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Post Reply Being Single
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25 / M / Los Angeles / Hun...
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Posted 4/19/14
Sometimes I like being single, I like having my own space from time to time.
But, I miss being in a relationship. And , I don't like meeting new people lol
That and girls I like, love to play with my feelings. They'll tell me that they like me or something and a day or two later, they end up having a boyfriend.

I honestly gave up. If it happens, it happens, just wait I guess.
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29 / M / USA
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Posted 4/19/14
I have been single, I have been coupled.

Engaged just once, and I've one ex-fiance.

Overall, being single is easier...easier on your life choices, easier on your mental status (who wants to be flustered over whether another will be crossed by a seemingly insignificant choice?)....and most certainly, easier on your wallet! (we've all made poor decisions, I suppose...)

...However, being alone means that you are on your own. Having a relationship status of "single" does not do well to abate what can, at times, be an overwhelming sense of loneliness. This sense of isolation can lead to many other issues which could be discussed at greater length, had I the time or energy (my personal experiences largely pertaining to feelings of worthlessness).

That said, being in a relationship can be like a drug. The highest of highs, the lowest of lows, the smooth, creamy middles - the ride that we crave again and again, even if some of us have yet to experience it. Love is like a drug (noted twice for emphasis), but it takes genuine commitment, passion, patience, and so much more to be able to survive past the initial high, as the "love-high" does fade away, and you are then faced with not an idea, but a person.

And too many of us say that we hate people.

We hate people, forgetting that we too are people.

We all have darkness inside, accompanying our light, and too many have a hard time surviving the darkness.

At least, our first go around (if not our first few - if not our all).

Look...I know this is quite the ramble, but if there is one thing I want to leave behind, it can be summed up as a simple daily reminder:

We are all human.

Remember this in your daily lives. People - while vastly different - are very much the same. Don't let your ideas and ideals of reality mask the simple truth of things. We are all human.




....it seems I've ended on an not-so-related topic in relation to the original question.

I enjoy being single, I enjoy being in a relationship. I am single by choice, and I will be in a relationship by choice if and or when that time comes again. Until then, I will continue to live and enjoy my life as it is.

Because life is beautiful (darkness, light, and humanity included).
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34 / M / Midwestern United...
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Posted 4/19/14 , edited 4/19/14
Being in a relationship requires being willing to meet the needs of another... be it a friend, a mate, or a child as if they were your own needs. If you cannot do that, either you're not meant for those kinds of relationships, or you are but you haven't matured to that point yet. Note that the only problem is misidentifying yourself (including thinking you're meant for a relationship when you aren't).

As for me, I am single; I would very much like to one day find a wife, maybe have children (also open to adopting or foster care). The catch is that I have a lot of issues to deal with: familial, financial, emotional, and physical. At this point I sometimes feel guilty inflicting my presence on someone as a friend because of those. So while I have that yearning to blend my life with that of another, I don't think I could sustain a healthy relationship. Fortunately I don't exactly face a lot of temptation in this area; I wear some of my issues quite visibly and most reveal themselves after too long. I don't want to actively look for even a "girlfriend" until I've gotten at least some of problems sorted out and no one has ever looked at me as a romantic interest.

So for now I remain single, and I remind myself that may ultimately be my destiny... and if it is, that isn't a bad thing because it will let me work on my issues and then whatever other challenges and opportunities present themselves in this life. Free bit of advice though based on what I see regularly amongst my own friends and some of the comments here: if you want to be single, it is good not to jack with the "lifelong commitment button". The human brain and body are wired so that sex leads to emotional attachments. You can try and resist or break these attachments, but now you're crippling your ability to experience such a relationship. That's on top of the physiological risks; my friends have only experienced trouble from the former but I've been made aware of the latter by people who suffered nasty surprises like sterility or even worse health consequences.

Even maintaining a relationship is a constant, conscious decision and effort; that initial "spark" as it has been called is important, but the initial infatuation stage with someone only lasts so long and its up to the both of you to build a relationship upon it, so that when you've become used to each other, you get something deeper instead of thinking something is dead. Now, that is the end of the unsolicited advice; I'm not the boss of you. Oh, and if you're wondering: "Those who 'can' do; those who 'can't' teach!"; I generally pay attention to these kinds of things in the hopes I'll be able to personally make use of the information some day.
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26 / M / Mobile, Alabama
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Posted 4/19/14
I am single and I am okay with that. I can get along well enough by myself.
aymdg 
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F / Canada
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Posted 4/19/14
the best relationships are the ones that start off out of nowhere. i can vouch for that.

being single is a time to find yourself and do things you want to do. to be honest, being single is pretty great. its not only the freedom to do what you want but it really gives you time to think things through. why do you want to be in a relationship? is there a type of person you like? i think you need to be mentally and emotionally ready for one.

my last relationship was roughly three years ago. i was alone for awhile so i learned what i wanted for myself, figure out my goals and dreams for life. then i started dating again about eight months ago and guess what? hes been my best friend of four years. you never really know when it'll happen but i assure you it will.

needless to say, there are some crazzzzy bitches out there!! theres nothing wrong with being picky but keep an open mind.

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21 / F / Canada
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Posted 4/19/14
Well, I'm single by choice cos I want to focus on grades, getting into shape, and eating healthy.

I wouldn't say that I prefer to be single, since a good relationship can make both parties grow, but I definitely prefer being single right now. I dont have the energy or the time to maintain a relationship with someone at the moment. I know that I'm too insecure about the future, especially since I have no idea what I'm gonna be doing next year. So I think it's a good time for me to be alone and to do some soul searching xD
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19 / M / Ohio
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Posted 4/19/14
I gave up on realtionships a long time ago. I always devoted myself completely to the person I was with. And tried to be the best I could for them. Unfortunatly it always eneded with them saying I was too good for them. Guess it's my own fault though for being attracted to imperfection and low self esteem. Probably because I don't think I could ever do any better than someone that is just as broken as I am. (but they never are no one can be as broken as me)

So in the end I turned to the 2D world and this is probably where I will stay. I don't want kids nor do I care about sex. So it's not any different than a real relationship to me.
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M / USA
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Posted 4/19/14

Catman66 wrote:

I gave up on realtionships a long time ago. I always devoted myself completely to the person I was with. And tried to be the best I could for them. Unfortunatly it always eneded with them saying I was too good for them. Guess it's my own fault though for being attracted to imperfection and low self esteem. Probably because I don't think I could ever do any better than someone that is just as broken as I am. (but they never are no one can be as broken as me)

So in the end I turned to the 2D world and this is probably where I will stay. I don't want kids nor do I care about sex. So it's not any different than a real relationship to me.


You're only 17. Letting one person influence your life to the point of turning to the 2D world is a little dramatic. I'd say... don't completely cut-off your ties to the 3D world, but I won't tell you not to enjoy your 2D world either.
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19 / M / Ohio
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Posted 4/19/14

trmjkd989 wrote:


Catman66 wrote:

I gave up on realtionships a long time ago. I always devoted myself completely to the person I was with. And tried to be the best I could for them. Unfortunatly it always eneded with them saying I was too good for them. Guess it's my own fault though for being attracted to imperfection and low self esteem. Probably because I don't think I could ever do any better than someone that is just as broken as I am. (but they never are no one can be as broken as me)

So in the end I turned to the 2D world and this is probably where I will stay. I don't want kids nor do I care about sex. So it's not any different than a real relationship to me.


You're only 17. Letting one person influence your life to the point of turning to the 2D world is a little dramatic. I'd say... don't completely cut-off your ties to the 3D world, but I won't tell you not to enjoy your 2D world either.
I feel as though I should say that is was not just one person that influenced this. It was about five or so over the last 17 years. Every one of them ended in exactly the same way with that same line being spoken by the person I was with. "You're too good for me" But thank you for your words I'll think about them and then maybe some day I'll give the world a chance again.

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21 / F / Wonderland
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Posted 4/19/14
I've been asked on a date, but I've never been in a relationship.

I don't really believe in people meeting each other, going out on a couple of dates, then asking them to be their girlfriend/boyfriend.
I believe it's better when you go from being good friends for a long time to being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's what I hope to do one day.
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23 / M / Beyond The Wall
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Posted 4/19/14
I hate being single...
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18 / F / CA
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Posted 4/19/14
Agreed!
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29 / M / The Milky Way Galaxy
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Posted 4/19/14
To each their own. My Dad divorced my mom when I was about 8ish. I'm 26 now. Mom has been remarried since then. Dad hasn't. Both are very happy in their lives (that I know of). For me, I've had my share of serious relationships that have lasted a few years, some not as long. I am single now.

I want to meet someone again at some point in my life. I'm in a spot right now though where I am not able to manage a relationship so I have to sacrifice that area of my life for now (trying to move out of state). Do I want to be single forever? Absolutely not. Can some? Can many?

I'm sure they can. We are human beings. We are all related, yet so different and unique at the same time. It's a beautiful thing to embrace.

To end this though (good question by the way and what made you ask it if you don't mind diving into that). The girl I meet someday can have some things in common with me and others not. Some areas would be better to have in common (movies, television shows, etc.) and others can be vastly different (music) which I love because you get to learn about new things and get introduced to a whole new world of stuff due to the other person not having EVERYTHING in common with you.

At the end of the day, always be honest, caring, and genuine and look for that too from the other person. I always believe in 50/50 for how a relationship works best. It takes two to make it work :-).

Love, peace, and happiness to you all and have a wonderful holiday weekend.
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21 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 4/19/14
Well, I am single at the moment, is there a special character in my life that I wanna be around? No, not at all.

Like most people in the world, I get less rational and less efficient in my life while in a relationship exclusively. I need 100% of my concentration right now, I will probably never be fit for a relationship in a way of 1:1.

I don't prefer to be single. I just need to be single.
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29 / M / The Milky Way Galaxy
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Posted 4/19/14
Aw, I understand what you are saying, but I wouldn't say there isn't anything on here that isn't worth a glance or to think about.

Being genuine, honest, and caring goes for many things in life other than an intimate relationship. It is important for friendships as well.

:-)
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