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Post Reply How do you get over ex's?
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24 / M / Michigan
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Posted 3/29/14
Just curious on everyones methods of getting over the break up process.

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23 / M / Canada
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Posted 3/29/14
I cut off all communication as if they never even existed in my life and then I let time do it's thing, kinda works.
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18 / SABER
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Posted 3/29/14


or

you could uses your Geass power on yourself to make/force yourself to forget everything

or

you genjsutu on yourself
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16 / M / Alberta
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Posted 3/29/14
overdose on cocaine
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24 / M / Michigan
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Posted 3/29/14

Anamalous wrote:



or

you could uses your Geass power on yourself to make/force yourself to forget everything

or

you genjsutu on yourself


Thanks for all that.
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24
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Posted 3/29/14
Why would you get over with...? Just put that person on your hold list.
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M / Dublin, Ireland (...
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Posted 3/29/14
Well my ex decided to cut off all communication with me and spread lies about me... So I suppose I had no choice but to get over her...

By rebounding and dating her best friend!

That didn't last long, and I've been with a different girl for a good while now :D

Gets It.
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30 / M / London, England
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Posted 3/29/14
You don't.

I guess, in a roundabout way, you do - eventually. At the end of the day, though, it's not really about how they make you feel - but how you allow them to influence your feelings. Gradually, you tend to understand that they're an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend and that you're no longer in a relationship with them. I feel that society and our culture has twisted what a relationship is and what we "expect" from them. But, alas, your heart (feelings) are in a bind and you're not sure how to cope.

TL;DR: Time.
Time gives you the understanding of where you are with them and what they mean/meant to you.
You allow yourself to hurt as you've lost someone that you felt was important to you; and there are loads of different elements that causes you grief or disappointment from there.
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 3/29/14 , edited 3/29/14
You don't get attached in the first place. Loving someone means you can let them go if it's best for them easily. If you can't let them go, your in a parasitic relationship to begin with, where your happiness is dependent on them. Yes, it may seem impossible to love without attachment but the more you can the better off you'll be. Supposedly even Gods have trouble letting go quite often though so don't stress on that. However, you should realize that even if something outside you motivates you to feel happy, the happiness truly originates within yourself, and if you learn how to be happy with only yourself then your free to love without attachment. Happiness always ends in suffering if your attached. Once the source of happiness is gone, your sad. So learn to find the happiness within yourself, where it truly originates.

Our society is filled to the brim with insanity and ignorance that certain people want to keep perpetuating so that we're easier to control. It's no wonder we're seeing people making mistakes and suffering everywhere. We've become extremely desensitized to suffering because of this. But that doesn't mean there's not knowledge of how to truly live out there. Seriously, the more you learn to love/know yourself, your love for others and love in relationships will be exponentially higher. You must love yourself on your own before your safe to love without suffering. Yes, it's not an easy thing to perfect and we all want companions before we're ready, and so we do this crazy dance trying to juggle both which is ok. You don't have to meditate in a cave for 20 years to get results. Just know that the more you prepare yourself, the more likely a perfect match will come your way, bearing more powerful lessons that you can more easily grow tremendously from. You'll be more open to the lessons and working within them instead of unconsciously running from all the scary shit that could ruin things. Life is about learning, not settling down. Can't stop moving or evolution/change will start pushing you along, more and more violently the more and longer you resist. A true warrior is one who see's everything as a challenge and steps bravely up to it in order to learn and evolve. There's a lot of powerful techniques out there to know yourself, which is the foundation upon which your entire life stands. You can't really know anything with any kind of certainty if you don't know the one who is doing the knowing. The Greeks put know thyself above all their doorways for a reason. Same story throughout history. In many ways, we're more primitive than they.

Sorry for the long read and slight tangents, but if you don't have a foundation, you can't have lasting working relationships. And know that almost all relationships are not meant to last a lifetime, they're hear to teach us things, primarily how to allow ourselves to experience higher and higher love. If you can't be aware where you are in the relationship, how all your feelings and worries are, then can't solve the inevitable problems/challenges to learn better that arise. Learn to connect to your soul, and experience soul levels of love that you can share with others which is far far beyond the imagination of most people on this earth. Ya'll have barely touched the tip of the iceburge in terms of how powerful and awesome love can be, myself included. The possibility is endless. Our bodies couldn't even contain the higher levels of love at the moment, they'd just burst like 1000watts going into a 10w lightbulb. We learn and grow gradually to contain the highest. Takes time and effort, but is sooo much more worth it than anyone could imagine.

TLDR: Know yourself, where happiness originates, and no suffering can touch you. Without knowing how to connect to inner happiness, every outer happiness will result in suffering eventually when it leaves. Outer things are not permanent.
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94 / M / Pennsylvania
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Posted 3/29/14

PrincessLunza wrote:


By rebounding and dating her best friend!





holy shit that had me rolling. lol

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24 / M / Michigan
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Posted 3/29/14

rkaragon wrote:

You don't get attached in the first place. Loving someone means you can let them go if it's best for them easily. If you can't let them go, your in a parasitic relationship to begin with, where your happiness is dependent on them. Yes, it may seem impossible to love without attachment but the more you can the better off you'll be. Supposedly even Gods have trouble letting go quite often though so don't stress on that. However, you should realize that even if something outside you motivates you to feel happy, the happiness truly originates within yourself, and if you learn how to be happy with only yourself then your free to love without attachment. Happiness always ends in suffering if your attached. Once the source of happiness is gone, your sad. So learn to find the happiness within yourself, where it truly originates.

Our society is filled to the brim with insanity and ignorance that certain people want to keep perpetuating so that we're easier to control. It's no wonder we're seeing people making mistakes and suffering everywhere. We've become extremely desensitized to suffering because of this. But that doesn't mean there's not knowledge of how to truly live out there. Seriously, the more you learn to love/know yourself, your love for others and love in relationships will be exponentially higher. You must love yourself on your own before your safe to love without suffering. Yes, it's not an easy thing to perfect and we all want companions before we're ready, and so we do this crazy dance trying to juggle both which is ok. You don't have to meditate in a cave for 20 years to get results. Just know that the more you prepare yourself, the more likely a perfect match will come your way, bearing more powerful lessons that you can more easily grow tremendously from. You'll be more open to the lessons and working within them instead of unconsciously running from all the scary shit that could ruin things. Life is about learning, not settling down. Can't stop moving or evolution/change will start pushing you along, more and more violently the more and longer you resist. A true warrior is one who see's everything as a challenge and steps bravely up to it in order to learn and evolve. There's a lot of powerful techniques out there to know yourself, which is the foundation upon which your entire life stands. You can't really know anything with any kind of certainty if you don't know the one who is doing the knowing. The Greeks put know thyself above all their doorways for a reason. Same story throughout history. In many ways, we're more primitive than they.

Sorry for the long read and slight tangents, but if you don't have a foundation, you can't have lasting working relationships. And know that almost all relationships are not meant to last a lifetime, they're hear to teach us things, primarily how to allow ourselves to experience higher and higher love. If you can't be aware where you are in the relationship, how all your feelings and worries are, then can't solve the inevitable problems/challenges to learn better that arise. Learn to connect to your soul, and experience soul levels of love that you can share with others which is far far beyond the imagination of most people on this earth. Ya'll have barely touched the tip of the iceburge in terms of how powerful and awesome love can be, myself included. The possibility is endless. Our bodies couldn't even contain the higher levels of love at the moment, they'd just burst like 1000watts going into a 10w lightbulb. We learn and grow gradually to contain the highest. Takes time and effort, but is sooo much more worth it than anyone could imagine.

TLDR: Know yourself, where happiness originates, and no suffering can touch you. Without knowing how to connect to inner happiness, every outer happiness will result in suffering eventually when it leaves. Outer things are not permanent.


Thanks for this, exactly wanted I needed.

Phersu 
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19 / M / Existence.
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Posted 3/29/14
Make them bend down and leap over them. Then they leap over you as you do the same. Continuously.
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20 / F
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Posted 3/29/14
Don't even think about them. Just don't. Keep yourself busy with other people, if you have to. time also heals. everyone is different though, but that's what i do.
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 3/29/14
Just some afterthoughts to add. This kinda stuff gets me goin and it's hard to stop XD

Learning to let go is one of the most difficult things, but it's one of the most necessary. The middle path involves staying centered despite good or bad things happening around you. Getting caught up in the good can be just as devastating as getting caught up in the bad. I've experienced excruciating pain earlier in my life when I achieved tremendous heights of happiness and a life that seemed more out of this world and magical than most magical girl anime hah. I spent 4 years devoted to practices that would uplift me tremendously, but things changed so fast that a part of me couldn't keep up and resisted more and more this entirely new me that left the old behind. Then my two childhood friends passed away and a bunch of other things happened. I just got too carried away by the good and didn't realize I was putting a wall up against the fears and things still within me that were buried and unresolved. Things came crashing down super hard and almost drove me crazy, until I just realized that such experiences were going to be inevitable. There's going to be ups and downs. It's how you let them affect you.

You do your work to know yourself and let the bliss come, and when you inevitably can't keep up with the pace that can't help but want to get faster, you let it go. It will be back again, and more strong and stable if you just stay anchored to the middle path, to that solid foundation deep within us. When the bliss comes, let it come, when it goes let it go. Don't try to control your life, find peace with your life and it will change to reflect that peace. You can't force peace tho, as you can't run from your feelings/stress. Peace comes from the path of least resistance, you allow the deep inner knowing to guide you rather than the insane false ego mind trying to control everything. The mind is meant to be a window, not the decider of things. Intuition is what is meant to guide us, a subtle inner knowing that we find when we quiet our minds and relax. Knowing originates from the source, where everything is known. It's why wise people are so effortlessly and spontaneously wise on so many matters of life, because they have a connection to that source. The more quiet the mind, the more we will begin to experience our real selves and gain all the power inherit within that source of our self.

The only thing that doesn't change is that source of happiness deep within us. Union with that=union with all things, as all things in their deepest depth originate from that same source and are never truly separate from it. We suffer when we forget the source and create false beliefs that we're separate from it. We get lost when we look for this inherent peace within us anywhere but within us. Although, that doesn't mean we can't enjoy our life experiences or that we lose any individuality at all. Americans have been soo focused on the importance of individuality which this world really needed, but it also needs the knowledge of how to experience the unity we all share. When we stay connected to the source, which is the strongest connection we have, we experience the unity and we see everything elsewhere as the same bliss that we found within us. How could you do harm to another when you experience them as being not separate from yourself but just another part of the sources huge play to evolve everything so that we might discover ever more awesome experiences and creations. It's not about returning to the source and becoming losing yourself so much as expanding your ability to create and evolve by being connected to the source which provides all the knowledge and creativity in the universe for you to play with. Life becomes an ocean of bliss with every experience a wave of bliss upon that ocean of uncorruptable bliss. That source can never not be bliss. We only get lost in the tremendous awesome explosions of our emotions, senses, and experiences in the world and forget it, forget ourselves, the knower/experiencer. But without the knower, everything gets duller and duller and motivation/energy gets less and less.

Life is not that complex. The greatest truths, even a child could understand. We just have mostly lost them in the midst of our present social/cultural/technological/whatever experimenting. Sorry if this is way out there or over anyones heads. I get carried away a bit rather easily. The energy that manifests when I attempt to channel truth can get overwhelmingly good pretty quick if I'm not grounded. I'm no master, just someone born with a ravenous desire to learn about life and share what I've learned. Even if it sounds like I'm just spinning a fantasy to some of you, please don't close your mind completely to the potential truth you can find here. Although, don't get me wrong, it's just as good to be cynical as it is to have an open mind. Keep them both balanced and you'll quickly learn anything you have the desire to learn, especially if your connected to the source of all power.
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20 / M / California
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Posted 3/29/14
fk ur ex's best friend. That always work, but doing it just shows that you are still desperate about your ex
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