First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  Next  Last
The Importance of Socializing
Posted 5/6/14
Love hate relationship with it. As much as I would love to socialize, the people I hang out with usually turn out to be boring as fuck. Time goes by, and you just end up being a loner.
7155 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M
Offline
Posted 5/6/14

shimmer_ wrote:

seems like your problem is all your socializing has been connect to religious reasons. i'm also guessing you were home schooled for those reasons also. anything having to do with religion is going to seem fake or forced, more so in your situation and like you observed tends to turn people off. you'll be fine once you start college i think, as long as it involves you staying on campus. you'll meet people not in your circle and it won't feel repulsive anymore




I was actually homeschooled because my parents thought that public schools had extremely low standards :P
I gave those examples because those were the most prominent sources of socialization for me. But, I had the same problem socializing with classmates from dual credit classes I took at a community college.
Posted 5/6/14

Atheyon wrote:


shimmer_ wrote:

seems like your problem is all your socializing has been connect to religious reasons. i'm also guessing you were home schooled for those reasons also. anything having to do with religion is going to seem fake or forced, more so in your situation and like you observed tends to turn people off. you'll be fine once you start college i think, as long as it involves you staying on campus. you'll meet people not in your circle and it won't feel repulsive anymore




I was actually homeschooled because my parents thought that public schools had extremely low standards :P
I gave those examples because those were the most prominent sources of socialization for me. But, I had the same problem socializing with classmates from dual credit classes I took at a community college.


that's why i guessed, it's the usual reason. CC is completely different than a real university, but maybe you just don't want to be bothered, simple really.
1964 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22
Offline
Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14
Socializing's important to me.
I'm naturally something of a hermit, I don't have much to say and I have trouble sympathizing sometimes, so I don't do well keeping close friends. But if I'm alone for too long, I become really stagnant and settle into the same, almost hikkineet routine. Going out and seeing people just for fun keeps me sane. I like having lots of casual friends around to call whenever just to go hang out and forget about work. No need to maintain a relationship, no need to kick up a fuss when someone can't make an appointment. Just to chat to when there's time and keep company for activities like flying a kite or going to the beach.
Bonding with others over trivial things is nice during work as well. Even if it is mostly trivial things and social etiquette, being able to greet and talk about stupid things with others helps both me and the other person open up, so we can more readily rely on one another. I wouldn't dare ask a person I haven't shared a meal with to tell me what I missed if I skipped a class or a meeting.

:I If this is what people actually do in real life, I'll probably grow into the kind of person who hits the bar right after work with all their coworkers in a few years.


Oh, right! This is a thing that I've only seen happening recently, but I really like that people mention when they're tired. I can understand that after a certain point, socializing becomes unpleasant and it wears you out, so I appreciate when people tell me that. I don't want to drag you around if you all you want to do is go home and watch Netflix.
25238 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / F / Florida, USA
Offline
Posted 5/6/14
I mainly socialize for "I have to" reasons. Otherwise, I just chill by myself or with people from work depending on what they are doing. Of course there is socializing in the form of forums but I usually don't know what to say (as far as starting a thread) or the topic isn't something I know a lot of to make a comment. I mainly like not being sociable because I love the feeling of me doing things I like without having to worry about another person. I'm at my own pace and timing of things. I've pretty much given up on dating/finding someone but if it happens I won't stop it from happening.
Bavalt 
22105 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / Canada
Offline
Posted 5/6/14
I'm comfortable by myself, and comfortable around friends, especially in groups. I'm not a naturally talkative person, and often have trouble keeping up my end of the conversation because unless it's about something I'm interested in, my mind will invariably be off somewhere else, and it's exhausting trying to come up with things to say. My worst-case scenario is being stuck one-on-one with someone I don't have much in common with, unless they're either really talkative (so I can just mostly listen and get comfortable around them quicker) or don't find silence awkward (in which case we can both be comfortable without talking).

Around my friends, I'm actually quite gregarious, but to anyone else, I've been told I often come across as cold at first. I'm pretty shy, so I withdraw around people I don't know, and it takes them a little while to realize that I'm actually extremely laid-back. I'm not a very good conversationalist, because I'm never 'prepared' to respond to things like the weather or the type of stories that people usually tell about their day - no matter how often they come up, they always take me by surprise, simply because it's not the sort of thing I think about, and my response is usually a grunt, intoned to reflect the emotion I think they expect me to answer with. Despite all that though, I'm extremely approachable, and have no problem with people talking at me to pass the time.

As for how often I like to socialize, it depends completely on how many opportunities I get to do so. A lot of the time, I'm in a position where I either have to be around people, or have to be alone. In those cases, I always begin to crave the opposite. In a sort of responsibility vacuum, though, my behaviour is usually something like:

- Spend several hours/days alone watching anime, reading, working on a project, researching stuff, etc.
- Find someone receptive to the topic and start excitedly gushing about whatever it is I've been doing.
- Repeat.
- Occasionally actually go do stuff with friends.

My major motive in socialization is in finding people who'll share my interest in, well, my interests, and unload all the excitement I build up pursuing said interest onto them. I can entertain myself for a long time alone, but the problem is that I'm too good at it, and sooner or later, I feel like I need to share it with someone or I'll end up working myself into a frenzy over it and just start pacing around the house to work off all the energy I've built up. Social interaction tires me out, which is why it's an indispensable part of my routine. And every now and then, I'll actually feel the need to go out and do something, which is usually a nice change of pace. Even though I'm almost always relieved when I get back home, I genuinely enjoy spending time with people. It's just a lot of work.
10362 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M
Offline
Posted 5/6/14
I think socializing is super important because you are being introduced to new hobbies and lifestyles as you meet new people. I prefer hanging out in groups because of the wide variety of people and personally would rather not chill with just one person if I had the chance to hang out with more. Don't get me wrong though, there are times when i prefer to be alone... just sit back and relax and watch some good anime with some snacks and coffee.
13415 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M / Atlantic Beach, NC
Offline
Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14
To me.... my social life has always been a bit wonky.

When I was growing up initially, I wasn't able to talk. I was able to swim and read before I could actually say more than a word or two at a time, it was really weird because while I could read very fluently at the age of 4, I couldn't actually formulate sentences on my own. On top of that, I grew up in a really.... uh.... "bad" household so to speak, and I was bullied and ostracized excessively in high school. I still am an easy target for teasing today because even though I compete in triathlons and serve our military, I am undoubtedly on the more effeminate side. I'm not gay, not even metro, but I am constantly berated for not being manly, despite things like my athletic physique and my knowledge of self defense and weapons. Not to mention I have a lot of nerdisms and am constantly shoving people off to spend time alone to read, play video games, or watch anime.

So at a very early age and still today, I relish in my introversion and value my time alone. Competitive swimming was my sport of choice because while I competed as a part of official teams, it's not a team sport like basketball or soccer. I also played piano because I could spend that time alone. I don't like to think that I'm a misanthrope (though I certainly can be at times), but people in general just.... kinda bore me. I'm much more intrigued by the characters in stories that I grew up with, as I was a huge book worm when I was a kid and nowadays I read manga and watch anime for that outlet.

I have a few friends, and that's all I need. I literally would be dead if my sister and my best friend didn't save my life, so I owe everything to them. Outside of them and a couple other few though, most people I keep at an arm's distance. I get really bored with the generic small talk. I get it's point, it's just to make nice with people but so much of it is.... kinda dull. I don't care that you know some guy who used to swim like me, just like how I know that you don't really care that I used to swim. This conversation isn't revealing anything about us, it feels so guarded and fake while we hide behind our facades making nice with each other.

This is getting to be rather verbose but at the end of the day, socializing to me is important, but only when it matters, and it matters seemingly very rarely. As far as loneliness goes, I do admit that sometimes I do feel very much alone. But I have enough people I care about and care about me in my life to where that void never grows to a level to where I'm uncomfortable. Most of the time when I feel lonely, I just read another book or start another show and end up so engrossed in the characters and that world, that I don't feel alone anymore at all.

You can call it sad if you want. But that's the truth of it. Maybe it's a coping mechanism I developed for myself where working out and reading pretty much filled the emptiness my parents and those bullies spent so long and so much effort creating. But that's the truth of it. I feel at home when I'm in the water swimming. I don't feel alone laughing or crying alongside a cast of characters in a show or book.

It's what makes me happy I guess. But I will definitely admit that I am undoubtedly a very odd case.
18164 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
U.S.
Offline
Posted 5/6/14

demongurrl13 wrote:

I don't get how people who choose to be alone end up feeling lonely. *shrug*

I don't socialize much. I find it troublesome for the most part because a lot of people happen to have a lot of expectations when they're trying to be friends with me. I don't go out of my way to talk to or hang out with anyone because most of the time I really don't feel like doing so. That, for some people, is unusual. I also dislike hanging out with people in groups. It's distracting to me and very annoying when half the people are on their phones. I prefer going out to lunch or something with a friend or two (though I usually stick to hanging out with people one on one) because it's more personal and easier to talk that way.

Generally, I find "socializing" to be an exhausting and unnecessary (to some degree) activity. I don't think it's repulsive, but it can get pretty annoying sometimes depending on the people you're interacting with. That's pretty much why I choose not to bother with it when I don't have to.


The way you describe yourself is somewhat what an introvert is. I'm not bashing you on any sort.
Introverts can socialize. They have to recharge their batteries after socializing, compared to extroverts where they get their energies from other people. Introverts go for more quality people than quantity.
If introverts decide not to join on one of the outings/experiences, it doesn't mean they hate it. Keep asking them to join in. Don't give up on them.


63499 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / M
Offline
Posted 5/6/14
Why not just watch anime instead?
Posted 5/6/14 , edited 5/6/14

bathroom64wrote:

Why not just watch anime instead?


18164 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
U.S.
Offline
Posted 5/6/14

GayAsianBoy wrote:


bathroom64wrote:

Why not just watch anime instead?




Too bad. She never won the The Voice.
37824 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / Sunny SoCal!!!
Offline
Posted 5/6/14
Ever since I started working over night I don't get to be social with anyone unless its on the internet.
Posted 5/6/14

onibrotonel wrote:

Too bad. She never won the The Voice.


Some of those American viewers have a problem with her and her cleavage.
14742 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / F / US of A
Offline
Posted 5/7/14
Socializing is one of those things that I would do every once in a while, whether I want to or not. Being an introvert in such an extroverted world, it's not surprising that people think I'm weird for my repulsion to any social event. I need a lot of time to recharge after speaking to someone. It's like being a phone that runs for ten minutes full battery but needs to recharge for a whole hour afterwards. Whether it socializing is important to me or not...kinda? I like talking to people, but I have to be in a social mood which doesn't happen very often. I have to be motivated to be in that mood (or coerced by free food).
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.