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Post Reply Opinions are tricky and so is respect!
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24 / M / Osaka
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Posted 5/26/14 , edited 5/26/14

qualeshia3 wrote:



That's the hard part. I am much of a people pleaser, I dislike verbal confrontation, but I'm willing to try and share my opinions. There will ALWAYS be an unpopular opinion that gets people angry once it's spoken.

If you had to separate people into different groups for this subject, I'd say there are those who:

1) Don't want to step on anybody's toes and fear doing so.
2) Who will sneakily step on others' toes just as much as they feel they can while getting away with it.
3) Who walk around a bit carelessly and might end up stepping on other people's toes sometimes.
4) Who deliberately step on a toe if they feel it's misbehaving.
5) Who step on other peoples' toes all the time and obviously enjoy doing it.

1 & 5 end up unhappy, 2-4 get by because they're enfranchised to interact with others on their own terms.

I think what this thread could use though, is some anecdotes. I'm sure you started it based on a couple of conversations you've had with people, so maybe you could tells us what these unpopular opinions that get people angry would be? My guess would be that someone said something that got under your skin, and later on you thought it might have been good to call them out on it?
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29 / M / USA
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Posted 5/26/14
"everyone on the face of the planet has the right to speak freely"

This is not at all true. Yes, in our current age, human life has more value than ever before, but there are places on the other side of the world where an entire gender is not given freedom of very much anything. Slavery still exists. Oppression is very much a thing.

Even in America, where so many of us mob together and scream our opinions towards the world (Murica, as it were), in the eyes of our government we equate to yes and no, democrat, republican, or unnecessary other options, etc etc. We may - in our smallest of circles - be able to share our thoughts and ideas with others, but we are ever so close to being the outcast simply by providing a difference of opinion.

I ramble though.

Not all have the right to speak freely, though it is a very pretty idea that this may one day be true. In the meantime, we all wish to express our opinions, and to be accepted (if not that, then at least understood).
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 5/26/14


I'm mentioning unpopular opinions in general. If someone were to say "There needs to be a WW3 in order to change the way things are now" some one else will disagree on that since war is a terrible thing to happen to them. That is the type of unpopular that I can only think of. No one got under my skin, I just find myself viewing the world not only through my eyes but my thoughts.

I think too much. Humans still confuse me too much.
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24 / M / Osaka
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Posted 5/27/14

qualeshia3 wrote:



I'm mentioning unpopular opinions in general. If someone were to say "There needs to be a WW3 in order to change the way things are now" some one else will disagree on that since war is a terrible thing to happen to them. That is the type of unpopular that I can only think of. No one got under my skin, I just find myself viewing the world not only through my eyes but my thoughts.

I think too much. Humans still confuse me too much.

But it won't be that single opinion that will make people not like the person saying them. Usually that kind of opinion will be symptomatic of a serious lack of regard for human life and disconnect from society, and that's the essential reason why that person will probably not be very popular. If you hold violent or prejudiced views, those are the only ones you need to keep to yourself.
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39 / M / Smosh
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Posted 5/27/14
well look at it this way, there's people who wanna out right hurt you and attack you for the sake of making you angry, Like people who send you notes or spam insults telling you to go die, which you should never pay any mind, people who want you to get mad so you lose your job or get in trouble in school by picking on you till you yell in class. Those who hurt you with out noticing because they are very blunt and have thick skin, like me, I used to be very blunt but I got tact, I can be very honest with my friends & if I see a person is a fickle or a non true friend I leave their side, they often hate that but better a friend who says what you need to hear than one who always agrees with you, you can't grow this way. Others have conditions like autism etc who have trouble soocialicing and need patience, & the highstrung crowd. Overly sensitives are out there and sadly the insensitives you speak of , kind of helped create them. like people who hear all the time "it's your fault I tricked you, it's your fault you got mad , grow a sense of humor". You meet all types in public or private where you need to keep some restraint. I mean there is freedom of speech, a simple opinion, a true constructive criticism, miscommunication and then there is abuse, just cuz you CAN do something doesn't mean you have the right to. Best is to learn from people, handle em differently & go from there on how to treat em. U get good skills this way ^_^ social psychology will also help you deal with em imho. sadly some peeps make others who give honesty seem like they r jerks when it's just them bein honest :/
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 5/27/14


That was the only one I could think of, seriously.

It's normal and "popular" to say "war is terrible" rather than "war is actual good" out loud. Some people just have to keep their opinion to themselves when they feel the need to voice it.

Can you please just tell me if I'm over thinking this?
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24 / M / Osaka
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Posted 5/27/14 , edited 5/27/14

Uhh no, doesn't seem like you're overthinking anything. This kind of discussion is what forums are for, imo.

Either way I can see what you mean, it's really just about tact. If you hold really different views and don't keep schtum enough then yeah, after a while it might be hard to still hang out with people especially if the subject comes up a lot. You can always just engage only when you feel like you'd be able to get the upper hand and not get emotional :P

This is speaking from experience though, I've often been alone against several people in a discussion and that doesn't tend to be very fun. Eventually I just got a thicker skin and got more confident so I'm not bothered by controversy and all that. Can you see that happening with you?

Edit: As an avid military history reader, I'll venture to say that people who think war is by definition good are thoroughly clueless on the subject

Not that I'm assuming you hold that opinion.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 5/27/14


Oh no! I can't handle the thought of war happening. I only enjoy military history and the wars when comes to writing fiction.

I'm just curious is to how someone can think how "war is good" I'll just say to myself "people think whatever they want so why should I care." There are too many straightforward and blunt people who don't really think about the things they say. Some care while some others do not care about speaking their opinions. The world is a strange place to live in.
Sogno- 
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Posted 5/27/14
well if we just let people think whatever they want to think & never challenge their ideas/opinions then we wouldn't have come very far...
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 5/27/14 , edited 5/27/14

Sogno- wrote:

well if we just let people think whatever they want to think & never challenge their ideas/opinions then we wouldn't have come very far...


Tricky is it?
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 7/19/15

deformity wrote:

"everyone on the face of the planet has the right to speak freely"

This is not at all true. Yes, in our current age, human life has more value than ever before, but there are places on the other side of the world where an entire gender is not given freedom of very much anything. Slavery still exists. Oppression is very much a thing.

Even in America, where so many of us mob together and scream our opinions towards the world (Murica, as it were), in the eyes of our government we equate to yes and no, democrat, republican, or unnecessary other options, etc etc. We may - in our smallest of circles - be able to share our thoughts and ideas with others, but we are ever so close to being the outcast simply by providing a difference of opinion.

I ramble though.

Not all have the right to speak freely, though it is a very pretty idea that this may one day be true. In the meantime, we all wish to express our opinions, and to be accepted (if not that, then at least understood).


I see what you mean.
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27 / M
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Posted 7/19/15

qualeshia3 wrote:

Do you think I'm over thinking this TOO much for no reason? Should you say how you feel whether regardless if someone disagrees? Is it nice to consider someone's feeling when sharing your honest opinion?

Bonus Question (optional):

1. Can an opinion really make someone an asshole?


I don't think you are overthinking.

Merely disagreeing doesn't and shouldn't give a person the ability to halt another's expression of his/her opinion. Disagreement is mere disagreement, not anger or taking offense. Whether or not someone is offended by your opinion doesn't matter. Complaining about being offended is nothing more than a whine. Being offended doesn't make a person right, nor does it make a person's opinion somehow more valuable that that of one who isn't offended.

It's obviously good to consider a person's feelings when expressing your opinion, but you should also consider your own purpose of expressing it. I see no harm in ever having an open discussion, even about controversial topics. The problem is that people don't know how to separate an attack from a contrary belief. And people often don't know how to present their opinion without coming off as angry and narrow-minded. They believe anything that isn't consistent with their own opinion is an attack, but, to those people....nobody knows who you are, nobody cares, you are not important, so get over yourself because there's no reason for anyone to target you. There was a saying that I don't quite remember. Something about how encountering one or two assholes a day is fine, but when everybody is an asshole every day, the problem is probably you.

Also, there are certain things to do when having a discussion. Just as in your behavior, your speech should be governed by manners and common courtesy. People don't seriously expect others to listen to them when they start a sentence with "That's so stupid, you're wrong because...." do they? Then don't type like that. The opinion should be presented objectively, rather than being crafted to sound like you are targeting someone. The point of having an open discussion about differing opinions is to understand perspectives other than your own. Your goal should be to present your perspective, not to prove others wrong or to make a personal attack. You don't necessarily have to enter a discussion with the purpose of persuading people. In fact, you probably shouldn't unless you are very experienced because you're more likely to become competitive and argumentative that way. And once you start getting heated, nobody is going to listen to you.

To answer the bonus question: No, an opinion doesn't make a person an asshole. Bad conduct makes a person an asshole, not necessarily backward beliefs or differing values.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 7/19/15

Morbidhanson wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Do you think I'm over thinking this TOO much for no reason? Should you say how you feel whether regardless if someone disagrees? Is it nice to consider someone's feeling when sharing your honest opinion?

Bonus Question (optional):

1. Can an opinion really make someone an asshole?


I don't think you are overthinking.

Merely disagreeing doesn't and shouldn't give a person the ability to halt another's expression of his/her opinion. Disagreement is mere disagreement, not anger or taking offense. Whether or not someone is offended by your opinion doesn't matter. Complaining about being offended is nothing more than a whine. Being offended doesn't make a person right, nor does it make a person's opinion somehow more valuable that that of one who isn't offended.

It's obviously good to consider a person's feelings when expressing your opinion, but you should also consider your own purpose of expressing it. I see no harm in ever having an open discussion, even about controversial topics. The problem is that people don't know how to separate an attack from a contrary belief. And people often don't know how to present their opinion without coming off as angry and narrow-minded. They believe anything that isn't consistent with their own opinion is an attack, but, to those people....nobody knows who you are, nobody cares, you are not important, so get over yourself because there's no reason for anyone to target you. There was a saying that I don't quite remember. Something about how encountering one or two assholes a day is fine, but when everybody is an asshole every day, the problem is probably you.

Also, there are certain things to do when having a discussion. Just as in your behavior, your speech should be governed by manners and common courtesy. People don't seriously expect others to listen to them when they start a sentence with "That's so stupid, you're wrong because...." do they? Then don't type like that. The opinion should be presented objectively, rather than being crafted to sound like you are targeting someone. The point of having an open discussion about differing opinions is to understand perspectives other than your own. Your goal should be to present your perspective, not to prove others wrong or to make a personal attack. You don't necessarily have to enter a discussion with the purpose of persuading people. In fact, you probably shouldn't unless you are very experienced because you're more likely to become competitive and argumentative that way. And once you start getting heated, nobody is going to listen to you.

To answer the bonus question: No, an opinion doesn't make a person an asshole. Bad conduct makes a person an asshole, not necessarily backward beliefs or differing values.


Thank you.
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