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Quantity of Love
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22 / M
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Posted 3/26/14
I'm curious as to some thoughts on the subject. Do you think love is a quantifiable thing, that one can have more of than another? Is one person capable of loving more than another? Or do we all have the same amount?

This will be my last thread for a while, so do enjoy yourselves.
Posted 3/26/14
Quantitative love is surely possible. Some love with great intensity while it can be somewhat faint for others.
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25 / M / Alaska, USA
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Posted 3/26/14
Each person is capable of different things, the same can be said for the amount of love they show for something or someone.
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22 / M / Texas
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Posted 3/26/14
I would say love cannot be quantified directly, but rather is quantified by the actions taken by someone towards the person/thing they love. As far as whether or not some people have more than others, I have absolutely no idea. I imagine in a perfect world we would all have the same "Amount" of love, but who can say for sure?
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23 / M
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Posted 3/26/14
yes, no, no, yes. Quantification is the hard part, but I think, at least, we can measure attachment, right? Not everybody gets attached to things the same way, but I don't see why there would be fundamental differences in capacity. "Amount" might not be the right word here.
Posted 3/26/14
I would say that a guy that cheated on me loves me less compared to a guy who would stay faithful. So I guess you can quantify it as long as it's 'measured' the same way.
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Posted 3/26/14
hmm well this is something hard for me to discuss. I don't know for what reason, but the emotion love isn't something I've felt.

I may be over-thinking things about myself, but in the 24 years of life, I have never been romantically attracted to someone. I like my famly and I don't know what I would do without them. but is that love? if love is about wanting to be with someone because you enjoy their presence then I love them.

but if love is something a bit stronger then I like my family and I, so far, have been unable to love someone.

I;ve thought a lot about this. im lonely and I want someone to love me, but if I don't know exactly what love is then how do I know that someone else loves me back.

I have been attracted to someone sexually before, but I think that was more animal instinct and loneliness, cuz if she left my life and did (when I moved away) I wasn't overly unhappy, I kind of just went "huh, well that happen" and went on with my life.
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Posted 3/26/14 , edited 3/26/14


Hahah. That sounds familiar. Mhm. I can comprehend that. I can sympathize. I understand that kind of feeling. You don't feel like you love anyone. You might prefer certain things, such as their presence to their absence, but even if they leave you won't be particularly sad. You don't miss them when they're away, or feel better when they're back.
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20 / F / Australia
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Posted 3/26/14
Yes. The first thing that comes to my mind with this discussion is passions and interests.
You have two people. One has a strong passion for art, whereas the other person sometimes likes to doodle in their notebooks from time to time but enjoys it.
Wouldn't you say that these two individuals harbor differing quantities of love towards said hobby/passion?
I think it is most definitely possible to quantify love, however, to attempt to seek the literal quantity of love one has for someone or something is a different story.
I feel like love can be measured, not necessarily numerically, but more so in an abstract manner. This is mainly subjective however, since individuals have varying ideals towards love.
Posted 3/26/14
I hate how science ruined love for me. We're basically given 2 years to enjoy the butterflies and our hearts skipping a beat, and then after that you have to work hard for it.
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Posted 3/26/14

Phersu wrote:



Hahah. That sounds familiar. Mhm. I can comprehend that. I can sympathize. I understand that kind of feeling. You don't feel like you love anyone. You might prefer certain things, such as their presence to their absence, but even if they leave you won't be particularly sad. You don't miss them when they're away, or feel better when they're back.


yeah that's basically it. from that you said I do love my family. im a big mama's boy and my dad's one of my best friends. im 23 and still living at home beacuase it would be hard not to talk to them each day face to face. but considering my life thus far its very understandable

when I was in 9th grade, years of mild depression boiled over and I tried to hurt myself (im much better now tho) and turns out I had mild autism that made it extremely hard for me to get my feeling and ideas out of my mouth. which resulted in depression caused by pressure from school, lack of friendships and I had a tough time communicating with my family.

it took time and working with a social therapist, but now im much better and one of the ways I avoid going back into that dark place is by communication with family.

sometimes when im going to bed after watching romantic anime or reading similar manga I find myself extremely lonely. but somewhere in the back of my mind, that nagging feeling of "if I cant love someone else, how can someone else love me" kinda feeling start to appear.

its strange telling people online all this stuff but it also feel nice, having people with similar interest and possibly similar feeling listen to my problems.

that loneliness is one the driving factors that got me to lose wait. I was about 330 2 months ago and now im down to 305ish maybe If I lost weight, I could have more self confidence and would be able to approach women more easily, and they might find me more attractive
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Posted 3/26/14 , edited 3/26/14


Hmmm. Well, I don't really have any advice for you. I'm a cowardly man who doesn't confront his problems, after all. I merely go with the flow. If I am to love and be loved, it'll happen. If not, oh well. No big deal. The idea of going on as such doesn't bother me. Neither does the opposite. I'm kinda okay with whatever happens.
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Posted 3/26/14
I used to think that way but lately my feelings have been hard to ignore. welp, im only 23 so I got plenty of time to find my love
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21 / SABER
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Posted 3/26/14

Phersu wrote:

I'm curious as to some thoughts on the subject. Do you think love is a quantifiable thing, that one can have more of than another? Is one person capable of loving more than another? Or do we all have the same amount?

This will be my last thread for a while, so do enjoy yourselves.


either you love a person or you dont

its impossible to love more than one person

but the term "like" or attraction based on looks might be different

but true love where one person loves another person and also the reverse of that, you can only have one of that and not more

ITS EITHER YOU LOVE THE PERSON OR YOU DON'T!!!!!!!

if you love someone else more and that person loves you then that mean you "FALLEN OUT OF LOVE" with the other person

the better term Quantifiable "Liking' would be the more better term here sense in a way the two words carry different tones of seriousness

just why would you put up with someone you fallen out of love with

an the other hand,

if such a thing did occur there would be much conflict and strife brought about by the parties or people resulting from jealously, envy, hate

all resulting in a literal term of a "TRAGEDY"

and then someone will make profit after your death by publishing your story #SHAKESPEARE

also there is numerous debate and stories of this dating also way back to times of ADAM and EVE








hopefully you all understand me, I don't know how to simplify it
Bavalt 
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28 / M / Canada
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Posted 3/26/14
What kind of love do you mean? Romantic love? Familial or friendly love? Self-love? Love for a hobby? Love for a favorite food? Love for unhealthy vices? A score of zero in tennis?

I consider the love debate to be similar to the God debate: the concept itself means different things to different people and isn't something really tangible in the first place, most of the time. Before anything else, 'love' is a word, and different people will attach different amounts of value to it, connect different concepts to it, and apply it to different scenarios. Like 'God', it's something we can intuitively grasp, but not something that we can define in any concretely useful or mutually acceptable way.

And now that I've gotten my objective viewpoint out of the way, I can get into my more worthwhile subjective one.

Defining 'love' as something like 'devotion', I think it's fair to say that love is definitely theoretically quantifiable, but that we don't have any means of actually measuring it aside from the results. It's like fuel in a vehicle. If a vehicle uses up all its fuel, we know how much it had, but that doesn't mean it necessarily had more fuel than other vehicles who still have fuel afterwards: those vehicles simply might not have been used as much.

Having your love for something 'tested' will show just how deeply it runs for that thing, but in no way does that invalidate 'untested' love. If one person has to win over their significant other against a rival, it doesn't necessarily follow that their love is any deeper than that of another person who happens to be in love with someone who reciprocates from the get-go. The fact that love is a latent attribute in this way makes it nigh-impossible to actually measure: we don't have a convenient fuel gauge to tell us how far it'll keep. I often hear that love is measured by action, but I absolutely disagree. Love is an emotion, not an activity, and just because it doesn't boil to the surface doesn't mean it's not there.

As for whether people can have differing amounts of 'total' love, I'm not sure, but I think the more holistically you define it, the more it evens out. For example, if you're gauging purely by romantic love, then there are probably people who have way more of it than others. But if you add familial love into the mix, things get a little more even. By the time you're counting love for objects and activities, and the all-important factor of self-love, it suddenly seems as though most people have quite a bit of love that they're rationing out. I think I believe that after you include every definition of the word love, everyone ends up with exactly the same amount, but that's only because the word itself is so broad and versatile that you could pretty much toss it out to describe anything. Can someone have a love for not loving things, for example? It's a pretty slippery topic like that.

At the end of the day, I don't think quantity or even quality of love are very relevant compared to where that love is aimed. When it comes down to it, what you love constitutes the entirety of your personality. It's definitely a big deal, but in terms of comparing peoples' love, 'more' or 'less' both feel pretty juvenile compared to 'different'.
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