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Testifying Against a Friend
1078 cr points
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23 / M / Shinagawa
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Posted 2/27/14
Hello CR. I am 21 years old and I've never been in court in my life. Except as a field trip in High School. My friend is going on this medicine because he is depressed and he shouldn't mix this drink with alcohol. But he did... He can actually do it to a certain level. So we were at this party and he drank to much and got violent. So I try to get him out, but he refuses and even threatens me at one point. So after a while, the host pushed him out of the appartment to the stairwell. I followed, they closed the door and he start going down the stairs. Suddenly my the whole stairwell is echoing with a loud noice. And I look to my right and see my friend smashing the glas window with his bare hand. Several punches and gets going. After a while, police arrive and I tell them what I saw. Now there will be trail, because during the police hearing, my friend changed his story a bit from 1st hearing to 2nd. So here we are, in shit. Mostly him though... He sort of asked me to say that I was very drunk (I Wasn't) and that I should say "I don't remember so well". But I really don't feel like lying to court, even though his attorney told him that I will get away with it.

Anyway, I don't feel like taking this bullet. He knew the risks of his medicine with alcohol and he smashed the window. I have plans of my own and I don't want to put myself at risk here.

What do you think?
GreatS 
34396 cr points
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Posted 2/27/14
My 2 cents would be that you should be honest with the police - even possibly to the point that you were requested to lie - , but make sure to tell your friend this beforehand. Yes, this indeed can mean that you guys won't be friends afterwards, but if that's the case then your probably better of that way. However if you're good friends and you do tell this beforehand I would give it a fair chance that it will work out well and there might even be a chance that he will decide to just live up to his responsibilities (which I at least think is a good thing for him as well... but that might be just me).
18054 cr points
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Posted 2/27/14
Are you still going to be his friend after this?

What does it take for you to categorize someone a "friend"?
36585 cr points
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27 / M / Massachusetts
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Posted 2/27/14
Honestly don't lie in court. I know you may have feelings to help your friend out, but if they catch you it's you who is in a world of shit. Part of drinking is drinking responsibly, which your friend didn't do and now must pay the price. If he knew the meds he was on was going to be amplified by alcohol he shouldn't be drinking or at least not that much. He has no one to blame except himself for this and you should in no way feel bad for stating the truth in this matter. It's for his own good that you do this.
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50 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 2/27/14
Don't lie.

Perjury can get you in jail longer than you friend for breaking a window.

Also better him getting charged for breaking a window and getting help vs. down the road him driving drunk.
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20 / M / Eng Land
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Posted 2/27/14 , edited 2/27/14
Good God yes, do NOT risk lying in court. If they find you out then you're in for a world of shit. Honestly, your friend sounds like he's trying to drag you down with him. A guy who's willing to have you risk yourself to save his own ass isn't worth being friends with in the first place. It's HE who is in the wrong at the moment, don't throw yourself into the mix whatever you do.

Like you say, he knew the risks and, like an idiot, he went through with it anyway. Saying things like 'I don't remember so well' is one of the number one guilty lines that a court will pick up on, and they'll instantly suspect something's up. You haven't committed an offence yet, but the second you lie to the court you have a reason to be afraid. Don't risk your safety in something like this on a 50/50 chance.

There's a bigger chance of him feeling compelled to do something stupid like this again if he doesn't receive punishment for his actions. It's best for everyone if he learns that when you act like a prat, the law will have a few words with you. Don't risk it. If you're found out lying you could have to serve a sentence, and while that sentence may last even a while (despite how horrible it would be) the crime of perjury will stick with your name forever.
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37 / M / Canada
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Posted 2/27/14
Lying in court is known as perjury which is considered a crime, your friend choices got him in the gutter no need to be dragged down with him.
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23 / M / Ohio
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Posted 2/27/14
sounds like he needs some help and because of that you shouldnt lie if he really is your freind
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25 / M / Seattle, WA, USA
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Posted 2/27/14 , edited 2/27/14
Please don't lie in court... He is a shitty friend to try and get you to break the law anyway. There is no "moral decision", you know the right thing to do.
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22 / M / England
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Posted 2/27/14
I agree with these guys lying in court and getting found out means you would definitely be in trouble. Your friend may want your help to get him out of this situation but even if a friendship is on the line its not worth the risk. Also good luck
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49 / F / Center of the Uni...
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Posted 2/27/14 , edited 2/27/14
you're looking at two different ethical codes, and also pragmatic realities.

First one is the idea of honesty. Many of us lie. or shade the truth. but that doesn't make it right.
the other one is the idea of 'loyalty and the 'sin' which are most commonly laid at it's door: 'narcing' or 'ratting'. This idea that narcing or ratting violates the virtue of loyalty is usually imposed upon us by the groups to which we belong . It can have it's connections with the concepts of confidentiality and privacy. However often in group dynamics Loyalty is a one way street and people who will happily throw you under the bus to save their skin, will expect sacrifices from you.

Finally there's the practical consequences, Jail time for being caught committing perjury, loss of friendship, being labeled a 'rat' etc.

Probably the healthiest to think about is WHO you are? ask yourself "who are you?" does honesty trump loyalty in your books? Are there conditions where it's okay to lie under YOUR personal code, Are there situations where truth and integrity trump 'loyalty? Who are you? what matters most to you and makes you... you. If you do not honour that very personal concept, you will regret any choice you make. If you do honour it, no matter what else happens you will have the knowledge that you were true to your self.

Something to remember is that your friend's lawyer is NOT your friend. His job is to get your friend off the hook however he can. and if that means feeding you to the lions. Sucks to be you.

Another thing to consider is if you value honesty. you should be straight up with what you plan to do, when you speak to your friend and his lawyer.

Remember if you're called as a witness, that neither the defense nor the prosecution are your friends. Their job is to twist your words to serve THEIR ends. And to make you appear to be something that strengthens or weakens what you intend to say. If a lawyer finds what you say to be detrimental to his task, it is his job to make you look, dishonest, confused, mean spirited, or just plain stupid, in order to disqualify or diminish your testimony.


IMO the best thing you can do is to be useless to both parties and try and get out of it.

If you do have to speak. leave your opinions at home. simply state what you are certain your saw or heard and don't let either party lead you into speculation or judgement.

However, I don't walk in your shoes.

30236 cr points
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 2/27/14 , edited 2/27/14
Screw him.
He's dangerous and you seem to have the wrong personality / mind set to handle that kind of caustic.
Edit, if you don't trust his judgement then you probably shouldn't take his advice.
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(´◔౪◔)✂❤
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Posted 2/27/14
I knew bitches who gets themselves into shit and expect the world to save them. It time they experience the world of hurt that they created for themselves. Friends come and leave. Keep your friends close, but your ass closer. In this world, the only ass you need to save is yours
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27 / F / Canada
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Posted 2/27/14 , edited 2/27/14
What can be gained after lying about it? He'll probably just do it again ... and since he got out of it last time, he will probably feel more confident the second time around. He has no right to even ask you to lie for him when he got so violent to the point that he even threatened your safety! He needs help. I think for his own good, you should tell the truth. As his friend, you're not helping him by lying about his actions.
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25 / M / Inside Lorreen's...
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Posted 2/27/14
As a fellow human, I pretty much follow the judgment of save your own ass. Your friend is clearly unstable, from your description that doesn't even sound like depression or depression medicine, never once while depressed did I think "Oh hey i'm going to go smash a window now cause I got thrown out of a party for drinking too much." nor was any of my medication supposed to make me angry if I were to drink alcohol with it.

Putting that aside though he should have known what would happen if he drank and got out of control, don't save his ass at the risk of your own. Lying in court and getting caught as others have said is worse than what your friend will probably face for breaking a window and possibly losing a friendship with an otherwise unstable person.

But to each their own, I wouldn't save my friends ass if they did something like this, and I know they wouldn't save mine.
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