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This woman wants to change how we look at our bodies
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36 / M / Denver
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Posted 5/22/14 , edited 5/22/14
I cut my hair because if it gets in my eyes, it annoys me. I closely clip my fingernails because otherwise I might slice open training partners. I use a stubble trimmer because if I close-shave I get ingrown hairs, and I only shave because a beard will itch and interfere with my barbecue habits.

I train obsessively because that's the place where I can be myself without being constrained by other people or systems, and that training has made me semi-buffed. I have the resting heart rate in the range of an endurance athlete, because that's what happened. I mostly watch my calories, but I don't deprive myself of something I really want.

So, my physical body is some mixture of pragmatism, and expressing myself. That's probably as good as it gets, and I don't really care about how it's viewed or where it falls within the range.
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26 / M / Pandemonium
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Posted 5/22/14

demongurrl13
Why should I embrace the fact that I dislike my body because people tell me I should dislike it? I am fighting that frame of mind because I don't want to dislike my body. There are days when I feel absolutely amazing and I think I look hot as hell, but then there are days when I don't feel that way because I hear my mother and father's voices in my head telling me I'm fat and should really stop eating. Do I really feel that way? I don't think so... but it's a struggle to not pay attention to it and not let it dictate how I should feel about myself.

I think you are misunderstanding me completely. I am not trying to delude myself. What I am doing is trying to break free from the negative self-image I have based on what other people tell me I should feel about myself. If I am going to make a change in my life, I will do it for me... NOT for the voices in my head influenced by people telling me how I should be.


Ah, well in that case I understand better.
Here's what you do: if you are really, truly happy with who you are, then you be happy with who you are. And you tell everyone who tries to tell you otherwise to fuck off.
Posted 5/22/14

Syndicaidramon wrote:

Ah, well in that case I understand better.
Here's what you do: if you are really, truly happy with who you are, then you be happy with who you are. And you tell everyone who tries to tell you otherwise to fuck off.


Easier said than done. If it were that easy, this woman wouldn't feel the need to make this documentary.
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26 / M / Pandemonium
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Posted 5/22/14

demongurrl13 wrote:


Syndicaidramon wrote:

Ah, well in that case I understand better.
Here's what you do: if you are really, truly happy with who you are, then you be happy with who you are. And you tell everyone who tries to tell you otherwise to fuck off.


Easier said than done. If it were that easy, this woman wouldn't feel the need to make this documentary.


I'm sorry, but I'm having a hard time relating to that.
Not that I don't have complexes about my body, which I do, but because my complexes are a product of my own ideals rather than that of other people. No one has ever told me to be ashamed of my body. It's just a matter of what I find to be ideal myself.
And I think that's the preferred sort of mindset. At least most of the time...
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30 / M / Atlanta, GA
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Posted 5/22/14

demongurrl13 wrote:


UnlimitedEnergy wrote:

Gross. Not a fan of people promoting getting fatter for any reason. Sure you may feel great mentally being large, but I'd rather take a better physical condition than eating my way to a heart attack.


You might need to worry about your comprehension skills before worrying about other people's physical appearance.


For the sake of conversation here and not resorting to insults I'll explain, though I don't foresee this ending well.

If someone's going to hate themselves for whatever reason, a documentary isn't going to do much. Without writing a book here, if someone hates themselves a movie about a random woman loving herself isn't going to do much. Takes an internal change first and then the movie doesn't matter because you already love yourself.

This is rather demotivational if you ask me. If I want to workout to be healthy then you say "oh don't worry about all that, just love yourself!" Then I toss aside the will to be healthy or anything really because why not as long as I love myself.

I used to be pretty fat, I was like 185 (I'm 5'6" or something, short enough for 185 to be a problem for my health). I got gastroesophaegal reflux disease and the doc said lose 30 pounds or take meds. If I saw some nonsense like this saying be proud of who you are I could be well over 200 today, or hell let the reflux disease turn into something worse and be worse off than I used to be. Instead, I realized the risks involved and stopped eating like a slob and went to the gym and lost the weight. Fat may be the theme of what I'm saying apparently, but the point is "being happy with yourself" has limitations.

And for the record, I think my comprehension skills are pretty solid.
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Posted 5/22/14 , edited 5/22/14
I really do wish I could see the video, but stupidly enough I uninstalled my sound card driver a while back, and am too lazy to re install it.
Although, I do want to point out that your body and how good it looks shouldn't have anything to do with who you are as a person, and you shouldn't feel bad just because of a little fat. However, I do believe that people should eat healthy and get a good amount of exercise, not for superficial reasons but for health reasons. With a little research, that I am almost unwilling to do, you can easily find millions of reasons why to stay healthy.

"Eating a healthy, balanced diet provides nutrients to your body. These nutrients give you energy and keep your heart beating, your brain active, and your muscles working.

Nutrients also help build and strengthen bones, muscles, and tendons and also regulate body processes, such as blood pressure.

Good nutrition can lower your risk of developing a range of chronic diseases. For example, eating more fruit and vegetables can help lower blood pressure and may lower your risk of certain types of cancer (such as colorectal, breast, lung and prostate cancer). Eating less saturated fat may also lower your risk of heart disease.

Healthy eating can also help people that already have some types of disease or illness such as diabetes, high cholesterol and blood pressure. And, of course, improving your eating habits will contribute to you achieving and maintaining a healthy weight."

- http://www.livelifewell.nsw.gov.au/healthyeating/
First result I came across, not too much time required.
Then there's also other websites which back that quote up such as Harvard' website
http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/whole-grains/
Where you can find a bunch of nutritional facts about why you should eat healthy, and what type of diets you should practice.

Well, my thesis is essentially this...
[Don't do it to look pretty, do it because its healthy and if you dont youre going to die a lot faster than if you did practice the right type of health.]
Side note: As you start to eat healthy, it starts to taste a LOT better...
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Posted 5/22/14

Syndicaidramon wrote:


demongurrl13 wrote:


Syndicaidramon wrote:

Ah, well in that case I understand better.
Here's what you do: if you are really, truly happy with who you are, then you be happy with who you are. And you tell everyone who tries to tell you otherwise to fuck off.


Easier said than done. If it were that easy, this woman wouldn't feel the need to make this documentary.


I'm sorry, but I'm having a hard time relating to that.
Not that I don't have complexes about my body, which I do, but because my complexes are a product of my own ideals rather than that of other people. No one has ever told me to be ashamed of my body. It's just a matter of what I find to be ideal myself.
And I think that's the preferred sort of mindset. At least most of the time...


Im not a female, but part of the problem of the 'female' community, as Ive heard, are that they constantly judge each other, and even if they arent judging each other, they have this thing in their mind which is telling them that they are being judged.
Females also have this unrealistic standard for beauty that they see almost daily, its a constant barrage of "use this mascara for long lashes" "use this face powder stuff to look sexy" and they feel as though they are supposed to meet these, may I say, PHOTOSHOPPED standards that are practically shoved in their faces daily. Not only that, but to add on to the fact that they have to see these literally impossible to reach standards, they have genetics. This is much much more difficult on girls than guys because for some reason guys dont care about how their face looks, but girls do, and no matter how much make up they put on, no matter what type of clothing they wear, thats not going to change the way they look too much, its not going to alter their bone structure to create a more "beautiful" face or give them, I dont know if they care about this or not but according to the internet they do, a nicer butt.
So with all this pressure girls feel about beauty, its only natural for it to be complex to them, now the simple solution is to grow a penis, but thats not going to work, its also a bad solution.
However, a realistic solution is to stop looking at beauty magazines, and ignore society's impossible standards of beauty, realize that you are you, and buying that new mascara isnt going to change that. So just be you, and little by little start to ignore societys unrealistic standard on 'beauty' (while keeping in mind your health), and eventually you will become more confident as you look back and wondered why you even cared in the first place.
Posted 5/22/14 , edited 5/22/14

Syndicaidramon wrote:

I'm sorry, but I'm having a hard time relating to that.
Not that I don't have complexes about my body, which I do, but because my complexes are a product of my own ideals rather than that of other people. No one has ever told me to be ashamed of my body. It's just a matter of what I find to be ideal myself.
And I think that's the preferred sort of mindset. At least most of the time...


You're very lucky. If you ever had to feel what that feels like, especially coming from your family who you would think should love you for who you are, I'm pretty sure you'll know why it's not so easy to just say "fuck off."


UnlimitedEnergy wrote:

For the sake of conversation here and not resorting to insults I'll explain, though I don't foresee this ending well.

If someone's going to hate themselves for whatever reason, a documentary isn't going to do much. Without writing a book here, if someone hates themselves a movie about a random woman loving herself isn't going to do much. Takes an internal change first and then the movie doesn't matter because you already love yourself.

This is rather demotivational if you ask me. If I want to workout to be healthy then you say "oh don't worry about all that, just love yourself!" Then I toss aside the will to be healthy or anything really because why not as long as I love myself.

I used to be pretty fat, I was like 185 (I'm 5'6" or something, short enough for 185 to be a problem for my health). I got gastroesophaegal reflux disease and the doc said lose 30 pounds or take meds. If I saw some nonsense like this saying be proud of who you are I could be well over 200 today, or hell let the reflux disease turn into something worse and be worse off than I used to be. Instead, I realized the risks involved and stopped eating like a slob and went to the gym and lost the weight. Fat may be the theme of what I'm saying apparently, but the point is "being happy with yourself" has limitations.

And for the record, I think my comprehension skills are pretty solid.


The point is not to say, "It's fine to be unhealthy. Go on, stuff your face some more because it's great to be fat." The point is that no matter if you're thin or slim or chubby or "fat;" if you have one boob or two, a thigh gap or no gap, visible collarbones or invisible ones -- you should never be ashamed of your body. And if you should ever decide you want to make a change, do it because you want to better yourself and take care of your health, not because you are desperately chasing after somebody else's idea of what your body should look like.

I think this video about advertising really brings to light why perhaps we DO need a documentary like this and why it's important to let people know it's perfectly okay to not look like a supermodel, that's it's perfectly fine to be a size 8 if it's not affecting your ability to climb a flight of stairs, and that it's alright if you weren't born with porcelain skin.

By the way, I couldn't help but feel like you're one of those people who think that lower numbers on a scale automatically means you're healthier than someone who weighs more than you. Uhmmm... It doesn't always work like that. Are heavyweights less healthy than flyweights? I don't think so...
Sogno- 
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Posted 5/22/14

Riesel wrote:

No point getting sexy if your face needs a paper bag.


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Posted 5/22/14
Just limit portion sizes. Thats all i did. Your not gunna suddenly lose 1000 pounds in 3 months, but you gradually trim weight. Dont even think about losing weight, that will come as a side effect. Just begin to eat a little bit less at a time. I started by first just keeping my meals under 2000 calories per day and trashing the majority of fast food or junk food. I kept it at abut 1500 calores and i lost like 10 lbs in a couple of weeks. I was hungry at first, but in reality, i was actually full, but the brain takes about 15 mins to recieve that signal. So before you go for seconds, wait 15 mins and see if you aren't already full.

And actually, speaking of fast food. There was a guy who ate McDonalds 3 times a day for three months, or something like that. And at the end, he actually lost a couple of pounds! Its because he counted the calories and didnt exceed 2000 calories. My cousin told me that a few months ago, and recently, i made up my mind and actually do it.

I started this maybe 5 or 6 weeks ago, and when i started, I was about 197.9 Now, I'm 183.3 And its only been a few weeks. And thats just diet. I havent even started any kind of physical fitness yet.

So I'm telling you, it's possible. Dont try and lose 100000000 pounds in like 5 days. That kind of stuff doesnt work, and if it does, im sure i has some serious side effects. Slow and steady wins the race, and it keeps the fat off in the long run too
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19 / M / Somewhere
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Posted 5/22/14 , edited 5/22/14
dang..
Posted 5/23/14 , edited 5/23/14
Anti New Jersey rifles.
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Posted 5/23/14 , edited 5/23/14
This subject more or less borderlines on ego flaunting.

1). There's people who have the "cosmo" worthy bodies (just a random girl magezine) and feel enthralled and decide it's the most ideal, beautiful, etc,etc way to look
2). then there's the people who don't yet want to achieve this image.

Why? Ego, They care what others think. and when the achieve this they feel empowered from the new found ego-boost

Personally people should quit labeling themselves. And take this piece of advice " YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE "
It doesn't matter if you're OCD, talented, have perfect skin. These things don't matter. if it really makes you happy to look a certain way. Go for it make yourself happy. but don't do it for others opinion, as soon as your doing that your doing something for all the wrong reasons
Do what you love. Be happy.


Tl:Dr Image is in the eye of the beholder. quit judging those around you, and quit judging yourself. You are who you are.
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Posted 5/23/14
Good message! I hope things do change soon.

It's a real problem that society encourages people to make such a big deal about all their bodies and "imperfections" or so to speak.

It's just really discouraging that instead of having tolerance and respect for each other and our individuality, so many people aggressively try to shove each other into these tiny boxes that society and their personal opinions have created." People should do this, people should do that". People will do whatever they please. Get over yourself. There's a difference between having an opinion and having a god complex and pushing your opinion on other people. Live and let live.

I just hope one day society will explode and die and we can start over from common sense and natural selection. Maybe then we'd start caring more about love and respecting each other and less about stupid shit like how big someone's ass is.
Jah666 
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31 / M / Mississippi
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Posted 5/23/14
Happy is a state of mind. Just live. All the healthy or unhealthy in the world won't save you from some causes of death.
Posted 5/23/14 , edited 5/23/14
If you want to feel better about your body make it a habit of being naked as much as possible and put mirrors above your bed. Also, follow Patrick Bateman's morning routine.
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