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love from another perspective
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24 / M / aruba
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Posted 4/1/14 , edited 4/2/14
I don't think that a lot of people have heard about this, but there is a theory that states that even when we give, we do it for the pleasure. If you think about this for a moment, you actually notice that every single step you take and every decision you make is actually a little block so you can build that something that you want achieve. People do this because it gives them a sense of accomplishment and a sense of realization. so everything you do, directly or indirectly, is related to you having pleasure from it or gaining pleasure. but that is not what i want to talk about. What i really wanna say is that I was thinking that maybe the highest form of pleasure is the one where you don't gain something directly but indirectly by giving. So the act of giving is the highest form of pleasure. I tried to justify this by taking love as an example. People can give love, but they don't have to receive any kind of love in exchange and this is something really basic about human nature. A human being can love someone and even though it might hurt, they still give love. Another example is someone who decided to stay away from someone so that that other person could be happy. Let's say that this person, for whatever reason, needs to stay from that other person so that he/she can be happy. This person is not gaining anything directly by staying away from that other person, but the fact that that other person can be happy can be more than enough and this is the extreme type of pleasure i'm talking about. I do consider this as love, a love where you give but you don't get anything in return.

so, what do you guys think?
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19 / M / Not a place you n...
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Posted 4/1/14
I actually think that's the purest type of love. Giving means (for me and quite a few other people, at least) that you've helped to improve someone else's life. Sure, you can constantly try to improve your own life, but one day you'll die and be forgotten about. Especially if you're having a bad life, giving to other people means that they can have good lives and they'll be able to get a chance at what you missed. Really, helping others probably gives the most meaning to life out of anything we could possibly do, in my opinion. It also shows that you really do care about someone if you don't expect to get anything in return and in fact, in some cases, suffer for it. Sometimes, a bittersweet feeling can have a bit more of a sweet taste than a bitter one.
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Posted 4/1/14
Howard Wolowitz: My power is the ability to pretend like I give a damn about your piddly-ass problems.
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F / West
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Posted 4/1/14
Thanks, now I realize I'm not that loving!
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33 / M
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Posted 4/1/14
This is something found in multiple religions. Sticking with the one I'm most familiar with - and whether you think it is made up by men or its source is the divine - Christianity teaches a lot about a giving type of love many call 'selfless love'; one where one is committed to making sacrifices if they have to to do well and serve others. This type of love is a component of what it means to be a good Christian.

Of course, multiple other religions teach and encourage selfless love and compassion. Buddhism is a religion that teaches overcoming your ego so that you can better help other beings, and Buddhism emphasizes compassion in particular more than any other religion. And of course, agnostics, atheists, naturalists, and others can have selfless love and deep compassion for other people and other types of beings.
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22 / M
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Posted 4/1/14
Ahem. -Clears throat.- So?
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21 / M / California
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Posted 4/1/14
Nifty.
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21 / SABER
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Posted 4/1/14
love takes many forms

love can be

Liking something
loving something ~~~ obliviously
admiration
adoration
thinking something as beautiful or pretty, and other such things

but it can also be

Resentment
hatred
displease(ment)
disdain
dislike

and those such emotions

love is felt every where indirectly and directly whether you notice it or not IT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE IN SOME FORM

i honestly only read apart of it so idk if i answered this correctly to your question lol
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19 / M
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Posted 4/1/14
Yuri is the purest form of love
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Posted 4/1/14
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25 / M
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Posted 4/1/14 , edited 4/1/14
Are you saying unrequited love is most pleasurable, because I may have to disagree. I think it's most painful.
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Posted 4/1/14
I think the purest form of love is one where two people mutually inspire each other to live.
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22 / F / *in his heart and...
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Posted 4/1/14
] wrote:

I think the purest form of love is one where two people mutually inspire each other to live.

I agree!! When in love you feel inspired to better each others lives and carry the weight of internal and external issues together! A mutal understanding!!
Posted 4/1/14
Him: All I do is give, give, give give. And all you do is take, take, take, take. I get nuffin!

Her: Ain't mah problem.

Bavalt 
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28 / M / Canada
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Posted 4/1/14
I'd say it varies by individual. My primary gauge of an activity's worth is how happy it makes the person doing it and how unhappy it makes others who are affected. I don't expect people to do things for others if it doesn't make them happy, and I strongly oppose actions that make others unhappy, even if more are made happy by them. Do what you want without bothering anyone, basically. For someone who considers this kind of love fulfilling and noble, it's a good thing. Anything that enriches your life is positive, and there's no reason to exclude this scenario. On the other hand, for those who don't feel happy from making others happy, this is probably not a good idea. It's probably not hurting anyone, but if there's no appeal in, then why do it?

Consider, however, that the object of this kind of love might prefer a more even relationship. There are lots of people who don't like to be spoiled, or who might even feel inadequate next to a partner that's always showering them in affection and praise because they feel they're not given a chance to reciprocate. It's probably not a common scenario, but I'm sure it does happen.

I'm not usually comfortable making any sort of moral ruling on something in general terms: people being people, it's impossible to tell what's best for someone without first knowing who that someone is. Lots of people feel fulfilled when they make others happy, but lots of them get greater fulfillment from other activities, and I'm not going to disparage them for it, given they're not pestering people doing so. Likewise, lots of people like to be treated well and liked, but some are indifferent, and some feel smothered or babied from too much of that behaviour. Ultimately, the love you're presenting here is an admirable thing, given that you're the type of person who can appreciate it, but not everyone is, and I'm not about to rank it above the things that make other types of people happy.
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