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Compliments Mistaken As Flirting
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22 / M
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Posted 3/26/14


Shhh, it's okay. I've got your back. Here, scratch my dog ears. That'll make you feel better. But more importantly, it'll make me feel better.
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21 / F / Balmer, Murlin
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Posted 3/26/14

Phersu wrote:



Shhh, it's okay. I've got your back. Here, scratch my dog ears. That'll make you feel better. But more importantly, it'll make me feel better.


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F / somehwere in the...
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Posted 3/26/14
depends on what I'm complimenting them on can be seen as flirting.

but I RARELY compliment anyone, and if I do it's usually my friends. I might compliment a cosplayer, but that's it.
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22 / M
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Posted 3/26/14

Aokidanza wrote:


Phersu wrote:



Shhh, it's okay. I've got your back. Here, scratch my dog ears. That'll make you feel better. But more importantly, it'll make me feel better.




Oooh yeah.
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27 / M / Mor Dhona
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Posted 3/26/14
I don't hand out verbal compliments or comment on appearances often. After all, though I can't help but have some prejudices thanks to nature and upbringing, I prefer to judge people based on their actions and character.

That said, I think some people mistake my kindness for flirting, because there's a girl in the bakery where I work (in the deli of a grocery) who I can't help but feel is flirting with me even though I've never shown her (or anyone, really) any kind of romantic affection. Maybe it's just my inexperience with women in general.
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27 / F / Washington
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Posted 3/26/14
Ahh I'm so guilty of just not taking a compliment seriously. Even if the guys I like do this, I just brush them off cause I almost don't believe them or think they are just teasing. Than they get all offensive since I don't accept the compliments as truth.
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18 / M / Alberta
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Posted 3/26/14

Hikaigin wrote:

Ahh I'm so guilty of just not taking a compliment seriously. Even if the guys I like do this, I just brush them off cause I almost don't believe them or think they are just teasing. Than they get all offensive since I don't accept the compliments as truth.


Sounds like a personal problem
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27 / F / Washington
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Posted 3/26/14
I feel like it has to do with self worth and confidence in yourself also but I do believe most girls feel the same way also.
Posted 3/26/14

kingslushee wrote:

Flirting is wrong?!


Flirting is not wrong at all, you just have to be careful about it.
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M
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Posted 3/26/14

IShouldBeStudying wrote:

I've completely given up on complimenting girls. Every time I do they thank me with a "weirdo" or "ew, creeper"

Sometimes they wouldn't say either. They'd just stare at me with an ugly face that made me want to take my compliment back


At least I'm not the only one.......
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27 / F / Canada
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Posted 3/26/14 , edited 3/26/14
Women tend to over-think things :P

For example, on my fifteenth birthday, this guy I started talking to a lot gave a single stemmed red rose. I took it that he was interested in me. I confronted him about it and apparently he didn't mean to give it to me romantically.. I assumed that the red rose, because it signifies romance as per books/shows/social media, meant he was interested in me.

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21 / M
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Posted 3/26/14

mlchanges wrote:


IShouldBeStudying wrote:

I've completely given up on complimenting girls. Every time I do they thank me with a "weirdo" or "ew, creeper"

Sometimes they wouldn't say either. They'd just stare at me with an ugly face that made me want to take my compliment back


At least I'm not the only one.......


I gave up after a comment to a mother that her kid was cute and she took me as a pedo, ushering her kid out to her car and calling me a sicko and other obscenities.

Now I only compliment actions, REALLY REALLY CAREFULLY.
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M
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Posted 3/26/14
All the time. Yes girls do get bugged way too much by guys fishing for dates that compliment way

Now that I am married I can straight up say "I'm happily married and have no interest in dating you, but you look really cute today/in that/bacon on your head/cosplay/whatever" and it's taken in a much better way.

Related to this, when I first met my wife, she was a friend of a friend, I ended up giving her a ride to an anime convention we were both going to as part of a larger group. We were starting to have maybe sorta feelings for each other (no dates yet), but I told her that I was not going to hit on her or try to date her at the convention, but as soon as the convention was done, all bets were off and I was going to try and date her.

She about went nuts all weekend wishing I would flirt with her.
She eventually asked me to marry her a year or so later.

tl;dr : Sometimes better to compliment slyly, and walk away cool. Let her squirm instead.
At the very least, backing off a bit and giving a girl some respectful room to breathe and letting her make a move back is a good idea.
Cornering somebody and peppering with compliments is creepshow.
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22 / M / The Cosmos
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Posted 3/26/14

pootato wrote:

Women tend to over-think things :P

For example, on my fifteenth birthday, this guy I started talking to a lot gave a single stemmed red rose. I took it that he was interested in me. I confronted him about it and apparently he didn't mean to give it to me romantically.. I assumed that the red rose, because it signifies romance as per books/shows/social media, meant he was interested in me.



You're definitely not wrong for thinking that. 9 times out of 10 a single red rose means they want something to go down. You just happened to meet that 1 out of 10 :\
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19 / M / Future Gadget Lab...
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Posted 3/26/14
In all honesty, I suck at intentional flirtation. Usually, i just act kind towards all people and accustom to talking in a certain manner towards different people as i get to know them. Usually, it's the other party that thinks I'm flirting, and if it leads somewhere, then so be it, but I've never really intentionally flirted in my life and I'm not someone who likes the idea of all of those cheesy, almost demeaning pick-up lines, so I probably never will.

I'd say if there is a mutual attraction, then sure, it'll likely get there, but it'll happen naturally. I'm rather inexperienced, so I'm no head to turn to when it comes to asking what to do, but I'll follow my gut instinct for once when it comes to this kind of topic.
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