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The Importance of Socializing
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F / t h e v o i d
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Posted 5/6/14
Well, to get into a good college after high school, it forces me to socialize and join clubs and sports. I'm not in any at the moment, but just the thought of interacting and doing things that don't appeal to me make me exhausted. I think classes are easy, and my family is pushing me to go into honors, but my motivation and procrastination is too strong.
My friends are usually the ones who instigate the text messaging. When they do, (I know they mean no harm) I just wanna lay on the floor and sleep. Usually after school ends, socializing's over and I hit my bed and sleep for 3 hours. High school is so full of extra drama it's suffocating. I used to be very open, but I got tired of people's bull. Socializing is good, but it's not for everyone. I can put on a mask like 'yes, I do care'. But as soon as I'm done, it's like my life force is gone, and I go and hibernate.
In fact, when I do go out, it usually makes me want to go back home since people can be really frustrating to me. When I am lonely, I think 'I could go out with some people' but then after I contact them, I'm not gonna wanna do it anymore and end up stuck with some plans.
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21 / M / The Void
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Posted 5/6/14
I hate almost anything social, mainly because none of it matters in the slightest. It's just another form of entertainment, and one that I don't like at that. I never liked to be around more than one friend when I was still social when I was younger, but now mainly keep to myself. Others irritate me with their ignorance and their shallow, worthless opinions about things they've never given a moment of thought. The lack of depth of the thought of most others is a plague on this earth and I can't stand to be around it. Now of course this is a generalization, there are always exceptions, but sadly none exist around me. I'm happy with myself and my anti-social life, and wouldn't trade it for anything.
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30 / F / NY
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Posted 5/6/14
Socializing is definitely important, for personal reasons, business reasons, so on. I'm a homebody but I make my awkward efforts to socialize when I see people I know
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20 / M / Eng Land
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Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14
I've never been that sociable, I prefer the peace and quiet. I'm not that great in conversation with people, either. Like you, I'm not shy, It's just that as someone who's hobbies all revolve around me being in my house I never really have anything to talk about. It's also why I prefer conversations through text. As soulless as it may be, at least it gives me a few seconds or minutes to think through what I'm going to say. In normal conversation that would just be an awkward silence that makes everything strange. I think that it's because I'm around family so much that I'm never really lonely. If I were to be alone 24/7 it would probably soon start to get old.

I'm also usually crap with Skype. I don't like to say no because if I decline a call it's like I'm saying 'no, go away' which makes me feel bad, but when I'm on my PC I'm usually reading, making music, watching anime or playing games, and I can't concentrate on that and holding a conversation, or I have to turn down the volume of what I'm doing down which makes whatever I'm up to far less enjoyable. Essentially I usually end up just sat there doing nothing but talking to them for however long they're on for.

Don't get me started on the conversation starters. Whoever I'm on with might go on for a minute or so about what happened during their day, and then when they ask 'So, what did you do today' it's always 'Uhh... Pffff.... Not a lot really.' because I literally have done crap all, or if I did do something it wouldn't interest them anyway. I don't like going out, either. I find it a hassle and troublesome since most outdoor activities really don't interest me. It's more of a chore than something fun or relaxing. Most people would find that weird, but then people often dislike others acting differently to them.

They say socialising is important, but is it really? Well, if I were in a formal situation, say, an interview, I'd be able to hold my own just fine. If you aren't super awkward and shy around people, I wouldn't have thought it's all that neccessary. I was the shy kid at one point, but I just grew more confident towards the end of my school years, and I think that's because the whole socialising thing just happened naturally. Of the times I did do it, I didn't know I was doing it or think to myself 'time to socialise'. The worst way to socialise is to try and force it, in my opinion. If it comes naturally then it does, if it doesn't it doesn't, though I will say I sometimes put on a mask in front of people (there are always those who you don't really want to talk to but they start up a conversation anyway and you just kind of roll with it).

P.s. I don't blame you for avoiding groups of more than 5 people. There's often a point where I feel there's too many, and it becomes a pain to try and get a word in. I prefer being with one or two people.
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30 / M / Central KY.
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Posted 5/6/14

demongurrl13 wrote:

I don't get how people who choose to be alone end up feeling lonely. *shrug*

I don't socialize much. I find it troublesome for the most part because a lot of people happen to have a lot of expectations when they're trying to be friends with me. I don't go out of my way to talk to or hang out with anyone because most of the time I really don't feel like doing so. That, for some people, is unusual. I also dislike hanging out with people in groups. It's distracting to me and very annoying when half the people are on their phones. I prefer going out to lunch or something with a friend or two (though I usually stick to hanging out with people one on one) because it's more personal and easier to talk that way.

Generally, I find "socializing" to be an exhausting and unnecessary (to some degree) activity. I don't think it's repulsive, but it can get pretty annoying sometimes depending on the people you're interacting with. That's pretty much why I choose not to bother with it when I don't have to.


This Lady always takes the words that I didn't even know were there right out of My mouth.
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21 / F / Balmer, Murlin
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Posted 5/6/14

aeb0717 wrote:

Socialization is important for me, but on a very small scale. I'm introverted and generally keep to myself, but I like some mingling and am usually friendly when I do so. I don't get particularly lonely when I'm on my own, but I can get bored after a while. There are some people who I'm a chatterbox with, too. I'm careful about it, because alot of socializing physically/mentally drains me and I crash afterwards. I'm rather adverse to regular interactions with people that I don't feel especially close to. Conversely, I'm very good at public speaking when I put my mind to it, and I have no problem asserting myself.

My want for socialization comes and goes in bursts. Even on CR, I'll chat quite a bit with someone, but then I'll withdraw after a while... And then I may eventually spit out paragraphs again. I'll put off answering notifications and messages until I feel up to engaging, too.


I am pretty much the exact same way. I do like being social, chatting, having fun with others, but it wears me down after a while. When I do get too overwhelmed and have to withdraw, I feel incredibly guilty, because I feel like I shouldn't disappoint the people who want to be around me. I don't want to make it seem like I don't enjoy their company. I know that's silly, but still.

I'm fine with pleasantries with strangers, but it does feel awkward and I sometimes avoid it. Like, if I know I'll bump into such-and-such acquaintance if I go one direction, and they're particularly chatty, I'll likely go the other direction to avoid them. It's nothing personal, I just don't feel up to it sometimes.

I also have been told that I am a good public speaker. For the life of me, I don't know how, but I find it pretty easy to talk to crowds as long as I know what I'm talking about and I don't have to hang around for long after I'm done. It is very draining.

That all said, socializing is very important to me. It's important to make connections with other people. That's what makes life meaningful, at east in my eyes. You can learn so much and enjoy life so much more if you're willing to put yourself out there and mingle a bit.
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21 / M
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Posted 5/6/14 , edited 10/11/14
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 5/6/14
Meanwhile, as I wait for the social butterflies to appear.
Sogno- 
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Posted 5/6/14
i think it's important. at least it always makes me feel nice, 'cuz i'm usually on my own.
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21 / SABER
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Posted 5/6/14
my real self speaking ~~~what is a social life????????????

my annoying self speaking ~~i could whip out my sociology book and throw down about 3 units with 7 chapters in each with about 5 pages per chapter on this topic
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25 / M / Inside Lorreen's...
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Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14
How important is socializing for me? I would consider it pretty important, I am a talkative little fellow that thrives on gossip. Even though I am well into college now.

Of course I work from home now, don't go to school due to bad grades, and for the last 2-3 years have only kept up with maybe half a dozen of my old school/work friends. Short of friends I have made through like MMO's or Crunchyroll at least, which then only brings up the total to maybe 2 dozen?

I try not to be fake with my conversations, nor do I consider socializing fake or repulsive. I don't get lonely though, if you choose to be alone, and find yourself lonely, you are doing it wrong. I see my friends enough to not feel lonely so I never have to deal with that.
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20 / M / The Internet
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Posted 5/6/14
As with most of my complaints about real life and my school, they are still narrow minded and push for assimilation of the communities interests and hobbies down your throat into a 'one of us' cultist scenario. So if you don't assimilate, good luck being a part of anything. The only thing that gets funding is popular things, even though it's one of the biggest schools in the state. Think of a town environment, but with a city mentality and population (the WalMart of public schooling).

Basically, I don't socialize with anyone unless I have to with a group project (the group makes me do the work, since they will happily fail the project and I don't have the luxury of doing so) and dwell within my own insanity. When I've played WoW, I was technically socializing on the internets, but they were never within my age range, and the ones I did encounter were either filthy Horde, drunk, or PvP raging idiots (I wasn't surprised by this, but whatever). I've been alone during my childhood, and it has molded me to the cynical gamer that is me today. So if I were to be approached (could happen in college) it would appear that I'd be shy, but I'd have no idea how to keep a face to face conversation up, except make their ears bleed by being a walking Warcraft encyclopedia.

Now, if you can socialize with someone who shares the same interests, possibly experiences, and hobbies as you, then it's most definitely positive and enjoyable (why would you be on the forums otherwise?), but beyond this, I can be found in the corners of the halls, being shoved off to the side by the idiots trying to grope girls and ever so slowly walk through said halls to make out with them and make me late to class.
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19 / M
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Posted 5/6/14



I did not mean to imply that I was lonely because I was homeschooled.

I meant that I was fed up with socializing and that I find it better to be lonely that to go out of my way to be around people.
Posted 5/6/14
seems like your problem is all your socializing has been connect to religious reasons. i'm also guessing you were home schooled for those reasons also. anything having to do with religion is going to seem fake or forced, more so in your situation and like you observed tends to turn people off. you'll be fine once you start college i think, as long as it involves you staying on campus. you'll meet people not in your circle and it won't feel repulsive anymore
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19 / M
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Posted 5/6/14


I agree with you, but for different reasons
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