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Post Reply is trust needed in a friendship?
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31 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 5/4/14 , edited 5/4/14
im wondering this right now, how many need trust to be friends.
thing is, im distant friend with some one i would never trust. we have never been really close, and a while back he got into some really bad trouble with the law. (illegal porn investigation)
and while i will never trust the guy again, or relationship has pretty much not change, he is still a distant friend.

im wondering, what about the rest of yal here?
Sogno- 
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Posted 5/4/14
a friend without some degree of trust is more of an acquaintance
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21 / M
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Posted 5/4/14
If you can't trust them, then why befriend them? That's what I say anyway. Perhaps the reason why I barely have any now.
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18 / M / England
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Posted 5/4/14 , edited 5/4/14
I wouldn't need to feel they were trustworthy so much as I would need to feel they weren't untrustworthy if you get what I mean. I don't expect them to be going and saving me from drowning in a river or something, but if I felt they'd start telling loads of my private info to people or lying, I wouldn't be friends with them. Call me a loner if you want, internet, but I only really have one proper friend I stay in contact with. We both trust each other with all sorts of stuff. Once he just came out and said 'It's why I like hentai better than normal porn, the camera angles are better' he just trusted I wouldn't tell anyone at school. Did I? No, because I'm not a prick like that, and I've trusted him with stuff about me as well. Though we've known each other for about a decade so if we couldn't trust each other by now it would be silly. The only other friend I really talk to is a friend of his who he's known for about 14 or 15 years so I trust he won't talk shit about me either.

In short, I think there are boundaries. If someone was super gossip-y and the like I'd probably avoid being friends with them, but if I feel there's at least some air of trust I'll give being friends a shot. You don't need huge levels of trust, just know if you feel you can't trust them as far as you can throw them, they're probably not worth befriending, and you're just throwing yourself into a firing line of problems. I feel the word 'friend' is tossed around too easily these days. I remember at school one kid I'd spoken to a few times believed we were friends. Talking to each other and not disliking each other doesn't make you 'friends' as much as it does 'acquaintances'.
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21 / F
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Posted 5/4/14
No thats silly ur meant to be paranoid all the way and go psycho on them for every lil thing ~
everytime they do something and tell you something they cannot be trusted. you cannot believe them.

That makes the best friendship.

Nah, ofc, i 'trust' those who i consider close friends without even realising how much i actually do.


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M / California
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Posted 5/4/14
What kind of question is this? Seriously, man.
Posted 5/4/14
Well of course. If I say something to a friend that's my personal opinion about something or someone and it isn't very nice I wouldn't appreciate it if the whole world knew. I also trust a friend to not talk about/badmouth me or someone important to me, but I know it's really out of my control if they do.

So yes, I guess trust is needed in some parts of a friendship.
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28 / M / Toledo
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Posted 5/4/14 , edited 5/4/14
I trust my friends to disappoint me.


.....Seriously though if I call a person a friend I trust them completely and feel that I am very close to them. If I don't trust you 100% then you are just an acquaintance...though I may say you are a friend just so I don't have to go into the awkward details in regards to levels of which I place people.

Also this amused me slightly.
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M / playing minesweeper
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Posted 5/4/14
there are people you can love unconditionally and don't expect trust from and wouldn't put them in position where they might do something untrustworthy. i will be untrustworthy if the secret is something if told will be of beneficial to them in the long run (like they are putting their life in danger).

i don't care too much about the details, like BLACKOUTMK2 i don't like gossipers and people who have something to show for because they don't understand yet that there is nothing to gain but the short lived attention they might enjoy. but if i have friends like that, i'll only but make sure i don't test them if they will do what i already expect they'll do. doubt itself is to do with trust and you still must be prudent.
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Posted 5/4/14

Sogno- wrote:

a friend without some degree of trust is more of an acquaintance


this
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M / playing minesweeper
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Posted 5/4/14 , edited 5/4/14
oh btw, i don't fully understand the concept of friendship according to how everyone would see it, no lie.

^^ lol the secret garden xD
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16 / M / New York
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Posted 5/4/14
Definitely. I have to be able to trust that person with topics that I don't want other people to know. They can't talk smack about me behind their backs and then put on a different persona around me.
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F / West
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Posted 5/4/14
Need? It is most definitely "wanted".
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20 / M / Delaware
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Posted 5/4/14
If I can't trust someone, I wouldn't consider myself their friend or them mine.
Posted 5/4/14
You need to trust them in order to have them as a friend. THey also need to trust you too!
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