiveness and confidence. I don't see us being swayed one way or another in our worldview. I pursue relationships, like I pursue most things in my life - I go and make thing happen for me, rather than waiting for things to happen to me. I think women deserve more than someone who will simply be there for them, I think they deserve someone who will take them on adventures, who will make them happy, make them sad, make them angry, make them laugh, make them experience life dynamically, and in the end still love them. That is my sense of self, and I don't see myself "selling out" of that anytime soon.
852 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M
Offline
Posted 2/10/14
I never thought it was about being a jerk. I always thought it was about being a badass.
18917 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 2/10/14
I used to play the nice guy, and it is a massive waste of time and effort. The only thing it got me was a few cheating girlfriends during high school and some really crappy relationships. But, at the same time, I won't pretend to be something I am not. If a girl doesn't like me, then she shouldn't bother with me. I have been single for the past four years, and I would rather continue beating my record than waste my time catering to someone who doesn't accept me for who I am.
6383 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M / The Abyss of Time
Offline
Posted 2/10/14 , edited 2/10/14

Hayagriva



By shallow level I mean things like looks, confidence, wealth, social standing. "That guy is so hot I think I'm in love with him." (its a very very exaggerated example but I'm trying to keep this short and simple) = shallow yet its why most fall for the 'jerks'. I was basically just trying to not link you to my opinion as I misunderstood you, I wasn't per se trying to contradict you or anything. Also after re-reading your post I found the two parts that I agreed with fully:



So, there's why I originally said I fully agreed with you, admittedly after skimming over it.


antx0r



Nope, never have I altered myself as I'm fine with the way I am. Like I said the attitude to conform to others' view of 'attractive' or w/e annoys me to no end. Why should society get to decide how I am? It doesn't. I can provide for myself without the need to sacrifice who I am, changing who you are is not 'growing up' its allowing others' to decide who you are. I've always been the guy that sits in the corner of the room quietly observing people without any real desire to strike up a conversation. I will say that thanks to various experiences in my life I have grown very jaded in this regard. My aim was more your view than you, the view you presented was what came across as 'elitist' and/or 'sell-out' and really if you haven't sacrificed things about yourself in order to reach where you are then the answer to if you're a sell-out or not would be no. It literally comes down to if you are you or if you allowed others to turn you into someone else to be 'acceptable' or not. I wouldn't say I was defensive towards you, its just matter of fact that I don't fit the label you provided as I explained. I flip your question back to you to reinforce the fact that I was aiming at your 'view' rather than you, as I don't know you thus I only have your 'view' to judge. I've seen females being hurt by the 'fanservice' males and complain about them, while not even noticing the best friend thats there to support them and would be perfect for them. 'Nice guys' are used as emotional pillows and then thrown away while 'bad boys' or 'jerks' or whatever example you want to provide are cherished for doing basically nothing.


I think women deserve more than someone who will simply be there for them, I think they deserve someone who will take them on adventures, who will make them happy, make them sad, make them angry, make them laugh, make them experience life dynamically, and in the end still love them.


This we agree on, though from different views. The 'nice guy' can do all of these things however because he may not be 'fanservice' type he's overshadowed by the 'fanservice' types, then the female ends up hurt and the 'nice guy' has to see her hurt.
Ghost Moderator
AHTL 
87723 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / Norway
Online
Posted 2/10/14
Allegedly "nice guys" are the actual jerks.


So in truth, this thread is a "delusional jerks vs jerks" comparison.
mdz09 
26209 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M / tempe az
Offline
Posted 2/11/14
the trick is you have to act like a nice guy, but then even it out with being a dick at other times as well. you gotta find that balance. like open doors for her, then belittle the shit outta her later on. fuck with their self esteem a bit and your golden.
Posted 2/11/14
Nice guys gets the girls..

Jerks gets their vajay.
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.