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A Question About Love
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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 6/22/14

Phersu wrote:

Do you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else? I'm honestly curious what some of you think of this. Can you love somebody else without loving yourself? Perhaps even hating yourself? Why do you think so?

I'm of the opinion you can, given there is a reason to love them and not yourself.



You love yourself and love somebody else at the same time. That's all I could pretty much say.
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Posted 6/22/14

NintendoFan05 wrote:


You love yourself and love somebody else at the same time. That's all I could pretty much say.


Whoa, two at once? What am I, French?
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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 6/22/14

Phersu wrote:


NintendoFan05 wrote:


You love yourself and love somebody else at the same time. That's all I could pretty much say.


Whoa, two at once? What am I, French?


Well Are you? lol. just kidding.
But here's what I'm trying to say. Love is like keychains. Whoever you love is attached to them. Yourself included.
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25 / M / USA
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Posted 6/22/14
I do not believe it is possible to love another without loving oneself.

Everyone has a general idea of what love is supposed to be. But Love is a truly ambiguous concept for the human being. Now I am not claiming that I know what it takes to love oneself or another. But I believe that Love can not be taught from one person to another. Love is earned through the hard work of the two people involved. It is up to those individuals to mold the love that is suitable for their unique relationship.
The socially accepted morals blind us and cultural guidelines often stand to contradict us (Other people telling us what is right and what is wrong). Most cultures and religion forcibly preach love. But we all know that the world is diverse and that just about everyone is different. While groups of people may have come from the same place and claim they are of a specific group, they will have a different interpretation than the person they are next to. Referencing the Butterfly Effect, from person to person opinions are projected and received through debate and conversation until it all comes back together creating a storm of ambiguity concerning that concept. This is also true for the different concepts of morality in accordance to the individual.
Love, Responsibility and Self-preservation. This is my holy trinity, if you lack one of those aspects I would say you're fairly prone to suicidal tendencies (No offense intended). The significance of the aspects are what our morals are based around. Love is the connection of the self and the other self. Self-preservation in body, mind and soul. Recognizing and acting out our morals allows us to understand the importance of Love and Self-preservation. But do not misunderstand, this holy trinity is most certainly not harmonious. In fact, because humans are so flawed in both mind and body that we are unable to have harmony. In their journey to perfect themselves as a human being they break their morals, misunderstanding what needs to be done or simply out of neglect. The storm born from within the individual aids in the aforementioned scenario.
Point is people believe what they are experiencing is love. Or they have a misguided interpretation of what it is. I've never met a man or woman who truly understood what love is. But I can't say that anyone is wrong because I certainly do not know what is right. As I said before, Love is Ambiguous.

That was fun.
Posted 6/23/14

elan7aad10 wrote:


severticas wrote:
i wanna be federer!


Million apologies to everyone for offtopikking, but I just have to know: this your motto line - is it supposed to be shouted in rhythm of "I wanna be kennedy" of eponymous u96 track?! (This is how I read it and it makes it even more cool! :D)


*stares*
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Posted 6/23/14
It depends on what you mean by "love".
Posted 6/23/14
No I think that you can love someone else before you can love yourself. For example, when you are born you start to love your mom because she your mom and you never thought about yourself.
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33 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 6/23/14
you can love some one before you love yourself.
i do it all the time.
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21 / M / In my own lalaland
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Posted 7/5/14

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:

It's possible. I hate myself but loved someone. The only thing it changes is whether or not I want to actually be with someone or not. I can love someone but not want to be with them since I would think it's wrong to have them deal with that kind of thing. If that makes sense.


I know. I know
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20 / M / Eng Land
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Posted 7/5/14 , edited 7/5/14
Theoretically speaking I wouldn't have thought so. Just because you don't love the qualities that make up yourself doesn't mean you can't love someone else for the completely different qualities that make up them. Granted, the relationship will probably be more positive if you don't despise yourself every god given hour of the day. I'd imagine you'll be more hard pressed to have them love you back, since if you can't love yourself, chances are they'll struggle to love you, too.
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Posted 7/5/14 , edited 7/5/14
Ive been with the same girl since i was in the 5th grade and the feelings i have for her are way more stronger. I would give my life up to save her so with saying that loving yourself is diff then loving someone else, they are two very diff feelings at least to me.
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Posted 7/5/14
I don't love myself. I'm kind of lazy, can come off as rude and sometimes say things I don't mean.

And yet, here I am in a relationship with the girl of my dreams (for soon 2 years now).

Yes, it is entirely possible. The only people who disagree are those who try to set rules for society and how we should think.
/thread.
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20 / M / Italy
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Posted 7/5/14
I'll explain why it's asbolutely possible. Everybody who's been in a relationship atleast once knows what giving up your own self for the sake of the other person feels like. Love and hate are faces of the same coin and given that in a relationship love and hate are essential for it to work, it's absolutely possible to hate yourself and love someone else at the same time. The reason is way more logical than people think. Has it ever happened to you guys to have done something that hurt someone you love and thus you hate yourself? The fact that you hate yourself in that moment is a consequence of love, so it's just absurd to think you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself first.

I tend to have very long relationships because I don't like myself very much. I'm not satisfied with what I do and the way I do it, I'm not satisfied with my health I'm not satisfied with myself drinking and smoking but there's still one person that makes all of these sides of me completely vanish and my pro sides emerge.

Tl;dr: Given that love and hate are faces of the same coin, it's possible to hate yourself and turn the hate into love for someone else.
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21 / F / Canada
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Posted 7/5/14
I think it's possible...

I hated myself in my jr high years (oh the teenage angst!) but I still loved my parents and friends, even though I fought with my parents a lot. Who ever said that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else just meant that you have to be confident in yourself before having a serious long term romantic relationship with someone else. (Cos no one can put up with a self hating person for long)
Posted 7/5/14
I think it's possible. You can love and admire things even though you dislike or hate yourself, can't you?

So why would loving another person be impossible if you dislike yourself?

You'd probably see yourself as unworthy of their love, but I don't think it's impossible to (give) love.
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