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age differences
Posted 5/22/14
age is nothing but a number. If someone truly likes someone age shouldnt matter but then again there are laws so... but as long as they are of legal age. I'm 24 i dont mind dating someone older than I or younger ( i stop at 18 lol) if I really like the person.
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Posted 5/22/14
For me when both parties are of legal age, well age doesn't matter.
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21 / M / United Federation...
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Posted 5/22/14
If both are legal then it's fine.
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20 / M
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Posted 5/22/14
If they're 18 and older who cares
Posted 5/22/14
I'm 12. She's 50.
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34 / M / Midwestern United...
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Posted 5/22/14 , edited 5/22/14
First... what is "dating"? I view dating as a means of searching for a spouse; while it can seem like pure ecstasy or violent torment and everything in between... it isn't just something to do "for fun". If you want fun, just hang out with friends (male or female)... but that's me and many (most?) people disagree with me about that.

To avoid my usual wall of text, the biggest concern is maturity: mental, physical, emotional... and perhaps even spiritual (if you subscribe to such things). This is separate from age of consent laws, which certainly matter but are a one-size-fits all solution that doesn't actually fit all. If age of consent is 18 and you're not, regardless of the age of your "love", enjoy a chaste friendship. Biological maturation tends to expose the brain to what would be abnormal levels of hormones and other bits of biochemistry that in a grown adult, would get him or her classified as legally insane.

If you're truly mature enough in all areas to begin a relationship but you're not at the age of consent... actually many areas would permit even marriage so long as there is parental consent from the underage parties, so dating is only an issue if you insist on... well... doing it wrong. it used to be you did most of your "courting" where concerned parties could keep an eye on you, and if you're this particular situation that is probably your best solution. If you're well above the age of consent... make sure you're really mature enough to handle a romantic relationship, even one that isn't rushing into sexual experiences. If you are struggling to be a good friend, you probably aren't going to make much of a girlfriend/boyfriend. Don't dawdle, but don't rush.
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21 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 5/22/14
I was seeing a guy in his late 30's whenever I was 17.

Now I could be carrying the.... The.... Ugh..
Posted 5/22/14
personally prefer to date someone close to my age. 25-30.

Similar life experiences, similar wisdom etc... I like my relationship to be of equal footing... when someone knows too much more or too little than me... I feel like it's more of... a mentor relationship rather than an intimate one...




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Posted 5/22/14
I feel like age difference shouldn't matter as long as both members of the relationship are mentally mature enough to make their own decisions. However, I am not implying anyone over the legal age, a mentally mature person, hypothetically speaking, could be 12, and a mentally immature person, again hypothetical, could be over the age of 46. The problem is determining the mental maturity of an individual, its much more difficult to tell because its not superficial, you cant look at a person and visually see how mentally mature they are, you actually have to have a conversation with that person to be able to determine their maturity.
So, hypothetically speaking, I would be perfectly fine with a 98 year old and 2 year old being in a relationship, however I would not condone sexual behavior as a 2 year old obviously hasn't sexually matured.
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29 / M / Kentucky
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Posted 5/23/14
I'm 27 and my current GF is 20. Age is just a number to me and her.
Posted 5/23/14

chao_mein wrote:

I'm 12. She's 50.


The Thai sex industry is a tough place
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M / State College, PA
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Posted 5/23/14

jonotronsan wrote:

The problem with age differences in a relationships is that a person's goals and priorities shift greatly as they age. When you are young you want to gain experience/education, then you want to establish a career, then you want to start a family, then you want to build up your finances, then you want to retire. That's a simplified timeline, but in general people of different ages are on different paths. In the past, as in when your grandparents married times were simpler. Inflation wasn't as bad and people who attended college were almost guaranteed a solid career. People also started families sooner. I think that there is nothing immoral about a couple of differing ages dating provided that both are mature adults, however the likely-hood of a relationship like that lasting are slim. An example from my own experience: I once dated a girl who was 18 when I was 15 and things ended abruptly simply because she wanted to take things much more seriously than I did. I just wanted a girlfriend but she wanted a relationship.


This is the post that makes most sense of them all without resorting to "feels". Most people think love is all that matters in a relationship, but when they say so they mostly think of the initial feelings of love: being passionate and completely oblivious of your partner's flaws. A true relationship is based on supporting each other, understanding each other and "standing" each other. Differences in goals, beliefs, interests, they all seem unimportant at the beginning of a relationship, and that can help even people with huge age differences to get together, but for it to last... well a lot of factors come into play, and, usually, the outcome is worse as the age gap increases.

P.S. It is usually pointless to cite experiences from our parents and grandparents, as thing changed dramatically with the years, in particular the role of women in our societies.

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23 / M / the internet
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Posted 5/23/14
As you get older age gaps seem to get more publicly acceptable. I tend to try to stay within 3 years of my age both up and down.
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30 / M / USA
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Posted 5/23/14
If you're a guy, comfortable rule of thumb is divide your age by half and add 7. Too far out of that and maturity usually becomes an issue.
Posted 5/23/14

shimmer_ wrote:


chao_mein wrote:

I'm 12. She's 50.


The Thai sex industry is a tough place


You've got it tough.
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