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The Friendzone...
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Posted 3/1/14 , edited 9/12/14

Sornette wrote:


BLACKOUTMK2 wrote:

Honestly, I'm the nice guy who's only ever the friend, but I'm actually okay with that. It saves a lot of hassle. You can say I'm bragging about saying I'm a 'nice guy' but really? I help others wherever I can, I've never started a fight nor been in one, I've never made any enemies, I've made people laugh a lot and don't recall ever making anyone sad on purpose. What, does that mean I'm an over-confident asshole? Now, I value friendship very much and for now it's enough for me, but I don't see why saying you're a nice guy instantly means you're probably a bragging overentitled prick as some people on this forum believe, as if saying something like 'well I'm not a bad guy' makes you infinitely more respectable. I don't expect a relationship out of girls because I'm nice to them, but I DO expect decency and kindness from them, or anyone in general, in return.


You put value in things that will result in good outcomes. What do you mean by "saves a lot of hassle?" Take a chance.


By 'saves a lot of hassle' I mean I just don't see it working out given how I'm only 17. I don't feel like a relationship would be neccessary nor completely stable at that age. People are more prone to moving around, not as settled, and it can cause complications. I could take a chance, but I want to wait until I find someone who I'm 100% convinced is right for me, and I'm 100% right for them so we can both be properly happy. Maybe it sounds like an idealistic fantasy of sorts, but I don't want to jump into a relationship for no reason.
Posted 3/1/14
Usually, those prone to getting friendzoned doesn't really mean that they're actually "nice." I'd know, I was the same. I thought it was because I was being a "nice guy," but in the end, I was just a selfless guy that prioritized making others happy before myself. Because of that, girls never knew my true feelings--and it wasn't until I literally went out and said "I need a sex friend" that I left the friendzone. We don't have that much sex though... the irony.

Other things worth noting:
It's always best to make yourself happy in tandem with making others happy.
Friendzone is just as bad a place for girls as well. My other friends, as well as my gf's friends are always gawking about it...
Posted 3/1/14 , edited 3/1/14

BLACKOUTMK2 wrote:


Sornette wrote:


BLACKOUTMK2 wrote:

Honestly, I'm the nice guy who's only ever the friend, but I'm actually okay with that. It saves a lot of hassle. You can say I'm bragging about saying I'm a 'nice guy' but really? I help others wherever I can, I've never started a fight nor been in one, I've never made any enemies, I've made people laugh a lot and don't recall ever making anyone sad on purpose. What, does that mean I'm an over-confident asshole? Now, I value friendship very much and for now it's enough for me, but I don't see why saying you're a nice guy instantly means you're probably a bragging overentitled prick as some people on this forum believe, as if saying something like 'well I'm not a bad guy' makes you infinitely more respectable. I don't expect a relationship out of girls because I'm nice to them, but I DO expect decency and kindness from them, or anyone in general, in return.


You put value in things that will result in good outcomes. What do you mean by "saves a lot of hassle?" Take a chance.


By 'saves a lot of hassle' I mean I just don't see it working out given how I'm only 17. I don't feel like a relationship would be neccessary nor completely stable at that age. People are more prone to moving around, not as settled, and it can cause complications. I could take a chance, but I want to wait until I find someone who I'm 100% convinced is right for me, and I'm 100% right for them so we can both be properly happy. Maybe it sounds like an idealistic fantasy of sorts, but I don't want to jump into a relationship for no reason.


Prudent?


I approve.


Idealistic?
Might not be good for the long run, via experience is how you know better what is right for you.
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Posted 3/1/14 , edited 9/12/14
There's no such thing as a "friend zone."

It is nothing more than a psychological construct derived from emotionally immature people without real self-esteem or personal confidence who actually believe that women/men are some sort of sex vending machine powered by kindness coins. You need to realize that the people you are lusting after (while mistaking it for love) have the ability to decide for themselves if they like you or are interested in you. When it becomes obvious that person does not see you the same way you see them move on.

For the "guys":

Emo and self-pity are narcissism disguised as depth, this is why women will resent your woe-is-me attention grabs and keep you at arms length. Women will construe your excessive emotionality and want as "feminine and needy"; most women will lose themselves in and feel most secure in a mans masculinity. Women are emotional and neurotic enough without having to deal with your BS.

For the "Girls":

Stop leading them on, you know full well when your "friend" likes you a lot more than you like him. It does not matter how you rationalize not wanting to hurt someone you need to make it perfectly clear that you are not interested; this goes doubly when you vent how much you dislike your BF to him. All this does is mix signals to someone who already does not understand how to read them, never use your "friend" because you know you can get away with it.
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Posted 3/1/14 , edited 9/12/14

Sornette wrote:


BLACKOUTMK2 wrote:


Sornette wrote:


BLACKOUTMK2 wrote:

Honestly, I'm the nice guy who's only ever the friend, but I'm actually okay with that. It saves a lot of hassle. You can say I'm bragging about saying I'm a 'nice guy' but really? I help others wherever I can, I've never started a fight nor been in one, I've never made any enemies, I've made people laugh a lot and don't recall ever making anyone sad on purpose. What, does that mean I'm an over-confident asshole? Now, I value friendship very much and for now it's enough for me, but I don't see why saying you're a nice guy instantly means you're probably a bragging overentitled prick as some people on this forum believe, as if saying something like 'well I'm not a bad guy' makes you infinitely more respectable. I don't expect a relationship out of girls because I'm nice to them, but I DO expect decency and kindness from them, or anyone in general, in return.


You put value in things that will result in good outcomes. What do you mean by "saves a lot of hassle?" Take a chance.


By 'saves a lot of hassle' I mean I just don't see it working out given how I'm only 17. I don't feel like a relationship would be neccessary nor completely stable at that age. People are more prone to moving around, not as settled, and it can cause complications. I could take a chance, but I want to wait until I find someone who I'm 100% convinced is right for me, and I'm 100% right for them so we can both be properly happy. Maybe it sounds like an idealistic fantasy of sorts, but I don't want to jump into a relationship for no reason.


Prudent?


I approve.


Idealistic?
Might not be good for the long run, via experience is how you know better what is right for you.


First off, nice gif. Second of all, I think I'm all right waiting for a little while. Like I said, since I'm 17 it's not like I don't have plenty of time left to find someone. Hell, I've never even had a relationship before, at least not a romantically involved one. I've been patient enough with holding out until now, what's a few more years, I suppose?
Posted 3/1/14 , edited 3/1/14

BLACKOUTMK2 wrote:



First off, nice gif. Second of all, I think I'm all right waiting for a little while. Like I said, since I'm 17 it's not like I don't have plenty of time left to find someone. Hell, I've never even had a relationship before, at least not a romantically involved one. I've been patient enough with holding out until now, what's a few more years, I suppose?


I see. I would consider the possibility that you might die any moment. I do however, think that you can be proud of yourself for being the nice guy you are. No regrets.
Posted 3/1/14 , edited 3/1/14
I really hate hearing 'nice guys finish last'.
What I think is, anyone can be nice in the beginning, and you could be an asshole but you prob don't think that way.
Couple of my friends kept saying that line, seriously? They have a bit of asshole side in them.
Just because you're nice doesn't mean you can get the girl.
If it doesn't work out, move on.
Not just guys get friend zone, girls too.
I have been friendzone in high school, it took me few months to tell him, turns out he only see me as a good friend.
Yeah it hurts but I don't friggin bitch at my friends. I just accepted and moved on.
Sorry for my bad English, how I think of it... We're all nice, we're all assholes, the other person don't accept you not because you're great. They prob don't see it work, maybe you don't have a job and they see themselves taking care of you, maybe you're lazy, there's a lot of reasons. Or..: maybe you're just not their type -A-'

Some of my friends told me how they felt, I'm flattered I'm happy they did, I just tell them straight up. If they don't want to talk to me for a while I'll understand. I will still see them as a friend only. I will never lead them on and waste their time.
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19 / M / detroit, Michigan
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Posted 3/1/14
Girls do get placed in the friendzone! The friendzone is basically unrequited love, and everyone has experienced that.
Anathe 
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Posted 3/1/14
The problem is your approach.

If you're the shoulder someone cries on, you're already just a friend.

If you want to be with someone, you have to let them know. Your approach might be helping you avoid flat rejections, but it's 100% guaranteed to never get you where you want to be. If you like someone, FLAT OUT TELL THEM: "I'd like to go out with you".

Do not expect people to take your less than romantic overtures as romantic, because it will not happen. Passive people finish last ALWAYS.
You can easily be the nice person you claim to be and also be a go-getter. Going out and seeking what you desire has nothing to do with being a decent person.

So what are you waiting for? Stop waiting for this person to look at you romantically when you've never said anything to make them feel that way. You're being her mother, not her lover.

And if you have made an obvious overture and been flatly rejected, then move on.

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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 3/1/14 , edited 3/1/14
Friendzone is not so bad, I wouldn't mind having more friends

I don't have many friends, so why not?
Posted 3/1/14 , edited 3/1/14

qualeshia3 wrote:

Females get placed in the friendzone too.


That's true as hard as it is to believe it. Guys at school claim they want a girl who knows the difference between a PS3 and Wii. A 'gamer' girl for better terms. And then once they find a nice girl that's well educated on N64s and played the original Super Smash they're like nope and turn around and date the much hotter female. I'm not saying that's what happens all the time, but you know xD .
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Posted 3/1/14

Lady-Lillypadz wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Females get placed in the friendzone too.


That's true as hard as it is to believe it. Guys at school claim they want a girl who knows the difference between a PS3 and Wii. A 'gamer' girl for better terms. And then once they find a nice girl that's well educated on N64s and played the original Super Smash they're like nope and turn around and date the much hotter female. I'm not saying that's what happens all the time, but you know xD .


I laughed pretty hard at this post, it's the perfect gender flipped rant of the "nice guy".

But yea.... speaking of friendzone... Has there been an anime where a character gets rejected or freindzoned hard? I can only think of Golden Time's Koko.

Actually, Koko is the perfect example of the "nice guy" just female. She couldn't take a hint to save her life. OH! WE WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS PLZ MARRY ME!!!!
Posted 3/1/14



I laughed pretty hard at this post, it's the perfect gender flipped rant of the "nice guy".

But yea.... speaking of friendzone... Has there been an anime where a character gets rejected or freindzoned hard? I can only think of Golden Time's Koko.

Actually, Koko is the perfect example of the "nice guy" just female. She couldn't take a hint to save her life. OH! WE WERE CHILDHOOD FRIENDS PLZ MARRY ME!!!!


Thanks I do enjoy ranting xD . And I don't know the only majorly friend-zoned person I can think of is Ash Ketchum ._.
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31 / M / The Abyss of Time
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Posted 3/1/14

Lady-Lillypadz


The guys around you are idiots -end of story-
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 3/1/14

Shin-Nrl wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


Shin-Nrl wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Females get placed in the friendzone too.


No they don't


Yeah they do.


Have you ever saw a girl crying and whinning because a guy put her in the friend zone because he don't want to be her boyfriend ? I don't think so.


Do you whine and cry?
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