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How to handle...
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Posted 3/30/14
-Feeling like you don't have one real person to talk to..
-Never feeling good about themselves
-Acting like your nothing and you can never be your true self'

I'm just looking for advice, I know this may seem crazy,ridiculous and "pleading for attention" but I swear thats not it. At all, I just need a response.. please.

Thank you
-Ren x
Posted 3/30/14
If I had the answer on how to deal with that I wouldn't be me.

-Feeling like you don't have one real person to talk to..

I really don't. There are you people online but not a one of you can be trusted to be who you say you are. You are all only temporary anyway since this is the internet and offline for most people takes precedence over online.

-Never feeling good about themselves

True, but I found if you pretend that you like yourself long enough at some point you kind of do? Unless you think too much about it and then you are screwed.

-Acting like your nothing and you can never be your true self'

My life online is more eventful than the one offline. So in a way it really amounts to nothing since if something happened to me nobody online would notice anything other than the fact I didn't log on anymore. Offline there really isn't anyone I care about and only a few family members left that would care about me. As for being my true self...well I don't know how to be anyone else. I don't bother to lie so maybe that is all that is needed to truly be who I am.

Good luck with your problem. Life pretty much sucks so when it gets to be too much just sleep as long as possible. It's what I do.
Posted 3/30/14
I used to think I had zero personality, I understand completely all 3 of those points... you've obscured the good things you have by paying attention and being too hard on yourself for things that you can change.

I'm not exactly good with advice but don't think that your thoughts are 100% true & there's no need to worry about what people think about your post, if you're not looking for attention then you aren't, no need to think about how it appears to others.

sorry for bad advice i just wanted to respond
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23 / M
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Posted 3/30/14
And why do you feel this way?
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25 / M / Canada
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Posted 3/30/14 , edited 3/30/14
For me I just do stuff (hobbies) to steer my mind away from those kinds of feelings but that's really only a bandaid solution because those same problems will just resurface the next day or whatever... embrace it, it's a part of who you are, learn to live with it, you just gotta keep on doing your thing and make the best of what you've got and hope that things will get better. That's all what works for me.
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18 / M / Alberta
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Posted 3/30/14
I'd love to help, but these are still issues I'm dealing with myself.
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36 / M / Denver
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Posted 3/30/14
First one: there aren't many "real" people to begin with. If you're talking about interest groups, there's always those, unless you're painfully eccentric like I am. Try to find the simpler relationships with those around you. Get enough of those going and most of the time you'll forget about the walls you've set up, whether they should be there or not. There isn't anybody I trust with the full extent of my feelings and thoughts, but I talk to people at least half of the day.

Second one: I usually tell people to stop thinking about how they feel and start taking little steps. Make plans. Work out (especially this one). Go outside, close your eyes, and let the sun hit your face. Truth is, everything that's wrong with your life won't last.

Third one: Actually, depends. Most people only do what other people or society tells them to do. They go to school, go to work, try to offset loneliness by being obsessed with relationships. They have no real identity. The truth is, find things you want to do, and do them. Nobody even has to know, if you don't want them to. There may or may not be other people involved in your learning.

As for being your real self... there are very, very few things that are so permanent that you need to be overly diplomatic and careful about. People and things will come and go in your life, sometimes without any explanation at all. Work on being able to do the things you want to be capable of. There really isn't much else worth worrying about. Any other good things are bonuses.

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21 / M / Alaska
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Posted 3/30/14

Well I used to feel like I had no one to talk, my brother always took my friends, but my one best friend eventually came back, so I can talk to him about some stuff, the other stuff, is meant to be kept to myself.

I used to hate myself a lot, but as I started gaming more, watching anime and doing what I do(doing the things I love) I basically said fuck the rest, i'll be happy being myself, screw what anyone thinks, and I started to think I like how my life is, even though it may suck at times, I now enjoy the way I turned out. If someone doesn't like it they can screw off.

I also used to act I was nothing, like I could really never be myself but it also pertains to what I previously just said, screw what other people think, just do what you wanna do, if other people don't like, then they aren't worth your time or attention. Don't let it get to you, and just be yourself, thats the only advice I can give. It worked for me but It may not work for you since we are different people, I hope some of that helps in the slightest.
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Posted 3/30/14
I feel this way because for the past 2 years alot of things in my life have changed alot.. For example, my best friend who I've known since kindergarten doesn't even know i exist anymore(very over dramatic but hear me out)... So on the first of school she was really cool, sweet and fun. Now she's a druggie and she always takes her frustration out on me. Then one day, she comes to my home for advice and I try to help her but in the end she ends up flipping out and calls me a b!+ch and a whole lot of names.

The reason why I never feel good about myself is dumb but its because i blend into the background. It sound redundant but im also scared to stand out because ppl at my school bite ass and they will judge you over the slightest thing such as how you write, how you talk, and even if you get a 'c' or 'd' grade. ughh i know this is alot but yeah these are the reasons why i'm feeling the way i'm feeling... ):
Posted 3/30/14 , edited 3/30/14
Write. Just write.
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Posted 3/30/14 , edited 3/30/14

BladeCold5 wrote:

-Feeling like you don't have one real person to talk to..
-Never feeling good about themselves
-Acting like your nothing and you can never be your true self'

I'm just looking for advice, I know this may seem crazy,ridiculous and "pleading for attention" but I swear thats not it. At all, I just need a response.. please.

Thank you
-Ren x


I understand all of these feelings/questions very well. Here recently I think I've gotten a lot closer to finding the 'answer' to all of them.

1.) Feeling like you don't have one real person to talk to...

My Answer: I still don't feel like I have any real person I can talk to (friend-wise). All of my friends talk about each other behind their backs, technically. Me and my friends never sit down and share 'deep' conversations. We usually all just crap around and have fun. I guess you could say that we have never had a dramatic event arise (like deaths in our families, of other friends, etc.) that would result in deep conversations. But on another level, I never have talked to them about me struggling with depression for years, anxiety, all of my life problems etc. I have really given up on having 'true' friends that won't talk about me behind my back and share person stories with me and vise versa. I believe 'friends' are really mostly out for their own gain deep down. Whether it be to move ahead socially or just to find the next best person to 'have fun with'. Maybe friends are different for other people but for me it is that way. Don't get me wrong, I care deeply about my friends and wouldn't want to ever replace them. However, this is my reality in regards to friends in my life. They are people strictly to share good times with. I wish I did have friends to talk about the bad times with though. Luckily, my family are the only people with who I share every aspect of my life with. Without them, I would probably explode.

2.) Never feeling good about themselves

My Answer: I still feel this way. I believe it's due mostly because of the chemical imbalance in my brain (anxiety and depression problems). But really, at the end of the day, I wouldn't want to be anyone but me. It's been a hard road to come to this conclusion but I do find a little peace in it. You only get one life, so I believe make the most out of everything you've been given and be the best you you can be.

3.) Acting like your nothing and you can never be your true self

My Answer: Same as the answer above. I struggled with this for years (and still struggle with this). Just learn to accept yourself and be the best you that you can be. I still haven't obtained the answer to all these questions. But I've gotten much closer these past few years.
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22 / M / California
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Posted 3/30/14 , edited 3/30/14
You can't always find people that understand you or know what you're going through. Understand there are still many people out there who care for you and you may not even realize it. Relax, don't over think. You are a person, a human being. You were not born to impress people. Be proud of who you are and I promise, others will notice and feed off your positive energy. What your experiencing and feeling is normal. What you're going through is not going to be the rest of your life. Nothing lasts forever. Life is a journey my friend.
Bavalt 
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28 / M / Canada
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Posted 3/30/14
Feeling like you've got nobody to talk to: You've already got a pretty good solution for this one. You've found a forum full of sympathetic strangers. Some of us can relate to your situation better than others, but by and large, whether we can or not, it looks like everyone here legitimately wants to help you out. My personal advice is that you can't expect to comfortably share all of yourself with someone without knowing them very well. It's not a problem that you can fix right away, but if you can make some friends who will stick by you, you'll find yourself naturally opening up to them over time. I don't know how your family situation is, but even if you don't feel comfortable opening up to your family members right now, they're there waiting for you if you want to strengthen those bonds.

Never feeling good about yourself: My best advice here is to try and drop the attitude that you owe the world something. Think about what you can get out of life, not what you can give. At the end of the day, the person who you're most relevant to is yourself: your primary obligation is living up to your own criteria and doing the things that will satisfy you. Start taking steps forward, or if you can't stop yourself from overthinking things, try to direct that brainpower towards creative or intellectual pursuits. Practicality isn't all it's cracked up to be. A 'useless' talent or hobby is worth just as much as a 'useful' one as long as its fulfilling its main purpose: enriching your own life.

Acting like you're nothing and can never be your true self: Realize that your 'true self' is not a single aspect of your identity. If you act differently around different people (almost everybody does), then those social masks are just as much 'you' as the person you are when you're alone. You might feel forced to behave a certain way sometimes, but it's still you who makes the final decision. I would personally recommend embracing these aspects of your personality: you'll be able to fit in much more naturally if you can stop worrying about not being 'true to yourself'. People don't and shouldn't make sense. You don't have to live by a maxim or a code; you're allowed to change your mind and contradict yourself. Accept yourself, and you'll find that people will naturally accept you in turn.
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Posted 3/30/14
Feeling like you don't have one real person to talk to - So? I don't need to talk about 'real' things to survive.

Never feeling good about themselves - So? I don't mind suffering. I'll carry on like nothing is wrong, and trick everyone into thinking everything is fine.

Acting like your nothing and you can never be your true self - So? What is my 'true self?' Is not my 'true self' who I am right now? This is my 'true self,' as is the person I will change into throughout my life. That is me, and this is also me. I'll accept it all as myself. All my numerous, conflicting and contradictory sides.
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Posted 3/30/14

BladeCold5 wrote:

-Feeling like you don't have one real person to talk to..
-Never feeling good about themselves
-Acting like your nothing and you can never be your true self'

I'm just looking for advice, I know this may seem crazy,ridiculous and "pleading for attention" but I swear thats not it. At all, I just need a response.. please.

Thank you
-Ren x


It's not crazy, ridiculous, or attention getting to want human connection, it's healthy. And you matter in this world. You are something to someone, and if not right now, you will be. Don't wait for it to come to you, go find it.

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