Literal Interpretations of Common Phrases: Part 1
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Posted 3/16/14 , edited 3/16/14
The English language is full of clever little phrases that have kind of lost significance like "barking up the wrong tree" or "the cat's out of the bag. I'm going to take a handful of these phrases, and based on my experience, see if they hold sway; alphabetically of course.

1. "A penny saved is a penny earned." after spending a small number of years saving money, I can safely say that this statement is utter cockery. It's not like putting a penny in your pocket suddenly causes it to appreciate in value, or even imply that you've worked for it. You may have punched a small child in the face to get that penny. Maybe you used your hand as a fleshy Trieste to go treasure hunting in the various trenches of the Marianas couch. I wouldn't call that earning a penny, and either activity consumes more calories than what a penny buys.

2. "Beating around the bush" That's not even remotely nice to do; gathering all your burly friends and beating someone around the bush. That's just savage.

3. "Close but no cigar" Seriously? How do you almost get a cigar? were you in the midst of lighting it and someone knocked it out of your mouth before the first puff?

4. "Don't cry over spilt milk." Why not? After my workout, the best thing to have is a tall glass of cold frothy milk, but instead, it slips away, leaving me with nothing to drink and a messy floor. I get no protein, and I have a mess to clean. That gives me every right to cry!

5. "Every cloud has a silver lining." That explains why it's such a worthless metal. If it just falls from the sky, what's the point of using it for anything but eating food from?

6. 'Fight fire with fire!" I want to know if there is one person on the planet that has successfully put out a fire with another fire of equal magnitude. I suppose the ensuing mega fire would need twice the fuel, therefore going out in half the time, but the whole point was to save the thing that was burning from further burning!

7. "Goody Two-shoes" Oh, I love that brand! Such quality in their works, and you get two of them! It even says so on the name. Brilliant, brilliant shoes.

8. "Healthy as a horse" What if the horse has diabetes? That's not very healthy.

9. "In a pickle" First of all, how is it possible to fit inside a pickle? Secondly, that sounds awful. I'd really want to get out of it if I found myself in one.

10. "Jumping the gun." I had no idea guns had alternators, or batteries unless you count the flash light.

11. "Keep your eyes peeled" Do what to my eyes? Oh, that's sick! What masochist would ever think to do this, retain it, and tell his buddies?

12. "Let's not and say we did." Excellent plan! I love lying anyway.

13. "My cup of tea" You're damn right it's mine. It's mine. It's awesome. You know what? You can't have any! I'll flush the rest down the toilette- just so you can't have any cup like this one ever!

14. "Not my cup of tea" That's what you think!

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Posted 3/16/14
'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' What if it puts you in a hospital or paralyzes you?
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27 / M / in a world where...
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Posted 3/16/14

Lethargic_leopard_Seal wrote:

6. 'Fight fire with fire!" I want to know if there is one person on the planet that has successfully put out a fire with another fire of equal magnitude. I suppose the ensuing mega fire would need twice the fuel, therefore going out in half the time, but the whole point was to save the thing that was burning from further burning!



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_burn#Back_burning
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Posted 3/17/14
Sancho Panza revival.
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49 / F / Center of the Uni...
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Posted 3/17/14
It's raining Cats and Dogs

Quick Alert the SPCA
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Posted 3/17/14
Bored to death-And thus no child has ever lived past the age of ten years, for all were bored into a phase of no longer living upon this plane of existence.
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"Year-end cleanup. Closing threads with no activity since 2014."
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