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Friends don't stay in touch
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20 / F / Class 3-3 ♥
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Posted 3/15/14
I have friends like this sadly, and so I will go out of my way a few times, but not often. If they don't want to try why should I? They'll slowly reply but never try to even keep the conversation go, so my plans and friendships fall through.
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27 / M / Abyss
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Posted 3/15/14
I have actually found a solution for this problem a long time I go. Stop any form of contact with those friends and forget they ever existed.

Though there are side-effects. Just regular stuff like, you know, no more friends and the whole forever aloneness thing. So yeah, be cautious. Or better yet don't follow my advice at all. It's terrible
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24 / M
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Posted 3/15/14

GoldenArtex wrote:

Unfortunately life is a very time consuming thing.

People get older and find a partner and generally that consumes the majority of time to be spared. And if a partner isn't enough most people have kids and extended family to deal with and not to mention work.....

It's an odd thing when we are children and have what seems like an infinite amount of time to just do whatever or dick around with friends. At the same time I am never as bored as I had been in my early years.

Now I have multiple interests, though they may not improve my life, to attend to as well as the family I've stepped into and that's almost too much to handle as it is. I had many friends who I really did care about a lot, who might not call me a friend anymore, who have all gone off in different directions later than I did and because I was one of the first ones to leave, and it may not be so but, I feel like everyone thinks I'm shitty for bailing on them first.....even though they all eventually and inevitably did the same thing.


If my best friend hadn't died so young, I believe my group, over time, might have went this route, too, but it didn't happen that way. Our group just kept breaking from a networked group of 18, to tight-knit group of 6 until finally a group of 4 was left. We 4 aren't breaking, not until we're dead. If hell comes then, we'll handle it then but we'll stay together.

Sadly enough, to those other 14, I can't convince myself anymore that I'd care if they were found dead in a ditch somewhere while my name means friend and I treasure nothing more.
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23 / M
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Posted 3/15/14
I do this to some of my friends they understand tho some weekends I just wanna lock the doors get in bed and watch anime all weekend long
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22 / F / United States
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Posted 3/16/14
I know this feeling... I used to have a close friend in high school. Towards mid-year and graduation we just really fell apart. Our lifestyles were different...and her attitude considerably different. I still miss her to this day, but I remembered why we drifted apart and convince myself that it's not worth it striking back up friendship again.

Even now I sense my group of friends are starting to change again, and it pretty much hurts. All of my friends (most of them) have boyfriends/girlfriends and that takes up a large load of their time. They either talk about their partner all the time when they're with me, or are with them a large part of the time. A lot of my friends are also growing out of our childhood likes. (Anime, Movies, Music, etc.) which has been the most recent change lately. My one friend dislikes it when I even turn K-Pop or J-Rock on, and she refuses to watch it. She'll go out of her way not to watch it even, and that to me kinda hurts. Then she expects me to listen to whatever she throws at me, or share her interests. *sigh*

My friends aren't as into anime as they use to be, which kinda puts me into a corner. No one feels like watching an anime, or reading something I've suggested. They'd rather hang out with their boyfriends or play Pokemon. It's kinda sad..watching all of my friends just up and break apart, but that's life, and it can be a real mean slap in the face.

I see people now who I used to talk to on a daily basis. Friends who purposely slipped themselves out of my life, and friends who just stopped talking one day. Whenever I do see them, they do say Hi but it's never anymore than that. As much as it makes me sad, I remind myself that the world's still full of many people looking to meet some new friends.

And since this thread is about friends who don't stay in touch, would anyone be bold enough to message someone on here who would like to meet someone new? Just a thought, but if someone would be looking for someone new to talk too, I won't be talking ^^
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23 / M
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Posted 3/16/14
I don't stay in touch.
I have things to do, and they have things to do.
Most of my friends moved on, got girlfriends/boyfriends, found new people, went to other countries, or became obsessed with work or play.
I'm not sure they particularly want to be around dull old me anymore.
They're living their lives, and they're happy.
Every one of them is doing something cool, or achieving what they want to achieve.
I don't care if we don't talk for months.
I don't care if we don't talk for years.
I decided they were my friends, and that is it. Nothing more matters.
If they think I don't talk to them enough, fine, I'm okay with talking to them more if they want, I like people.
If they decide its been too long, well, whether or not they're my friend, I am theirs.
I may not be the best friend. I won't lend them money, and I don't like leaving my comfort zone.
I won't raucously party, or cause trouble, and if they got in a fight, I'd be more liable to try and calm them down then unconditionally have their back. I'm not emotional, and I won't pity any misfortune they have.
I won't call, or text, or initiate any contact for months, I'm okay alone.
But when I like a person, and properly get to know them, being apart for a few years is irrelevant, awkwardness or not.
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Posted 3/16/14
It happens to everyone, unfortunately.
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22 / M / Stalking the stal...
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Posted 3/17/14
Pretty much my life in a nutshell. Ever since I went to university, I've drifted apart from most of my friends even though they live nearby. I do have some cool uni friends though
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22 / M / Ames, Iowa, USA
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Posted 3/17/14
as someone who doesn't really initiate contact with friends I'll at least give you my perspective.

1) I never talk to people (friends or family) if there is nothing to discuss. I hate small chat so if there is not something going on or an event that you want to go to, best not waste my time

2) I have my own hobbies that do not translate to my friends/family. I play a lot of video games, watch a lot of anime, and love to play football, ultimate frisbee, basketball or any of that. None of my friends seem to like all three of these like me so I'm left with a different schedule and priorities

3) I'm more of a loner. I don't really enjoy or relax around people, I see it more of a hassle. I do enjoy times with friends, but I can't be around people all the time.

4) I'm a military child, so I know the view of what a friend is is complete bullshit. As soon as I leave I'll never talk to these people again. We're only friends by association, so I don't take "friendships" seriously.
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19 / M / London
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Posted 3/17/14
if they don't stay in touch can you really call them friends? The people who i would always have to text/call first i no longer bother with.
Posted 3/18/14
Friends come and go. Sometimes you run into old friends, hook up and go do something. Sometimes, some old friends are like dead weight you dropped for a good reason, because fuck 'em. You didn't need those wastes of time.
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F / Pennsylvania
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Posted 3/18/14
I don't call anyone my friend because if I don't say anything then they won't say anything........ I HAVE to be the initiator almost 99% of the time..... and now i have become depressed from being reminded :'3
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25 / M / Somewhere.... per...
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Posted 3/18/14
They probably have their own life...
... and your group is probably not the only circles of friends they have...
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29 / M / Atlanta, GA, USA
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Posted 3/18/14
I'm usually the one withdrawing from my friends. It's nothing personal. I'm pretty sure it's just brain chemistry switching between sociable and unsociable. I have no problem reconnecting with friends and making new ones after a few months.
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25 / F
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Posted 3/19/14 , edited 3/19/14

Used to happen a lot in the past. I would always be the one calling and planning things, and the moment I stopped no one kept in touch. I grew sick of this crap eventually. I only have this one friend though, who I have known since childhood. We live far away and don't often talk, yet whenever we meet its like we've seen each other only the day before and we're incredibly close.

I think sometimes certain friends can pull this off - the truer they are. You don't always have to talk and keep up with each other if you have true friends like this. Years can go by without having seen each other or talking, and yet you can pick up a conversation like its only been yesterday. That's a true friend.

Anyway...As I've gotten older, I've not felt the need or want to have a lot of friends, and as it is, I like being alone and I prefer doing things on my own.



This is true for me, me and my bestie that ive known sine i was 6 are lose we an pik up where we left off..despite the many moves that seperate us and going to different universities. We keep in touh through facebook though, stillalthough she's been the one to say we should meet up and such, I sometimes subtle avoid it b/c..im the shier one out the two of us and she's doing things with her life and has friends...and I just don't want her to find out Im a loner at my college who doesn't know a single soul on campus. One itd be embarassing for me and two it be embarassing for her, although I know she knows how painfully shy I am..she told me that when we were in grade school its nice to have someone accept you for who you are...but I do believe grace can run out ..and i rather drift than her stop being my friend bc im a weirdo loner, though I know her character pretty well and doubt she'd do this. so yah..

Oh and in HS despite being shy I always iniated outings and such w/ friends and most blew it off..and one who didn't..I was too afraid to answer the phone *face palm* social anxiety is a lose lose situation... anywho w/ the friends who blew me off, I just stoped barking up there tree.
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