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Are all the men to blame for?
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22 / F / Washington
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Posted 5/28/14
Let's get controversial

So on Facebook I have been seeing statuses by feminist claiming that all the male species are dangerous. And that men get away with sexual harassment to much.

Here's a story of a female getting actually sexually harassed:

Today I was waiting in line for lunch at the cafeteria when a group of boys started pointing a laser at my breasts. For a moment, I tried to ignore them. I was wearing a short dress and my breasts are a bit larger than most peoples, so in a low cut shirt, they are more noticeable (but they were not so noticeable as to pop out of my dress). I played it off cool and ignored them. Then they started making comments about me, saying very inappropriate things about what they wanted to do to me and continued to point the laser at me.

I dropped everything and snapped. Putting my backpack down, I walked directly over to them, FUMING with a red face and immediately went off on them. I started out calm and polite, saying “How dare you treat me like I’m some walking, talking sex that is simply standing there for the pleasure of you to look at.” “Shame on you for degrading me and acting like I’m just a walking pair of tits.” “This is the epitome of a misogyny.”

They stared at me for a long moment, some of them trying to hold back a laugh as one then got up, holding up his hands as he proceeded to nod, apologizing for his actions and extending his arms. He seemed as though he was actually, genuinely sorry, so I nodded, thanking him as he then asked if he could hug me for standing up for myself. When I went in for a hug, he proceeded to grab my ass, going INTO my dress.

I pushed him away, and FREAKED OUT. I couldn’t hold back my foul language anymore—I was absolutely livid. I was swearing up a storm, screaming at the top of my lungs, making a scene (which I know is immature, but I was so angry I couldn’t help it) as people turned heads and teachers and security began to approach us. I went on, and on, pulling out every what reason as to why rape culture continues to exist because of their actions, to which I believe the one who hugged me got offended as he then called me a “motherfucking dumb cunt, stupid whore, fucking bitch,” etc.

Of course, I kept going. I can’t stand when people insult me in such a degrading manner. I got in his face, pushing his boundaries, saying that the way I’m pushing on his personal space is nowhere near compared to that of how men treat women as walking, talking sexual organs.

Then he tried to hit me. He grabbed my arm with one hand, raising the other to what I assume was to smack me in the face, so I immediately raised my arm and punched him in the nose.

At that point, security and teachers pulled us apart and I was still screaming at him, and he was screaming at me, too.

When teachers finally pulled me out of the cafeteria, they immediately started blaming ME. “You should have ignored him.”

Yes, maybe I could have, but when I first initially walked up to them, I was playing nice. Then he sexually harassed me.

They continued to dismiss the entire situation as “boys will be boys”, so I immediately retorted with “Well then girls will be girls.” To which they immediately shook their heads and laughed at me. Then one of the security guards had the audacity to turn and say to me, “Maybe you shouldn’t have worn such a suggestive attire.”

I lost it. I started to scream at this man, yelling at him for once again objectifying my body as if it’s some piece of ass that must be covered up at all times because males are not responsible for controlling themselves.

Finally, when they realized how upset that I was, they immediately reeled back, apologized, but they are still not going to punish those men for sexually harassing me, as they still believe I asked for it. They did, however, decide not to suspend me for hitting him because they knew that I was not going to let this go.

I have never been so fed up before. This is ridiculous. Once again, these fucking idiots are getting away with mistreating women and the victim gets blamed furthermore, and to shut them up they just decide not to take any further action.

They didn’t even ask me to write a statement.

UPDATE: When I went to my next class after, I talked to my teacher about it and she escorted me to the security office and defended me until police were brought in. I then made a statement to the police and now they are going to take care of the situation.

Please share to show that misogyny and victim blaming still exists. This is why I need feminism.


Are men actually the problem here? Or is it the media? I mean you see it in movies, TV shows, and even ANIME.
So how do we change this?
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22 / F / Washington
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Posted 5/28/14 , edited 8/24/14
I think where we need to start is by changing the media. Sexual harassment is not every girls fantasy. Not every girl wants to be pushed up against a wall by some stranger or someone they no but don't like... I know this. It's happened to me and I hated every second of it. It happens all the time in anime which I think it's wrong. Which is part of the reason I didn't like SAO during the last couple episodes... it made me cry because as a female it was watching someone get almost raped.
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26 / F / Yorkshire, UK
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Posted 5/28/14 , edited 8/24/14

Dropplet wrote:

Let's get controversial

So on Facebook I have been seeing statuses by feminist claiming that all the male species are dangerous. And that men get away with sexual harassment to much.

Are men actually the problem here? Or is it the media? I mean you see it in movies, TV shows, and even ANIME.
So how do we change this?


Stuff like this annoys me, as it portrays all men are like that and they aren't. Men aren't the problem here, its the media. Yeah, there are men out there that are like that, but I'm pretty sure that there are also women out there that are like that, but that never gets shown. Not all men are the same
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25 / M / Inside Lorreen's...
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Posted 5/28/14
Sure why not, media and feminists wont change their point of view about it and they are the loudest saying us men are to blame so no one will hear anything else.
Posted 5/28/14
men are the roots of all evil.

[women are the water that supports those roots, so you gals aren't any better]
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21 / M / The Netherlands
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Posted 5/28/14
I dont even go outside how the fuck am i supposed to sexual harass women
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22 / F / Washington
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Posted 5/28/14

Ray_girl wrote:


Dropplet wrote:

Let's get controversial

So on Facebook I have been seeing statuses by feminist claiming that all the male species are dangerous. And that men get away with sexual harassment to much.

Are men actually the problem here? Or is it the media? I mean you see it in movies, TV shows, and even ANIME.
So how do we change this?


Stuff like this annoys me, as it portrays all men are like that and they aren't. Men aren't the problem here, its the media. Yeah, there are men out there that are like that, but I'm pretty sure that there are also women out there that are like that, but that never gets shown. Not all men are the same


And see this is where a feminist comes in and laughs at "not aaaaaall men". I do think the media plays a huge part in it. And my theory why men rape more is just because of that's how a mans psychological mind is built. A man has the instinct to be in charge and protect (usually) but when someone is mentally ill it can screw that up a bit which causes wanting power and which is why rape happens.

Blaming all men is like blaming all dogs for the ones that bite.
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20 / M / Eng Land
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Posted 5/28/14 , edited 5/28/14
Yeah, I can fairly say that, as a guy, I wouldn't dare have the balls, nor the want to behave in such a disgusting manner. If the media is to blame then it's only very slightly, almost nill if you ask me. I've watched hundreds of anime and TV Shows and not even once have I wanted to do that to anyone. It can give a person ideas, but if they act on that just because they saw it on TV then they're the ones who are fucked in the head. Rather than looking for things to blame we need to realise that some people are just messed up in the head.

Though as much as I feel sorry for the poor girl having to experience that, it was quite a foolish move to hug a boy who had just been pointing a laser at her breasts and was what I assume to be a stranger to her. Isn't that basic common knowledge? You don't trust a stranger regardless of who they are, especially if they just did something like that to you.

Do I think men are solely to blame and we should all be yelling 'HAIL FEMINISM' from the rooftops? Hell no. I will gladly treat women fairly, and I think those that aren't going to never will. It's bad to treat a woman as a sexual object, most anyone knows that, but it doesn't mean people won't proceed to still do it. Hell, there are women out there who treat men like garbage, usually the aptly named 'feminazis' who I understand aren't representative of feminists. There are even women who rape men and the like. Do women get treated like sex objects sometimes? Yes, but it's not just happening to females.
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Posted 5/28/14

They stared at me for a long moment, some of them trying to hold back a laugh as one then got up, holding up his hands as he proceeded to nod, apologizing for his actions and extending his arms. He seemed as though he was actually, genuinely sorry, so I nodded, thanking him as he then asked if he could hug me for standing up for myself. When I went in for a hug, he proceeded to grab my ass, going INTO my dress.



This line was so funny. Funny in creative way, not that i appreciate it.
Posted 5/28/14 , edited 8/24/14
I don't have the balls to talk to girls never mind sexually harass them.
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21 / M / NC
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Posted 5/28/14 , edited 8/24/14

haikinka wrote:

I don't have the balls to talk to girls never mind sexually harass them.


Seconded. Any filthy sexual harrassment I had inside of me died off in middleschool... Here I am in college, And I've only talked to 5 or so new people...
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27 / M / Northern Ireland
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Posted 5/28/14
All this is is painting a whole group of people with the same brush based on the behaviour of a few. It is sexism and nothing more. Nearly half of all reported domestic violence is female on male but women aren't getting labelled as abusive now are they?

Look at it this way; if even half a percent of the world's total population are assholes that is still over 3 million assholes. It may seem like a lot but it is no way indicative of the human population as a whole.
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20 / F / Australia
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Posted 5/28/14 , edited 8/24/14
Equality is what society should be striving to achieve.
Putting down a man because you think that is empowering to women is a narrow mindset and counter-productive. This attitude can be applied to any situation, regardless of age, race, gender and so forth.

What people need to understand is that we are what shapes our society, if we want to make a change, all we have to do is change ourselves. You can blame the media all you want for encouraging negative body image and unrealistic expectations of what a body should be or look like on women, yet women continue to buy beauty products, those gossip magazines that encourage bitching, gossiping and being judgmental, and so forth. Why? Media targets consumer wants and needs - they release what we want to see, what will sell and make profit. You can not entirely blame media for anything in regards to this topic because they see what we react to and deliver, even if it harbors hate, it stimulates a response deeming it something that will catch the attention of consumers and thus earn profit. If a trend or the like was released by the media and was ignored completely by individuals, it would not exist as a trend.

"Feminism" shouldn't be about putting down others in order to empower one self (as I mentioned earlier), but rather to give women more credit for their hard work, to recognize and praise women on their achievements, their struggles and their huge role in society itself, to allow women the environment to excel and not be held back because "they're a woman therefore they can't have this job or they're not capable or I can't take a woman with a high status seriously and will act condescendingly or inappropriately towards her".

"Feminism" is simply women speaking up. They should be speaking up about equality instead. Women and men are equal, women and men should have equal rights, women and men can be lawyers, nurses, teachers, engineers, soldiers, women and men are not restricted to pursuing any career because of their gender but rather can pursue any means of education and career they wish. Women and men should be taken equally as serious because both are capable of great intellect and leadership skills. Women and men are equal. Women should not strive to put down men and become the dominant gender, as much as men should not act condescendingly towards women because they believe they are the higher power.
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29 / M / Kentucky
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Posted 5/28/14 , edited 8/24/14
After reading the giant wall of text, all I can say is that this story sounds fabricated or something that happened long in the past. Who talks like that and who says things like that anymore? Its the 21st century, usually women have more power in courts than guys now.

It just feels like a nonfiction fem grab story in this day and age, seriously.

Just to play devils advocate though:

Suppose the woman had went up to a guy and called him a bunch of ugly things and he punched her in the nose. This dudes likely to end up expelled and his family sued for medical bills. Why? Because the punishment for hitting a girl is just more "severe" due to "morals". Fems want equality but in most cases ignore the opposite ends of the spectrum.
Posted 5/28/14 , edited 8/24/14
Well when I was 18 I worked for a major company and I was Harassed every day by 8 different guys in my department, I couldnt do anything at all I endured 8 months of horrible stuff. But one day a new guy witnessed some stuff and he volunteered to go with me.... well I was forced to quit and nothing was done to any of those guys even though I wrote down everything that was said and done and I even found out through my friend there that they had video evidence of them harassing me. I was so pissed but what goes around come around eventually. I dont blame men, I only blame those who were involved and I pity them. Not all men are bad, there are just some messed up ones out there. It's just sad that there are people that get away with this and even girls can harass a man so gender aside... its wrong to harass anyone.
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