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How to cope with breaking up in a relationship and making friends
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33 / M / AZ
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Posted 6/23/14
Not sure why those here would say emotions have an age limit. I didn't know that at age 17 years, 5 months, and 3 days that you have less emotional ability then at 18 years, 2 days and 3 hours.

At the moment, eat your favorite food. Learn a new hobby. Drown yourself in new experiences and feelings. Try something you haven't done before. All these are meant to fill that hole you are feeling, it will heal up but a band-aid can sometimes help speed it up. Also, do your best not to think about the good times you had until they don't make you sad. Overtime they will become memories and not pain. good luck! I'm pulling for ya!
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19 / M / United States of...
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Posted 6/25/14

Raimu4 wrote:


gardion44 wrote:

I disagree with a lot of the people here who say "Oh, your'e too young for this." Just because they're older doesn't mean you can't feel loved, or you can't hate yourself. You guys need to get a reality check. I know how you feel, with break ups and all. They suck. I've only had one girlfriend before and we were strong for a long time. But then all of a sudden she didn't have feelings for me. They were for my best friend -_- Needless to say, I was pretty upset. We broke up about 8 months ago, and tho it did take a while for me to get over her, I did. The best way is to just have a good friend who will listen to your vent sessions. I find it great to vent. So ya, that is my advice. If you ever wanna vent or just talk, let me know


Ofcourse you disagree with us you are 16.


so you didnt have feelings when you were 16?
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23 / M / houston texas
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Posted 6/25/14
Look all ill have to say is that time just makes you feel better at not being with them.... i myself went tru the same situation 2 weeks ago....ill never will stop loving her but it doesn't mean i cant love some else the same way as her....i just have to find my next soul-mate
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25 / M / NYC Metro Area
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Posted 8/3/14 , edited 8/3/14
I resort to drinking as part of the post-breakup routine

However, my general advice to others is the following:
1. The first thing you are going to do after a breakup is think about it all the time, you will lose sleep and this sucks. So how do you combat this problem? Easy, find ways to occupy your time that you are simply to tired to care. This is the time to take up new hobbies you always considered doing, maybe taking on another part time job, if you have money or time take a vacation, meet up with friends, go on exciting day trips, etc.
After my last breakup, I was so depressed I decided to do something radical, I learned another language and did volunteer work in another country, helped me a lot to get through the tough time.

2. Talk about your problems, sure your best friends may get tired of it after a while, but everyone needs a healthy way to vent their anger.

3. Distance yourself from this person, at least in the short term. Your first idea is that maybe we can stay friends. While this is possible best to get away for at least a few months to help figure out how you are going to move on with your life. I recommend 3 months, I have been able to stay good friends with an ex, but I made sure I put some real distance between us for quite so time so that I wouldn't be stuck in the past. This means no answering phone calls, emails, facebook messages, etc. Pretend you don't give a shit. If you happen to run into this person in public make sure you let them know how busy you have been with your new life, mention your new hobbies, trips, and how your family is doing. Say you meant to contact them, but it must of slipped your mind. (Let them know that you don't owe them a damn thing). This serves two purposes: 1) it will make you feel good, and 2) if the other person has regrets for breaking up with you and if a chance for getting back together presents itself you force them to be the one to apologize. Understand that the second option is usually unlikely, but hey if you don't need to burn a bridge don't.

4. Do not date in the short term. Sure I know after I got dumped this is what I wanted to do, but in reality it is not a good idea. You will still be too mentally out of it to really start another healthy relationship. Sure go ahead, meet some opposite gender friends, go out on causal dates if needed, but if things start to get serious you might want to explain you just recently got out of a bad breakup and need time before you start dating. Besides, if this person is crazy about you it is unlikely they are just going to give up and run off on you. Don't wait for ever, but give yourself time to recover.

Breakups suck, but it is a time to enjoy other aspects of your life outside of your ended relationship, start a new chapter on your life, do things you always wanted to do, better yourself and one day everything will be alright
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Posted 8/4/14 , edited 8/4/14
Honestly, you should just move on. Easier said than done, but they are either a nuisance in your life, or an even bigger nuisance if you continued to pursue them. It's nice to have that BS off your shoulders, isn't it?
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23 / M / Somewhere in rura...
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Posted 8/4/14
So, first off, I will say that 17 year olds are capable of love, however relationships do require a bit of maturity (I say this as someone who pretty much made every worst possible decision after his break-up at 18) that you simply don't have at 17.
Now, with my experiences, I am far more capable of telling you what not to do than I am what to do.
!. Do not become self destructive, no smoking, drinking, drugs, cutting, gambling, lewd behavior, etc. If you pick up a hobby, make it something fun and safe.
2. Do not talk to him immediately, it can foster a weird sense of dependency that will crush you repetitively later on.
3. Do not involve your friends in this, nor should you rely on them too heavily. If you do, you may eventually find they will be pushed to their limits trying to handle you.
4. This age decides the rest of your life. That's bs, and it sucks, but it is heavily weighted, you need to do well in school or whatever your plans are.
5. Do keep good ties with your family.
6. Do not be afraid to love again, but make sure you're in it for how you feel toward the other person, not just because you feel empty.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 8/4/14 , edited 8/4/14
Forget about it and put the kettle on.
Posted 8/5/14
If it was something special its especially hard to move on. If it was just not working out, maybe it was for the best. But, overall it is quite hard to say goodbye. Its sad to end what could potentially gave continued. Yet, in reality its best to make time for yourself to recover. Do not dwell long. Whats done is done. However, if the person was treating you badly its best to just drop it all together. Unless, professional help is given. Others give strikes, I try to be pstient, but its all up to the two individuals. We grow with time &&& that said, hopefully when time moves forward we do the same &&& not revisit the past too much.
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18 / M
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Posted 8/5/14
It's just like when I finish a really good anime that made me cry, I go watch some more anime to get my mind off it.
Posted 8/5/14 , edited 8/5/14
Move on, don't dwell. What is done is done. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger <3 Surround yourself with friends and just do you! c:
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20 / F / Beyond the Boundary
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Posted 8/5/14
When I broke up with my bf I was more mad than heart broken but I hope this advice works. Hang with friends. Giggling over cute boys with my girls now is so much better than hanging out with the same old guy. I'm telling you, you will get over it soon and feel so much better, Good Luck!
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24 / F / United States, DE
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Posted 8/5/14
I know the feeling well, and it is horrible.

I was in the same boat a couple years ago when me and my bf of almost 5 years decided to break up. We had been high school sweethearts, and I honestly thought it was going to end in marriage one day.

I was a ghost for a long time before I finally came around. And then I started talking to my current bf, which helped a lot. Being around family and friends also helped get me through the tough times. It is very hard to move on sometimes, but from what I've experienced, it is definitely possible and the rewards for it can be great.

(( Also, I realize this is a bit of an old post, but I really hope things are going better for you now. Best wishes to you. <3 ))
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49 / M / Planet KLK-X
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Posted 8/5/14
Sometimes guys do really stupid shit like deciding to break up with an awesome girl for no good reason. It's probably not you.

Maybe he wanted to see what else was out there, got scared of commitment, or was simply struck senseless and somehow totally sidetracked by something that occurred in real life or even in fiction, like the changing seasons or a movie or the words of some ridiculous song on the radio. Something random popped into his head and he acted without thinking. Guys are idiots.
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25 / M
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Posted 8/5/14
Go on a trip to find yourself. Get some more life experience. Take it as an opportunity to grow as a person.
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15 / F / A state of content
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Posted 8/23/14

gardion44 wrote:


Raimu4 wrote:


gardion44 wrote:

I disagree with a lot of the people here who say "Oh, your'e too young for this." Just because they're older doesn't mean you can't feel loved, or you can't hate yourself. You guys need to get a reality check. I know how you feel, with break ups and all. They suck. I've only had one girlfriend before and we were strong for a long time. But then all of a sudden she didn't have feelings for me. They were for my best friend -_- Needless to say, I was pretty upset. We broke up about 8 months ago, and tho it did take a while for me to get over her, I did. The best way is to just have a good friend who will listen to your vent sessions. I find it great to vent. So ya, that is my advice. If you ever wanna vent or just talk, let me know


Ofcourse you disagree with us you are 16.


so you didnt have feelings when you were 16?


Even though I'm only 13, I think 16 is a little young, too. But the way Raimu4 put it sounded kind of insensitive. And rude. Anyway, think of it this way: You're probably gonna live until you're at least 70, so you have plenty of time to find a soulmate.
And, with a break up, here's what I think: You should keep saying to yourself: "Pfft, I'm f***ing hot! That person had no idea what the hell they were passing up!"
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