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The Importance of Socializing
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19 / M
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Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14
(The Not Important Part)=====================================


I am/was a homeschooler and something of a hikkikomori. I hang out with my only two friends occasionally. But other than that, I sit around at home doing school-or, now being done until the start of college, playing games, practicing piano, and watching anime.

I've been this way for a little over a year. Before then I had lots of opportunities to hang out with other people, typically through religious youth groups and small parties arranged by other homeschoolers. As I frequented them, I came to realize how fake most of it was. The religious youth groups would be little more than an excuse for sexually frustrated teenagers to sit next to each other while simultaneously professing to be there because they loved God. It was a brilliant way to cause an excess of drama.

The small parties arranged by homeschoolers were mostly board game nights. Better, but not by much.

I now avoid any kind of social even with more than 5 people like the plague.
I must be clear in saying that I am not the slightest bit shy. I don't have trouble socializing, but it becomes repulsive after a while.


When stopped "seeing" people, I had a huge problem with loneliness. I would reach for anything mentally intensive to take my mind of things. After a while, my feelings of loneliness had subsided quite a bit. I still become extremely lonely if I don't see my two friends at least once a month though. As a human being I don't think I can ever escape that.

(The Important Part)=======================================

So my questions for you are: How important is socializing to you, Do you often find socializing to be "fake" or repulsive, and How do you deal with loneliness?
Posted 5/6/14
I don't get how people who choose to be alone end up feeling lonely. *shrug*

I don't socialize much. I find it troublesome for the most part because a lot of people happen to have a lot of expectations when they're trying to be friends with me. I don't go out of my way to talk to or hang out with anyone because most of the time I really don't feel like doing so. That, for some people, is unusual. I also dislike hanging out with people in groups. It's distracting to me and very annoying when half the people are on their phones. I prefer going out to lunch or something with a friend or two (though I usually stick to hanging out with people one on one) because it's more personal and easier to talk that way.

Generally, I find "socializing" to be an exhausting and unnecessary (to some degree) activity. I don't think it's repulsive, but it can get pretty annoying sometimes depending on the people you're interacting with. That's pretty much why I choose not to bother with it when I don't have to.
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32 / M / Córdoba, Argentina
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Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14
I work from home so I don't socialize with anyone anymore.

I am "asocial", I don't mind hanging around with people as long as I like them (not many individuals, actually) but I'm not really fond of it. Loneliness never was a real problem to me, I enjoy being alone, maybe the "I'm not loved by a girl" thing kinda bothers me because it makes me feel "inferior" to normal people, but I got used to it.

However, I think socializing is vital, because that way you get contacts that can be useful sometime in the future. One of those "friends" can get you a job, or something you may need at some point. It sounds awful, I know, but it's the truth.
It's a lot easier to get a job (or a better one) if you have contacts.
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21 / M / The Netherlands
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Posted 5/6/14
I dont think i have talked to anyone in real life except for the people behind the counter of the supermarket for 3 months now.
I have been speaking to a friend on skype tho.
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21 / M
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Posted 5/6/14
I may be introverted but I still love talking to people on Skype if they clearly share similar interests. I don't socialize because I think it's important, it's because it's one of those fun things to do like watching anime. Variety spices life up IMO.

I haven't talked to anyone IRL though. It's much more convenient to do so within the comfort of my own mancave.
Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14
I don't hang out with people too much since I find it a little exhausting. I have one close friend, and we are both introverts so we don't expect each other to constantly text each other or be connected at the side.

I don't find socializing fake or repulsive (unless for benefits), and I found most people who do find it fake are kind of cynical to begin with (before you hate on me, I have seen plenty of this. Not ALL, but most are), and by taking college psychology classes, I find that socializing is really important whether one likes to admit it or not.

I don't get lonely since my alone time is my "recharging" time, but if I ever find myself lonely, I have my close friend and a playlist of depressing music if I wish to wallow in it.
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Posted 5/6/14

edwarx wrote:

I work from home so I don't socialize with anyone anymore.

I am "asocial", I don't mind hanging around with people as long as I like them (not many individuals, actually) but I'm not really fond of it. Loneliness never was a real problem to me, I enjoy being alone, maybe the "I'm not loved by a girl" thing kinda bothers me because it makes me feel "inferior" to normal people, but I got used to it.

However, I think socializing is vital, because that way you get contacts that can be useful sometime in the future. One of those "friends" can get you a job, or something you may need at some point. It sounds awful, I know, but it's the truth.
It's a lot easier to get a job (or a better one) if you have contacts.


The wanting to be loved by a girl and working part being different, I share the same thoughts.
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19 / M / Finland
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Posted 5/6/14
I'm an extremely lazy person. I always try to do everything the easy way even if not intentionally. This includes socializing. It's not that I just hate everybody, I just don't give a shit about anything or anyone. I have friends and I get along pretty well with people if I feel the desire to, but I don't feel any special connection with them. For some reason I'm only interested on people I don't get along well. It's kinda amusing. I also live in countryside which is very problematic for my nature, as I'm just too lazy to go into town and hang-out with people.
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Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14
Up until about 4th grade I was very social and what not, then I just...wasn't.

Haven't gone out with friends in close to two years. Perfectly happy.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Posted 5/6/14
sleep
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 5/6/14
Socialization is important for me, but on a very small scale. I'm introverted and generally keep to myself, but I like some mingling and am usually friendly when I do so. I don't get particularly lonely when I'm on my own, but I can get bored after a while. There are some people who I'm a chatterbox with, too. I'm careful about it, because alot of socializing physically/mentally drains me and I crash afterwards. I'm rather adverse to regular interactions with people that I don't feel especially close to. Conversely, I'm very good at public speaking when I put my mind to it, and I have no problem asserting myself.

My want for socialization comes and goes in bursts. Even on CR, I'll chat quite a bit with someone, but then I'll withdraw after a while... And then I may eventually spit out paragraphs again. I'll put off answering notifications and messages until I feel up to engaging, too.
Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14
You can be in a room full of people, and still be lonely.

Just because you're homeschooled doesn't mean you are unable to socialize and have friends, and just because you go to an actual school doesn't mean you'll be able to socialize and have friends.

Anyway, it is important to socialize to some extent but some prefer more, others less. It all comes down to how you personally feel. Sometimes I feel like being with people, but more often than not, I prefer being alone.

At the end of the day, we cannot depend on others for happiness or entertainment.
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23 / F / The MOOOON
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Posted 5/6/14
No. I enjoy being alone. I find that maybe i'm strange because iv'e never been lonely.
Posted 5/6/14
If you can't communicate, you can't even ask for help.
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Posted 5/6/14
Socializing (IRL) is often (as Shikamaru from Naruto would say) a pain, a drag. It's not so much that I don't like people or am incapable of socializing as it is the fact that I just am rather lazy about partaking in such activities.
I do hang out with a few close friends on occasion and family of course, but other than that, not so much. It might be different if there were more people with similar views and interests as mine around, but it just isn't the case when I'm a far left atheist vegan nerd living in the midwest w/ hardcore conservatives and Christians who shoot something every chance they get.
Online socializing is much better for filling that void at this point in my life and I use that instead. I get lonely/depressed on occasion, but this happens to everyone I imagine to a point and is part of the human condition.
So, I think socializing is important to an extent, but it's not the be all and end all of your existence like American media portrays it to be. And yeah, most of socializing is fake bullshit meant only to further your own interests or the other party's. Unless it's a genuine relationship, why bother with 99% of it to begin with?
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