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How hard should you try to get that special someone?
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25 / M / West-Central Florida
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Posted 4/28/14 , edited 4/28/14

CandyPopShop wrote:


mwhitco91 wrote:

If they're special to you and you're special to them, then it probably doesn't have to be hard.

If it's one way, it can be kinda creepy sometimes, and it often fails. Thus, it can be heart-breaking.

So...don't try to "get" that special someone. At all. Try to make yourself a special someone to your special someone instead. That way, it'll be easier in the end.


Please tell me how I can do that? D:


Just be there for them. Treat them well. Treat them right. If they wish to return any favors, don't decline them, even if it's just out of obligation. You may decline them once, but don't do so twice. Don't spoil them, and don't let them spoil you. Spend time with them, but don't smother them. Be someone who they can look to for advice and comfort. Be honest with them. Do not lecture them. Don't always be peaceful. Be assertive in situations that deserve it, but don't be over-assertive, don't go crazy, and try to NOT be so assertive against them. Don't defend all of your own opinions. Be a good listener. Avoid sensitive topics, like money, sex, and sometimes, the past.

This is just a short list, but if they're giving you these points as well, then maybe you're getting close to being on the same page.

...Basically, just be a friend. A true friend. Not a backstabbing friend that enjoys pointless drama. Not a friend who asks for tons of favors. Not a friend who you can look to for only comfort and attention. Not a friend who you do nothing but get into trouble with. Just a friend. There is no such thing as the "friend zone" when you do everything right. And even if there still is, then you know that this person isn't the one who is right for you, because they aren't in agreement with you.

It's a lot easier than it sounds.
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21 / M / Toledo, Ohio
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Posted 4/29/14 , edited 4/29/14
Well to say the least, don't become connected until you fully know what that person thinks of you. I've had multiple occasions where i cared to much to only learn they don't like me as I do them. I'm the type that says these things in person, so that doesn't help to hear. It'll save you on a broken heart, and its not a good feeling trust me. The number one thing always be you, don't try to be someone your not, you want people to fall for the real you not a fake one. Lastly if you truly have feelings for this person don't be afraid to tell them! Life is to short to not know if your stuck on deciding to or not, but lastly this is something that has helped me several times when it came to the one. whatever i may have needed to do "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" - From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27

Good luck! I truly hope it play out well for you in the end!
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Posted 4/29/14
Are they from this world? If so, then immediately give up. RL romance not worth it.
They 2D? ....also give up, 2D girls are too good for us (well, clearly too good for those MCs as well, but Anime logic). Admiring them is all we can do.

Give up on romance, it is just a fantasy in this world. Until the day we can become 2D ourselves, forever alone.
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31 / M / Seattle
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Posted 4/29/14
Well going off my past experience.. you need to sit down with her and make sure she knows you are officially giving her the title. It does not matter how many dates you go on, how you spend your time together, how much you go out of your way for her, or anything else that would make her obviously a girlfriend or whatever. Without the title you could be the most romantic loving person on the planet and she will despise you because you were not clear about it.

Hmm I guess a more positive view would say that if you really need to think about it then it was probably not meant to be.
Posted 5/2/14

mwhitco91 wrote:


CandyPopShop wrote:


mwhitco91 wrote:

If they're special to you and you're special to them, then it probably doesn't have to be hard.

If it's one way, it can be kinda creepy sometimes, and it often fails. Thus, it can be heart-breaking.

So...don't try to "get" that special someone. At all. Try to make yourself a special someone to your special someone instead. That way, it'll be easier in the end.


Please tell me how I can do that? D:


Just be there for them. Treat them well. Treat them right. If they wish to return any favors, don't decline them, even if it's just out of obligation. You may decline them once, but don't do so twice. Don't spoil them, and don't let them spoil you. Spend time with them, but don't smother them. Be someone who they can look to for advice and comfort. Be honest with them. Do not lecture them. Don't always be peaceful. Be assertive in situations that deserve it, but don't be over-assertive, don't go crazy, and try to NOT be so assertive against them. Don't defend all of your own opinions. Be a good listener. Avoid sensitive topics, like money, sex, and sometimes, the past.

This is just a short list, but if they're giving you these points as well, then maybe you're getting close to being on the same page.

...Basically, just be a friend. A true friend. Not a backstabbing friend that enjoys pointless drama. Not a friend who asks for tons of favors. Not a friend who you can look to for only comfort and attention. Not a friend who you do nothing but get into trouble with. Just a friend. There is no such thing as the "friend zone" when you do everything right. And even if there still is, then you know that this person isn't the one who is right for you, because they aren't in agreement with you.

It's a lot easier than it sounds.


T_T Wow............. This is SO DIFFICULT!!!!!!! I mean, I gotta try like, BE THE BEST FRIEND THAT I NEVER WAS. ><
Thanks (Y) <333333333333
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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 5/2/14

CandyPopShop wrote:


mwhitco91 wrote:

If they're special to you and you're special to them, then it probably doesn't have to be hard.

If it's one way, it can be kinda creepy sometimes, and it often fails. Thus, it can be heart-breaking.

So...don't try to "get" that special someone. At all. Try to make yourself a special someone to your special someone instead. That way, it'll be easier in the end.


Please tell me how I can do that? D:


Focus on being yourself as you act like a true friend towards that person. (Is what he's trying to say)
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Posted 5/2/14
People play so many mind games with each other, and life is short. Let them know you are interested, if they are at least receptive to you pursuing them, then carry on with the "hunt". Otherwise, move on to someone who appreciates you and your efforts.
It really shouldn't be that hard, where it becomes a chore.
You could be missing out on another someone special, by continuing to try with the one who is dragging your heart around.
Posted 5/2/14
Break your toes and ask for comfort.
Posted 5/2/14 , edited 5/2/14

Personnad wrote:

When do you know when to stop trying? How do you know when to stop trying? How do you know if s/he is worth the trouble if they're playing hard to get?


You stop trying when you have reached your limit. You are the one in control.
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M / HI
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Posted 5/2/14

PRose- wrote:

This threads is going to make everyone sound desperate.
So I should sound extremely desperate too ..

I would Voodoo that persons parents so they would love only me
so he would have no other choice .. besides me obviously. Actually, I would
Voodoo his ass too just in case. Done.

How does that sound? totally awesome? cool.


Haha I like this tactic
Posted 5/2/14

PRose- wrote:

This threads is going to make everyone sound desperate.
So I should sound extremely desperate too ..

I would Voodoo that persons parents so they would love only me
so he would have no other choice .. besides me obviously. Actually, I would
Voodoo his ass too just in case. Done.

How does that sound? totally awesome? cool.


Last time you just deleted me. Does that mean I'm voodooed?
Posted 5/3/14
If you're linked by fate you'll surely meet and you both will surely find it natural to just be together.

Trying to get that special someone is different than trying to find that special someone.
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22 / F / *in his heart and...
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Posted 5/3/14

14383421 wrote:

If you're linked by fate you'll surely meet and you both will surely find it natural to just be together.

Trying to get that special someone is different than trying to find that special someone.



Sooooo true! because with if you are trying to get with him/her and their just a major slut/douche but, of course being blinded by these over powering feeling and you just don't while you are completely unaware the potential sole-mate is right freaking behind you but, too blind to see it! Happens every time.
Posted 5/3/14
ok guys you get a serious answer from me. you don't ever try for that someone special, it just happens. i wouldn't call it fate but if you try in force something, then it will never work. all you can do is make sure you don't give up on yourself and you'll find that person.


chao_mein wrote:

Break your toes and ask for comfort.


would you break my legs too please
Posted 5/3/14

shimmer_ wrote:

ok guys you get a serious answer from me. you don't ever try for that someone special, it just happens. i wouldn't call it fate but if you try in force something, then it will never work. all you can do is make sure you don't give up on yourself and you'll find that person.


chao_mein wrote:

Break your toes and ask for comfort.


would you break my legs too please


I'd rather say, "break a leg."
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