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Compliments Mistaken As Flirting
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 3/28/14
I occasionally get the feeling that some people misinterpret me, but me usually keeping compliments inane makes it a rare occasion.
Also, so long as I'm not peppered with compliments by a single person often, or the one saying it doesn't make the hair on the back of my neck stand on end (happened), I assume compliments are platonic in nature. I'm pretty liberal with mentioning my disinterest in relationships, which seems to work well as a buffer.

A few weeks ago, a former game-'Friend' I sometimes chatted with online said that I misunderstood his intentions when I confronted him about bothering me with his flirting, but I don't know... Messaging me with hearts, calling me "sweetie" and whatnot, suddenly wanting to talk regularly after finding out my age and appearance, and sending me a post saying "hotness" are strong evidence to the contrary.
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24 / M
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Posted 3/28/14
Honestly I've been afraid of even doing a good deed for it to be interpreted as he's being weirdo, creep, flirting, etc. One occasion I remember is I was at the mall just hanging out and I saw a small little girl on one of those things you put money in and it moves... Anyways I noticed she was playing on it and a older women was watching her niece just relaxing but for some reason it bothered me a bit that she was playing on it but it wasn't running. So I made small talk and complimented her niece trying to be very very tactful because I felt like I was on the edge of creepy valley. I asked her if it was alright if I put money in the machine for her niece she agreed I put money in, went through the whole thank the stranger routine thing watched her have fun for a bit and went on my way.

The point of I'm kinda tugging at is even doing small favors for strangers can be problematic because of the thought that their is probably an ulterior motive if it's not something that's routine or common. So it can make people not want to do small acts of kindness for fear of it being misinterpreted at least in my case.
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49 / F / Center of the Uni...
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Posted 3/28/14
That's sad but unfortunately understandable in our fear driven society.
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36 / M
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Posted 3/28/14
I have some sort of weird thing with the way I'm wired that means that I can't interpret body language naturally like most people can. At first I never could understand other people or their motives at all. Part of the time it was like everyone else in the room had ESP and I was left out. So all the way up until almost the end of high school I had no clue when someone was flirting, complimenting, trying to get something by manipulating me, etc. The flip side was that no one could understand me due to a lack of natural body language on my part, what little I had was strange to them and sometimes would give the wrong impression. Sadly enough, once I started to figure out how to intentionally decipher other's body language I realized that several girls had been into me the whole time I had known them, I just had no clue being denser than is normally even possible.

College went much better as my skills improved. Now I can decipher all sorts of things from very little exposure. I'm not quite as impressive as someone from a show like Sherlock, but it is enough to make most people freak out if I explain what I figured out and what cues told me. I have only told a few people IRL about this, like my wife and a couple close friends. I don't mind talking about it on the internet, but one person I told IRL already tried to get me to "use it for evil" to be dramatic about it. I learned early on it is unwise to call people on even half their BS, there are a lot of things most folks are used to getting away with and it doesn't really hurt anything to let them. It is pretty awesome when dealing with commission sales people though.

These days I can tell with almost 100% accuracy who is simply paying a compliment and who is flirting. I am also not mistaken for doing one when I am doing the other very often anymore now that I can fake the right kind of body language. People instinctively trust body language more than they do the words you say. I have noticed that sometimes some folks will have body language that does not match their intentions, which is betrayed by small cues in part of the body language. This happens most often when people are either very nervous or being intentionally deceptive. There are other causes sometimes. Misinterpretations are probably based in part on this, especially if your body language is skewed by something, like some sort of disorder like mine, being nervous, way too tired, etc.

TL;DR - Yeah, it used to happen to me a lot and I used to do it a lot both ways. These days almost never.
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Posted 3/28/14
Overall, it depends on the 5 Ws (where,who,what,when,why and how). In society a compliment can mean a lot of things, especially if it is someone or somewhere unknown. Example, In Italy, an incident occurred, where a American women was walking on the beach at night. She makes eye contact and smiles at a man. Just with that the man infers she is inviting him over for sexual intercourse. Let's stop at that, some indecent stuff occurs, and I do not remember if charges to the man happened. So what I am trying to explain is, if you do not like it when you compliment someone and they infer it is as a sort of cue to start hitting on you--do not do it. Or vice-versa, if they don't like it.
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18 / F / USA
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Posted 3/28/14
No. Only if its unexpected, then I take it as flirting.
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24 / F / United States
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Posted 4/20/14
My best friend is a very positive person most of the time, and compliments people all the time when she finds something genuinely interesting. She does this often online and offline, and sometimes people tell me it looks like she's flirting. Someone was teasing her about how she always looks like she's flirting with people, and now she is almost scared to show her genuine interest because of people always misinterpreting her actions .

Some individuals just need to stop over thinking things, honestly ~
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27 / M / Sunny SoCal!!!
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Posted 4/20/14
I think it is being mistaken, for example I go to my local gamestop and they know who I am and I recently got a new wallet which is a replica "BAD MOTHERFUCKER" replica from Pulpfiction. Now the girl that was woking saw it and was like "Hey!! That's a really cool wallet I like it!" I thanked her told her I got it online. My buddy told me as we left that she was totally flirting with me and I told him no she just genuinely liked my wallet and had to say something. I didn't take it as if she was flirting with me but just shocked that someone had a really cool wallet if I didn't own it and saw one like it I would say something too!
Posted 4/20/14 , edited 4/20/14
Just this morning someone kept on comparing me to a poster at a hair place. I don't really want to know how they think I look like the poster so I can only think that they were exaggerating and that has the opposite effect to a compliment imo.

When I compliment someone I'd hate it to be mistaken for flirting. I'd actually kind of get mad about it, i have anger issues lol



In my mind;
Posted 4/20/14

Sychop wrote:

Just this morning someone kept on comparing me to a poster at a hair place. I don't really want to know how they think I look like the poster so I can only think that they were exaggerating and that has the opposite effect to a compliment imo.

When I compliment someone I'd hate it to be mistaken for flirting. I'd actually kind of get mad about it, i have anger issues lol



In my mind;


You're so handsome, you could be a model.
Posted 4/20/14

XelaRwar wrote:
You're so handsome, you could be a model.


How did I fucking know you were going to do that?!

Posted 4/20/14

Sychop wrote:


XelaRwar wrote:
You're so handsome, you could be a model.


How did I fucking know you were going to do that?!



You know me so well.
Posted 4/20/14


You're so cute
Posted 4/20/14

Sychop wrote:



You're so cute

Posted 4/20/14

XelaRwar wrote:


Sychop wrote:



You're so cute



lol you're extra annoying today. Having fun?
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