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Do you need to be Social?
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17 / M / Salt Lake City, Utah
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Posted 6/11/14
In many cases people have social lives, no matter how unsocial they claim to be, because they know at least one person. Now that doesn't mean that you have the best social life, but you have one.

Do you need to be social?

Personally, I think that people don't need to be social because sometimes it's really hard for them to bare with the differences. I myself experience this a lot with people my age, a lot of times I think of one thing and they think the other. What I consider to be fun, isn't fun. So, it's a lot easier to just not be social or have as little contact with people as I can, now that doesn't mean I cut myself off from everyone else, but I just don't purposely go out there and try to make friends. I guess I could be more social if I found more people like myself, but that seems really unlikely.

I seem to be doing just fine being alone most of the time, it's just that I'm a lot more awkward when I do meet people, but now this just depends on how you define alone. I define it as having no social contact with like-minded people with similar ideas and thoughts. Webster defines it as being apart from others; solitary.

What are your thoughts on stuff like this?

A lot of people might say that you need to be a little social, but why?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for the help
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Posted 6/11/14
^ You look like the guy from Big Bang.
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32
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Posted 6/11/14
Being social is like consuming food and water. With out food your body will die, without social lives your mind will die.
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19 / F / ON, Canada
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Posted 6/11/14
I honestly don't bother with socializing much past talking to people on Steam. But even then, it's pretty uncommon. You don't have to have one, but it's better to have just a little bit on the side so you don't go mental and start talking to your stuffed animal collection.
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19 / http://myanimelis...
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Posted 6/11/14 , edited 6/11/14
Need one? Nope.

While I do chat(text chat, no voice) a lot online(even then, to a very limited amount of people), IRL I don't have one at all.
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17 / M / Salt Lake City, Utah
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Posted 6/11/14

TsunLemon wrote:

Need one? Nope.

While I do chat(text chat, no voice) a lot online(even then, to a very limited amount of people), IRL I don't have one at all.


Nice to know that I'm not alone
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25 / M / Fenix, AZ
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Posted 6/11/14
It is necessary to have some sort of human interaction, our biology forces us to. Even if it is just our parents or going grocery shopping. I forgot how but basically just the sight of another human face releases a chemical in our brain necessary for survival. So yes you DO need to have human interaction, even if it isn't with friends.
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18 / F / California
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Posted 6/11/14
No, I don't think somebody requires a steady social life, only a bit is required, honestly. And with my personal experience, as somebody who often enjoys being alone, I find myself often being overwhelmed by others' emotions, as I am a rather composed, logical thinker rather than an emotional, louder person.

I love very low-key, drama-free relationships where we all can just hang out, play games, and do probably stupid shit. I'm fine with emotionally supporting somebody, but I've had a case where every day there was an emotional issue, and I felt responsible as a friend to make sure that he felt better, I stuck with him even though it was very strange, and uncomfortable to a certain degree, to see that a person can be so emotional instead of calmly analyzing a situation and thinking it through, but that's just a difference in personalities, I suppose.

I just think that when you are aware that your friend handles situations differently, be conscious of that before overwhelming them with your problems/emotions or disregarding somebody's issues as something that is not a problem to you; It's a problem to them, they're upset, help them. I think consciousness of everybody's feelings, rather than just your own, is vital in social situations.

(Sorry that I ranted there, I've been having some issues dealing with a suicidal friend who takes up a lot of my time, but if it comes down to my time or their life, I'm going to choose their life, obviously. Hope I somehow answered your question.)
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20 / F / Australia
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Posted 6/11/14 , edited 6/11/14
I cut myself off from everyone in my life for 3 years straight. I had a lot of "friends", but I also dealt with a lot of drama, the pressure of getting an education, problems with my life at home and my mental health. Those days were some of the worst in my life. Due to my spike in anxiety during that time period and my lack of social interaction, trust and my fear of making any form of association with another human being I came out the other side of my experience with social anxiety.

The "friends" I did make in my last 2 years of high school consisted of superficial bonds. I didn't lend myself to any of the relationships I formed, so where individuals thought they were close friends with me in reality they knew nothing about me and I was intentionally keeping them at an arm's length. Whenever they asked me to go out shopping with them or get lunch with them, I would bail. Sometimes I would pretend I would come and then bail last second because I fell "sick" or "something came up".

Life is very difficult without a social life, regardless of whether or not you actually like being social. I hate being social to the point where the anxiety of it all can make me sick, but without a social life I was in even more misery. It is always essential to maintain some form of being social. Even if you don't go out with people your age, if you have people in any of your classes that you can just walk up to and sit with - then you're good to go.

Thanks to my boyfriend of nearly a year, I've been able to improve myself a little (I also wouldn't have been able to meet him, had I decided to bail on my plan of going to the pub that night like I normally would). Because of him I've met new people, been to new places, had new experiences and learned more about myself and my mind in regards to my anxiety and, in particular, social anxiety. There have been nights where I felt like absolute crap, but I would rather go out to a social event and feel like crap than stay home all night feeling even worse because I regret not going. Perhaps my distaste for being social will never go away, and perhaps my anxiety will always be there, but I feel like I've achieved something every time I make it through a social event and even though I feel mentally and physically exhausted, I have a good night's sleep afterwards (something that is rare for me).

Edit: I have 2 friends - my boyfriend and his best friend. The times in which I'm most social is online in forums like this, on Steam, in-game and such.

Note: there are a lot of studies regarding social lives and the quality of individual's lives as well as the effects of having a healthy social life. It'd be worth looking up.
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40 / M / Clearwater, Florida
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Posted 6/11/14
Nope, I like quiet and solitude way too much. The thing that bugs me, is people trying to force me to be "social" and waste my time on things I have no interest in.
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17 / F / San Pablo, Calfor...
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Posted 6/11/14
I'm not very social but I have friends. Without friends I would be depressed most definitely and I would have no reason to do anything that I love. I don't watch anime because I really have a desire to. I do it because my friends are doing it and it makes them happy. And I want us to be happy together.
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21 / M / In my own lalaland
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Posted 6/11/14
Nope if you don't want it. Yes if you want it.
For me just meh....
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26 / The Raggedy Edge
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Posted 6/11/14
Some people are extroverts and are thus more outgoing, more likely to find people with whom they can relate, and generally like to socialize a lot. Other people are introverts and conversely don't want to get out much, don't often meet people with whom they can relate, and as a result don't feel so compelled to socialize all that much.

I'm generally quite introverted, my interests, ideals and definitions of fun simply don't line-up with most of the people I meet when I go out; and I generally prefer to be solitary overall, often going days without seeing anyone I know. As a contrast, my sister is very much an extrovert, she's very outgoing and gets depressed and lonely without frequent social contact.

As for the root of the question; do you need to be social? I'd say not so much. While I'll run into my family every other day, I only get to meet up with my admittedly few friends every other month, we're all too busy most of the time to otherwise meet more regularly. While I don't reject socializing, I dislike the idea of being dependent upon it.

Of course, when you're in your teens, and probably still at home, if you don't move with the normal social crowd, you'll find yourself alone. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, however, as it means that you are being honest with yourself and avoiding the traps of peer-pressure; and that is a generally good thing overall.

At the end of the day, I guess it's a case of look for it if you want it, leave it if you don't.
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21 / M
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Posted 6/11/14

Shnooze wrote:

I honestly don't bother with socializing much past talking to people on Steam. But even then, it's pretty uncommon. You don't have to have one, but it's better to have just a little bit on the side so you don't go mental and start talking to your stuffed animal collection.


hey i only talk to stuffed animals when they talk to me first
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Posted 6/11/14 , edited 6/11/14

TheChowster wrote:

In many cases people have social lives, no matter how unsocial they claim to be, because they know at least one person. Now that doesn't mean that you have the best social life, but you have one.

Do you need to be social?

Personally, I think that people don't need to be social because sometimes it's really hard for them to bare with the differences. I myself experience this a lot with people my age, a lot of times I think of one thing and they think the other. What I consider to be fun, isn't fun. So, it's a lot easier to just not be social or have as little contact with people as I can, now that doesn't mean I cut myself off from everyone else, but I just don't purposely go out there and try to make friends. I guess I could be more social if I found more people like myself, but that seems really unlikely.

I seem to be doing just fine being alone most of the time, it's just that I'm a lot more awkward when I do meet people, but now this just depends on how you define alone. I define it as having no social contact with like-minded people with similar ideas and thoughts. Webster defines it as being apart from others; solitary.

What are your thoughts on stuff like this?

A lot of people might say that you need to be a little social, but why?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks for the help


The sentence in red was the core of all you said.
I do agree with you its very unlikely to find like minded people if you are unsocial to the degree you described.
The problem you described about baring the differences is also a good point the society of today is trained to be unsocial texting facebook and all that crap is not a sufficient alternative which is why more and more young people have problems fitting in outside of there virtual socializing.

As to why you should be a little social well if you lack the ability to bare with not like minded people in a private relaxed setting how will you handle the business world?

Sure you could be happy to be nothing more than one of the smallest wheels in the machine just doing what you are told and never advancing to anything but if you wanna make something out of you you need to be able to socialize.
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