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This woman wants to change how we look at our bodies
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27 / M / RI, USA
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Posted 5/22/14
In all honesty i praise her for what shes doing but in a physical world where EVERYBODY and i mean everybody is judged on their appearance whether people say they do or not ( which everyone does otherwise everyone would find everyone physically attractive) nothing is going to change. She'll reach a few peoples hearts and she'll help a few lives and self image lackers but that's it. Her message will be forgotten by the mass majority of society in less than a year. I have all the respect in the world for her purpose but it's just falling on deaf eyes and ears. Lets just hope that she takes the few as a huge accomplishment and isn't discouraged when 5 years down the road everyones forgotten her purpose and she slides back into being judged by the society around her.
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30 / M / Central KY.
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Posted 5/22/14
I say good for Her! Also, well written Topic demongurrl13, and One I know many of Us struggle with.
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36 / M
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Posted 5/22/14
Pretty much everyone wants to be attractive. The problem is that thanks to mass media the societal ideal of what is considered attractive has been restricted to a very specific subset of the population. Of course, throughout history, every society has had ideals of attraction that only part of the populace fulfills. The ideals for straight men are about as specific as those for women, but there is a bit less pressure on the physical appearance front. We face more of our pressure on behavioral fronts. The funny part is, a surprising amount of what both men and women do is to put forth an image toward the same sex. Guys need to be "manly" and gals need to be "pretty".

My personal reaction has been to define my own ideals and pursue them relentlessly. There is overlap with the societal ideals, but there are also areas where many people even actively disapprove of my chosen ideals. I don't much care. As long as I fit in enough to function and have at least a shot at success, I don't need to fit in more than that.

It sounds like you have begun to understand your personal issues, but that you are unsure how to proceed. Perhaps you should start by defining what "beautiful" means to you. Then you could decide whether or not that ideal is safely achievable for you. If it is, make sure your definition is clear and decide on steps toward each component of that ideal and begin setting goals. If it is not safely achievable (both parts are important) then I would focus on working to change that ideal for yourself until it is. No one can escape the influence of the culture they were raised in or the influence of the culture they live in. Anyone can decide to be proactive in how they react to and internalize those cultural messages and ideals though.
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24 / cheesecakes
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Posted 5/22/14
Personally after encountering a wide variety of people and their personalities idc about whether they're thin as cardboard or not.
Though I still think people who let fat accumulates in their bodies without trying to exercise at all or lets say not trying to cut back on those cheese etc. are just lazy.
I can't get fat no matter how much I eat so I've never felt insecure about my body until lately.
What I feel after eating those 1000 calories meal from burger king plus another thousand calories from a slice of cake is awful. I feel guilty for eating those unhealthy foods. And I can actually feel those fats around my middle.
it gets in my way and I feel uncomfortable so I wanna change it by exercising.
Point is its about how I feel about myself.
its really no different from growing out hair because I feel pretty with it or getting braces so I can smile more confidently
I'm not making much sense imsorry ;;
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F / somehwere in the...
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Posted 5/22/14
I understand what the woman is trying to say, but really that's not how the world always thinks. I am a 5'2" 112 Filipino Mexican girl and I get called fat because I wear a size 3 in juniors. after a while I just start to give up on trying to stay skinny, especially when my boyfriend wants me to enjoy eating out with him and keeps buying me ice cream after a long and stressful week at work. plus it doesn't help that my supervisors and boss encourage me to eat more so that I won't blow away easily in the wind >.<

to each their own, but that's what I think.
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30 / M / Atlanta, GA
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Posted 5/22/14
Gross. Not a fan of people promoting getting fatter for any reason. Sure you may feel great mentally being large, but I'd rather take a better physical condition than eating my way to a heart attack.
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21 / F / Canada
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Posted 5/22/14
Well there's nothing wrong with wanting to lose a few pounds to improve yourself.

If we can improve our bodies (and by extension self-confidence) then why not? If you're not uncomfortable with the body that you have now, then change it. For example I would love to lose 20-30ish pounds, it's kind of a long term goal for me, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my health to lose the weight (ie, I'm not gonna starve myself, and neurotically count carbs) I know that I'll be more confident with my body if I can lose the weight, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

Some girls want to gain weight, some want bigger breasts, wider hips, thinner hips, a thigh gap, etc. Most people would tell these girls "No, you're fine just the way you are! you shouldnt change your body!" They mostly say it to the girls who want to weight (because they're scared that they have a self-confidence issue, and they're scared that they might starve themselves to lose the weight.). Losing to weight to look better or to wear the clothes that you want to wear is a perfectly valid reason. Just do it in a healthy manner, and be realistic.
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26 / M / Houma
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Posted 5/22/14 , edited 5/22/14

ciciAzn wrote:

Personally after encountering a wide variety of people and their personalities idc about whether they're thin as cardboard or not.
Though I still think people who let fat accumulates in their bodies without trying to exercise at all or lets say not trying to cut back on those cheese etc. are just lazy.
I can't get fat no matter how much I eat so I've never felt insecure about my body until lately.
What I feel after eating those 1000 calories meal from burger king plus another thousand calories from a slice of cake is awful. I feel guilty for eating those unhealthy foods. And I can actually feel those fats around my middle.
it gets in my way and I feel uncomfortable so I wanna change it by exercising.
Point is its about how I feel about myself.
its really no different from growing out hair because I feel pretty with it or getting braces so I can smile more confidently
I'm not making much sense imsorry ;;


It's mostly about getting the right amount of kcal so that your energy level matches your activity level. You want to make sure you get in certain key nutrients and avoid overdoing any of them. I know a few people who are very athletic and can run a sub 4.5 40yd dash that eat large portions at McDonald's on almost a daily basis. These people take in massive amounts of kcal but they also have a strong work ethic and high activity level to burn those kcal off.

I was actually losing weight at one point by eating 4000kcal/day while I was doing high intensity interval training everyday for two months. I lost a total of 60lbs doing that. Then I focused more on rebuilding that weight as muscle mass until I met my previous weight. Now that I am moving towards a lower energy lifestyle though I'm cutting back to about 2500kcal/day while interval training so I can drop to 240. If I control where I get those nutrients from and make sure that I do some maintenance lifting that will be a very lean 240lbs at about 12% fat.

In short, don't feel guilty over eating unhealthy things as long as you are not overindulging on them, just make sure you manage your energy well.

[to avoid confusion a kilocalorie is 1000 calories (with a lowercase 'c') the kcal is usually denoted on US food labels as Calories (with a capital 'C') and is also known as "food calories"]
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28 / M / Rochester, MN
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Posted 5/22/14

demongurrl13 wrote:
I have conflicted feelings about how I view my body and the reason for why I want to change it. Every time I decide to "change my lifestyle / eating habits" I tell myself and everyone else within earshot that I'm doing it to be "healthy." I want to be healthy... or so I wish. I keep telling myself it's because I'm "unhealthy." Yeah, that's how I view myself... or so I wish.

That is true for a lot of people. Many people, myself included, have insecurities about their self-image. I have always been physically active but had really bad eating habits. It was just recently when my brother had come home after being at his graduate school for a year did I make great efforts to being fit (he's got a big gut and got me to think that I might end up like him xD)


demongurrl13 wrote:
The truth is that no matter how many times I throw about the idea of being unhealthy and wanting to improve my health, at the very back of my mind the core idea has always been and probably will always be that I want to lose weight because I'm fat and disgusting and I wish I could look like I used to and wear the clothes that I used to wear. It's never so much about health as it is about wanting desperately to shut people up from telling me how I've gained weight and am now fat.

If that's what it takes for you to get motivated, why not? You can tell them straight up, that you are trying to improve yourself so you get a self-esteem boost. I certainly do. Whenever my friends ask me why I'm going hard on the workouts day in day out, I just tell them plainly, "I want to look good so I can feel good about myself." Vain? Maybe. Liberating? Hell yes. But the thing is, the misconception with "losing weight" is you need to EAT LESS. That is very untrue. All you have to do is cut back on BAD CALORIES (sugars, simple carbs, BAD FATS) vs taking in GOOD CALORIES (proteins, complex carbs, GOOD FATS) and put in the time working out. If you are interested, check this out Nerd Fitness Article

And in the end, if you start eating healthy and continue with your workout regimen, you will be healthy, feel healthy, and look fucking fabulous to yourself and to everyone!


Posted 5/22/14

Syndicaidramon wrote:

But you're admitting that to yourself right now, are you not? So why be in denial about it? Why not embrace the fact that you do feel that way, and then use that as a motivator to make a change?
After all, people don't change if they don't feel like they need to change.
Don't delude yourself. Whatever emotion you're harboring, face it head on. Accept it, and use it as best as you can to make improvements.


Why should I embrace the fact that I dislike my body because people tell me I should dislike it? I am fighting that frame of mind because I don't want to dislike my body. There are days when I feel absolutely amazing and I think I look hot as hell, but then there are days when I don't feel that way because I hear my mother and father's voices in my head telling me I'm fat and should really stop eating. Do I really feel that way? I don't think so... but it's a struggle to not pay attention to it and not let it dictate how I should feel about myself.

I think you are misunderstanding me completely. I am not trying to delude myself. What I am doing is trying to break free from the negative self-image I have based on what other people tell me I should feel about myself. If I am going to make a change in my life, I will do it for me... NOT for the voices in my head influenced by people telling me how I should be.
Posted 5/22/14 , edited 5/22/14
No point getting sexy if your face needs a paper bag.
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26 / M / Houma
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Posted 5/22/14 , edited 5/22/14

DaKromwell wrote:

But the thing is, the misconception with "losing weight" is you need to EAT LESS. That is very untrue. All you have to do is cut back on BAD CALORIES (sugars, simple carbs, BAD FATS) vs taking in GOOD CALORIES (proteins, complex carbs, GOOD FATS) and put in the time working out. If you are interested, check this out Nerd Fitness Article

And in the end, if you start eating healthy and continue with your workout regimen, you will be healthy, feel healthy, and look fucking fabulous to yourself and to everyone!


^This was the point I was trying to get across and you probably made it out much more clearly than I did and that link right there further proves it.

"On top of super heavy strength training, Staci had to eat between 3000-4000 calories per day (all healthy calories, mind you) to put on the extra weight."

When gaining mass you need to have the correct macro-nutrients for the type of mass you want to gain and you require a positive Calorie balance (energy burned < Calorie intake). When I mention that I ate 4000 Calories a day they think I'm crazy but it all comes down to you have to eat to fuel yourself.

I do want to downsize because there isn't much point in being 320lbs anymore for me so my goal is an energy deficit. (I no longer really have a use for benching 300+ and pushing around other 300lb people) Controlling WHERE those Calories come from will be essential to make sure I don't overshoot it and lose too much strength.

Any girls out there afraid of weightlifting should learn that normal hormone levels should prevent ridiculous manly looking muscle hypertrophy so I say don't worry about it and give it a try. 8-10 reps, that's the range you should be fatigued at if you are training at the correct weight.
Posted 5/22/14
We should all love ourselves, regardless of our weight and/or fat. Living in a society where it pressures you to look a certain way is hard. It should stop pressuring women to lose weight. And those certain people who are against society shouldn't shame people for being skinny. People come in all shapes and sizes. AND WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL, so stop holding back! If you're really concerned about your weight, you should so something about it. ~ If you're not, rock yo body!

...But if any of you's wants a thigh gap, shoot for it... But I'm just saying, your thighs are SUPPOSED to touch there. It ain't natural if it doesn't.
Posted 5/22/14 , edited 5/22/14

UnlimitedEnergy wrote:

Gross. Not a fan of people promoting getting fatter for any reason. Sure you may feel great mentally being large, but I'd rather take a better physical condition than eating my way to a heart attack.


You might need to worry about your comprehension skills before worrying about other people's physical appearance.
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25 / M / Fenix, AZ
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Posted 5/22/14

Riesel wrote:

No point getting sexy if your face needs a paper bag.


AHAHAHAHA!!! that alone was worth me clicking on this thread
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