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Going to kill myself
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Posted 6/20/14

Phersu wrote:

You're not the only one who feels as if they're missing something important. You're not the only one who hates them-self. But we all have different coping methods, it seems. Some people end their own misery in an act of ultimatum, as if the rest of humanity would notice. But humanity only notices the living, and soon they forget the dead.

So, I suppose, it's your choice. Ending it is an option, indeed it is. So is roughing it out, in hopes it gets better. Personally? I fake it. Put on a smile. Act confident and even narcissistic so nobody realizes what's going on inside. It gets better when I do this.


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19 / M / Ohio
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Posted 6/20/14
Really think about the porn.

Posted 6/20/14


Oh jesus.... The feels have arrived.
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22 / M
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Posted 6/20/14

demongurrl13 wrote:

Oh jesus.... The feels have arrived.


I know, right? I see we have this in common. Custom dictates you show me your panties now.
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26 / M
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Posted 6/20/14

demongurrl13 wrote:


snakevudo wrote:

I can see your jest, I can promise its not worthless outcry. I guess in someway not one wants there life to end but at the very least I feel like I left something in the sands of Afghanistan some part of me. I don't expect someone to stop me? Its a forums thread you can't stop me. As far as kind words, I've heard it before and seen it. Same story same ending. I guess I can't expect anything that I haven't heard or seen already.



Then maybe ask yourself this... Why did you not die there?

Did you not fight to survive that experience? And for what, just to shoot yourself?

Again, it's your life, your choice..

I just can't help but be annoyed of such a waste.


I guess in truth, I wasn't trying to survive. I was just trying to hold my end of the line so my brothers to my left and right didn't die. I couldn't live knowing I failed them... So I did everything in my power to make sure every single one of them went home. That wasn't good enough though, I can't seem to find a common ground to stand on. Its like being on a sinking ship and you can't stop the water from flooding it. Like a scar that doesn't ever really go away.
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27 / M / Northwest Florida
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Posted 6/20/14 , edited 6/20/14
you fought in Afghanistan how the hell do you thinks your Brothers-in-arms who sacrificed themselves would think of you being the bitch you are right now wanting to off yourself. Do you think it's they wanted to die just so you could be a little fucking pussy that cares for no one but themself.
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Posted 6/20/14

ouroburos wrote:

you fought in Afghanistan how the hell do you thinks your Brothers-in-arms who sacrificed themselves would think of you being the bitch you are right now wanting to off yourself. Do you think it's they wanted to die just so you could be a little fucking pussy that cares for no one but themself.


You should take a job as a cognitive therapist. I can tell you'd be good at it.
Posted 6/20/14

snakevudo wrote:


Amorsiempre wrote:

......... if your serious... umm.. thats unfortunate.. I mean life b**ch but you really shouldnt do it. But I have no right to tell you what to do.


Not about life being a bitch. Life is easy, I just make shit hard.


PTSD? have you tried seeking out Professional help? Any counseling or therapy?
Posted 6/20/14 , edited 6/20/14

snakevudo wrote:
I guess in truth, I wasn't trying to survive. I was just trying to hold my end of the line so my brothers to my left and right didn't die. I couldn't live knowing I failed them... So I did everything in my power to make sure every single one of them went home. That wasn't good enough though, I can't seem to find a common ground to stand on. Its like being on a sinking ship and you can't stop the water from flooding it. Like a scar that doesn't ever really go away.


Yea, kind of have to agree with ouroburos on that one. I mean...they probably felt the same way and fought more to protect you and the others same as you fighting for them. Now you are kind of throwing it in their faces.
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Posted 6/20/14
They will probably think it's their fault for your death
Posted 6/20/14

snakevudo wrote:

I guess in truth, I wasn't trying to survive. I was just trying to hold my end of the line so my brothers to my left and right didn't die. I couldn't live knowing I failed them... So I did everything in my power to make sure every single one of them went home. That wasn't good enough though, I can't seem to find a common ground to stand on. Its like being on a sinking ship and you can't stop the water from flooding it. Like a scar that doesn't ever really go away.


Then you swim. You wear something to cover up the scar or wear it proudly as some badge of honor. You fought for all those people but don't have the guts to fight for yourself? How did you survived in this world for as long as you have by having such a weakness?

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23 / M / Georgia
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Posted 6/20/14
Bro you can't die before weed is legal everywhere in the world.
Posted 6/20/14

Phersu wrote:

I know, right? I see we have this in common. Custom dictates you show me your panties now.


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Posted 6/20/14

Catman66 wrote:

Really think about the porn.
Think of all the anime you'd be missing.

Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
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27 / M
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Posted 6/20/14
Yeah I've been there. All you can really think about is the pain. You cant really think about anything else much less care about it. Hope you make it out on the other side man...
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Posted 6/20/14

demongurrl13 wrote:


snakevudo wrote:

I guess in truth, I wasn't trying to survive. I was just trying to hold my end of the line so my brothers to my left and right didn't die. I couldn't live knowing I failed them... So I did everything in my power to make sure every single one of them went home. That wasn't good enough though, I can't seem to find a common ground to stand on. Its like being on a sinking ship and you can't stop the water from flooding it. Like a scar that doesn't ever really go away.


Then you swim. You wear something to cover up the scar or wear it proudly as some badge of honor. You fought for all those people but don't have the guts to fight for yourself? How did you survived in this world for as long as you have by having such a weakness?



Its not always that simple. If it was I would have already done it.
Posted 6/20/14 , edited 6/20/14

snakevudo wrote:

Its not always that simple. If it was I would have already done it.


Excuses.

You, sir, are not the only one with scars or a past.
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