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Friends don't stay in touch
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26 / F / USA
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Posted 3/13/14

demongurrl13 wrote:

I'm that kind of friend. I'm also upfront with people about it so those who choose to be friends with me know not to expect a 'hey, what's up?' text from me out f the blue. Probably the main reason why I have very few friends.

You need to understand that some people are actual introverts. I, personally, prefer to stay home by myself most days. The only time I'm not home is when I'm working or on Saturdays when I go hang out with the bf... All other days, I'm pretty easy to find. If I'm not at work, I'm home. I also barely use my phone. I don't like texting or talking on the phone very much, though I do tell people to feel free and send me a text if they need anything. Text messages I usually answer unless I'm really busy at that moment.



Samesies. I have to try really hard and force myself to remember that I need to try texting people back/more in general. I've gotten a lot better at keeping in touch in the past few years, but all my close friends know that I still have this issue. I really prefer being by myself a lot. It's probably weird for many people to be alone for long stretches of time, but that's when I feel most comfortable. I don't even notice how much time passes. It used to be that while I was in college, all my friends would say, before each break, "Hey, check your phone over break, okay? Don't fall off the face of the earth."

Currently, I'm trying to be more in the initiator role, since all my friends are like me, either attending graduate school/about to start, or settling into careers. That's usually when people start to lose touch because they get so busy. It's kind of inevitable. Graduate school takes up a lot of time, and most of my friends are in healthcare, like me, which leaves very little time for socializing. Because we're in different programs, having any coinciding free time is pretty much a miracle. And we're all guilty of forgetting to text each other back for long stretches of time. Even my friends who used to be the most social. I think we all wish we could still see each other almost every day like we did in undergrad, when we were in the same classes, but there's just a lot you need to sacrifice in order to reach the place you want to be, and all of us understand that.
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30 / M / Central KY.
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Posted 3/13/14
If We're going by "Websters", I honestly doubt that I've ever had a true Friend. I've always gotten used by 90% of the People that I've spent any of My time around. Dishonesty and thievery have literally driven Me to an isolation that, at times I feel kinda bad over; Like You, OP...Feeling like I should do something about it. But Agoraphobia, restlessness, depression, increasing misanthropy, and an overall feeling of anhedonia have left Me feeling just like throwing My hands in the air and saying, "So what." Not only that, but due to certain experiences that I have had with some of these Acquaintances have simply left Me...honestly, in FEAR of Friendships, or the whole deal with Intimacy and Relationships altogether.

Not looking for pity or anything, BTW...lol. I know that in the End, I'm the One who can control any major "fault changes" within My life. It's just somehow finding that reason to go about doing it in the first place. Until then, I'm simply going to make the best out of the Life that I have and the situation that I'm dealt with. After all, I know that there are a lot of People out there who have things a lot worse off when worse comes to worst, anyhow.

So til' then...
...I'm going to try to keep the complaining to a minimum, and Smile as much as I can. Anime is one of those things that definitely helps bring out the Happiness in Me. And it always feels better to get typed or written out how I'm feeling. So as the "Alcoholics" like to say, "Thanks for letting Me share!"
Posted 3/13/14 , edited 3/13/14
I'm usually perceptive, can pick up when any of the people I hang out with feel that way you are and do something about it. I don't see myself as a friend since I'm too boring to have a life. But, I can keep that to myself and let someone have a good time. I'll do special treats, listen to all their troubles, give advice, make stuff up, have a blast... depends on what they feel like doing. If I can, I'll hook them up with people who will make a better friend than myself. At least I'm good at getting people to come together. Then I'll be back to being invisible and enjoying my time alone. Next time I feel like checking up on them, repeat the above when needed.
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 3/13/14 , edited 3/13/14

Shin-Nrl wrote:

When this happens.I just start to ignore them for a while.after that they feel somethin is wrong,and they call or text etc





Haha, yeah i have done that. It works like a charm.
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29 / M
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Posted 3/13/14
I don't know man, maybe you're too touchy and emo. You know how you white boys get. By the way I read a horror story yesterday evening on an unmentionable website which I frequent. The title is "$20,000 lesson" basically someone made a "woe is me" thread all about how he lost 20,000 dollars to a person whom he believes had deceived him. A woman friend of course... that type of woman too lol.

I hate to say but maybe you're doing yourself a favour, That friend and crap like that might be just an illusion you're creating for yourself.
Sogno- 
45631 cr points
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Posted 3/13/14
i learned that when i was like 11 lol

as a result from many failed attempts to keep in touch, i don't go the extra mile anymore either
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F / West
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Posted 3/13/14
I rather be alone than around someone who does not value my friendship.
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18 / M / Alberta
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Posted 3/13/14
I feel this way all the time and I'm scared of initiating most social interaction so I tend to lose a lot of friends that way and it becomes a vicious cycle.
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23 / M / Texas
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Posted 3/13/14
Ya, I have or rather had that issue with people form high school. But that is in the past, no more issues.
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21 / SABER
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Posted 3/13/14
i dont have friends

all i have is Saber but not a real live saber just some cardboard cut out and a load of figurines

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25 / M / Fenix, AZ
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Posted 3/13/14
It's whatever, I have 3 people I consider my friends and 1 I'm on par with, 1 I usually initiate contact, and 1 usually initiates contact with me. It doesn't matter to me honestly, but if I haven't heard from one of them for like a week or 2 I'll say "wut up?" or something.

Generally for outside of these 3 I do not make any initial contact unless it is for a very good reason like work. The joke I always use whenever I exchange #'s is "I'll give you my number only if I can call/text you at 3am asking stupid questions." (har har) Then I explain that I almost never initiate conversation.

And it has to do with how often you are willing to spend time with them also, I mean if you don't talk to somebody for a month and then they want to hang out but you're too busy, and then another month goes by and then they are too busy and the cycle repeats, obviously the friendship will suffer or maybe even end. If I don't have time one week, I'll MAKE SURE to schedule time next week for us to hang out.

I hate people that bail on plans though, sometimes it's understandable, but if they make plans with me, and I text them a hour before we planned and they say "I forgot" or "something came up" that is usually the end of me making any sort of contact with that person. Because being "forgot" about or not being important enough to let know beforehand that something came up, is a pretty good sign of what that person thinks about me.
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M / Northeast
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Posted 3/13/14
Friends are not static and like the mountains. It's more like fish in a stream. People change. Sad but true. A precious few friendships survive the years. Perfectly normal, perfectly healthy. You, too, should be seeking out new social opportunities if that's something you're interested in.
Posted 3/13/14
To me, they are not your friends if they do not wish to keep in contact with you and they leave you making most of the effort to communicate. No person who cares about you would do that.

That has happened incalculable times. I will cease speaking to that individual and continue with my life.
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34 / M
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Posted 3/13/14 , edited 3/13/14
Bad friend here, i'm just busy with life. That and I move around a lot...writing an email or text takes so much effort D:

edit: This thread guilted me into writing back to a friend’s email I had been putting off....thanks CR :P
Posted 3/13/14
Damn. This thread really does make you feel guilty.
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